But Not All At Once

Latest Episodes:

"Eat the Cake" with TikTok's Hospice Nurse Hadley Dec 09, 2020

Show notes

When I happened upon Nurse Hadley's TikTok, I was both drawn to and encouraged by her stories from the frontline of hospice care. Evidently I'm not alone; more than 750,000 followers agree.
Hadley went viral earlier this year after sending her children to stay with family so she and her husband, a doctor of physical therapy, could serve patients at the start of COVID.
Since then, she's answered questions about end-of-life care, reaffirmed her own belief in what happens after death, and reminded followers to "eat the cake" - something a young, terminal patient urged her to do. Life, she says, is too short not to take the trips and enjoy dessert.
You can find Hadley at lifeofhadley.com or @nursehadley on social media. While you're there, follow @butnotallatonce to join the conversation!
If you like what you heard, would you leave us a five-star review? It would be a perfect Christmas gift for the gal who laughs at her own jokes in your earbuds all year long.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

The Coaching Carousel with Kelli Staggs Dec 02, 2020

Show notes

In 14 years of marriage, Kelli Staggs has played mom, teacher and coach's wife in seven moves at six universities. Working alongside some of football's most renowned families, including Lou Holtz's and Steve Spurrier's, the Staggs have had a hand in growing football programs at the University of South Carolina, Charleston Southern, Furman and North Greenville.
Perhaps the wildest ride, however, is the latest stop on what Kelli calls their coaching carousel: Coastal Carolina University. This "little team that could" was expected to finish last in its conference; instead, the Chanticleers are among the top 15 teams in college football. This week, Kelli will watch as ESPN GameDay rolls into Conway, South Carolina to see it all in person.
Naturally, I asked her the important questions: How hard is it to find teal for game days? How old do you feel being around 19-year-old girls who'd have laughed at our tailgate sundresses?
We also touch on the importance of putting down roots, even if you only call a city home for a short time; how to build community; what it means to support your spouse's career; surviving a pandemic without losing your mind or your marriage; and Judy Garland's nightmare momager. (I'm not sure how or why that last topic popped up, but I'm hoping it's part of But Not All At Once's charm?)
As always, you can join the conversation at @butnotallatonce. Talk to you next week!

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Big Family, Small Business and Global Ministry with Katie Walters Nov 19, 2020

Show notes

Katie Walters is why this podcast started. Not the literal reason, but the embodiment of it - a woman you'd see across a party or in your social media feed and think, "That woman has it all together." She'd want you to know there's far more than meets the eye.
Katie is a stylish, joyful mother, due with her seventh any day now, and smitten wife to her pastor husband. She is CEO of a thriving missional fashion line, an encouraging social media presence, and somehow finds time to co-author a book about marriage with her husband, Josh.
That book in process, though? It documents the lessons gleaned from a marital crisis more than a decade ago. At the time, Katie had given her heart away and doubted she could ever view her husband as more than a roommate. Thirteen years later, their marriage is living proof that there's always more than meets the eye.
Katie embraces her gifts as a mother and lets the women around her help fill in the gaps. She pursues social justice and racial equality through her partnership with Togolese community leaders, Francis and Benedict, after whom she named the business that provides them with resources.
She speaks candidly about counting the seasons we have with our children, and watching them become even better than their parents are in many ways. You'll love Katie's perspective on what to share on social media and how to find a balance between authenticity and "bleeding out."
Learn more about Francis + Benedict at @francisandbenedict or francisandbenedict.com. You can connect with Katie at @katiewalters on Instagram.
This week's conversation is sponsored by Christy Hollywood Photography. Find examples of Christy Hollywood-Lynn's incredible work at @christyhollywoodphotography on Instagram or christyhollywoodphotography.com. Whether you need social media content, branding photography, or family and lifestyle portraits, her portfolio speaks for itself.
As always, you can find me at @butnotallatonce; I'd love to hear your thoughts! Take care, y'all, and I'll speak to you next week. xoxo

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Cancer Couldn't Be Our Life with Jenny Bright Hewitt Oct 29, 2020

Show notes

Ever wondered how to help a grieving friend, what to do for a widowed neighbor or what unfolds in the days after a life-changing loss?
Today's guest became a widow at 30 after her husband, Tim Bright, lost his five-year fight with colon cancer. And that's not even half her story.
In 2010, Jenny Bright Hewitt took on the role of advocate, partner, caretaker, fundraiser and new wife at once. Together Tim and Jenny led the Bright Life Foundation, raising nearly $250,000 for cancer research and building a community of awareness and support.
Tim's death was surprisingly unexpected, given that he had "outlived his expiration date" by three years. Jenny was left with a broken heart and a blank slate; it was an honor to hear how her community came alongside her in the years ahead.
Jenny and her second husband, Craig, say their daughter will always know who Tim is. Tackling widowhood, dating, remarriage, motherhood and miscarriage, Jenny retains a deep gratitude and defining sense of humor.
You'll walk away moved by the ways Jenny's friends and family supported her - and a few "what not to do" moments she survived too.
To honor Tim's legacy, Jenny encourages you to support the work of the Institute for Translational Oncology Research (ITOR) at ghs.org/itor and learn the signs of colorectal cancer at ccalliance.org/screening-prevention.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

We Never Let Fear Hold Us Back: Leo's Story Oct 22, 2020

Show notes

After a textbook pregnancy, Meredith Bugenske learned her newborn son had a life-limiting, incurable condition called SMA type 1. When her community began fundraising to provide baby Leo with an accessible van, Meredith hesitated; doctors didn't expect him to live long enough to make use of It.
Despite his team's initial prognosis, Leo will be seven in less than two weeks. With the help of his family's advocacy and his mastery of eye-tracking technology, Leo is now a wise-cracking first grader and older brother times two. He loves long runs, being captain of the Chapin High cross country team, and navigating to Netflix on his tablet.
That first fundraiser for the baby with an uncertain future grew into a foundation, one that has provides accessible transportation for families with special needs and inclusive play places for everyone to enjoy.
In today's episode, Meredith shares her family's story, including how her family grew despite the looming possibility of a genetic disorder. She encourages us to find the joy in whatever we face, admits that the slow pace of 2020 has been more sweet than bitter, and urges communities to open their minds, classrooms and playgrounds to children of every type.
Learn more about the upcoming virtual and in-person race benefiting Leo's Pride by visiting leospride.org/go-leo-go, fb.com/leospridefoundation, or @leospridefoundation on Instagram.
As always, you can join the conversation at @butnotallatonce or email me directly at butnotallatonce@gmail.com.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

When the Bottom Falls Out: A Break-Up and Life Change Pep Talk Oct 07, 2020

Show notes

This week we learned that there are more twenty-something But Not All At Once listeners than we knew. (Welcome, sparkly little youths!) Two days ago, one wrote in asking for advice, words of wisdom, or general encouragement for her, a 23-year-old grieving the end of a six-year relationship.
I took her requests to our Instagram community, who offered far more than we could have hoped! Words of experience, hope, understanding and big truths. Thoughts that may encourage you whether you're facing a break-up, the end of a friendship, the loss of your job, or any other crap-tastic life change you didn't see coming.
You're a smart, big-hearted group of humans. Thanks for showing up for one of our own, and I hope it's helpful even if you aren't "Elizabeth." (That's not her real name, I promise.)

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Pregnant Without A Pulse: Mandy Poole's Miracle Oct 01, 2020

Show notes

In February, Mandy Poole shared a story that shocked, broke and warmed our hearts. Next week it gets a new chapter: another (unexpected) open heart surgery.
It started on a quiet night watching football at home several years ago. Stephen returned from the grill to find Mandy, a 32-year-old NICU nurse in her first trimester, unresponsive on the couch beside their two children. Stephen's quick thinking, prayers, and 11 exhausting minutes of CPR kept his wife and their unborn son alive.
Today, it's the rest of us who can offer our prayers and support as another chapter of their "rollercoaster ride" unfolds. To read a more in-depth update on her upcoming surgery and stay at the Cleveland Clinic, visit poolios.blogspot.com.
For Mandy, every day is a wonder - even the hard ones. I hope our conversation opens your eyes too to the simple joys of the mundane.
She and her youngest, Owen, are hands-down, no-questions-asked miracles. To equip yourself with the CPR skills that saved Mandy's life, visit cpr.heart.org.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Mercy, Will We Overcome This? Sep 24, 2020

Show notes

These are special times - if "special" is a preposterously watered-down euphemism. Headlines, heartbreak, ceaselessly-updating statistics flying at us from every which way...it's no wonder that we find ourselves in need of a pep talk.
Please enjoy a stream-of-consciousness window into my mind as I try to "lift up my eyes" by quoting the music of my youth (namely Dave Matthews), Scripture, Margaret Mead, my grandmother, and probably yours too.
We can all look up. Keep our eyes on our (minimal, truly-our-responsibility) priorities, focus on changing only what's ours to change, making room in our addled brains, and finding joy in the big and small things we may overlook amidst the three-ring circus that is 2020.
I love you for listening, for surviving this year alongside me, and for avoiding judgment when I quote the red letters of the New Testament within an episode where I also reference 1995's Romeo + Juliet and the tank-top-wearing man who earned a death stare from me last night.
This week's episode, like 2020 A.D. itself, is a rollercoaster ride. Thanks for being buckled in right beside me. xoxo
“And He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.)”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭6:31
“‘Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?’ And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:36-39‬
“If therefore your whole body is full of light, with no dark part in it, it will be wholly illumined, as when the lamp illumines you with its rays.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭11:36‬
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
-Margaret Mead
"Don’t be ugly.”
-admonishment from every Southern grandmother when you’re acting like a jerk
"Mercy, will we overcome this? One by one, can we turn it around? Maybe carry on a little bit longer...”
-David J. Matthews, lyricist who inspired my Y2K daily email list before email newsletters were even a thing
(Awful crying sound.)
-Claire at the end of “Romeo + Juliet”
“Too good for me, huh? Won’t even look here?”
-Man who yelled at me on my sanity walk yesterday, but I’m totally over it and don’t bring it up at all in this episode
“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
-Bradley Smith, whose advice I should really take

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

We Are What We Value: Public Education in a Pandemic Sep 17, 2020

Show notes

I've heard you never know the strength of a woman, much like a tea bag, until she's in hot water. In the case of public schools, I'd say the "hot water" is a pandemic. And here we are, making tea.
Today Catherine Schumacher, a parent of two Greenville County Schools students and CEO of Public Education Partners, discusses why public education matters regardless of whether you are homeschooling, sending your children to private school, or don't have children yourself. She offers insight into how equity yields achievement, that there are no "bad kids," and what makes a system as large as this work smoothly.
Through a lens of hope, Catherine reminds us that when the stakes are high, even a big ship can change course quickly. She shares how we can support teachers without creepily learning each of their addresses for a nationwide sweet tea porch drop, and warns why Facebook's comments section isn't the place to become more informed about policy - or anything else.
So pop in your ear buds, take off your mask and listen for references to Harry and Meghan (obviously), breakfast food and the Smith E-Learning Academy dress code ("just dress"). Then come back to chat with us next week!
To learn more, visit pepgc.org or find @pepgreenville on social media.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Adding State Senate to An Already-Full Plate with Kathryn Whitaker Sep 10, 2020

Show notes

Meet Kathryn Whitaker, a wife and working mom who reads the same headlines and faces the same daily struggles most of us do. In perhaps the busiest season of a woman's life, and definitely the weirdest year any of us has faced, Kathryn has added a new challenge to her plate: running for South Carolina Senate.
But Not All At Once hasn't become a political podcast; this isn't a stump speech. Instead, I'm here to ask the hard-hitting questions like: Huh? Why now? And most of all, with two children and a full-time job, how?
Kathryn reminds us of the value of supportive family, the power of discourse even when we disagree, and the importance of delegating. She and I also discuss the not-running-for-Senate level baby steps we can take to shape our communities for the better.
Whether you're in Kathryn's Lowcountry district or not, you can keep an eye on her campaign at KathrynforSenate.com or @kathrynforsenate on Instagram.
Wherever you live, check on your voter registration status and get 2020 voting details at usa.gov/register-to-vote or scvotes.org here in South Carolina.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

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