Abject Suffering

Latest Episodes:

Episode 447: Left Alive Mar 28, 2022

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We know about Solid, Liquid, and Solidus Snake, but are you ready to meet their little brother Solid-ish Snake? The concept for this game is good: What is it like to be stranded behind enemy lines as a footsoldier in a time when wars are fought entirely by mechs? Too bad it squanders it by feeling terrible in the hands and being very opaque in how it presents information to the player. So we talk about how we feel we'd fare against a mech instead.

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Episode 446: Reventure Mar 21, 2022

Show notes

Reventure is a cute little joke platformer about the many ways that quests can end. It's got a little Stanley Parable in it, along with a little Don't Shit Your Pants. It's not a bad game, and actually kinda neat, so we instead talk about Dangerous Animals shows, and Kole tortures Gary with home improvement chat.

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Episode 445: Tweenies: Game Time Mar 14, 2022

Show notes

Listen, have fun, go mad, get buried in a Dymaxion house. That's about the order of operations in this episode about a UK-only kids game based on a property called the Tweenies. They like to have fun and dance around, and one time a genie trapped them in the jungle with dinosaurs. But is there a more sinister side?

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Episode 444: Game Dev Tycoon Mar 07, 2022

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Why would you play a game about making games when you could make a game yourself, said the wise man, you absolute clod. Game Dev Tycoon bears a striking resemblance to Kairosoft's Game Dev Story, and they have caught plenty of heat for that, but if you're going to mimic a light management sim, there are far worse examples to crib from.

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Episode 443: Saint Sword Feb 21, 2022

Show notes

The Genesis is home to some very weird and obscure games, and Saint Sword is one of those. We use its strange transformation powerups to launch into a prolonged conversation about the pros and cons of centaurism.

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Episode 442: Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 Feb 14, 2022

Show notes

Is it here because it's a late entry in a beloved series that changed hands? No, it's here so we can joyously talk about the opening cutscenes. It's very hard to be mad at this game unless your favorite unit got nerfed. Then you'll hold a murderous grudge for life.

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Episode 441: Smarties: Meltdown Feb 07, 2022

Show notes

We chose this game on the basis of a misunderstanding, because the UK doesn't know how to name candy. What we thought would be a game about those sweet, sour, chalky tablets, ended up being a game about big M&Ms. Would the game based on the chalky candy have been any better? It's impossible to say, so we'll say yes. Yes, it would have been better.

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Episode 440: Duck Game Jan 31, 2022

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We take this perfectly fine party game and play it exactly the wrong way... Alone! We also talk about hats, the problem of having a head that's too big, and the meanest thing Gary has ever done.

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Episode 439: Vegas Stakes Jan 24, 2022

Show notes

Hop into a limo with $1,000 and your worst yuppie friends and head to Vegas in order to learn about the hidden horrors of strangers approaching you to ask for things. Also, we learn about the daring exploits of Mr. Colo$tomy, high roller extraordinaire.

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Episode 438: Ronin Jan 17, 2022

Show notes

It's hard to know what Devolver Digital was thinking when they signed on this one. You may think the idea of a turn-based side scrolling stealth game sounds cool, and it might be, but only if it was... finished. Ronin is not.

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