But You Look So Good

Two psychologists on a mission to illuminate the realities of living with chronic health conditions. Hosted by Sally Shaw and Seona Ilalio, both living with chronic conditions themselves. They lead Livology, a private practice specialising in psychological support for those navigating chronic health challenges. Tune in to hear candid conversations and professional insights designed to create community and connection within the chronic health conditions population.

Latest Episodes:

Wee Confessions: the Continence Conversation with KJ Oct 20, 2025

Show notes

Let’s talk wee and poo (yes, really). In this episode, psychologists Sally and Seona are joined by MS, Immunotherapy, and Continence Support Nurse KJ Lazarus from the Austin Hospital in Melbourne for an honest—and surprisingly funny—chat about one of the least talked-about sides of many chronic health conditions: continence. From unexpected leaks to constipation woes, KJ brings warmth, humour, and practical wisdom to a topic most of us prefer to avoid. We explore what’s actually normal, why these issues happen, and the small changes that can make a big difference—think pelvic floor basics, daily routines, and psychological strategies to be able to talk about it. There are laughs, some “oh thank goodness it’s not just me” moments, and plenty of reassurance that you don’t have to suffer in silence. Tune in for a candid, compassionate conversation that makes talking about wee and poo just another part of managing your chronic health condition.

We would also like to acknowledge the wonderful work of KJ’s mentor and friend, Louise Kurczycki, who, with her passing in 2014, left a legacy of improved incontinence assessment, treatment and care for those living with multiple sclerosis.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

Free Webinar - All I Want For Christmas... Is My Sanity - Preparing for Christmas Living with a Chronic Health Condition

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

F#@k This! Oct 13, 2025

Show notes

Have you noticed how many people wear T-shirts, tote bags, or pins that say “F#@k MS,” “F#@k Cancer,” “F#@k Fibromyalgia,” “F#@k Pain,” or “F#@k This Fatigue”?

There’s a reason those slogans resonate so deeply — they capture something that most people living with chronic health conditions rarely get to express openly: anger.

That gut-level, exhausted, fed-up, “I can’t do this anymore” kind of anger.The anger at your body, the system, the doctors, the constant uncertainty.The anger at how small your world can feel some days — and how invisible that pain often is to others.

In this episode, Seona and Sally unpack where that anger comes from, what the research tells us about it, and how to turn it from a destructive force into something empowering and protective.

Because behind every “F#@k my condition” moment is a person who still cares deeply about their life — and wants things to be better.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

Rewriting the Rules - Living beyond Society’s Shoulds Oct 06, 2025

Show notes

We all grow up absorbing society’s “shoulds”—what success looks like, how much we’re meant to achieve, and even how our bodies should function. But what happens when life doesn’t fit those rules? For many people living with chronic illness, these expectations become not only unrealistic, but harmful.

In this episode, we explore the hidden weight of societal expectations and why unlearning them is essential—not just for those managing health conditions, but for anyone longing to live more freely. We’ll talk about how to spot the “shoulds” that keep you stuck, why they hit harder when you’re navigating illness, and what it looks like to rewrite the rules in a way that honours your health, your values, and your humanity.

Practical strategies, reflective prompts, and a big dose of compassion will help you step into a life defined not by external pressure, but by authenticity and freedom.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

I Get Tired Too - Re-Release Sep 29, 2025

Show notes

This week, we revisit this episode of But You Look So Good where we explored the complexities of relatability when living with a chronic health condition. While well-meaning friends and family often try to connect, their efforts can sometimes feel dismissive or invalidating—especially when it comes to fatigue. Through personal stories, roleplays, and relatable scenarios, they unpack the stark difference between everyday symptoms and the persistent, overwhelming nature of chronic ones. Join the conversation to gain insights on how to foster genuine connection, empathy, and better communication with loved ones, while validating the unique challenges faced by those living with chronic conditions.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

Why Do We Self-Sabotage? Sep 22, 2025

Show notes

Ever caught yourself procrastinating, avoiding, or making choices that don’t serve you — even when you know better? That’s self-sabotage, and it’s far more common than we think. In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack why we get in our own way, what the research says about it, and how chronic health challenges can add extra layers of complexity. Together, they explore practical strategies to recognise self-sabotage, respond with compassion, and start moving in the direction that matters most.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

What if I’ve Made the Wrong Decision? Sep 15, 2025

Show notes

Sally and Seona explore the tricky (and sometimes tormenting) world of decision-making — especially when living with chronic health challenges. From decision fatigue to the regret spiral, they unpack why choices can feel so loaded and share practical ways to take the pressure down a notch. Think: treating decisions as data gathering, leaning into values, and sprinkling in some much-needed self-compassion. A thoughtful reframe to help you worry less about “the wrong decision” and focus more on what matters.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

Preparing for Medical Appointments Sep 08, 2025

Show notes

Ever left a medical appointment and thought, “Wait… what just happened?” You’re not alone. Research shows we forget up to 80% of what doctors tell us (so it’s not just the brain fog talking). In this episode, we’re diving into the art of preparing for medical appointments when you live with a chronic health condition.

From writing down your three most important questions, to remembering that yes, you are allowed to bring a support person (or at least a notebook), we’ll share practical tips to make your appointments less stressful and more productive.

We’ll also cover some psychological tricks – like reframing “I’m being difficult” into “I’m advocating for myself” – and why self-compassion belongs in your medical folder, right alongside your test results.

Think of this episode as the pep talk your future self will thank you for.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

Resilience: Not about Bouncing Back! Sep 01, 2025

Show notes

We hear the word resilience everywhere—but what does it really mean? In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack the myths around resilience and explore how we can actively build it in everyday life, especially when things don’t go to plan.

Resilience isn’t about being tough all the time, ignoring pain, or forcing positivity. Instead, it’s about flexibility, connection, and the “ordinary magic” of small daily practices that keep us steady. Drawing on research, lived experience, and practical psychology, we share five key ingredients that help strengthen resilience: connection, meaning-making, values-driven action, self-compassion, and flexibility.

For those living with chronic illness, resilience isn’t about snapping back to the old version of yourself—it’s about adapting, finding purpose, and building a meaningful life alongside the challenges. Tune in for practical tips, gentle reflections, and a reminder that resilience is something we can all grow, one thread at a time.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

Optimistic Realism - Let’s Go! Aug 25, 2025

Show notes

Living with a chronic health condition means facing a whole mix of emotions - from hope and positivity to worry and “what ifs.” In this episode of But You Look So Good, psychologists Sally and Seona dive into optimism, pessimism, and the middle ground we like to call optimistic realism. We explore what the research says about how mindset shapes our health, why a little pessimism isn’t always a bad thing, how blind optimism can be a bit dicey, and how optimistic realism is the place to aim for. Most importantly, we share practical tips for building “learned optimism” - simple strategies to bring more balanced hope into everyday life. Whether you tend to expect the best, brace for the worst, or swing between the two, this episode is for you. Join us for a grounded, lighthearted chat about finding hope without losing sight of reality.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

Music as a Mood Medicine Aug 18, 2025

Show notes

In this episode of But You Look So Good, psychologists Sally and Seona (who both live with chronic health conditions) explore how music can be a powerful tool for mood regulation and emotional support. From the stadium anthems that give you goosebumps to the songs that make you cry in the car park, we unpack how music affects the brain and why it can be more effective than you might think in shifting how we feel. We’ll dive into research around music as a coping strategy for chronic illness, and share simple, fun strategies you can try — like giving yourself a "playlist prescription." Bonus: no side effects! (except possibly dancing in your kitchen).

This episode is informative, practical, and filled with heart (and a few laughs). Please note: we are not saying for a second that some banging 90s tunes are a substitute for clinical treatment of mental health conditions.

But You'll Be OK (Online Course)⁠⁠ - a live, supportive, six-week experience designed specifically for people living with chronic illness.

⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠

⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠.

⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

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