Ask Christopher West

Latest Episodes:

Real Humility | ACW124 May 17, 2021

Show notes

How can I heal from pornography before entering into marriage? Do you have any advice for healing from a break up? How does Theology of the Body relate to the washing of the feet?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Patron Question:
Thank you for your podcast. I listen to your podcast weekly while I go on a run and it makes the miles fly by!
My fiance and I are getting married very soon. We have both saved sex for marriage however there is a history of pornography use before we were dating. What advice do you have for us to have a pure, holy and lust-free experience? We have both read about theology of the body and listen to your podcast but knowing and living can be very different.

Question 2:
Hi Christopher and Wendy! I LOVE your show. Listening to the way you two interact with each other is so life-giving. I started listening last year after attending the TOB virtual conference and my goal is to listen to every episode! Here's my question: what light might TOB shed on healing from a breakup? Especially if you are the one who made the choice to end it? I chose to end an almost three-year dating relationship and while I believe what I did was best for myself and him in the long run, I find myself consistently wracked with guilt and shame for how I've hurt my ex. I don't know how to let go of the fact that I've caused him a wound and even though it's been almost a year. I haven't figured out how to forgive myself. Any advice?

Qestion 3:
This year I attended Holy Thursday Mass for the first time wearing my “TOB glasses.” The Mass was so much richer! Does the Theology of the Body tie into the washing of feet?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Getting into the Weeds | ACW123 May 10, 2021

Show notes

What does the Church teach about cremation? How do we protect our children from the cultural gender ideology? How do I know I'm not getting married just to have sex?

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Patron Question:
I have heard the Catholic Church does not approve of cremated ashes being scattered or divided. If this is the case, why do we as Catholics have saints’ body parts as relics sometimes divided across the world in different locations. What is the difference here? Does the physical location of our dead body parts have anything to do with the resurrection of our bodies in the end?

Question 2:
What are we to make of all these differenct sexuality options that are apearing? How are we to react in love to people who present themselves to us with these different forms of sexual orientation? How do we teach our children in order to protect them from being confused?

Qestion 3:
Hello Christopher and Wendy! Thank you so much for your podcast. I listen to it every morning before my teaching assistant job, and you have very much inspired my desire to be a theology teacher! Having had a recent and intense reversion back into my Catholic faith, the Holy Spirit (with the help of your podcast) has convicted me to wait until marriage to have sex! Although I am confident in this conviction, having previously had pre-martial sex, the secular argument is still pervading in my mind. Which is, “How do you know you aren’t just marrying him just to have sex?” This bothers me! How do you recommend discerning a husband or wife without confusing lust with love? I’m worried about getting into the weeds here. Thank you again!

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

Good News about Sex & Marriage

The Eclipse of Sex by the Rise of Gender by Abigail Favale

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Here's the Deal | ACW122 May 03, 2021

Show notes

How can I reclaim purity after falling? How can a friendship become a romantic relationship?

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Patron Question:
Hi Christopher and Wendy. I’ve been listening to your podcast for a little over a year. I grew up, (thankfully!) with a very wholesome understanding of sexuality. I know that is rare. Despite the best efforts of my parents though, there were many needs in my heart for love and understanding, beauty and respect that went unmet. . . as I matured, these “holes” in my heart made me very vulnerable to the desires of other women my age who saw me as an opportunity to have their “needs” met. There’s a lot said in Christian circles about the lusts of men, but very little about the ways women use men so I think I was unprepared for this. I am very deeply empathetic, and am often told that I am very handsome. . . I share this because I think it explains why so many women have ended up using me to gratify their desires. Over time I began using these women back in different ways and eventually lost my resolve to save myself for marriage. Now, I feel so sick. I am exposing these wounds and needs to the blessed mother in prayer, but still every time thoughts of sexuality come to my mind, I feel a twisting in my stomach instead of the awe and wonder I had when I was much younger. What do I do? I feel like I have been compromised in the worst way.

Question 2:
Christopher, I know you’ve told this story a lot but here is the deal: my female best friend is attracted to me. Honestly, she is smart, very beautiful, very very funny and I know I can count on her anytime, she is simply the best. . . But, I just can’t see her as anything more than a friend right now. Christopher and Wendy, I want what you have, and I really want the best for her but I don’t know if I’m the best for her. Christopher, how did you turn your friendship with Wendy into romantic love?

Qestion 3:
My wife and I have been married for over 30 years. As we’ve gotten older, we’ve had to adjust our physical relationship because of health issues. I know this is a sensitive question, but I want to know what is permissible for couples who are able to experience sexual climax but cannot comfortably have penetration.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

Get a PREMIUM Pass for the 2nd Annual Theology of the Body Virtual Conference!

Good News about Sex and Marriage

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Intercede for Her | ACW121 Apr 26, 2021

Show notes

My wife scheduled an abortion - what can I do?

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Patron Question:
My wife just broke the news that she is pregnant with our first child. She’s so scared of childbirth that she scheduled an abortion. What can I do? I want to be a father.

Question 2:
Hi Christopher and Wendy,
Thank you so much for all you do to spread the GOOD NEWS of Theology of the Body! Christopher's books were my introduction to JP2's wisdom on human sexuality, and I am not exaggerating when I say it completely changed my faith for the better.
To varying degrees throughout my life, I've struggled with mental health issues, such as depression, scrupulosity, OCD, and negative body image. I find myself hoping for a future husband who doesn't share the same struggles as I do, someone who can help keep me grounded in reality. In theory, I could see how meeting someone with the same experiences could foster understanding and compassion in the relationship, but mainly I fear that such a marriage would fall apart if both spouses are mentally and emotionally unstable. Am I a hypocrite for wanting a man who will accept and patiently bear my crosses and weaknesses, but for whom I wouldn't want to do the same? If so, do you have any advice?

Qestion 3:
Why do people say that pornography is adultery? I struggled with it, but I never slept with anyone else. I love my wife and I did not give my heart to anybody but her. She is the only woman in my life.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

The Nitty Gritties of Love | ACW120 Apr 19, 2021

Show notes

How to share Theology of the Body with young children, how to discuss Catholic teaching on gender with children, and the best steps for education yourself on Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Patron Question:
My husband and I are Natural Family Planning teachers with the Billings method. We believe that using NFP has brought us closer to God. We know Theology of the Body is the foundation for our closeness. Do you have any thoughts about how we can begin to share this amazing gift with our young children, ages 5, 4, and 2?

Question 2:
Hi! My question is in regards to gender dysphoria, specifically how to address and discuss Catholic teachings and gender change to children and to other non-Catholic friends.
I very recently made the decision to take my children out of public school. There were numerous issues including the introduction of condom use and where to get them to my 11 year old but my question is in regards to my 10 year old daughter. Her friend has come out to the classroom as changing genders. They watched videos on the subject and essentially were told everyone has the freedom to choose their sex and gender doesn't equal biology essentially.
I have read your book of Theology of the Body for Beginners and it was amazing, but can you give me some "go to" compassionate conversation to spread to my children as well as non-Catholic friends who are asking about my decision to homeschool and the lgbtq movement?

Qestion 3:
Hello Christopher and Wendy!
I was introduced to TOB through Dr. Juli Slattery's ministry, Authentic Intimacy. I have just finished reading Our Bodies Tell God's Story and I have been profoundly impacted and moved by TOB. I would say Our Bodies Tell God's Story is one of my favourite books ever! I have also been learning a lot from your podcast. Thank you for modeling a loving marriage together in your podcast!
As a married woman I have questions about what sexual behaviors are honoring in the bedroom. Can you direct me to where I can have questions about this answered?
I’m also wondering in what order I should read your books and resources? What are the next steps in educating myself about TOB.
Thank you again for your ministry and for sharing your marriage through the podcast!

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!

THE TRUTH AND MEANING OF HUMAN SEXUALITY: Guidelines for Education within the Family

Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids

Good News about Sex & Marriage

When Harry Became Sally

HEAVEN'S SONG: SEXUAL LOVE AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE

THE LOVE THAT SATISFIES

LOVE IS PATIENT, BUT I’M NOT: CONFESSIONS OF A RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST

THEOLOGY OF THE BODY EXPLAINED

AT THE HEART OF THE GOSPEL

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

A Promise of Immortality | ACW119 Apr 12, 2021

Show notes

Why in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination are sinful. How to overcome fears of sexual intimacy. Where to find an integrated understanding of chastity.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Patron Question:
I’ve been thinking about infertility. I know the Church teaches that some ways of achieving a pregnancy like sperm or egg donors are sinful, but I don’t fully understand why.

Question 2:
Dear Christopher and Wendy, I’ve just discovered your podcast and all your work. I have so much to learn and know that God wants to enlighten so many things for me, but I’ve never had a boyfriend. Now that I’m 24 and I am looking to see if God wants me to get married , I do get scared at the thought of sex. Sadly, I grew up thinking that sex was a forbidden thing, and I find myself afraid thinking about my wedding night. I know it’s a gift and it’s a donation, but I can’t help being afraid. I don’t know the male body and feel so insecure in so many ways. I have the desire to fulfill my vocation and mission as a woman to give my life and to bring to the world children that may love God above everything, but I’m so human and afraid. What should I do to prepare myself in this time, to heal from these thoughts even while I’m still single?

Qestion 3:
Hi. I am an occupational therapist, and a health/life coach who wants to help people with mental health issues to be more integrated in their bodies and with God. I am looking for a more thorough understanding of integration and chastity. What do you recommend?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Theology of the Body for Beginners

Good News about Sex & Marriage

Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

The Cry of Agony | ACW118 Apr 05, 2021

Show notes

How we got started in ministry. Healing from sexual abuse. How true art can heal the wounds of pornography.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

*Patron Question: *
I’m interested in getting involved in pro life ministry. Would you please share how you got started in ministry work?

Q2: Hi! I am a 25 year old practicing Catholic. I have been really struggling recently with my image of God the Father and Jesus. I was sexually assaulted, physically, and mentally abused by my own father which has altered the way I perceive older men and especially Jesus now as an adult. I would say that I have a good prayer life. I receive sacraments regularly; but in the depths of my soul, there is a part of me that has been corrupted in regards to all things having to do with fatherhood It's like I know the difference in my mind; I even gave Theology of the Body talks to other students in my college campus ministry, but in my heart and memory, there is still an inner struggle with believing and understanding what a good father is.

Q3: Hi Christopher and Wendy. I’ve been struggling with pornography for a long time, and have been praying for the Lord to help me overcome it. I’m also struggling with depression and hopelessness due to this problem and other things. I am currently studying classical art in an institute were we work with nude models all day long. I’ve found myself tempted quite often, and there have been times I’ve had to avoid class because of the struggle not to objectify the woman posing. Even though I know it is not intrinsically evil, do you think it would be wise for me to stay away while I find healing?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Forgiven and Repaired | ACW117 Mar 29, 2021

Show notes

If we are redeemed, why must our bodies die? How do you deal with lustful thoughts as a woman? Is it sinful to be intimate with my husband after he has had a vasectomy?

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: I am really grateful for this teaching on Theology of the Body and for your ministry. You’re spreading very good news and everything’s starting to make sense in my life.
If we are reborn, redeemed, regenerated, why must our bodies die? What is the theology of our dead bodies?

Q2: I'm struggling to know how long to hold onto lustful thoughts. I’ve realized, through listening to other women's stories, that I have quite a high sex drive for a woman, and thoughts about intimacy pop into my head daily. I'm single but dating someone I'm very interested in, and my attraction to him as a whole person intensifies my imagination. While I used to hate myself every time this craving for intimacy would pop into my head, I've learned from your podcast that it's okay to have space for that and look for the deeper, good need behind it.
I also notice that I sometimes spend a lot of time dwelling on this, and then I worry that I'm engaging sinfully I should be doing away with it. Where is the place of balance?

Q3: In my country it is very common for people to decide how many kids you want and then get sterilized once you have them. I thought we were doing great with NFP, but after a scary pregnancy with our fourth baby, we felt so tired, scared, and overwhelmed without family close to help. We decided my husband would have a vasectomy. Everybody does it, we thought. As time passes, and I learn more about Theology of the Body, I regret this decision.I know marriage, sex and babies go together, but now we can’t have babies. I feel that maybe we are doing something wrong when my husband wants to be intimate with me. Is it wrong to be intimate now?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Vasectomy Reversals at Cost

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

There Is A Path Before Us | ACW116 Mar 22, 2021

Show notes

What is an emotional affair? How can people who have been educated by pornography trust their hearts?

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: We talk a lot about lust and the degrading of a person through a physical sexual act but I am often hearing about emotional affairs but what if a wife or girlfriend were to be seeking and desiring emotional companionship with someone other than her husband or boyfriend?

Q2: How can people who have been educated on sexuality through pornography learn what is good and what is not? Even some catholics authors are vague on the acceptable behaviors. I even read some that encourage many kinds of behaviors that are found in pornography. But how can a generation who has been educated by porn learn to trust their heart?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Good News About Sex and Marriage

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

The One Line Hook | ACW115 Mar 15, 2021

Show notes

How can I explain that living together before marriage is not a part of God's plan without having to explain hours of TOB? Do I need to tell my husband about my sexual past? Why is Mary called "Mother Undefiled"?

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: I have several nieces and nephews who are cohabitating with their significant others. They have a completely secular view about their sexuality. How can I explain that living together before marriage is not a part of God's plan without having to explain hours of TOB right off the bat? I need to hook them with something so that they'll belive me and I can chip away with TOB slowly.

Q2: I am a wife and mother, and a fairly new convert to the faith. I’ve been deeply grieved by the sin of my past, even though I understand that through the sacramental graces of confession I am forgiven, I fear I must also seek forgiveness from my husband. In our courtship, I failed to confess to him my sexual past. These were things I had never spoken of to anyone until my confessor. And although I know I am forgiven, I am still deeply ashamed. The encounters I had left me with emotional scarring and pain. My question is an earnest plea for spiritual guidance on what to do when I have brought my sins to my confessor, but am unsure of whether or not I must also confess these to my spouse?

Q3: Hello Christopher and Wendy, thank you so much for your podcast! It has helped me greatly with understanding and accepting my body and God's plan for it. I have noticed that a lot of times sex is spoken of as a bad thing, for example one of the titles of Mary is “Mother Undefiled.” This really confuses me because if sex is a good thing why would it be referred to as being defiled? Could you please explain this to me?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

The 2nd Annual FREE Theology of the Body Virtual Conference (April 30 - May 2, 2021)

Course Calendar

Theology of the Body at the Movies

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.