Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Where Politics Meets Pop Culture

Latest Episodes:

King Charles Goes to Canada, and the Government Builds a Super Clock May 26, 2025

Show notes

Patrick Gutfield opens with a solemn tribute to the real meaning of Memorial Day—then gets back to business roasting world leaders and scientific overkill. King Charles makes a rare speech in Canada just as Trump jokes about annexing it, scientists unveil a $10 million atomic clock that’s somehow more punctual than the IRS, and archaeologists open a 2,000-year-old sarcophagus because clearly no one’s seen a mummy movie. Plus: was that ancient Roman buried with… a toiletry bag?
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
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Trump’s Salad Meltdown, a $258 Billion Surprise, and a Plane With No Pilot?! May 23, 2025

Show notes

Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week’s wildest headlines—from Trump allegedly firing a chef over Caesar salad to the U.S. government accidentally running a massive budget surplus. Plus: a Lufthansa flight flies without a pilot for ten minutes (nope, not autopilot), and the national debt becomes a cosmic concept. It’s a bumpy ride, so buckle up—and maybe keep your own salad opinions to yourself.
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
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Trump’s “Free” Jet Isn’t Free and AI Made Up Beach Reads May 22, 2025

Show notes

Trump says Qatar gave him a $400 million jet for free—except he asked for it, picked it out, and now taxpayers are footing the bill. Oh, and he’s building a $175 billion Golden Dome missile shield like this is a Bond movie. Meanwhile, two major newspapers published fake book recommendations made up by AI bots. Fake books, fake gifts, fake news—it’s all here. Hosted by Patrick Gutfield.
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

Half-Baked Outbursts, Harvard’s $27 Magna Carta, and the Kansas City BBQ Tragedy May 21, 2025

Show notes

Ben & Jerry’s co-founder gets kicked out of a Senate hearing for yelling about bombs. Meanwhile, Kansas City loses a legendary BBQ joint to—you guessed it—parking. Harvard accidentally discovers a real Magna Carta worth millions. And somehow, it all makes sense. From ice cream to ancient parchment, it’s another Monday in America.
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
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Joe Biden’s Cancer Diagnosis, Trump’s Sudden Niceness, and the Pope Gets a Bears Jersey May 20, 2025

Show notes

President Biden reveals a serious cancer diagnosis, Trump offers unexpected kindness, and Kamala calls him a fighter. But the awkward questions about Biden’s age, memory, and fitness aren’t going away—especially with new audio from his Hur interview. Meanwhile, Trump launches a bizarre crusade against Bruce Springsteen, Beyoncé, and Bono. Plus: Vice President JD Vance visits Pope Leo XIV and gifts him… a Chicago Bears jersey? Yeah, we go there.
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

Mexican Navy Ship Crashes into Brooklyn Bridge, JD Vance Meets Pope Leo, and Springsteen vs. Trump Heats Up May 19, 2025

Show notes

In today’s episode of Ballot, we dive into the surreal: a Mexican Navy training ship slams into the Brooklyn Bridge.Then it's off to the Vatican, where Vice President JD Vance attends the historic inauguration Mass of Pope Leo XIV—the first American pontiff—just four Sundays after Pope Francis called his theology "garbage." Meanwhile, New Jersey is falling apart (literally) with sinkholes, airport staffing chaos, and train strikes. And if that weren’t enough, Bruce Springsteen and Donald Trump are exchanging fire across the Atlantic. From papal politics to infrastructure meltdowns and music legend feuds, this episode has everything but the mizzen mast.
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
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Even the Pope Gets Sent to Voicemail: Papal Pranks, AI Aging, and Swamp Swims with RFK Jr. May 16, 2025

Show notes

Pope Leo XIV’s call as Supreme Pontiff goes straight to voicemail—because his brother was busy. We break down the viral sibling moment, explore a new AI that guesses your age from a selfie (sorry, Wilford Brimley), and wade into questionable waters as RFK Jr. takes his grandkids for a dip in a bacteria-infested creek. Plus: Steven Seagal's parade cameo in Russia. Yes, really.
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

Trump’s Jet Envy, World Peace via Soccer, and the $1,200 Candy Heist in London May 15, 2025

Show notes

From Trump drooling over Qatar’s marble palaces and begging for a new plane, to his latest peace proposal—letting Russia play in the World Cup if they stop the whole “war” thing—it’s been another week of global diplomacy, Trump-style. Meanwhile, we check in on “ChiefsAholic,” the NFL superfan turned bank robber, and head to London, where American candy stores are charging $1,200 for two packs of sweets and hiding behind secret Scooby-Doo panels. No, really. All that plus gold accents in the Oval, jet-size jealousy, and why British police are confiscating bootleg cereal.
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

The Pope's MAGA Brother and Other Family Dramas May 14, 2025

Show notes

Patrick Gutfield dives into the day's wildest family dynamics - from Melania Trump's fourteen-day White House attendance record to the new Pope's Trump-supporting brother who shares memes about tarring and feathering Democrats. Plus, the Army's new fitness test that makes civilians voluntarily torture themselves, and why deadlifting one hundred fifty pounds is basically just picking up your entire closet.
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

Trump's Middle East Money Tour, Netflix's Giant Leap & Disney Goes Desert May 14, 2025

Show notes

Netflix announces their biggest homepage overhaul in 12 years with AI-powered search and TikTok-style features. Disney reveals plans for their tech-forward Abu Dhabi theme park, their first new resort since Shanghai 2016. And the Golden Globes make history by adding podcast categories - could Joe Rogan win the same award as Meryl Streep?
Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.
Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!
Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!
Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

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