Become New with John Ortberg

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25. Stop Condemning, Just Listen Mar 02, 2026

Show notes

John Ortberg builds on a surprising Lenten invitation echoed even by the Pope: fast from harsh words. Disarm your language. Refuse contempt.
John revisits what condemnation actually is — not discernment, not moral clarity — but a toxic mix of malice (ill will) and disgust (repulsion) toward another person.
Then he offers one simple, powerful practice that makes condemnation nearly impossible while you’re doing it:
Listen.
Drawing from Scripture, including Acts 7 (where Stephen’s accusers literally cover their ears), and insights from The Lost Art of Listening by Michael Nichols and Martha Straus, John explores why we overestimate our listening ability — and why the higher our emotions run, the less we tend to listen.
It turns out it’s very difficult to listen deeply and condemn someone at the same time.
James writes, “Be quick to listen.”
That might be the most subversive spiritual discipline of our time.
Because curiosity softens judgment.Listening interrupts contempt.And blessing grows where condemnation used to live.
There is now… therefore… no condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
The Lost Art of Listening by Michael P. Nichols and Martha B. Straus
Leo XIV, “Listening and Fasting: Lent as a Time of Conversion,” 13 Feb 2026
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24. The Fence They Couldn’t Get Over Feb 27, 2026

Show notes

Condemnation comes easily when we quietly assume we earned where we stand.
In this episode, John explores two truths that change everything about how we see other people: we do not know their full story — and we do not know their future.
Drawing on Psalm 103 and the classic film Angels with Dirty Faces, John tells the story of two boys who run from the police. One clears a fence. One doesn’t. That single moment sends their lives in opposite directions. Years later, one is a priest. One is a criminal.
How much of what we call character was shaped by circumstances we did not choose?
You’ll discover:
- Why condemnation assumes too much
- What Psalm 103 means when it says “we are dust”
- How curiosity disarms contempt
- Why only God sees the whole arc of a life
- How to bless someone you’re tempted to judge
John closes by inviting you to bring to mind the person you’re most tempted to hold in contempt — and to pray for them instead.
Because there is now no condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
Angels with Dirty Faces starring James Cagney and Pat O'Brien
Tim Keller — reflection on the film in The Reason for God
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23. Les Misérables, Condemnation, and Grace Feb 26, 2026

Show notes

Today, John Ortberg uses Les Misérables by Victor Hugo to explore two ways of living:
• the condemning life (Javert)
• the blessing life (the Bishop)
• and the transformed life (Jean Valjean)
Drawing on Romans 8, 2 Corinthians 3, and insights from Dallas Willard, John explains:
- why condemnation feels powerful
- what the “ministry of condemnation” really does
- how grace humiliates before it heals
- why pride resists light
- how blessing rewires the soul
Through the unforgettable moment of the candlesticks, we see how self-giving love defeats condemnation. One man bends the knee and is transformed. One refuses grace and collapses under its weight.
“To love another person is to see the face of God.”
That is the blessing life.
That is the transformed life.
And there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
📚 Today's Resources:
Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

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22. The 'Status Elevation Ritual' Feb 25, 2026

Show notes

Why does condemnation feel so automatic?
In this episode, John explores how shame and judgment often operate through what sociologists call status degradation rituals, the subtle ways we lower others to elevate ourselves.
Drawing on insights from Harold Garfinkel, John shows how condemnation works socially, emotionally, and spiritually. Then he walks us through powerful Gospel moments where Jesus reverses the pattern:
• the sinful woman at Simon’s house
• the prodigal son welcomed home
• Jesus washing his disciples’ feet
• and ultimately, the cross itself
You’ll learn:
- how condemnation functions as a social ritual
- why Jesus chooses downward mobility
- how humility defeats hostility
- what Philippians 2 reveals about real greatness
- how serving others rewires the heart
John also reflects on how crucifixion was designed by Rome as the ultimate humiliation — and how Jesus voluntarily enters that suffering to defeat condemnation once and for all.
The invitation is simple and brave:
come to Jesus in humility,
serve instead of shame,
and help elevate the people around you.
Because there really is now no condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
Harold Garfinkel — Status degradation rituals
N. T. Wright — On crucifixion as Rome’s ultimate humiliation tool
Early Christian graffiti (mocking Jesus on the cross) as historical illustration
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21. How to Know If You Have a Condemning Spirit Feb 24, 2026

Show notes

Why does condemnation feel so automatic?
In this episode, John Ortberg invites us to slow down, breathe, and notice something surprising: judgment doesn’t just live in our thoughts — it lives in our bodies.
Returning to the story of Cain and Abel, John shows how God interrupts Cain with two gentle questions:
- Why are you angry?
- Why is your face downcast?
Those questions open a doorway to freedom.
Drawing on neuroscience from Jill Bolte Taylor and Antonio Damasio, John explains how condemnation becomes embodied through stress hormones, muscle tension, and emotional rehearsal. He introduces the difference between decisional non-condemnation (“I choose not to judge”) and emotional non-condemnation (asking God to transform what happens inside your body).
You’ll learn:
• why condemnation feels physical
• how the 90-second pause works
• what it means to “feed the monster”
• how blessing rewires your reactions
• why you can disagree without condemning
John also shares painfully honest examples of everyday judgment (hair gel, Tesla drivers, passive people — we’ve all been there 😅) and offers a freeing realization: you don’t have to condemn anyone. Only God knows anyone’s full story.
Jesus was right all along:
Blessing is easier than contempt.
Love is lighter than judgment.
And there really is now no condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
Jill Bolte Taylor — research on the 90-second emotional rule
Antonio Damasio — distinction between feelings and embodied emotions
Everett Worthington — decisional vs emotional forgiveness (adapted here to condemnation)
Better Angels — assessment questions addressing the culture of contempt
George Carlin — illustration of the universal judging reflex (“everyone’s an idiot or a maniac”)
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20. The Right Way to Tell Someone They're Wrong Feb 23, 2026

Show notes

How do you tell someone they’re wrong… without condemning them?
John Ortberg explores one of the most important distinctions in communication: the difference between tone and heart. Tone can be soothing or jarring. But the heart must always be love.
Looking at Matthew 23, where Jesus confronts religious leaders with blistering language, John asks: Was Jesus condemning them? Or was something deeper happening?
You’ll discover:
- Why condemnation is not the same as moral clarity
- The difference between contempt and courage
- What “malice + disgust” really means
- Why Jesus compares himself to a mother hen
- How to speak the truth in love without losing your soul
Drawing from Romans 8, Matthew 23, Luke 19, and a reflection by Barbara Brown Taylor, this episode offers a powerful prayer for Lent:
“God, give me the right heart. Then show me the right tone.”
If you’re navigating conflict, leadership, parenting, or hard conversations — this one matters.
Download the free NO CONDEMNATION COMMITMENT: https://bit.ly/NC-commitment
📚 Today's Resources:
Barbara Brown Taylor — reflection on the chapel Dominus Flevit and the image of the mother hen
Chapel of Dominus Flevit (“The Lord Wept”) on the Mount of Olives
Film reference: A League of Their Own (Tom Hanks coach scene — jarring tone, not necessarily a bad heart)
🙌 New episodes every weekday.
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19. Doesn’t the World Deserve Condemnation? Feb 20, 2026

Show notes

John Ortberg tackles a tension many of us feel but rarely name:
If there is no condemnation, what do we do with real evil, injustice, and wrongdoing?
John walks us through Scripture, the prophets, and Jesus’ own words to show why “no condemnation” does not mean indifference to sin—and why accountability still matters deeply to God. Drawing on insights from Abraham Joshua Heschel, John explores how the prophets saw injustice as a spiritual emergency, and why our culture’s casual attitude toward evil would have stunned them.
Along the way, he reminds us:
- God hates injustice precisely because God loves people
- Jesus was gentle with those everyone expected him to condemn
- But fierce with the religious who used righteousness to exclude others
- And that before we can hear no condemnation, we must first take condemnation seriously
- This is a thoughtful, challenging reflection on judgment, responsibility, and grace—and why condemnation may be a word, but it is never the last word.
Download the free NO CONDEMNATION COMMITMENT: https://bit.ly/NC-commitment
📚 Today's Resources:
Abraham J. Heschel, The Prophets
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18. How to Live Without Blaming Others Feb 19, 2026

Show notes

Today, John Ortberg tackles one of our most stubborn spiritual habits: blame.
Tracing its origins back to Genesis, John shows how blame enters the human story the moment shame appears—and how quickly we learn to deflect responsibility onto others. From Adam and Eve to modern relationships, blame becomes our go-to strategy for avoiding pain.
Along the way, John draws from Scripture, Paradise Lost, and insights from thinkers like Charles Tilly and Paul Tournier to explore why we instinctively hog credit and dodge fault—and why spiritual maturity looks like learning to own our part with humility and courage.
John reminds us that while removing blame can reduce shame, only love actually heals the soul. Real freedom comes not from avoiding responsibility, but from stepping into God’s presence honestly, without hiding or deflecting.
This is a thoughtful, practical invitation to live one day at a time without blaming others—and to discover again the grace that makes change possible.
Download the free NO CONDEMNATION COMMITMENT: https://bit.ly/NC-commitment
📚 Today's Resources:
John Milton, Paradise Lost
Charles Tilly, Credit and Blame
Paul Tournier, Guilt & Grace: A Psychological Study
🙌 New episodes every weekday.
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17. Stopping Condemnation Before it Starts Feb 18, 2026

Show notes

Download the free NO CONDEMNATION COMMITMENT: https://bit.ly/NC-commitment
On the first day of Lent, John Ortberg invites us into a brave and deeply personal journey: giving up condemnation...and learning how shame actually works.
This episode goes straight to the source. John traces condemnation back to its root system in shame, beginning in Genesis and moving through psychology, philosophy, trauma-informed theology, and lived experience. Along the way, he explores why our urge to judge others is often fueled by hidden pain in ourselves—and why healing starts when we stop hiding.
You’ll hear insights from:
John Walton on Genesis and chaos imagery
Warren Kinghorn on trauma and the first humans
Eleanor Stump on guilt vs. shame
Kurt Thompson on the “shame concierge” that narrates our inner lives
John makes a crucial distinction:
Guilt fears punishment and is healed by forgiveness.
Shame fears rejection and is healed only by acceptance, love, and belonging.
He introduces two invisible companions we all carry:
a shame concierge that quietly judges every moment
and a grace concierge—the Spirit—who reminds us we are God’s beloved children.
📚 Today's Resources:
The Soul of Shame — Kurt Thompson
Wandering in Darkness — Eleonore Stump
Wayfaring — Warren Kinghorn
Teachings from John Walton
🙌 New episodes every weekday.
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16. You are Always Either Blessing or Cursing Feb 17, 2026

Show notes

Download the free NO CONDEMNATION COMMITMENT: https://bit.ly/NC-commitment
Today’s episode opens with an elderly dog, detours through neuroscience and Genesis, and ends by quietly dismantling your default response to annoying people. Classic John Ortberg.
As Lent approaches, John invites us into a radical spiritual experiment: giving up condemnation. Not just blaming others, but the inner posture that withholds blessing from people (including ourselves).
Along the way, John explores:
Why the Bible’s first word is blessing, not judgment
How our emotional “like meter” secretly controls our willingness to bless
Insights from Jonathan Haidt on moral emotion
The famous 90-second rule from Jill Bolte Taylor for interrupting reactive spirals
And why disgust, not discernment, often fuels religious condemnation
This episode draws a crucial line between judging as discernment (wise) and judging as condemnation (corrosive). John shows how condemnation isn’t just something we think—it’s something we will. And when our will stops blessing, something in us starts breaking.
📚 Today's Resources:
The Happiness Hypothesis — Jonathan Haidt
Research on emotional regulation from Jill Bolte Taylor
Reflections on blessing in Genesis from Gordon Wenham
Teachings of Jesus on blessing enemies (Matthew 5)
🙌 New episodes every weekday.
📲 Subscribe, like, and share to help others grow spiritually. One day at a time.
Become New is here to help you grow spiritually one day at a time.
TEXT US at 855-888-0444
EMAIL US at connect@becomenew.com
GET OUR WEEKDAY EMAILS WITH EXTRA GOODIES at becomenew.com/subscribe
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