Absolutely Not

Latest Episodes:

Jennifer Lawrence: She's Got An Oscar, I've Got Sciatica Oct 21, 2020

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews a true acting icon and apparently the podcast's biggest fan, Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, you read that right, JLAW. The two discuss life in the biz, Heather's lack of winning awards, and overall classic bullshit, in the humblest way possible. Heather essentially sweats through her shirt while getting a masterclass in everything Hollywood. This episode is a refreshing reminder that we're all gonna be ok, as long as we don't run out of chardonnay and vote!

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CANADIAN SK8R BOI Oct 15, 2020

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On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in her last week of Canada Glory. She has become a local, eating the fish, wearing the beanies and blasting Avril Lavigne at the top of her lungs. She is helping you figure out the hard hitting life concerns you're all thinking but dont have the chutzpah to say. It's ok, she will do it for you. She's coming to ya live from Vancouver in a ROOTS sweatsuit that she paid way too much for. That and more! Go to blenderbombs.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off! Go to framebridge.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first order! Go to uncommongoods.com/absolutely for 15% off! Produced by Dear Media.

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Doing Zoomies in Europe Oct 07, 2020

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On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is revved up after a wild tweet that sent her into a tailspin of laughter, confusion and sadness. She is also recapping her favorite new "escape show" Emily in Paris, which reminded her of her wild Study-Abroad experience. She's taking your insane calls on the Absolutely Not like and trying to give you the unsolicited life advice you never knew you needed!

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Produced by Dear Media.

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ADD IT TO THE LIST, MIKE Sep 30, 2020

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On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather uncovers some uncomfortable truths about herself and gives you a full rundown of her last week locked up. She's made a list and she's checking it twice of all the shit she has to try and fix in the world before 2021 gets here. She has a lot of "associations" to call starting with the BAR, Not legally speaking, like someone who just owns a bunch of bars.... just listen to the episode and you'll get it.

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Produced by Dear Media.

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GO FUND ME FROM CANADA Sep 23, 2020

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Heather is on the brink of a full blown meltdown coming to ya live from a new state-sanctioned Quarantine north of the border in Canada. She's in town for work and they legit sent her to her room and threw away the key. Tensions are high between she and the microwave, that bitch has been getting too mouthy this week. Heather is spiraling and taking your insane calls!

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Produced by Dear Media.

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IM A SALESGUY Sep 16, 2020

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On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's dear friend, Andrew Collin, is here to bitch and swindle his way back into our hearts. He's still single and apparently getting "ripped" in quarantine.... not drunk, like in shape... again we don't know what that is like. These two talk about missing the road life, their past discrepancies and honestly try to figure out how they can better themselves in 2020, and really it shouldn't take a lot.

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Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50!

Produced by Dear Media.

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STUCK UNDER THE TRUNDLE-BED TRISH Sep 09, 2020

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On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has hit her September shit show wall and is literally stuck under a trundle-bed of emotion. She is pulling out ALL OF THE FEELINGS from 2020 into one solid cathartic shitshow of a podcast. The VoiceMails are dumber than ever, but it does make her feel better to know that y'all are equally as fucked up as she is. We gotta do a wellness check on a lot of you, hussies cause Fall came fast and we are NOT READY.

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Check out Feals.com/absolutely and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.

Match with your perfect therapist at Talkspace.com or by downloading the Talkspace app. And don’t forget to use promo code absolutely at checkout for $100 off your first month.

Produced by Dear Media.

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THE GA LAW LADY, ASHLEY MCMAHAN "GIVE ME A SIDE OF MAC SAUCE" Sep 02, 2020

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On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is chatting with her ball busting, criminal defense attorney, big sis, Ashley. Also known as the Georgia Law Lady, she helps Heather break down some of y'alls most intense Voice Mails to date... such as... "Why doesn't Mcdonald's give out free mac sauce on the side?!!!" They are single handedly changing the world for the better with each bit of sister advice they share! Who knew all this year needed was the McMahan sisters to save the day. That and more!

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An Expert, An Asshole, An Alcoholic with Kate Kennedy of the Be There In Five Podcast Aug 26, 2020

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On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews Kate Kennedy of the "Be There in Five" podcast. It's their one-year anniversary since they met and now everything is coming full circle with these two ding dongs. They discuss how Tik Tok has taken over their lives, Being locked up with their dogs and Kate explains her emotional investment into Taylor Swift. They bitch about just how insane this year has made everyone, and they aren't suffering fools any longer! That and more! Get the world’s smartest litter without leaving home by visiting PrettyLitter.com and use promo code absolutely for 20% off your first order.

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sandy Vag But Delta Diamond Aug 19, 2020

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down her trip to Florida and is coming in guns hot after Robin Hijacks the episode. She hits the hotline and lemme tell you what, y'all are bitching more than ever! These calls are getting downright ridonkulous and we're here for it!

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Upgrade your hard seltzer with Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.