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Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life — Kids & Family
Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life

Parenting a tween or teen? Buckle up. Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life tackles the questions that keep parents up at night — academics, friendships, mental health, screens, meltdowns, and more.

Every week, psychologist Lisa Damour teams up with a different expert to answer a real parent’s real question — no fluff, no judgment, just practical, evidence-based advice you can actually use. Dr. Damour and her colleagues also turn their attention to the emotional rollercoaster of raising kids — the moments that leave you feeling uneasy, overwhelmed, or just plain alone.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to hit play.

Keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr. lisa damour, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Copyright: © Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Latest Episodes:

15: How Has the Pandemic Changed College Admissions? Nov 17, 2020

Show notes

High school seniors are feeling the disruption of the pandemic as they tackle the college admissions process. How do we help them manage these uncertain times while they plan the next chapter of their lives?

Special guest and New York Times bestselling author Jeff Selingo joins us to answer your questions about applying to college in a pandemic. Drawing on research from his brand new book, Who Gets In & Why: A Year Inside College Admissions, Jeff explains what he learned while embedded with three university admissions offices. How do admissions gatekeepers decide who gets in? How can applicants stand out? Are schools doing away with the SAT/ACT? How much do grades really matter? How are universities changing their approach to admissions in light of the pandemic? Jeff answers these questions and more.

For Children Everywhere - Girlstart inspires girls in STEM. Their mission is to increase girls’ interest and engagement in STEM through innovative, informal STEM education programs: www.girlstart.org

For more on Jeff Selingo, check out https://www.jeffselingo.com/

Lisa's New York Times article about taking a gap year: Getting Into College Doesn't Mean Students are Ready to Go

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast

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14: Dads & Daughters, Mothers & Sons: How Does Gender Shape Parenting? Nov 10, 2020

Show notes

How do dads differ from moms when it comes to raising kids? Lisa unpacks the research on the different roles each parent plays while pointing out that there are no hard and fast gender lines in parenting and that you don't have to be a parent to play a powerful role in a child's life. Lisa and Reena talk about the dynamics that often unfold between dads and daughters and mothers and sons, especially in the context of adolescence. What do all kids want? They want to feel valued and admired.

For Children Everywhere - Jumpstart is a national early education organization giving kids help with literacy and social-emotional programming for preschool children from under-resourced communities. It promotes quality early learning for all children: https://www.jstart.org/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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13: How Do I Motivate My Kid to Do Homework? Nov 03, 2020

Show notes

Students are finding it hard to focus on school in the midst of a pandemic. But laying a good foundation for how homework gets done is a skill that can be carried into adulthood. Lisa explains the psychological research behind two different kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Is it appropriate to reward kids for doing their work? Lisa discusses what parents can do to help kids self-motivate and stay on task.

Lisa's October column in The New York Times: How to Do School When Motivation Has Gone Missing https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/29/well/family/teenagers-motivation-school.html

For Children Everywhere - GoFundMe.org’s Covid-19 Relief Fund financially supports people impacted by the pandemic and organizations helping with relief efforts: https://www.gofundme.com/f/covid19-relief-cause-fund

Special Guest Jeff Selingo, author of “Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions,” will be joining us in an upcoming episode. Send us your college admission questions to AskLisa@DrLisaDamour.com and we'll pose them to Jeff.

Follow us on Instagram at @asklisapodcast @Lisa.Damour @ReenaNinan

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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12: What Can Kids Learn from a Tense Election? Oct 27, 2020

Show notes

How can parents help children cultivate the ability to have tough conversations? How do we teach tolerance? Lisa explains the building blocks of civil discourse and the emotional and developmental skills that help kids engage peers constructively on the charged topics of politics and race.

Laurel's Center for Research on Girls, civil discourse resources (scroll down for "Engaging in Civil Discourse" brief): https://lcrg.laurelschool.org/research/lcrg-research-briefs

For Children Everywhere - iCivics is an online resource founded in 2009 by Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor to provide free resources for civics education: https://www.icivics.org

The Rebound: Watch the first episode on how a former NFL player rebounded from police brutality. New YouTube show hosted by Reena Ninan about coming out of your worst moments: www.youtube.com/TheReboundwithReenaNinan

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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11: Where's the Line Between Being Healthy and Having an Eating Disorder? Oct 20, 2020

Show notes

Eating concerns are an issue in many families, especially during the Coronavirus pandemic. What should a parent look out for? When is it time to be concerned? And what happens in the mind of someone who struggles with an eating disorder? A new survey by WETA/PBS Newshour finds that teenagers ranked body image as their top source of concern in the pandemic - with boys expressing this worry almost as often as girls. Lisa looks at the factors exacerbating this problem: social media, the wish for control, and more.

Lisa is also featured in a virtual conversation sponsored by WETA/PBS Newshour called “Wellbeings: Teens, Covid, and Coping.” Watch at: https://wellbeings.org/

For Children Everywhere - Chef Jose Andres’ World Central Kitchen which provides food where it’s needed the most from voting polls to disaster areas: https://wck.org/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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10: How Do I Parent When I Feel Like I’m Drowning? Oct 13, 2020

Show notes

Parents are faced with new pressures under Covid-19, and many of us are barely holding it together. When does having personal struggles translate into bad parenting? While it's important to be honest with our kids, Lisa explains what’s not okay for your kids to see and experience as you are working through a difficult time. Adding to the pressure, many parents have lost their supportive networks. We no longer see other parents during school pick-up or on the sidelines of soccer games. It may be time to find our new “soccer sideline” groups. Reena also talks about her fear of winter coming in a brainstorming session about how we'll cope. Lisa explains the research on how having breaks to look forward to can help your mental health.

Lisa & Reena also announce a new weekly segment called “For Children Everywhere.” One charity will be spotlighted each week for listeners who would like to donate. This week's organization, "Women's Bean Project" is based in Lisa’s hometown of Denver, Colorado. It helps unemployed women return to the work force: https://www.womensbeanproject.com/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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9: What to Do When Kids Don’t Listen: Advice for Threenagers to Teenagers Oct 06, 2020

Show notes

What really works when kids just won’t listen? Dr. Lisa explains there are two different mental states that parents should toggle between — warm parent and robot parent. She explains how cultivating a joyful relationship with kids puts money in the account from which parents write their disciplinary checks. If you're clashing with your teen, it’s never too late to turn things around. And those raising younger kids find out why it's often harder to parent age three than age two (hint: threes enjoy mean fun).

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Charity of the Week - For Children Everywhere: https://www.childrenshopeindia.org/

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8: Apathetic, Cranky, Frustrated: Dealing with Kids' Distress About School Sep 29, 2020

Show notes

What should parents do when their kids are fed up and unhappy about school? Psychologists are witnessing the rise of emotional distress in children as they try to manage their disrupted academic year. Stress is processed in different ways by different children - some become anxious and sad, and some act out. How do you get kids to pivot from bad behavior? Dr. Lisa decodes how to identify and work through emotional distress.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Charity of the Week - For Children Everywhere: https://www.modestneeds.org/

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7: When Is Anxiety a Disorder? When Does Sadness Become Depression? Sep 22, 2020

Show notes

Anxiety often serves as a normal and useful warning system - an emotional alarm that rings when something isn't right. Lisa discusses the difference between healthy and unhealthy anxiety, and explains how anxiety changes the activity of the heart and lungs. She provides tips on how to counter anxiety by harnessing the connection between the lungs and the brain.

What is the difference between sadness and depression? When should we be concerned about the possibility of suicide? Lisa and Reena also consider common warning signs. The show ends on an upbeat note about effective psychological interventions for treating anxiety and depression.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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6: Will the Pandemic Disrupt My Kid’s Social Development? Sep 15, 2020

Show notes

When should parents hit the panic button over their child’s social development? A mom writes in about her shy, introverted teen, wondering if her daughter has enough contact with friends. What key milestones might kids be missing as a result of the coronavirus pandemic? Lisa walks us through the development of social skills from infancy through college age, describing what we should keep an eye on and what we can do at home to help kids build the skills they need.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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