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Brave Love Great Sex – Couples Therapy Podcast — Health
Brave Love Great Sex – Couples Therapy Podcast

Couples podcast to help committed couples keep it hot! Find hope to keep your marriage and committed relationships emotionally connected and sexually erotic. Certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson is joined by global leader in couples therapy – George Faller, LMFT for an expert, frank and fascinating conversation about sex, love, therapy, relationship dynamics, healthy couples and marriage. We discuss everything from best sexual techniques and solving sexual problems, to building the emotional intimacy necessary for great sex in your relationship! Two therapists bring you sound, concrete tools to reframe your relationship problems and learn how to fall in-love again, rebuild trust, and feel desire. Subscribe to us today!

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Latest Episodes:

319: Cracking the Nut - How to Breakthrough the Hard Shell Around Your Partner Jan 21, 2022

Show notes

Are you tired of having the same fight over and over? Would you like to discuss things without triggering your partner. Can you imagine that underneath your partner's defense lies a hurt and even below that a need? George tries to help make it simple, in a nutshell there are three parts to how we react in a conflict - our protection, our hurt, and our need Together Laurie and George make sense of defensiveness and role play a different way to reach each other. Please find the best lubricant on the market @ Uberlube.com/Foreplay for 10% off!!!

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318: Desire After the Wedding Cake – Is Marriage An Anti-Aphrodisiac? Jan 14, 2022

Show notes

What happens to sexual desire after marriage?

Everything can change! Men are usually sexually consistent throughout the dating process and marriage. Women, on the other hand, are statistically more likely to switch from sultry to celibate after the wedding cake digests. Even women who were sexually engaged throughout the dating process can fizzle out once they embrace married life.

For husbands, the switch can be confusing, and so in this episode, we will try to iron out a bit of that confusion by digging into what it is about marriage that dampens sexual desire.

Research concludes that in dating and early partnership, what secures a woman emotionally is male sexual desire.

Women rely on this primal sense from men that creates a feeling of being wanted. As far-fetched as it sounds, in early partnership, the man’s relative emotional availability is not meaningful in making her feel secure. What makes her feel secure is his sexual desire for her. In short, male desire drives female desire, but unfortunately, desire also has enemies.

While it’s easy to blame marriage, the byproducts of marriage–time and togetherness–are the real villains.

Listen as we talk about the real reasons for the shift in desire after marriage!

“Being desired is the best sexual orgasm for women.” – Meredith Chivers, Canadian sex researcher

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317: What Does An Orgasm Feel Like? Tips for Talking About the Big 'O' Jan 07, 2022

Show notes

What does your orgasm feel like? An orgasm is so powerful – It’s almost indescribable!

In this episode we talk about how to put words to it! And give you tips on how to talk about orgasms with your partner. Laurie and George also open up about what their own experiences are like… Practicing what we preach – VULNERABILITY!

If your partner asked you to describe how an orgasm feels in your body, could you do it? Would you do it?

It's difficult to find the words to describe the feeling and to explain what the body experiences during sex. Sex is, after all, a non-verbal language. However, that doesn't mean we should resign to remaining non-verbal about sex. Working through the discomfort of such an intimate conversation can improve the quality of our sexual encounters and, subsequently, our romantic connections.

If you're ready to talk about the big O, we have 5 open-ended questions you can use to keep the conversation flowing smoothly while improving the emotional connection you have with your partner.

The conversation isn't meant to put pressure on either of you. The ultimate goal of sex is pleasure and connection, not orgasm. Instead, it's intended to open the door to communication. It's a way to explore how orgasms work and don't work while encouraging intimacy. As the saying goes, "communication is lubrication."

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316: How and Why to Talk About Our Sexual Past Dec 31, 2021

Show notes

A person’s sexual history is profoundly revealing.

Those who have attempted to discuss sexual histories with their lover know the conversation can elicit different emotional reactions. It can be awkward to ask your partner about their past or have your partner ask you about your sexual past, but the outcome of braving such a conversation is stronger intimacy.

Join George and Laurie as they get beyond numbers and into curious questions. Find success in discussing sexual histories, learn about your partner's accelerators and brakes.

Caveat: use caution if your partner is a jealous person.

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315: Closing The Orgasm Gap Dec 24, 2021

Show notes

Not fair. Women have less orgasms than men; Laurie and George talk about the disturbing stats. Why is this happening? Do men still not know how a woman gets aroused and reaches orgasm? Are we as parents and a culture teaching young women and men about what a female bodies might need? Women are socialized to give instead of to get. And men are more shaped to get what they need. George volunteers that women also need "fairplay" not just foreplay.

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314: Pain Points – How To Heal Attachment Injuries Together Dec 17, 2021

Show notes

How do we heal the pain created by reaching for our person and finding they aren’t there? We’ve all experienced hurt and disappointment in relationships. When a healthy attachment is present, the pain is acknowledged, and you move past it together. However, when there’s an attachment injury, the process of moving forward is blocked...

Dr. Sue Johnson defines an attachment injury as a “feeling of betrayal or abandonment during a critical time of need.” If our lover isn’t there for us in those moments or doesn’t show up, it’s incredibly painful, and our bodies are smart enough to avoid future pain.

The pain we experience in these moments is sent to our limbic system. In response, our limbic system releases stress hormones, alerts our amygdala to danger, and embeds a message in the hippocampus that says, “Do not depend on this person again.”

The good news is that it’s never too late to heal an attachment injury! The body and the brain stand outside of time. Our bodies hold memories, and we can go back to them and heal them now. While you can’t change what happened, you can change how you feel about what happened, which can change everything.

Let’s talk about HOW to heal these attachment wounds… together.

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313: Are You A Good Kisser? Dec 10, 2021

Show notes

Let’s talk about all things smooches! Types of kissing, “good” and “bad” kissers, what a kiss means to you…

Labeling someone as a “good” kisser implies a one-size-fits-all technique, but in reality, we don’t have good and bad; we have compatible and non-compatible kissers. Kissing is a matter of preference, attraction, attunement to your partner, and perhaps even genetics.

Once we become sexually active, we often throw kissing into the foreplay category and give it little thought, but kissing can be the end game. Kissing doesn’t always have to lead to sex! Kissing can be exciting, and my challenge to you is to let it stand alone. Spend a day making out with your partner and explore how that feels together!

Communication is, not surprisingly, key when it comes to kissing.

Does your partner prefer wet kisses or dry kisses? A hot and heavy makeout or soft and slow caress? Do you like to be touched while kissed? Where and how?

The bottom line is that you don’t know what your partner wants and they don’t know what you want unless you talk about it. When we explore kissing with our partner, we learn to dance together, and we learn to enjoy the kiss!

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312: Forbidden Dark Places – Shame & The Sexual Cycle Dec 03, 2021

Show notes

Shame and disgust are heavy words that inhabit dark places, but we can't avoid dark places if we want to experience the highs a relationship can provide emotionally and sexually.

The power of shame is in secrecy. We don't want to show our shame. We don't want to be rejected, so we lock away parts of ourselves and pray that no one sees us. The irony is that the antidote to shame is connection and empathy, gifts we can only receive when we allow others to see us.

Within the sexual cycle, shame takes many forms. We might feel shame over what we've done, over things that have been done to us, or over our desires and fantasies. Many feelings of shame and disgust are rooted in our childhoods (or trauma).

If one partner brings up a new sex act and their partner has a huge reaction of disgust, it can create deep shame for simply bringing it up or even disgust at one's self for having "such" ideas, further fueling the shame cycle.

So how do we close the gap and find attunement within this mismatched experience? The answer is communication.

Listen as Laurie and George roleplay and show you how to have these conversations with your partner – with safety.

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311: All The Feels – Sharing 5 Primary Emotions with Your Partner Nov 26, 2021

Show notes

Let's talk about five primary emotions: joy, fear, anger, sadness, shame, and disgust – feeling all of them is important, especially with your partner. Emotions are the language of the body. They say, "pay attention, something's happening!" But so often we don't pay attention, choosing, consciously or unconsciously, to disconnect...

We may have been raised in homes where anger was expressed in an unhealthy way, joy covered by a wet blanket, or shame used to control and manipulate our behavior. Regardless of how our childhoods taught us to relate to emotions, we can rewrite the script by creating healthy emotional attachments and responses.

While there are many tools we can use to do that, in this episode we're going to talk about co-regulation and co-creation ("CoCo.") And learn how to share and navigate emotions together.

If your loved one is excited, you match their excitement. If your loved one is angry, you honor their anger. Co-regulation is not co-dependency. Co-regulation does not say, "I feel happy only if you're happy." It says, "You feel happy, and I'm happy for you." Co-regulation allows the witness to be there for their partner while also honoring their own emotions.

Most of the time, people don't understand the emotion they're in, and they need someone to support them in a curious and non-judgemental way. Co-creation allows partners to act as witnesses for each other. By asking questions and being present, the witness can help the emoter explore and deepen their understanding of their feelings.

Listen to learn how to apply 'CoCo' to your relationship and create positive shifts in your emotional and sexual cycles!

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310: The 3 Roads of Connection – Is Your Relationship On the Right Path? Nov 19, 2021

Show notes

Let's use the 3 road analogy to discuss the sexual and emotional cycles: the High, Middle, and Low Roads. Research highlights the importance of navigating all three roads for relationship success. The question is, how do we navigate them?

We’re putting all the pieces together in an exercise that will challenge your relationship and open the door to communication.

Balancing the High, Middle, and Low Roads within your relationship will require a conversation that isn’t for the faint of heart. In your relationship, attempting such a pointed conversation will probably come naturally if you are the Emotional Pursuer.

If you’re a Withdrawer, channel your inner Simon Cowell while expressing what you need to feel safe within the conversation. After all, clarity is kindness.

Listen to hear our 5 exercises that will engage you and your partner, and explore how each of you show up in the relationship!

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