Active & Connected Families

Latest Episodes:

From People Pleasing to Setting Boundaries for Us 45-Year-Olds With Meg Allan Cole Mar 23, 2023

Show notes

Let's talk about setting boundaries today. Because I know setting boundaries is something so many people, especially women, struggle with. And I'm certainly one of them.

Today's guest Meg Allan Cole is an expert in the field of going from people pleaser to setting healthy boundaries and I'm so excited to share her insights with you. She struggled with a chronic illness for the last 5-10 years and woke up and figured out what her priorities in life are. She realized that in order to honor them she had to learn to say no. And so she did.

We can all learn how to set healthy boundaries in order to be the person we want to be. So let's dive and start learning how to do this!

In this episode on setting healthy boundaries, we cover:

Historical and cultural reasons why we people-please;
Acknowledging your own boundaries;
Strategies & specific examples on how to set healthy boundaries;
How the patriarchy taught women to apologize all the time and how this plays into people-pleasing and setting healthy boundaries;
Meditation;
And so much more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

Ps. Do you love listening to our podcast? It would mean the absolute world to us if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This will help our show so we can help more parents and families feel more active and connected in their lives. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/setting-healhty-boundaries/

How Trying New Things in My 40S Changes My Life - With Cville Ten Miler Race Director, Karen Murray Mar 16, 2023

Show notes

Let's talk about the importance of trying new things in your 40s and reflect on how doing so can really change our lives!

Karen Murray's story is an incredible example of how trying something new in your 40s can change your life. She ran her first marathon at the age of 46. Now, ten years later, she's run 314 of them!

Her story shows us that just a little bit of courage in taking a small step can truly make us happier and healthier and give our life meaning as we get older.

In this episode on trying new things in your 40s, we discuss:

Why it's so important to start something new in your 40s;
Karen's story of how she did this and how it changed her life;
What inspired her to pick up running in her mid-40s;
How she had the courage to DO IT;
How having something new changed her life;
And more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/trying-new-things-in-your-40s/

Parental Burnout: What Parents Can Learn From Athletes About Managing Stress With Erik Korem, PhD Mar 09, 2023

Show notes

Parents are still experiencing burnout after the pandemic. For those of you who are in your 40's, like me, this burnout is coinciding with a very natural increase in depression that hits most of us around this age. This shows how important it is for us to be proactive about how we're managing our stress!

Today, I'm talking to Dr. Erik Korem, who's a sports scientist, entrepreneur, podcast host of The Blueprint, and father of three. We'll discuss what parents can learn from athletes about managing stress and burnout and how we can actually build our capacity to adapt to stress. I can't wait for you to learn more from him in today's episode!

In this episode on parental burnout and managing stress, we cover:

What happens physiologically with burnout and stress;
Why so many people are experiencing burnout right now;
What happens biologically when we experience stress;
Living closer to our values;
The 5 pillars to build the capacity to adapt to more stress;
And more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/parental-burnout-managing-stress/

Raising Boys #5: Raising Boys as a Feminist With Erin Spahr, LCPC Mar 02, 2023

Show notes

Raising feminist men is now more important than ever. I want my boys to push back against patriarchy AND at the same time feel proud of who they are as boys. If you are like me, and you are raising boys and identify as a feminist, this episode is for you!

I'll start this episode by sharing some tips I've been mulling over for the past few years. Then, I'll be joined by Erin Spahr, LCPC, to talk more about what it means to raise boys as a feminist. Erin's mission is to challenge the oppressive societal norms that disempower moms. She's full of deep insights she brings to the table during the episode, so let's dive in!

In this episode on raising boys as a feminist, we discuss:

What does it mean to Erin to be a feminist and how does this show up in her parenting?;
Starting the conversation with your boys;
Helping them observe what they see in the world around them;
How to talk to your kids about specific topics like toxic masculinity;
The role fathers play in raising feminist boys;
And so much more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/raising-boys-as-a-feminist/

Raising Boys #4: Helping Boys Talk About Feelings With Matt Browning, LPC Feb 23, 2023

Show notes

Now that we have a better understanding of why it is so hard for boys to talk about feelings, let's dive into what we can do to help our boys talk about their emotions.

I'm continuing the conversation with Matt Browning, who shares actionable strategies for helping our boys verbally express their feelings more easily. So how do we go about this? What are some actionable tactics to help our boys? And when is actually the right time to talk about this? Matt has all the answers in today's episode.

In this episode on helping boys talk about feelings, we discuss:

Actionable strategies for helping boys talk about feelings;
The importance of education around emotions and how to go about it;
Why it's helpful to keep it general at first instead of going personal right away;
Leaning into the resistance you feel from your kid instead of going against it;
When's the right time to talk about feelings?;
And so much more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/helping-boys-talk-about-feelings/

Raising Boys #3: Why Is It So Hard for Boys to Talk About Their Feelings? With Matt Browning, LPC Feb 16, 2023

Show notes

We're continuing the conversation about raising boys with another guest expert. Together with Matt Browning, Licensed Professional Counselor at Virginia Family Therapy, we'll dive deeper into the topic of why it is so hard for our kids who identify as boys to talk about their feelings.

In this episode on why it's hard for boys to talk about their feelings, we cover:

The biological reasons why boys experience difficulty talking about their emotions;
The social influences that make it hard for boys to talk about their feelings;
Relatable, personal stories of feedback Matt received when he expressed his emotions growing up;
The importance of developing relationships;
Useful sports references that will help your kids;
Sports heroes who talk about their emotions and show vulnerability on screen;
And more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/why-hard-for-boys-to-talk-about-feelings/

Raising Boys #2: What Do I Need to Know About Men's Mental Health? With Jason Frishman, Psy.D. Feb 09, 2023

Show notes

When talking about raising boys, we have to look at and think about where men are right now and what men's mental health looks like. We need this insight to know what we need to keep doing and where we can shift a little bit.

Jason Frishman is back to continue the conversation on men's mental health. He introduces the concept of 'the man box', a way of describing the traits and components we expect from men in our culture, and how these traits are directly related to isolation, loneliness, depression, suicidality, anger, aggression and even being bullied or being a bully yourself.

If we want a different life for our boys, we need change.

In this episode on men's mental health, we cover:

The man box: the traits and components we expect of men in our culture;
How these traits are related to isolation, loneliness, depression, etc.
The messages we (as a culture) send to men;
What men need from connections;
How wives can support their husbands in creating meaningful, regular, nourishing connections;
And much more

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/mens-mental-health/

Raising Boys #1: [REWIND] Fatherhood as Social Activism With Jason Frishman, Psy.D. Feb 02, 2023

Show notes

You all know I've devoted my life to understanding how teenage girls develop. Today though, I'm shifting my focus to the topic of raising boys. Men are put in a very difficult place in our society these days and if we want more for our boys and families and life, we have to teach young boys how to do better and offer more flexibility in who they become.

The upcoming few episodes will all be around the topic of raising boys. We're starting this mini-series off today with a rewind episode of my interview with Jason Frishman, Psy.D., about fatherhood as social activism. I believe that what he has to say about fatherhood can ground us in this conversation about raising boys because fathers are many times the role models in our boys' lives.

In this episode on fatherhood as social activism, we discuss:

How the stories we grew up with shaped our view on fatherhood and masculinity;
Redefining what it means to be a father;
Why it's harder for men/fathers to find a community in which they can discuss these topics;
The similarities and differences between motherhood and fatherhood from a cultural point of view;
The importance of the small things for you and your family;
How and why this all falls under social activism;
And so much more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/fatherhood-social-activism/

What Does the Mental Health Crisis Tell Me About Parenting? Jan 26, 2023

Show notes

Today, we'll be discussing a huge topic: how to raise our families in the midst of a mental health crisis. We're going to tackle this big idea from a place of theory and bring it down to steps of actions that parents can take to promote mental health for the whole family.

During the pandemic, our teens' mental health took a dip and it hasn't rebounded. We're in the midst of a mental health crisis. Knowing that raises the question: what do we do about it? What do we do now that we know there's a mental health crisis and what does this mean for how we raise our families?

In this episode on parenting during a mental health crisis, we discuss:

Why I think there's a mental health crisis among teenagers specifically;
How social norms work & promote unhealth;
The downside of social norms;
How the culture around us is toxic;
We need to go against the norms, but how do we do this?;
Experiencing anxiety because you're going against the norms vs anxiety because you're acting out of line with your values;
Low & high stakes norms;
Thoughts on parenting during a mental health crisis;
And so much more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/parenting-during-mental-health-crisis/

What Does Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Look Like In Kids? With Jesse Dice, LCSW Jan 19, 2023

Show notes

When we think about OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, most folks think about hand-washing, lining things up perfectly, or really perfectionistic kids. But the truth is that OCD can present in many different ways and very frequently, it's confused with generalized anxiety or overall anxiety.

Today, we have Jessie Dice, licensed clinical social worker, on the podcast to talk about OCD in kids. We're diving deep into all the ways OCD can come up for your child and what it can look like in the house and in your family system.

So what are the indicators to look out for? And what are the best steps to take when you think your child might be struggling with OCD? We talk all about it in today's episode!

In this episode on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in kids, we discuss:

Recognizing the difference between anxiety and OCD;
Signs and symptoms of OCD in children;
What OCD would actually look like in the house;
How OCD works in the family system;
Symptoms and systems parents might see themselves doing that are indicators that it's worth looking into therapy;
And more!

We always love hearing from you, so don't be shy, come over to our Facebook or Instagram and let us know what you thought about today's episode!

And if you haven't done so yet, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss any of our future episodes!

More info? You can find the full show notes, links and resources over at:

https://virginiafamilytherapy.com/ocd-in-kids/

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