Where were you when the planes hit on 9-11? What did you feel that day? How did those feelings change in the following weeks?
I want you to remember that feeling of unity the following couple weeks. How the country stood up together against one thing. Nothing else mattered. All the petty BS went away… even when the media tried to bring it back, we rejected it.
Everyone became patriotic overnight. American flags were everywhere, and everyone smiled at them.
Remember that feeling today. Remember how great it was when everyone stood together.
Try to spread that feeling and go talk to people. If we all look for that one thing in common we can find that one thing that links us.
No matter who you are and who that other person is, we all have more in common than not. If we find that one thing we have in common with someone else, we can build bonds, make friends, and make the world a better place.
This also works for your self-defense. Your friends are more likely to help you and stand with when bad times come. You’ll get involved and help friends, but strangers, or “those” people you might not.
Make friends, make yourself and your family safer, and make the world a better place.
How do you deal with that overwhelming feeling? That feeling that the world is trying to crush you and there is nothing you can do?
The last two days have been easy for me. I had family in town and friends over. I did the minimum activity in my business. I should be back to work and ready to go today… but I’ve got the overwhelming feeling.
When I have that overwhelming feeling, like the weight of the world is on me and I can’t go any further, I just want to sit down, have some ice cream and beer and watch TV for the day.
None of that helps me. None of that will get me towards any goal I have in life. And when I do sit down, eat, drink, watch TV and be “merry”, when I finished I’m back to that feeling and just want to repeat the cycle. And that is the definition of crazy… doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.
I wish I could write the perfect three-step program to get you out of that feeling. I wish I could do it for you and more importantly for me. I’d buy that for a lot of money and would give it away to anyone that asked because it would change the world for the better.
But right now I’m forcing my self to write. It’s painful and slow. But it is the only way I’ve found to get over that crushing overwhelmed feeling. If I sit in it, I’ll feel like the poor guy in the image above. And the longer I sit, the more things are piled on my back.
My wife is an angle and great at getting past the feeling. She can sit down and watch TV for a couple of hours and feel ready to go afterward. She can get a couple of hours of extra sleep and be ready to tackle the world. None of that works for me.
The only thing that works for me is to painfully get things done. Even if it’s the smallest, simplest thing. Even if that thing has no barring on anything else that needs to be done, as long as I get something done it will make me feel less overwhelmed, and then I can head towards something that needs to be done.
I’ve been doing hard bike rides with friends the last couple days and ditching my family for the walk that they sort of want to do as a workout. Walks are okay, but even when I’m carrying a 60-pound pack my heart rate and breathing don’t get up like when I ride hard. So I love the bike rides for exertion. So when even I can, I do as many bike rides as I can a week.
Today, when it was time to go back to walking, the only one that didn’t fight me, was the dog. I almost left him too. But he was so excited about going that I took him with me. Someone might as well be excited about the morning workout. Because by the time I fought with my wife and kid and lost, I had no motivation to go for a walk either.
My walk was kind of pathetic. I went 2.15 miles in 39 minutes. That’s really slow for me. My goal for walks right now is a 15 minute pace. I’ve been hitting about 16 minutes lately. Today was over 18! But I did get out and do something.
I finished my morning routine and started work. This is my work start today. It’s going slow, but getting better as I go. The motivation comes as I work.
I wish I had an inspirational quote here that says start working and motivation will come. That little phrase is what I need to remember.
As I start getting things done my motivation and feeling of self worth come. My overwhelmed feelings go away as I get anything productive done.
Maybe this will work for you, maybe it won’t. But start moving and you will get motivated to move more. Start working, and you will be motivated to get work done. Start smiling and you will be motivated to smile more. The thing I have to do is start. Then my motivation will come.
What works for you? When that overwhelming feeling hits, how do you get out of it? Does it just pass or get worse? Do you have a ritual or something you have tried to get it better?
Leave a comment below on what has worked for you and what hasn’t. We can all learn from each other and become better.
Being better is what this blog is all about. Make yourself better, then make the people around you better, and we can make the world a better place.
Do you want to be better? Of course you do. You are reading this blog.
This blog is all about making you better, so you can make the people around you better, so they can make the people around them better, and we can make the world a better place. It’s a slowly but surely plan and I’m working it.
Are you with me? At least in the part of making yourself better? Make yourself better, and the rest will follow.
These 13 Steps to Self Improvement came from Jack Spirko at The Survival Podcast. This is step 7-13. Do the first six and finish up with these and you will make your life better.
Step 7:
What concerns you? What can you influence? and What do you control?
This is from the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. With everything wrong in the world you need to know what things you can control, what you can influence, and what just concerns you.
You have a giant circle of concern. Most everything on the news tonight concerns you. Riots everywhere, Russian collusion, the Rona is going to kill everyone, and voter fraud, are all examples of what is on the news right now that may or may not concern you. These things concern me, but I have no way to influence any of them. I can’t fix voter fraud, make Russia help or not help during the election or talk or not talk to President Trump, I can’t stop the spread of the Rona, and the riots are something I actively avoid. It all bothers me. But what can I do to really fix any of it?
I know you have a list that is thousands of things that concern you. And that’s okay. But don’t waste the majority of your energy on anything that you can’t actively influence or control.
The things you influence are probably your family, the business you work for, your friends, and the people you interact with daily. I can ask my wife to do something but I can’t make her. I can give my friends information about things going on in the world but I can’t make them do anything. Because we have a good friendship they might listen to me and act on my advice… or they might not.
The things you directly control are what you do. If you are a content creator like me, create content. I have some influence over whether people like it or not (if it’s any good, or my best work) but I am only concerned that you will like this post and act on it.
Take 15 to 30 minutes and make a list of everything that bothers you and you would like to change or make better.
Now put a number 1, 2, or 3 next to each thing. 1’s are the things that you control and you can change. These should be your number one priority of things you spend energy and time working on.
Put a number 2 next to the things you influence, and a number 3 next to the things that only concern you.
If you have time and energy left over after you work on all the ones, then work some on the twos. The threes you need to just let go. The riots really bother me. I love a good protest, but draw the line at people, any people, getting hurt and other people’s things getting destroyed. It breaks my heart that there are people out there getting hurt and killed in all the mess. And the reason it started this round is that someone got killed. But I really can’t change it. I have to let it go and work on the things that I can change, like helping you be better.
Make a list of the things that concern you, you influence, and you control. Make sure you mark them accordingly.
Step 8
Turn off the news for a week… just a week.
I alluded to this problem in Step 7… but it’s a problem. When was the last time you saw something positive on the news?
The news on TV and internet videos are toxic and will make you angry, upset, and pull you away from those things you can control and influence.
Don’t believe me? Find a story from a news outlet on the internet that has the story and a video about the story. Read the article then watch the video. How did you feel after reading the story? How different did you feel after watching the video?
Give up the news for a week. If something big happens that influences you, someone will let you know. I promise.
Giving up the news for a week can show you just how much influence the talking heads on the TV have over you. Don’t let them.
Turn off the news for a week.
Step 9
Review Step 4 “How can I” questions and add notes on how to answer the questions.
Look at all those questions of things you want to do, have, or not to do. Ask those questions to yourself and write down anything that comes to mind.
If more questions come, write them down.
Make this list big! It’s okay to want a lot of things. Make the list of answers big also. Even the crazy, far-out-there ideas might give you something that you can use.
Work on it for 15 or 20 minutes. You’ll be surprised how many ideas come to mind and what new questions you ask yourself.
Review your “how can I” questions from Step 4.
Step 10
Take an action on any one of your “how can I” questions from Step 9.
Find the one that you can do today, or even right now. Go through your questions and answers. Add to them if you have more ideas. Find the one idea or action that you are excited about and can execute today or right now.
If none of them are really exciting, just find one thing you can do right now.
If you are like me, I want to be more physically fit. What can I do about that right now and what is on my list? On my list are: do the Slow Carb Diet, drink more water, do a hard workout every day. If I was unmotived to do anything else, I could simply go fill up a cup of water and drink it. Or I could do a workout, plan a hard workout and set a time for later, or do meal prep and planning so that I eat what I should on the diet.
You can have anything you want in life, you just can’t have everything you want in life. Pick one thing and go get it. Then you can go after another. Don’t be an ADD squirrel on crack. Do one thing right now… then do the next thing.
Take at least one action on one of your “how can I” questions right now.
Step 11
Accept the fact that you deserve exactly what you want in life, you just haven’t done the work yet.
Most of us, and I use to be one, drive to work every day and see someone out running or having a good time and secretly want to be them and resent them at the same time.
A lot of people hate rich people but they want to be rich.
If you resent other people for having the things you want you have put a mental block in your brain that says those people are bad and you don’t want to be a bad person. You will sabotage yourself or, if you are like I use to be, you simply don’t do the work for years thinking there is no way to get that. And if I could, it’s not worth it. So, I sat around and watched TV.
You have to have a meeting with yourself and look into the mirror. You have to get past any bad feelings about the things you want. Despite what anyone anywhere tells you, it is okay, and even good to have the things you want… as long as you do the work to earn it.
What ever it is that you want, you deserve it. Now go do the work to get it.
Step 12
Find people that have what you want and examine what they did to get it.
Find someone that is doing, having, or creating what you want. And then you can take their lessons and do it your own way.
Make a list of people that have what you want. Make a list under each one of what they are doing to get that. I was even more specific, what are the things they are doing that I’m not, to have that thing.
Try to think of at least five people. You don’t have to know them personally, and they don’t even need to be alive. But what do they have that you want, and what are they doing that you are not to get that thing.
Don’t have one hero for this. Every person is just a person. If you make that one person your hero, they are going to let you down. They are not perfect. They are just a person. But they are doing something awesome to get what you want. Write it down so you can add that to your how-to questions later.
Find people that have what you want and figure out what they are that you aren’t to get it.
Step 13
Work your list! Today and every day until you get what you want.
Go over parts, if not all of your list daily. And make a note or two. You can do this in the five minutes that it takes your coffee to brew in the morning. Or take a couple of minutes while you enjoy your morning caffeine to look over the list and make a couple of notes.
I started anther note book and just put a couple things down everyday.
Three sections are in my daily notebook. What’s great, What’s not, and How can I _____? I list a couple of things under each heading and go on with the day.
Now that I’ve been doing it for a while. My brain is already answering the how can I question before I can even finish writing it.
This morning I have two How can I notes. First, how can I get a course that I’m almost finished with up for sale. By the time I finished writing it, my brain said SCHEDULE THE TIME!. And it was yelling at me. So I scheduled some time to work on it tomorrow.
My second was how can I do better at my job search? My brain again was yelling at me, do the stuff out of the book 48 Days to the Work You Love! So today I’ll be working on that schedule instead of just reaching out and doing applications.
Once you do this for a couple of days, your brain will be screaming the simple answers to you. Now all you have to do is the work.
Work your lists every day.
Conclusion
That’s it. It is that simple. This does so many things that all the gurus say. Actually, it does everything that every self-help guru I’ve ever listened to says to do… almost.
The only thing that seems to be missing is a formal goals program. But I think it’s there, just in a different way.
I’m working my lists.
How about you? What’s on your list and what are you doing today to get what you want? Put your answer in the comments below.
13 Steps to Self Improvement
Aug 27, 2020
Show notes
How you can create a self improvement plan in just 13 steps.
Do you want to be better?
Do you know how to be a better person?
How many things have you tried to be better?
You are reading this so I know you want to be better. Me too!
I know you have read, heard, and tried a bunch of different things to make your life better. Me too!
I found this program from a survival specialist named Jack Spirko. He runs The Survival Podcast and I have been listening to him for years. Not because I’m preparing for the end of the world, but because I want to be better today. He does a bunch of shows on self-help and business.
He is not a self-help guru or business that tells other people how to have a business as their way to make money. He actually makes a living from his podcast and does the self-improvement and business stuff on the side to help people.
I do this self-improvement thing on the side as a way to help people. And really it’s my journey to becoming a better person.
I’ve worked these 13 steps to self-improvement for the last month and have been more productive and feeling better then I have in the last couple of months.
Most of the steps are just asking yourself questions and then writing down the answers.
I know, like you, it seems too easy to work. But is it too easy to try? Give it a try and see how it works for you.
Step 1:
What don’t you want in your life?
Get a notebook and write it down. Everything you can think of. Take a couple of minutes and think about it. What is your life right now that you don’t want to be a part of your life. It could be people, feelings, things, or lack of things.
My list started with obesity, hypertension, debt, laziness, and sadness. Don’t steal my list, make your own.
What is in your life that you don’t want in your life?
Step 2
What do you want in your life?
Generally, you can start with a list of opposites from the step before. But what things, feelings, people, and statues do you want in your life.
I started with physical fitness, money, and joy.
Your list could be a simple inverse of Step 1 or could be as long as the things you can imagine. Sit down and write down your list.
What do you want in your life?
Step 3
Where do you want to build a life?Why?
If you could pick anywhere in the world to live, work, and have a life, where would it be? Now, what are the things that you really want from that place?
If you want to live on a beach, why? If you want to live in the mountains, why?
My sister lives in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in Central California because she loves hiking, running, mountain biking, and snowboarding. She lives there because she can go out her front door and start hiking up a mountain.
List the things that you want from that place. Now start thinking of someplace realistic you could be in your situation to have as many of those things as you want. Where would that be?
I live on the outskirts of San Antonio because I love Texas and the people. I want access to my own shooting range and places I can go to shoot competitions. I would love to have land that I can shoot and hunt on. But that is unrealistic for me because I have to make a living and my wife loves the city and having people around her. So I found a range I can be a member of 30 minutes from my house where I can go any time I want and have a bunch of privileges that non-members to have. The membership makes it more like having my own private range.
How can you get the most important things on your list realistically? What location would that be? What State or Country would live at? Near What?
Where do you want to live and why?
Step 4
Start writing “How can I …” questions based on the three steps above.
Your mind is the most powerful computer known. It can figure things out if you let it.
Write down questions like “How can I have my own range?” if that’s one of the things on your list like mine.
More of my list looks like
How can I be physically fit?
How can I have more money?
How can I have a job I love?
How can I get rid of obesity?
How can I help more people?
How do I get rid of debt?
Once you write them down, or as you are writing them down, put a note there on how to answer the question.
Leave some space between each question so you can come back and add more notes later.
As you write the questions down your mind starts working in the background on how to answer that question. Let it run wild and come up with an answer for you.
How can I _____ ?
Step 5
Develop a Financial Plan
More than just a budget, but that’s a good place to start. Check out Dave Ramsey on how to do that.
Once you have your budget, start working on what else you want money for?
Work on a tax plan so you give less money to the government. Not illegal stuff, but things you qualify for under that law. How can you pay less taxes this year then you did last year?
What do you want your financial situation to look like five years from now?
How are you going to get there.
Develop your financial plan.
Step 6
Make a list for everything you have and are grateful for and everything you love about your life.
I know this can be hard. But start out with the simplest things if you can’t think of anything. Do you have all your body parts? There are people that don’t and if you look at a quadriplegic you might be grateful that can move your arms and legs.
Do you have a job? Do they pay you? Do you have a family? Others don’t. Do you have a place to live? A roof over your head? Do you have food on the table?
Nothing is too small to be grateful for. Make a list, not everything, but take 15 to 20 minutes and make a list of everything you can think of. Leave some space and add to the list as you go.
What are you grateful for?
13 Steps to Self Improvement To Be Continued…
Next week will be the second half of the list.
For now, get started on the list. If you did one question a day it would give you time to reflect and think about it.
I started a new notebook, but a piece of paper could work or even an app on your phone. I prefer to write things down.
Stay Positive in a Negative World
Aug 12, 2020
Show notes
How to stay positive when the world is tying to crush you.
I just got back from California where I had to deal with my Mother passing away unexpectedly. As you can imagine, staying positive during that time was hard, to put it mildly.
If you can’t stay positive in life, life will crush you. Part of the positive attitude is a can-do attitude. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Over the years I’ve found a couple of things that help me stay positive. Most of them I used in the last couple of weeks with my family to keep the death from pushing us all over the edge.
How to Stay Positive:
Jokes
Keep your sense of humor and joke about anything you can. I learned this in the Marine Corps above all else. Years ago in Iraq, my Marine Corps unit faced being wiped out more than once. We made jokes about “today is a good day to die” from Star Trek. Most people don’t think it’s funny but we laughed when about 100 Marines were facing a division of Iraqi tanks moving on our position.
My sister is a nurse and she finds the same gallows humor gets her through the hardest times at work. Law Enforcement is the worst and is probably caught the most.
Zig Ziglar had an old story of how his tour bus broke down and he and the crew had to move all the old sound equipment from one bus to another. Once they had everything moved, it was discovered that that bus was also broken. He gave his crew one simple thought about the triple amount of work: you know we are going to laugh about this later, we might as well laugh about it now.
I give you that same advice about laughing. You know it’s going to be funny later, you might as well laugh now.
Think into the Future
I have crazy stories about being in combat with the Marine Corps (like the one above) that are now some of the best stories. You know the hardest and craziest things in your life become some of the best stories. If you look into the future now, just think how great a story this time in your life will be later. Make it that later time.
Misery Loves Company
As you go through negative times in your life, remember to invite your friends. You know the ones that can make a joke about anything. The ones that make you smile. The ones that can help you through hard times and life in general. Life is always better with other people.
Of the worst times in combat, I knew it was going to be okay as long as I had my Marines with me. They helped me and I helped them. Fifteen years later I still talk to them and joke about crap that happened during combat.
Find Positive People
Yes, they can be annoying at times. But, they are the ones that will help you change your outlook. Also, you have to work about being positive or they won’t want to be around you.
I know because I did this. I was a very negative person years ago, but started changing about a decade ago. I’m still working on it and try to be around as many positive people as possible.
The positive people are the ones that will encourage you to do great things. The ones that are working on great things and ignore people that want to talk about road blocks they may encounter.
Find these people, spend time with them, and actively try and pickup their attitude towards life.
I have, and my life is more enjoyable because of it.
Read/Listen to Positive Material
And stop watching the news! The news is always negative and will make you mad. When you’re mad, your life enjoyment will go down. Have you ever met someone that was happy when they were mad?
Find yourself some books, blogs, podcasts, or YouTube videos that are positive. People like Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Dan Miller, and Hal Elrod are my favorites. If your first thought is negative towards these people then you need positivity more than you think.
Find someone you like and starting reading their books, articles, and content. You can find so much free stuff now, that you don’t even need to buy something to get started.
But, paying for a book is the way to get their best material and is the cheapest investment you can make in yourself. Once you find someone you like, buy one of their books and read or listen to it. It will make your life better.
Go Exercise Outside
You’ve probably heard most of the science behind exercise endorphins and the dopamine hit your brain gets from being outside. So no science here.
What I can tell you is this works for me. I wasn’t making it last week. My mother died and I spent almost two weeks helping my father with her death and cleaning up his house and her life. It was crushing and still is. I was going into a hole of depression and hurt. I’ve had that depression monster take over my life a couple of times and it’s horrible.
My sisters and I went for a bike ride. An easy ride outside changed my mindset. Yes, I physically hurt after the ride because I borrowed a bike and didn’t have riding shorts, gloves, or even a helmet. But my mental attitude changed for the better.
So the next day, I did it again. I was physically in pain from the day before and popped some Advil to feel better, but went. And felt even better.
You can feel better too. Go for a hard walk or something outside. Push yourself a little and it will make you feel better.
Take a Break
If you are going through crap, take a break from the crap and do something you enjoy.
Yes, it will take you twice as long to get through the crap, but your mental health will be a lot better. And your life will be better for it.
I know it sounds counter intuitive, but it try it. It will make your life better.
Celebrate Little Wins
Sometimes the smallest wins are the ones we skip. I did this for years. I just kept looking to the next thing and never stopped to celebrate.
One time I did celebrate a little win and bought the first round of drinks for people to celebrate, one guy got a DUI that night and another guy got kicked out of the program for an alcohol involved incident that we all celebrated getting into.
I’ve since got past that. And now I look at celebrating small wins.
The last two weeks with my mother’s estate needed to be wrapped up, we celebrated every phone call with the bank complete, and every account that was closed. It was a lot.
The small celebrations can keep you going towards the big goals that need to get done.
Routine
Create one! Set yourself some time limits on everything and anything you do. This doesn’t only include work, but your fun time too (make sure you put that in your routine). You can set a day a week to do anything, or a plan a weekend to go away.
But also plan to work and what stop time you will set. Set your fun time and breaks too. Those trips down social media holes… it’s okay as long as you set an end time and actually stop doing it.
Most of us, me included, work until we can’t really work anymore and then take a break. That break turns into hours because we get sucked into whatever we are doing for a break.
Don’t let that happen to you. Set a time to end everything before you begin. I can play video games all day and will if I don’t set an alarm to get back to work. On the other half, I will work until I can’t see straight and can’t think right. At that point my work sucks and it will take me three times as long to get done.
Set your times and days. Set that routine of what you will do when.
If you make it a routine it will start happening and you will enjoy your life more, get more done, and be a better person.
Eat Better
I’d love to say eat right, but who really does that?
When I have hard times the diet seems to be the first thing that goes. I eat crappy ice cream, cakes, and drink beer that I shouldn’t. I think it will make me feel better… and it does for the moment.
But like most things, the moment doesn’t last and the next day I feel like crap. If we could make decisions for the long term every time, eventually it would catch up to us and we would be happy.
We are all week sometimes, doing better next time then you did this time will make you feel better. And fueling your body with better food will make you better.
I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to stay positive when I don’t feel good.
Drink Water
Another you knew that, but sometimes we forget. I always want to drink something besides water. I love Monsters and beer, but both aren’t really good for me.
I don’t notice the first couple of days or even weeks that I don’t drink water and drink my other favorite beverages, but it comes back to haunt me sooner or later. I’ve reached the later and had to make a conscious effort to drink water over other things.
It’s a little thing like eating better, but it will help your mind, body, and soul feel better, then you can make the conscious effort to stay positive even when the world is crashing down around you.
Conclusion
I’m still working on grieving and pain. My Mom died. But working on the list above I was able to be more positive about the time I spent away from home and with family.
Honestly, now that I’m home, it’s harder than when I was taking care of problems. This week I’ve been concentrating on getting my routine going again. I feel better (making it easier to stay positive) when I get things done. My routine is how I get things done.
What about you? How do you stay positive in this crazy world we live in?
Ben Branam
P.S. Try the 75 Hard Challenge to start learning this stuff yourself. Granted I learned all of this the hard way (and am learning it again). I’m hoping you can be smarter than me and learn from my experience and not have to learn this the hard way. Sign up for the free 75 Hard starters guide here.
The Challenge of life and 75 Hard
Jul 23, 2020
Show notes
Here is the secret to any life challenge you will face… keep going. If you get off course, start again and keep going. That’s it. That can solve any and all life challenges for you. But the question is how do you get back on track once life challenge kicks you hard enough to knock you down?
Two weeks ago I was ready to knock it out of the park with my side hustle. I was ready to double down on working and making things happen. A life challenge kicked me square in the head. I thought I had my dream job in the bag after the third interview and it turns out they decided to hire the other guy. Whatever… their loss. So I was going to work double on my business and a couple of hours a week looking for another dream job.
Then, what always seems to happen when you are dealing with one life challenge? Life does what it does and kicked me harder while I was down.
I got a call from my sister that my mother had gone into the hospital and it wasn’t good. Cancer was the word of the day and we had to wait for one last test. The test came back and that was it… she wasn’t going to make it.
Two hours later at 8 pm I had my family packed up and we were on the road to California from Texas. Flights where few and far between because of Covid-19. I would have had multiple stops and layovers. I could actually make it faster by driving 19 hours. So on the road we went to drive straight through the night.
About six hours from the hospital, she passed. It was heartbreaking to make the overnight journey just to be late. It felt like a massive failure. One that I can never redo because she is gone.
I missed my sisters and father in the hospital but was able to meet them at my childhood home. It was no longer mom and dad’s place… now it was only dad’s house.
I spent the last two weeks helping dad put his finances in order, cleaning up the house, helping my sisters, and doing all the things that need to be done when someone passes. It sucks… a lot.
I’ve done very little to nothing to help myself or my immediate family. I haven’t worked, worked out, eaten well, or even bothered to take my daily vitamin. I was at my father’s house for as long as I can work, then headed to my in-law’s house to sleep. Repeat.
This is the first time I’ve sat down to do anything. This is the time when we make our break ourselves. I want to make myself.
I want to be working again. I want to be working. I want to eat better. I want to make time to take care of myself. I want to take care of my wife and kid. I want to spend time with close friends. And I want to help my father and sisters.
How do I turn I want, into what I am? How do I find the motivation to make it a reality?
How do you get back on track once life knocks you down?
I’ve found a simple way to restart life. Just to do it. I went to sleep last night and said when I get up in the morning I’m going to read a motivational book (currently 48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller) and then work on this post and podcast.
That’s it. I set a simple goal and a time to work on it. When I’m done here, then I will go over and help my father and sisters again for as long as I can. Then tomorrow I will do the same thing. I will get up, read, work on my side hustle, and then go help my family.
I put my extended family first for two weeks and now I need to put myself first.
You can only put others first for so long before you crash. It might be years, but eventually, you won’t make it. You have to do things to improve yourself every day. Only a little bit, but every day. If you don’t you will become a shell of what you could be.
If you want to learn how to make yourself be first, try the 75 Hard Challenge. You can get a free starters guide here.
During this challenge, you will put yourself first and figure out how to make yourself better. During that time you will learn the mental toughness to keep going and reach small goals. Those big goals take time and are easy to set as dreams. The small goals take work and the hardest part is starting on the first day.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
How to Become a Hard Worker
Jul 08, 2020
Show notes
To become a hard worker takes practice, like anything else. You have to work at it and try to get better all the time.
The 75 Hard Program is designed to help you become a hard worker and make you mentally tough. Mental toughness is required to consistently do hard work.
You can get motivated. You can get pissed off. Both of these will help you do incredible amounts of work over short periods.
I learned these two tricks in Boot Camp and SOI (School of Infantry) while I was trying to become a Marine. We did hikes, runs, and physical fitness tests that I wasn’t I could survive. I noticed our drill instructors didn’t or couldn’t because they switched off making us do work while they took breaks.
It was incredibly challenging. As I went further and further into boot camp I discovered motivation. Not just the word, but actually jumping up and down excited like a little kid going to Disneyland excited. When I had that mental state I could get any amount of work done… for a short period of time.
As I went through training we started doing harder things in SOI. Range runs were fun… run about 5 miles with all your gear and extra weapons systems to train with. It was a cheap way to get us from the armory to the ranges. Vehicles are expensive and time consuming to book. Running just means getting on the road and going for it.
Some of the range runs felt impossible. I had so much crap on me and then was carrying large machine guns and rocket launchers (M240G and AT4’s) at the time. The pace was quick as the instructors were carrying water and not much else. The students were required to carry full packs, individual weapons, body armor, and helmets, on top of water and food for the day.
As I picked up equipment from my fellow Marines that were falling back I found that I would get pissed off at them for leaving me with all this extra gear and not pulling their weight. I would yell at them and that would motivate me to keep going. Once they fell out and got into the emergency vehicle, I’d just get more pissed and be fuming as I ran to catch up with the rest of the group.
Both those techniques worked for short bursts, but Boot Camp was 13 weeks. I couldn’t stay motivated for that long. Mental toughness came in. Just keep grinding day in and day out.
SOI was 9 weeks. I couldn’t stay pissed off the entire time… I tried. I had to get the mental toughness to kick in and finish the course or get recycled to try again. If you didn’t make it the second time you could be kicked out of the Marine Corps. So I dug in and kept going. Despite having strep throat at the end, I finished with my class.
That was 1999. Since then my mental toughness hasn’t been where I want it to be. I want to do an incredible amount of work for myself, my business, and my family. But I’m tired. My back hurts. I’m out of shape. I’m fat. I just need a break. I have a million reasons to not be a hard worker. But that’s not what I want to be or do. I want to be capable of incredible amounts of work.
Being a hard worker takes mental toughness and practice. After boot camp and SOI, my practice came and went. My mental toughness went up and down as challenges came and went.
My life quit being tough after I got back from Iraq the last time in 2009. So I started getting softer and softer, both mentally and physically.
In 2019 I was listening to the MFCEO Project Podcast (now the RealAF Podcast) and Andy Frisella outlined his idea for a 75 Hard Challenge. I was driving home from Houston to San Antonio after working there for a week to get on a plane and head to Las Vegas for a friend’s wedding.
I was so impressed by the idea of learning how to get my mental toughness back and being able to be that young Marine again, that I took notes while I was driving, figured out how I was going to do it with the rest of the drive, and then created a start date. I was to start the day I got home from Vegas. I started the day I got back. It didn’t go well that first day and I missed a workout and had to restart. That second time, I went straight through and started to be mentally tough again.
Over the last year, I have done more work than I use to and feel better then I did for years. I still have a long way to go to be physically fit again, but I am getting a lot more work done on my business, this web site, and with my family, than I use to.
I use to come home from work, thinking I put in a hard day, and want to lay around the house until bedtime. Just so I could get up and do it again. After I finished 75 Hard I was getting more done at work and doing things with the family when I got home.
My wife was so impressed with the change of my attitude that she tried the 75 Hard Challenge with me later (you can see our journey at 75 Hard Round 3). We both completed a modified version of it together. I think I got more out of it then she did. But we enjoyed doing the challenge together.
If you want to be a hard worker you have to practice and become mentally tough. The best way I’ve found, outside of Marine Corps Boot Camp and School of Infantry is the 75 Hard Challenge. Take the challenge and complete it and you will be a new person. A better and harder worker, not only at work but at home and in the things you want to be good at.
Go do your challenge! Get your free starters guide below.
The problem with negative bias comes when you use it as an excuse not to act. When you actively look for the negative reason not to do something it will keep you from succeeding in life.
Cosmo just did an article about the 75 Hard Challenge. The thesis statement of the article seems to be don’t do it, it could be harmful to your health. They go on to poop on each of the five things you have to do for the 75 Hard Challenge:
Follow a diet
Work out twice a day
Drink 1 gallon of water
Read 10 pages of a business or self-help book
Take a progress picture every day
The article brought on a couple of experts to tell you how bad the 75 Hard Program would be for almost anyone.
One of the experts concluded that if you failed the challenge it would be worse for your mental health. It sounds like the expert was saying, why even try.
The author said the program was so bad that “We’ve decided not to link to this and other concerning and/or triggering content.” I’m triggered by the crap this lady was spinning and I won’t link to the article either. You can find it at Cosmopolitan dot com / health-fitness / a32908784 / 75-hard-challenge / if you want to cut and past it in.
Reading the article with critical thinking turned on actually hurt my head.
My favorite is the survey questions:
“had you heard of the 75 Hard Challenge prior to this article? Yes 32% and No 68%
“Will you try this challenge?” “HELLLLLL NO. 46%. and “I’m still a lil interested, TBH.” 54%
Apparently I’m not the only one that reads things critically.
The point of going over the article is to say you can always find something to support your negative bias. You can always find a reason not to do something, and therefore you should do nothing.
When you use your negative bias that way, it will keep you from accomplishing and doing anything in life.
If you use your negative bias to find the things that could go wrong and plan a way around the obstacles to get what you want, now you can win at 75 Hard and in life.
Life challenges: Are you up to it?
Jun 17, 2020
Show notes
How do you handle life challenges?
Zig Ziglar (the best book is Born To Win get it on Audible and listen to him read the stories) talks about how a doctor prescribes medicine. After the doctor has you take the meds for a couple of days he wants to know if your body is responding or reacting to the meds.
You want to hear the doctor say your body is responding to the meds. This means the medicine is doing what was intended and the reason for prescribing the meds is going away and you are becoming healthier.
You don’t want to hear the doctor say your body is reacting to the medicine. That’s like saying this is going to hurt a little. The doc is trying to say nicely that we have a problem. The medicine is causing more problems and not really fixing your original issue.
Things in life will always give us the chance to respond or react to any situation. We have a choice.
Right now I’m on the way to the interview of my life. I think it is the job I was born to do.
I would have never gotten this chance if the world hadn’t gone crazy this year and I got laid off.
I had a good job and was enjoying most of it. But it was just a job, not what I was born to do. I didn’t wake up every day excited to go to work. This new job is something I’ve always wanted to do and thought of as my dream job for years. Now I have the chance to get it.
Wish me luck on the interview.
I chose to respond to my world being turned upside down. It was one of the best things that could have happened to me in the long term. In the short run, it was painful and still is. But I can respond or react. I’m working every day on responding.
You can do the same thing.
If you simply react you are doing something someone else is pushing you towards. If you respond, you stop, think, and come up with a solution to your problem.
I learned this by doing the 75 Hard Challenge (sign up for free starters guide here). It’s made me, through voluntary hardship, learn how to respond to problems not just react to them.
Throughout the 75 Hard Challenge, I had to do multiple workouts and four other habits that had to be completed a day. When work went long, I had to reschedule my workouts. When work needed me someplace, I had to get up early to get my workout done.
You will always have life challenges. In fact, if you do a 75 Hard Challenge, in those 75 days I think you will have something hard happen to you. It will cause you hardship and work. You can respond and find a way around your problem that is advantageous to you, or you can react and just have a problem that might or might not get dealt with.
Deciding what to do ahead of time helps you do what you want during hard times. So decide right now. What are you going to do the next time you have life challenges?
What can you do to help someone else out right now?
What skills and talents do you have that you could use to help someone that needs it?
Last weekend I helped train a church security team (that’s my other side hustle at ModernSelfProtection.com) with firearms training.
They needed the training but didn’t have the funds to pay me. With COVID going around I haven’t had much to do, so I went anyways and gave a half-day course for free. It cost me an hour drive each way, ammo that I expended, and straight up time in the Texas heat. But I was able to use my skills and talent to do something about their problem.
These times are trying… just like most times in history. It always seems worse when you are in the middle. I think we are climbing out of COVID but the world is going to need help getting back on track.
You have a special talent that you can do exceptionally well. Sometimes you get paid for it, and sometimes you do not.
Right now, with so many people trying to get back to work and make a living again, almost all of us could use a hand up with something.
I know you may not be on top of the world, but sometimes you just help someone up so someone else can turn around and help you. Or you push someone up, and then someone pushes you up the ladder of success, and then you can turn around and give someone else a hand up.
Right now, I encourage you to be generous with anything you have in abundance.
I have time in abundance right now because I was laid off in March. So I could go help a church that needed it with a day of my time.
No matter how bad things feel right now for you, you have something in abundance. What is it? And how can you help another person with it?
Your talents can be used in abundance as the gift they are to help other people.
I’m a true believer in what goes around comes around. You help someone when they are in need, they will turn around and help someone else. Eventually, it will come back to you full.
What can you do to help a person around you that you know is struggling right now?
Even a text message or call to check up on them could mean more then you could ever know.
Do something, today, to help someone. It’s worth it!
Our TOPPODCAST Picks 
Stay Connected
