Again With This: Dawson&#8217;s, Melrose, 90210

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MP S01.E02: Friends & Lovers Apr 15, 2019

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We're so early in the run of Melrose Place that the Mancinis are having the kind of banal problems that any married couple might have: are they past the romance phase of their relationship? Can they survive the challenges of Michael's busy schedule as a doctor and an apartment building manager? Can he really have forgotten the moment he knew he was in love with Jane? As a counterpoint to how things are between partners who are settled, we have Billy, who takes a gig as a cab driver, where his very first fare is a woman named Marcy who has nothing better to do than hang out with Billy marveling at how much they have in common and imposing herself on his increasingly testy roommate. Billy very quickly moves from defending whatever he and Marcy have against Alison's judgmental glares to realizing that Marcy is way too into him way too fast. Jake is still unemployed, and taking his frustrations out on everyone within yelling distance, from Michael (who hasn't fixed Jake's hot water despite weeks' worth of complaints) to a bureaucrat at the unemployment office to Kelly, who has the gall to bail him out when causing a disturbance at a state agency gets him arrested. This once again forces the question of what, exactly, is going on between them, and while he has no problem telling Billy to be honest with the girl he doesn't actually want to be with, he still can't take his own advice when it comes to this one blonde teen. Join us as we dig in to "Friends & Lovers"!

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BH S10.E11: Sibling Revelry Apr 08, 2019

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Donna has managed to avoid telling Gina the truth about her biological parentage for days -- weeks longer than any dumb baby should be expected to -- and finally finds a quiet moment to get Gina alone and spill it. Gina is, of course, horrified; she tells Donna she hates her; tells David she wants to be alone; then tells Dylan she doesn't want to be alone. Dylan is in her room when David comes by, and when he stomps off in such a huff that both Gina and Dylan follow him to try to explain, David gets a little too physical than he probably should while he's anywhere near the valet stand. But David and Gina aren't the only ones Dylan's busting up: he also buys Kelly a painting she likes, sending Matt into more paroxysms of insecurity when he does a little investigating, finds out that it cost $16,000, and gives Kelly the 5000th ultimatum of their relationship. When Donna can't shut up about how important it is to be honest and not to keep shameful secrets, Noah finally admits that the reason he's not interested in attending a Harvard alumni party is that he's totally not a Harvard alumnus, at all. He asks her not to tell Kelly about it, and this seems to be the thing that finally causes Donna to wonder if he's actually the right guy for her? Elsewhere, Steve and Janet bring Maddy home from the hospital, which cues Steve to become an overprotective first-time parent cliche. We take you through in our podcast on "Sibling Revelry"!

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MP S01.E01: Pilot Apr 01, 2019

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Beverly Hills, 90210's back door opens onto Melrose Place, a hip apartment complex occupied by a demographically diverse group of cool twentysomethings with gritty problems of the sort the West Beverly High gang could scarcely imagine. Jake tries his best to get rid of Kelly by telling her not that "dating" her would be a literal crime, but that he's stressed about where his next job is coming from. This doesn't actually work, as she continues stalking him until Donna, David, and Steve are all moved to follow her on her date (at Shooters, oy) to try to embarrass her into getting a grip. Alison, whose old roommate has fled in the night and stuck her with the whole month's rent, scrambles to replace her; circumstances (a bunch of terrible applicants) force her to accept her first ever male roommate -- aspiring writer Billy. Managing his guy-ness while also navigating the "mentorship" of a D&D exec make this a very stressful few days for the pride of the University of Wisconsin. Rounding out the cast, we meet Jane and Michael, who try to keep the spark of their marriage alive despite the demands of his career as a hospital resident; Rhonda, a Cardio Funk instructor more than a little desperate to stop being single; Sandy, a southern-belle actress who mostly exists here to needle Jake about his jailbait girlfriend; and Gay Matt, who is gay. Let's all go deep on the Melrose Place pilot!

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BH S10.E09: Family Tree & What’s In A Name? Mar 25, 2019

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Jackie and Mel's relationship seems to be over for realsies this time, and even though our main cast are all well into their twenties, almost all of them are affected. Matt is representing Jackie in the separation and custody proceedings, so he has Kelly in his ear trying to make sure Erin is shielded, as much as possible, from the fallout. Her general bad mood also has her bristling against her new roommate Noah and overreacting to his intrusions. Jackie also reveals that Gina was the one who told her about Mel's strip party attendance after he quit paying her hush money, which puts her on the outs with most members of the gang -- particularly David, who believes her denials until Mel confirms it. Dylan continues inserting himself into Andrew's career crisis, braying at community center co-director Patsy and trying to get Andrew reinstated by threatening to withdraw his financial support. Surprise! This makes things worse. Steve and Janet go on a STUFF-stuffed honeymoon, which (no surprise!) ends with her water breaking six weeks early. Because this is a TV show, her delivery turns dramatic, requiring an emergency c-section that results in a preemie who has to go on a respirator in the NICU. Then, because it's a double episode, we must continue following everyone's Thanksgiving plans. Donna buys a genealogy CD-Rom to make a family tree for Steve and Janet. Curious about her own origins, she stumbles upon her father's vital statistics and learns that...he is Gina's biological father. Gina herself is trying to navigate her breakup with Dylan and David's ongoing touchiness about feelings she may or may not still have for her ex. Said ex has thrown himself into the center's Thanksgiving celebration, and ropes Kelly into helping, to Matt's dismay. Will Steve and Janet's baby make it through the holiday? Find out with our podcast on "Family Tree"!

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BH S10.E08: Baby, You Can Drive My Car Mar 18, 2019

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Everyone's in...kind of a bad mood. Kelly's pissed off that Mel's interest in exotic dancers has broken up his relationship with her mother, again, and blames Noah for putting strange breasts in Mel's eyeline. Dylan's annoyed that Andrew from the community center keeps bugging him to volunteer no matter how much money Dylan throws at him to shut him up; his attitude doesn't really improve when he and Andrew are beaten up by homophobes and Andrew won't let Dylan browbeat him into participating in the investigation because Andrew actually is gay, and isn't out at work And Janet's increasingly anxious about how far behind she is both in setting up the baby's nursery and planning her wedding. Steve comes up with an idea: he and Janet send all their friends on what they keep calling a scavenger hunt but is actually more of a treasure hunt; there's a party at the end that will roll up all the showers and bachelor/ette events they'd have to stage separately otherwise. Friction between participants keeps causing teams to break up -- Noah peels off from Kelly, who's being a bitch; Dylan wearies of Gina's concern about a stray dog they pass on the street -- but they do all make it to the "party," which the affianced have somewhat misrepresented, and which ends well for exactly one of the show's many couples. Dearly beloved, please join us for our podcast on "Baby, You Can Drive My Car"!

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BH S10.E07: Laying Pipe Mar 11, 2019

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Faith has been part of Janet's upbringing, and she wants to continue the tradition with her own future child. A laudable notion, except that she and Steve have decided their child's godparents should be Dylan and Kelly, and don't withdraw the offer even after Kelly and Dylan pretty much openly act like they think the whole idea is dumb. Still, they do agree to go to Ojai to see Steve and Janet's future wedding site with them, meet Janet's pastor, and flirt with each other like we haven't seen them do in a while. At the same time, David's back in Los Angeles negotiating the sale of Steve's Corvette (so that he can start his new life behind the wheel of a minivan), and doing some flirting of his own with the buyer: a performance artist named Marta. Gina's also in L.A., accepting extortion payments from Mel in the form of vastly overpriced training sessions, until she overhears a phone call between Kelly and Matt in which Kelly announces that she's going to spend the night in Ojai with Dylan to see the "pink moment" at sunset; Gina decides she would like to see it herself, and leaves Matt to wait by the phone with Walter Hawkins to find out if Pete's execution's going to be commuted by the governor. After Donna has an extremely brief interaction with a homeless man whose courtyard sleep she disturbs, she is the one who's disturbed when he dies shortly afterward. Donna undertakes the project of finding out who he was and honouring his memory, while Noah tags along to take Donna's need to canonize the guy very personally. Join us as we go on a journey through "Laying Pipe"!

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BH S10.E06: 80’s Night Mar 04, 2019

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A convicted murderer is on his last appeal -- and apparently his legal fund is down to its last dollar, because he's hired Matt to represent him and get his death sentence overturned. Kelly is very supportive of Matt's efforts of behalf of his client until she finds out the man also raped his victim before killing her, whereupon she starts taking it personally, which she was already primed to do both because she is her and because her dead rapist's parents have recently visited her to forgive her, and to ask her to forgive them for raising a criminal who assaulted her. What are Kelly's principles? It's a fair question! (For which we don't have an answer.) Gina and Noah are still making tons of money with the Peach Pit After Dark After Darker, but at least one of their neighbours has determined that they're staying open two hours longer than is permitted, and before long, they're getting raided by the cops -- and on a night when Mel Silver is enjoying a lap dance, no less! Gina helps him escape arrest (Noah and Donna aren't so lucky, and go to jail), and mere minutes after promising Dylan she's done lying to him, she's sneaking off to work a crooked new angle with Mel. Speaking of the sleazy Silvers: David is more of a pig than ever, escalating to phoning the girlfriend of a caller named Tony and, over Tony's objections, dumping her on his behalf. All Dave's friends are disgusted by his new "character" (Tony's not thrilled either), but David insists that his amazing ratings are all that matter and that he's not responsible for anything his listeners might do. And after taking up the spotlight for the past few episodes, Steve and Janet are back in the plot cellar, where Janet is excited to realize her college dream of playing bass in a band and Steve is concerned that she's being irresponsible and juvenile. We discuss it all in our podcast on "80's Night"!

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BH S10.E05: The Loo-Ouch Feb 25, 2019

Show notes

Now that Janet's finally accepted Steve's proposal, it's time for them to tackle the matter they've been putting off: telling their parents all their news. The Sosnas are even less thrilled about Steve than they were before he knocked up their daughter; Rush is only marginally happier about it, though his acceptance comes with a lot of casual racism. Things come to a head at the couple's engagement party, where Steve's attempt to conceal his (absent) mother's sexuality by passing off her (present) girlfriend as his sister somehow backfires disastrously! Meanwhile, Matt and Noah agree that the generous play would be for one of them to move out of the Walsh house so that Steve and Janet can turn the emptied room into a nursery, but neither of their girlfriends is quite ready to commit to shacking up with them. David can't stop failing in his attempts to prove to Robyn that he isn't a trifling jerk -- that's just the guy he plays on the radio! A chance encounter with a strip club manager convinces Gina that the best way for her and Noah to earn a little extra pocket money is to hire some exotic dancers for secret After Dark after-hours peeler parties. We hope you'll be engaged by our podcast on "The Loo-Ouch"!

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BH S10.E04: A Fine Mess Feb 18, 2019

Show notes

Janet's "no" on Steve's shotgun marriage proposal apparently was not the last word on the matter. The guys (minus Matt) rally around Steve to try to workshop a proposal Janet will accept, while the ladies (minus Gina) urge Janet to change her mind. In the process, though, Matt reveals that he is kind of dubious about the whole institution these days, and Kelly is a bitch about it in multiple conversations and locations, including on the dance floor. Will Janet decide she can put aside her fear of Steve's special brand of messiness? Will Matt let Kelly beat him into submission on yet another issue? Matt and Kelly aren't the only ones fighting at the club: Donna runs afoul of Noah when she suggests he book a band without disclosing her personal connection to one of its members, while David's latest romantic prospect Robyn gets turned into radio content without her consent. Dylan decides his capacious hotel suite is too small for both himself and Gina, but the solution he comes up with to keep her off the shag carpets of Reseda may not work for her. We take you through in our podcast on "A Fine Mess"!

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