Adoption: The Making of Me. An Oral History of Adoptee Stories

Latest Episodes:

Santo: The Journey to Belong Mar 04, 2025

Show notes

Dr. Santo D. Marabella, born in a Catholic orphanage in Aosta, Italy, and flown to the United States just one week shy of his first birthday, was one of over 3700 Italian-born children adopted by Italian American parents between 1951 and 1969. Known as the “Baby Scoop” era, tens of thousands of Italian unwed mothers were forced to give their children up for adoption, leaving behind generations of children devastated by their perceived abandonment.

Though he was the treasured only child of his adoptive parents, Santo was bullied by his peers and struggled from an early age to fit in and connect with others. Growing up, the realization that he was gay further deepened this isolation, straining his relationship with the Church to which he was so dedicated and the parents he so loved (though his parents’ acceptance came quickly). Despite self-doubt and fear, he refused to be stopped. He tried harder and achieved more, carving out a life as a caregiver, educator, writer, and artist. But he was still on the outside. In this episode, Santo talks about his “journey to belonging” that he recently embarked on and where it is taking him!

Il Mio Posto A Tavola - (My Place at The Table) -Documentary by Santo D. Marabella

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Closure - Angela Tucker Documentary

Our Next Book: The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sharla: For This Adoptee, the Truth Came Later Feb 25, 2025

Show notes

Placed for adoption through a West Texas county children’s home, Sharla is a “Baby Scoop”-era adoptee. Sharla’s biological mother moved across the state to live with her older sister and family until the time of Sharla’s birth. On the day Sharla was born, a married couple who applied to adopt was contacted. Several days later, with their 9-year-old son in tow, they drove an hour to come for her at the children’s home. She grew up in a fairly typical family and home. Always having known she was adopted, as is often the narrative, she has no memory of ever being told. The subject was never discussed, although she did know her parents had NonID information and an “adoption papers” folder. For the majority of her life, her adoption didn’t seem important to her or anyone else.
In 2019, the secrets and undisclosed information of the past 51 years suddenly began to come to light. Unbeknownst to Sharla, her 23andMe DNA kit would soon reveal a close relative via an email. Suddenly, she could decide if she wanted to know the truth about her biological heritage. She later expressed to her husband that in all the years she had said it didn’t matter to her, that was true. However, she explained that when you spend decades believing there’s no way to ever learn the truth, you may convince yourself that it’s not important.
With the encouragement of her husband and children, she is building new relationships. She has also enjoyed a long-overdue, warm, and loving reunion with her maternal aunt, who initially considered adopting her and was there to see her the day she was born.
Despite some rejection along the way, loving and seeking out people and relationships hasn’t become any less of a priority for Sharla. This 5-year journey has helped her recognize how being adopted didn’t define her, but it has shaped and affected her. She is a recovering people-pleaser, has begun to realize that it is not her role to make everything and everyone okay, and is currently finding peace with the “what-ifs."

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
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To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Rebeccah: From Self-Discovery to Healing. Feb 18, 2025

Show notes

Rebeccah Carlson is a transracial adoptee born in Georgia and raised in the Midwest. Growing up, she often felt a sense of disenfranchised grief and longed for information about her origins. In her late twenties, Rebeccah began a journey of self-discovery which led to reunion with her birth family. This experience helped start the process of mending her fractured identity and deepened her understanding of the broader realities of adoption.
Since then, Rebeccah has found greater healing by publicly sharing her story with others. From podcasts to news articles, Rebeccah has openly explored her lived experience in effort to grow, recover, and transform. Her mission is to create space for authentic conversations related to adoption, identity, and belonging, ensuring other adoptees feel validated in their unique journeys. Rebeccah has also enjoyed volunteering for adoption-related causes, most recently ending her multi-year tenure as Board Chair of the Adoptee Mentoring Society. She lives in Phoenix, Arizona.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Closure - Angela Tucker Documentary
JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jill: DNA Pushed This Adoptee Out of the Fog Feb 11, 2025

Show notes

Jill was conceived in Washington and born in Texas, adopted at birth during the Baby Scoop era, in a closed-file adoption through Home of the Holy Infancy to a same-race couple who was infertile. They had adopted a baby boy but he wasn’t as promised. Before they could return to the well to get the baby girl they always wanted, the nuns miraculously placed her with her new parents on Christmas Eve! The nuns who decided her fate believed in genetic mirroring matching her to people with similar demographics. They did that for all their babies, playing chess with their lives. When Jill was two, her adoptive father died.

When she was four, her mother remarried the only daddy she ever knew, a widower with six kids. She lived in a big blended family, rich in love, heritage, and tradition.

Jill always knew she was adopted but completely disassociated from it. Talk about FOG, she was in DEEP. Her mother tried to turn her story into a fairytale that her birth mother loved her very much but she still couldn’t keep her.

Jill knew nothing of her origin until she was 57 years old! Now, pushing 60, she has learned many things about her paternal and maternal sides. Her maternal grandpa even had a 2nd secret family. She figured this out all thanks to DNA, which provided her mother’s name which was the key to everything. That was then used to obtain her original birth certificate, and court records, and get the adoption agency files unsealed for cause!

In reunion since that fateful phone call in June of 2022, she has continued to forge a path forward with all who are interested.

Jill isn’t needy. That’s the worst! She is grateful not because she should be but because she is. Never putting all kidding aside, she’s constantly joking. She hopes you read between the lines above to see her beautiful pain. She isn’t bitter! Not anymore. This is what is. Adoption, what a wild ride!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Mike: Finding Strength in Connection Feb 04, 2025

Show notes

Born in 1970 in Iowa, Mike was adopted at just 10 days old. His adoptive father passed away in 1972, leaving Mike and his family to navigate life without him. From an early age, Mike felt a profound curiosity about his biological roots and has spent much of his life searching for answers.

The journey to uncover his origins has been full of unexpected twists and turns, leading to the discovery of many biological family members—some of whom have been an incredible blessing and others a more complex addition to his story. Through it all, Mike has learned not only about his family but also about himself and the resilience required to embrace both the joy and challenges of reunion.

Mike continues to explore and reflect on what family means while finding strength in the connections he’s built. He lives in Iowa and remains passionate about sharing his journey with others navigating similar paths.

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ann: Sleuthing and DNA Led to Answers Jan 28, 2025

Show notes

Ann is a Baby Scoop-era adoptee. Born to teenage parents in the early 1960s, she was adopted when she was not quite two weeks old. She’s always known she was adopted. Her adoptive mother told her against the wishes of her adoptive father when she was very young. Knowing caused her a great deal of angst growing up because she felt her adoptive parents were withholding information from her and that coupled with feeling and looking different from her adoptive family was a constant source of cognitive dissonance that lasted into adulthood.

As an adult, Ann searched for her birth mother over the years but with little information to go on, and the imperfect search options available to her, she found nothing. It wasn’t until her daughter convinced her to take a DNA test in 2019 that solid leads led her first to a maternal cousin and then to her birth mother’s family and set her on the journey to discover where she came from, and how it shaped who she’s become.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Closure - Angela Tucker Documentary
Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with my link:
https://www.magicmind.com/ADOPTEEJAN
JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 PM ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Melanie: A Health Scare Spurs a Search Jan 21, 2025

Show notes

Melanie Green is an infant adoptee from a private domestic adoption in the 1980s. Her adoption was facilitated by a lawyer known for high-dollar adoptions of babies with blonde hair and blue eyes, and for putting financial pressures on birth parents so they wouldn't be able to change their minds. Estranged from much of her adoptive family, she was hesitant to find her birth family.

After facing some scary medical news, she started her search for her personal medical history in 2021. She wanted her children to be able to get screened for preventable conditions that they were at risk for but would have no way of knowing due to her adoption. She took an Ancestry DNA test and found some cousins and a search angel at DNAngels who helped her find her living relatives and get as much medical history as possible. She learned her mother died in 2012 at age 50, well before she started her search. Because she doesn't have her real birth certificate, she is unable to request the records of what caused her mother's death.

She found out she had a half-sister on her father's side that she continued searching for. All she knows is that she was adopted by an affluent family in Lake Forest, Illinois, and was born around 1985. She's joined Lake Forest area moms groups in hopes of finding her sister and letting her know about their shared medical history.

Today, she's a professional writer and serial entrepreneur. She earned her Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from National University and her Bachelor of Arts in Writing from the University of Tampa. She loves camping, traveling, and going to history and science museums.
You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with my link:
https://www.magicmind.com/ADOPTEEJAN
JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 PM ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Andrea: A Journey to Uncover the Truth Jan 14, 2025

Show notes

Born in 1976, Andrea is a same-race, domestic adoptee with international roots. Andrea's birth mother was from Greece and traveled to Sacramento, California, where she gave birth to and relinquished Andrea before promptly leaving the U.S. Raised as an only child in her adoptive family, Andrea spent most of her life understanding her adoption story as a single narrative about how a couple who couldn't have a child of their own "chose" her. It wasn't until the birth of her daughter in 2010 that Andrea started asking questions about her relinquishment and her birth mother's story. Andrea reunited with her birth mother Voula in Greece in 2019, three years before Voula died.

Andrea has spent the better part of her forties uncovering the details of Voula's journey to the United States and back to Greece, in an effort to understand where Andrea can call home. Ultimately landing halfway between California and Greece, Andrea has made her home in Queens, New York, where she lives with her husband and daughter and teaches academic writing to college students. She has begun writing about her adoption journey for the Adoptee Voices E-Zine. She is grateful for adoptee communities, like the one created by Adoption the Making of Me, where adopted people can share their stories.
You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with my link:
https://www.magicmind.com/ADOPTEEJAN
JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 PM ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Shawn: Born Without a Race Jan 07, 2025

Show notes

"Just a quick note - this episode contains language some listeners might find offensive -- regarding experiences involving racism."
In 1963, Shawn was placed for adoption because his white mother's family didn't want a biracial grandson. As an infant, he passed for white, and he was adopted by a racist, rural Indiana family who didn't realize that he was black. Ashamed of his ethnicity, his mother concocted lies to hide his race from everyone, including Shawn.

This lack of racial identity caused depressing confusion and conflict with his education, relationships, and career, but his mother insisted that he was not to search for his birth family until after she died.

Around age 40, Shawn and his wife decided that he was well-suited to adopt other biracial babies. Through the adoption process, he discovered clues that helped him locate and reunite with his biological family.
Born Without a Race: The Struggles and Confusion of a Racially Ambiguous Adoptee, and How He Discovered His True Identity.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link
USE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
magicmind.com/adoptee20
JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 pm ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Lisa: From Chosen to Belonging Dec 31, 2024

Show notes

Lisa was born in 1958 and grew up in Franklin, Indiana. She was the youngest of two, both of whom were adopted. As far back as she can remember, she always knew she was “chosen.”

With no real information to go on, after submitting her DNA and no close family hits, her husband put together a family tree in which they were able to identify her biological father. They think they have her biological mother identified, but have yet to make contact.

Lisa now lives in the St. Louis, Missouri area and has two fabulous children and a grandson. She also has 'bonus' children and grandchildren that she loves to see. She currently works as a software consultant but is on the verge of retiring. She also has two Bernedoodles that keep her very active.

Finding this podcast has helped her feel that, finally, she is not alone.

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, January 4th @ 1 pm ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova