Become New with John Ortberg

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35. The Difference Between Conviction and Condemnation Mar 16, 2026

Show notes

There’s a voice in your head that never stops talking.

But not every voice deserves to be trusted.

In this episode, John Ortberg explores the difference between self-condemnation and conviction. Drawing on insights from Ignatius of Loyola, Marshall Rosenberg, and Michael Singer, John shows how comparison and inner criticism can spiral into despair.

But the voice of God works differently.

Self-condemnation attacks your identity.Conviction speaks to your actions.

Self-condemnation leads to hiding.Conviction leads to hope and change.

Learning to recognize the difference may be one of the most important spiritual skills you ever develop.

Because the voice you listen to insideis usually the voice you use with others.

There is now… therefore… no condemnation.

34. When Someone in Your Family Won’t Change... Mar 13, 2026

Show notes

How do you confront someone’s behavior without becoming condemning yourself?
In this episode, John walks through a common real-life situation — dealing with a difficult family member — and explains the three elements required for genuine change.
Drawing on insights from Henry Cloud, Dallas Willard, and research on conflict and relationships, John shows why condemnation rarely leads to transformation.
You’ll discover:
- why grace must come first
- how truth can be spoken without hostility
- why the emotional tone of a conversation matters
- the surprising role patience plays in change
- why grace + truth + time are all necessary
Real growth rarely happens overnight. But when grace, truth, and time come together, relationships can begin to change in ways condemnation never could.
Because there is now no condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
Henry Cloud — insights on the change process
Dallas Willard — interpretation of Galatians 6
The Way Out — Peter Coleman
Research from John Gottman and Barbara Fredrickson on emotional tone in conflict
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33. Is it really surprising that God loves you? Mar 12, 2026

Show notes

Is it really surprising that God loves you?
In this episode, John challenges a common assumption many Christians carry: that God’s love for us is somehow unexpected or hard for Him. But Scripture paints a different picture. Over and over again, the Bible declares something astonishingly simple — God is love.
John explores two truths we must hold together. First, we are broken and imperfect. But second, God’s very nature is love. And our brokenness cannot change who God is.
Drawing from passages like John 3, Romans 5, 1 John 4, and Ephesians 3, John explains how understanding God’s nature reshapes our lives. When we become rooted in love, condemnation begins to lose its power, and love naturally flows outward to others.
Because the deepest truth of the universe is this:
God is love.
📚 Today's Resources:
The Problem of Pain — C. S. Lewis
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32. We've Been Listening Wrong Mar 11, 2026

Show notes

What if the key to overcoming condemnation isn’t arguing better — but listening better?
In this episode, John explores Jesus’ surprising instruction in Luke 8:18: “Consider carefully how you listen.” Through the parable of the sower, Jesus explains that the condition of our hearts determines whether the words we hear bring growth or simply bounce off.
John shares a recent moment when he caught himself listening critically instead of humbly — and how a simple shift changed everything.
You’ll learn:
- why we often listen in order to judge
- the three unhealthy ways we listen
- what Jesus means by a “good and noble heart”
- how humble listening opens the door to growth
- why listening well makes condemnation harder
When we begin to listen with humility — asking what God might want to show us — conversations change. And so do we.
Because there is now no condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
Deborah Tannen, You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation
Kenneth E. Bailey, Poet & Peasant: A Literary-Cultural Approach to the Parables in Luke
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31. Becoming a Person of Blessing Mar 10, 2026

Show notes

The opposite of condemnation isn’t just restraint...it’s blessing.
In this episode, John Ortberg explores how Jesus calls us to become people who actively bless others — even those who curse us. Drawing from Scripture and insights from The Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent, John walks through five powerful ways to bless others: meaningful words, honoring value, appropriate touch, envisioning a future, and showing up with presence.
Blessing doesn’t just change others — it changes us.
Because when we bless, we live the life Jesus envisioned.
There is now… therefore… no condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
Gary Smalley & John Trent, Ph.D., The Blessing
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30. Can you be a good person and condemn others? Mar 09, 2026

Show notes

Why does condemnation feel like it’s everywhere today?
In this episode, John Ortberg explores a cultural shift: we no longer define a “good person” by love and character, but by holding the “right” opinions. The result? More judgment, more division, and less humility.
Jesus offered a different path — a life marked by compassion, forgiveness, and what Kierkegaard called “blithe humility.” Like the birds and lilies, we can release the burden of controlling the world and trust God with it.
The result is freedom, joy, and a life without condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
Søren Kierkegaard, The Lily of the Field and the Bird of the Air
Grace Hamman, Ask of Old Paths: Medieval Virtues and Vices for a Whole and Holy Life
Doug Teschner et al., Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times
🙌 New episodes every weekday.
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29. The Virtue of Self Knowledge (w/Dr. Jim Taylor) Mar 06, 2026

Show notes

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What if the antidote to condemnation isn’t trying harder to be nice… but learning to know yourself?
In this conversation, John Ortberg talks with philosopher Jim Taylor about intellectual virtue — qualities like humility, courage, and self-knowledge that help us pursue truth and love people well.
Jesus warned against condemning judgment, but he also invited us to remove the log in our own eye. The path forward begins with honest self-examination and a simple prayer:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart.”
Because when we grow in self-knowledge, condemnation loses its grip.
📚 Today's Resources:
The Blessing — Gary Smalley & John Trent
The Lost Art of Listening — Michael Nichols (with Martha Straus)
🙌 New episodes every weekday.
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28. The Six Types of Condemnation Mar 05, 2026

Show notes

You don’t condemn people… right?

Let me stop you right there.

In this episode, John Ortberg walks through six surprisingly common styles of condemnation — from the obvious (aggressive anger) to the subtle (silence, sarcasm, perfectionism, conditional acceptance, even martyrdom).

We all judge.
We all distance.
We all find creative ways to say, “I’m above you.”

Drawing on Scripture, psychology, and real-life examples (including the “Pan Am smile” and the devastating power of ridicule), John helps us name our default style — and invites the Holy Spirit to gently interrupt it.

Because condemnation doesn’t just hurt others.
It corrodes us.

And the freedom we’re after this Lent is simple and radical:

Let me stop you right there.

There is now… therefore… no condemnation.
📚 Today's Resources:
Paul Tournier, Guilt and Grace: A Psychological Study
Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

🙌 New episodes every weekday.
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27. The Law of Reciprocal Condemnation Mar 04, 2026

Show notes

There is now no condemnation...but if we’re honest, sometimes condemnation feels effective.

In this episode, John Ortberg explores what Dallas Willard called the law of reciprocal condemnation — the almost unbreakable cycle where judgment breeds counter-judgment, attack breeds counter-attack, and anger multiplies itself.
It’s extremely rare, Willard observed, that anyone who is condemned responds by changing in the desired way.
Instead, condemnation produces:
- Counter-condemnation
- Passive aggression
- Perfectionism
- Procrastination
- Rebellion
- Or quiet relational death
Jesus warned about this in the Sermon on the Mount:“As you judge, so you will be judged.”
Not as a threat from God — but as an observation about how relationships work.
So how do we break the cycle?
Paul gives a shocking alternative in Romans 12:Do not repay evil for evil.Leave room for God’s justice.Overcome evil with good.
Justice is real.But it is not ours to manage.
📚 Today's Resources:
Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy
C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm, Chiefly on Prayer
🙌 New episodes every weekday.
📲 Subscribe, like, and share to help others grow spiritually. One day at a time.
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TEXT US at 855-888-0444
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26. The Benefits of Guilt and Shame Mar 03, 2026

Show notes

In this episode, John Ortberg offers what he calls “two cheers for guilt and shame.” Drawing from the book of Judges, John explores why justice matters, why moral reality is woven into the fabric of existence, and why a world without any sense of guilt or shame would not be more humane — it would be more dangerous.
From the brutal story of Adoni-Bezek to the violent cycles of Judges, we see a profound truth emerge: no one ultimately gets away with injustice. As Jesus says in Luke 8:17, nothing hidden will remain hidden.
John traces a major turning point in human history — what C.S. Lewis called the moral law — the moment when ancient Israel connected two ideas that had often been separated:There is one God.And that God is good.
Justice is real. Accountability is real. And judgment, properly understood, is good news — especially for the oppressed.
But here’s the deeper turn:
- Guilt and shame can either crush us… or redeem us.
- Healthy guilt points out where we have done wrong so we can confess and be cleansed. Healthy shame invites us out of hiding into relationship and grace.
- And ultimately, Jesus steps into the story and absorbs the consequences we could not.
- “The wages of sin is death.”The sin is ours.The death is his.
- The cycle of Judges is broken at the cross.
Justice is upheld. Mercy is given.And condemnation does not win.
📚 Today's Resources:
Tom Holland, Dominion: How the Christian Revolution Remade the World
C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man
Tomas Sedlacek, Economics of Good and Evil: The Quest for Economic Meaning from Gilgamesh to Wall Street
Sabrina B. Little, The Examined Run: Why Good People Make Better Runners
🙌 New episodes every weekday.
📲 Subscribe, like, and share to help others grow spiritually. One day at a time.
Become New is here to help you grow spiritually one day at a time.
TEXT US at 855-888-0444
EMAIL US at connect@becomenew.com
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