Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson - Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Latest Episodes:

Attachment Theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy with Dr. Sue Johnson May 15, 2023

Show notes

Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how insights from attachment theory can transform our relationships. They discuss how attachment theory provides a map for understanding relationships, the challenges of making skills learned in therapy stick, and the role of vulnerability in creating authentic and fulfilling relationships. In this episode you'll learn how to use insights from attachment theory and EFT to create secure and emotionally healthy relationships.

About our Guest: Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, and the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a widely used and respected approach to couples therapy. She is considered one of the foremost experts in the field of attachment, and hKey Topics:

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Why Sue created Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)

8:55: Relationships as bonds, not bargains

12:20: Attachment theory as a “map,” and getting skills to stick

16:50: What it feels like to be in a bonding conversation

26:15: Validating vulnerabilities and “finding the raw spot”

31:35: Changing the way you relate to yourself

36:20: EFT vs. Internal Family Systems

38:40: “The Amygdala Whisperer,” and creating a new experience

40:35: Inherent goodness, and naming helplessness

45:40: Communicating how much you value others

51:50: Individualism, and getting comfortable with vulnerability

59:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off.

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Mailbag: Power in Relationships, Self-Worth, Motivation, and Personal Responsibility May 08, 2023

Show notes

Forrest and Dr. Rick dive into the mailbag to answer questions from listeners. They explore age gaps in relationships, relating to people as ongoing processes, and avoiding having your personal growth practice turn you into a doormat. You’ll learn how to develop authentic self-worth, how to allow both “positive” and “negative” motivations to pull you in a good direction, and how to balance determinism with personal responsibility. The episode closes with a question about supporting people trapped in dysfunctional family systems.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Question 1: I feel like my personal growth practice is causing others to take advantage of me. What can I do?

8:55: Question 2: Do age gaps in relationships matter?

19:55: Relating to others as ongoing processes

22:40: Question 3: Given all the things we don’t control, how responsible is anyone for their behavior?

28:30: Thinking in terms of plausible ranges of outcomes

33:20: Question 4: How can I learn to accept myself and improve my self-worth?

41:50: Question 5: I can’t tell if I’m motivated by “good” desires…or just my fear of never measuring up.

49:00: What comes along with challenging experiences

54:15: Question 6: How can an older sibling help a younger sibling in a dysfunctional family system?

1:04:50: Recap

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How to Create Massive Change with Dr. Benjamin Hardy May 01, 2023

Show notes

Forrest Hanson welcomes Dr. Benjamin Hardy to explore how we can create massive change by applying "10x thinking.” This mindset involves embracing a radically different version of ourselves and our lives, and they share how we can apply it to our daily lives, learn to act from our future selves, and move past defensiveness and fear. You’ll learn how our past and future selves are with us in the present, how fixating on authenticity can hinder our growth, and how to break free from old patterns and create a more fulfilling life.

About our Guest: Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist and author of 8 books, including Personality Isn’t Permanent, Willpower Doesn’t Work, and his newest book 10x is Easier Than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More by Doing Less.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:20: Linear vs. 10x thinking and the 80/20 principle

4:30: Having an honesty filter, and making transformational change

6:15: Using the 80/20 principle to act in alignment with your future self

10:45: Agency as the belief in possibility

14:30: The inherent discomfort of orienting to a positive future

17:55: Psychological sunk costs

19:40: How believing in a “core self” holds us back

24:50: What helps us break through defensiveness and fear of failure

29:10: The present shapes the meaning of the past, and why that’s useful

35:10: Developing a coherent narrative and creating space to transform

37:45: Recognizing the cost of not changing, and future awareness creating fulfilment

43:55: The present as simply the present

46:50: “After the Ecstasy, The Laundry”, and 10x thinking being counterintuitive

48:55: Practical steps to engage in a 10x process of thinking

55:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

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Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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Learning from Nature with Mark Coleman Apr 24, 2023

Show notes

Buddhist teacher Mark Coleman joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to share how we can learn from nature and incorporate it into our practice. Mark shares his insights and experiences from years of leading wilderness retreats, and explains how reconnecting with the natural world can deepen mindfulness and enhance our well-being. You’ll learn specific meditative practices, how to bring the outside inside, the power of our “wild” aspects, and how we can move from being in nature to simply being nature.

About our Guest: Mark Coleman is a senior meditation teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in northern California, and the founder of Awake in the Wild, an organization that runs programs focused on immersing people in the natural world. He’s also the author of four books, including From Suffering to Peace: The True Promise of Mindfulness and his newest book A Field Guide to Nature Meditation: 52 Mindfulness Practices for Joy, Wisdom and Wonder.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: What drew Mark to practice in nature

5:15: Being drawn outward by meditation

9:20: Access to nature, and “bougie-fication”

15:15: Novelty, acclimation, and quieting the “self”

20:25: The brutal side of nature, and uncertainty

25:05: Reciprocity and relationship

28:05: From appreciating nature to being nature

30:15: Searching for a place vs. searching for a feeling

35:50: What meditating in nature looks like in practice

41:40: Bringing the benefits of practice to the mundane

45:05: “A bunch of tame monkeys”

49:15: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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Releasing Obsessive Thoughts: Rumination, OCD, and Dealing with Fear Apr 17, 2023

Show notes

Forrest and Dr. Rick delve into a frequently requested topic: how we can let go of obsessive and intrusive thoughts. They explore why we get trapped in certain thoughts, the negative effects of rumination, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). They also discuss facing our fears, which allows us to get close enough to a problem that we can do something about it…without getting so close that we become overwhelmed by it.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: What is rumination?

5:00: Why we get stuck in certain thoughts

8:10: Two kinds of obsessive thoughts

11:00: The brains attempt to problem solve

13:40: Assessing a hypothetical client

20:15: We all have weird thoughts

22:35: Reality testing, naming thoughts and not feeding them

25:20: "Completing the gestalt"

31:40: Rick completing a gestalt on psychedelics

33:45: Balancing closeness and distance

39:45: Exaggerating the obsession vs. thought suppression

42:35: Widening your view and surrendering to the worst

44:50: The intrinsic emptiness of a ruminative thought

48:10: Another hypothetical case study

56:10: Doing good in the world as an antidote

59:30: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

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Cognitive Bypassing: How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life Apr 10, 2023

Show notes

Cognitive bypassing occurs when we overthink to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions like sadness, fear, or anger. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick share their personal experiences with cognitive bypassing, and explore how we can step out of our heads, get in touch with our emotions, and live a more fulfilling life. You'll learn why people can't just "feel their feelings," the function of cognitive bypassing, how we can use cognition to create space for our emotions, and practical tools for connecting with the non-cognitive aspects of our experience.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: What is cognitive bypassing?

3:05: How cognitive bypassing comes up in therapy

6:10: The function of cognitive bypassing

11:10: Does insight lead to action?

18:45: “Feel your feelings” vs. self-actualizing

24:50: Leveraging your cognition to create space from your feelings

30:00: Body sensations and self-compassion

33:15: Relating to others

38:55: Practical steps to being in touch with yourself

42:20: Intensity, valence, and opening to empathy

45:15: Rigidity and resistance

50:00: The range of possibilities within your constraints

56:35: Recap

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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ADHD 2.0: Debunking Misconceptions, Revealing Hidden Strengths, and Effective Treatments w/ Dr. John Ratey Apr 03, 2023

Show notes

ADHD is often misunderstood as a simple "lack of attention." But in this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by ADHD pioneer Dr. John Ratey to explore the true nature of this complex condition. They debunk common misconceptions, explore how ADHD works in the brain, and discuss its surprising strengths and vulnerabilities. You’ll learn how to thrive with ADHD by applying effective interventions, including social connection, mindfulness practice, medication, and exercise.

About our Guest: Dr. John Ratey is associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of eleven books including Spark and the Driven to Distraction series with Dr. Ned Hallowell. Their newest book in the series is the fantastic ADHD 2.0

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Some of the biggest misconceptions about ADHD

3:35: The advantages of having ADHD

5:55: De-pathologizing, skillful means, and the problem of “fit”

9:25: The variety of presentations

12:10: A trait, not a disorder

13:55: The task-positive network, and the default mode network

18:20: Three ways to turn off the default mode network

22:20: The importance of social connection

25:35: Feeling like an outsider, and being punished for having ADHD

28:45: Deliberate internalization of beneficial experiences

31:40: Why exercise and movement is particularly useful for ADHD

34:45: Dance as an ideal form of exercise

39:50: Jump rope, and right amount of exercise

41:15: Nature and the afflictions of civilization

44:25: Medication

51:15: Recap

Rumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off!

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How to Become Psychologically Flexible (from two formerly rigid people) Mar 27, 2023

Show notes

Join Forrest and Dr. Rick, two “reformed rigid people,” as they explore how to become more psychologically flexible. Just as physical flexibility is the amount of stretch in our muscles, the ability they have to bend without breaking, psychological flexibility is the same quality in our minds. It enables us to approach situations from new perspectives, be open to our emotions, let go of old versions of ourselves, and step into new ways of being.

In this episode, they discuss the concept of rigidity as a form of psychological defense and explore the motivations behind it. They also delve into the trap of assumptions and limiting beliefs, the importance of releasing attachments, and the benefits of embracing new ways of thinking.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:35: Choice, and the tradeoff between flexibility and speed

2:55: Rigidity, agency, and flexibility in relationship

7:50: Behavioral vs. psychological choices

10:30: The dock and the river, and self-protection

15:40: Inflexibility as a means to an end

17:30 Tools to inquire into your rigidities

20:50: When others’ behavior isn’t about you

23:20: Assumptions and limiting beliefs

27:35: Willingness to change, and comfort in feeling change

34:10: Releasing attachment to your ‘place’

39:50: Understanding the function of your rigidity

41:35: Over-identification with goals and accomplishments

44:40: Stepping into the river

45:20: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

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Complex PTSD and Learning to Live With the Past with Stephanie Foo Mar 20, 2023

Show notes

Author Stephanie Foo joins Forrest to share her journey with Complex PTSD. They talk about what it was like to receive a diagnosis, the various techniques and modalities she used (and what really helped), the importance of social support, self-acceptance and self-compassion, difficulties with access and cultural competence in the mental healthcare system, intergenerational trauma, and motherhood.

About Our Guest: Stephanie is a writer and radio producer whose work has been featured on This American Life, 99% Invisible, and Radiolab among other shows, and she’s the author of the truly wonderful book What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and disclaimer

2:10: Stephanie’s experience in sharing her story

6:00: Features of CPTSD

7:50: What led Stephanie to seek help, and work as a coping mechanism

10:15: “The Dread” and healing through relationship

17:40: The effects of receiving diagnosis, and aspects of CPTSD that are helpful

25:45: Practices that helped Stephanie and incorporating them practically

33:45: Balancing showing up for other people and receiving care

35:15: Self-love, gratitude, psychedelics, and relationships

38:20: Two way repair and comfort receiving feedback

42:55: The need for reform to our mental healthcare system and who it serves

49:55: Societal trauma among first generation immigrants

53:30: More natural and communal frameworks for healing

54:30: Parenthood

57:00: Resources available on Stephanie’s website

58:15: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Unconscious Mind: How to Access, Understand, and Use It Mar 13, 2023

Show notes

Most of what's occurring in the mind lies outside our awareness. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore the unconscious mind and the material we might find there. They talk about what the unconscious mind is, the purpose of the unconscious, repression, bias, and what we can do to access, use, and release that unconscious material.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:25: What is the unconscious mind?

5:35: Why material gets moved to our unconscious mind

8:45: Freud, Jung, and repression

14:25: Looking at repression through a developmental model

18:55: Bias, relational ‘scripts’, and what we can do about unconscious patterns

21:45: Interpreting dreams, and the limits of science

27:55: Examples of repressed material and how to uncover it

30:05: Rick’s first love story

34:20: Emotional release work you can do without a therapist

38:00: Distress tolerance

42:10: The body-based, non-cognitive nature of unconscious material

44:10: Sentence completions, automatic writing, and sand trays

47:00: Building self-worth, and creating a safe container

54:50: Teaching what you need to learn, and the importance of support

57:30: Including what’s left out

1:00:00: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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