After failing in the second week of my fifth 75 Hard Challenge, I’m 3 for 2 right now (I’ve finished three and failed two), I’m looking for things to push my life forward.
This week I started using the “Power List” from Andy Frisella. It’s a simple concept; just make a list of five things you are going to get done today and then do them.
Most “gurus” out there say make a list of three things and get them done. I could never cut my day down to three things. I always have more things to get done then that. I tried three at home and three at work for a while and that still sucked and didn’t work. But five seems to be the magic number of things I can get done.
More then five big things a day I’m struggling and not getting things done and feel like crap. Less then five things on my list and there isn’t enough room on the list to put things that need to get done.
Today was a good day. I got my list done (almost, this post is the last thing on my list).
I make my list the night before and then stick to it the next day. I get those five things done above all else. Once those five things are scheduled and getting done, then I have room for other things.
These five things are my big rocks. Everything else gets filled in around them. It’s a simple life hack that will improve your life greatly.
Brett from the Art of Manliness explains Stephen Covey’s principle well.
This is a little thing I’m going to try and change my life with. Andy Frisella has said it was the greatest tool he used to become successful.
The only trick I found is to review the list constantly (like once an hour) all day to make sure you stay on task.
Day 15 of 75 Hard: Failure is an Option
Dec 07, 2020
Show notes
Failure is an option in everything we do in life, and it happened to me a couple of days ago.
Every self-help guru says failure is just a learning opportunity. They may be right but it doesn’t seem to help.
Last week I failed 75 Hard. I missed one of my five things and then thought, I’d just keep going. Then I did it again the next day. Then the day after that I missed another thing. By day four of missing, I just quit lying to myself thinking I could keep going and quit doing everything on the list.
”Failure is an event, not a person.” Says Zig Ziglar and I’ll just have to start again to win the next round… maybe.
At this point, I feel crushed and don’t want to try again. I’ve got too many things going on at work and life around the holidays that how could I have ever thought I could do this.
These thoughts are creeping in on me. Do you have the same problem? Do these horrible thoughts creep in and try and take over your mind and spirit? We’ve got to kill these thoughts to move forward.
I was reminded of an old joke from taking a spec ops course as a Marine, the idea of the good idea fairy. She is everywhere. She is there to help. She is a good idea to add to all the things that are going on so you can do more better. But in reality, all the good ideas just get in the way of what you have planned and what you need to accomplish.
The instructor said take that “good idea fairy” out back and kill it! I just want to figure out how to take that feeling of failure and “stinking thinking” (also Zig Ziglar) out back and shoot it.
I want to be free of the thoughts of failure, of not being good enough, of not being able to get something done. I’m just not sure how to do it… yet.
I’m working on it. One of the ways I made it go away was to accomplish something in my life… anything.
This week I’m accomplishing going back to the gym to work on getting strong. I’m going to start lifting again and get my strength back. I love the gym but haven’t been there since March.
Then the day after Christmas I’m starting a 75 Hard.
Are you with me? Do you want to do this together?
Screw waiting for January to do a New Years’ resolution. Let’s start early and get something done.
Leave a message below and let me know if you are in!
Day 10 of 75 Hard: The Secret to Accomplishment
Dec 03, 2020
Show notes
What’s the secret to accomplishment? Just keep going…
It’s day 10 or 75. I have a long way to go. But that doesn’t bother me. I’m having a problem with the diet.
I’ve been on the diet for 10 days now and haven’t lost a pound… sort of. I lost 3.6 and then found it again in a week. I’m 0.9 pounds heavier than when I started. I was super excited about losing weight and was completely on board with the diet…
Now that I am back up almost a pound in 10 days is a real bummer. I almost want to quit…. almost.
But the secret to accomplishing anything is to keep going. I wrote about completing the mission on day 5. Now I just have to remind myself to keep going.
Over 20 years ago I was given the example of moving a large dirt hill. It must have been two or three weeks into Marine Corps Boot Camp and the Drill Instructor gave us all the secret to anything.
He started his story by saying it would be easy to get a large tractor and a couple of dump trucks and move that hill anywhere. But what if you don’t have that?
“If all you had was your fellow recruits and an MRE spoon, could you still move that hill?” An MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) comes with a long-handled plastic disposable spoon that will probably hold a tablespoon worth of dirt. “If you start and just keep going, eventually you’ll get it done.”
He was right. We don’t have to have everything to start. But once we start we can get inventive as we go. All I was thinking during the story is that we can start that way, but I will be figuring out a better way as we go. The secret to accomplishment, once you start, is just keep going.
If you want to get there faster, you have to iterate as you go. Moving that hill with a spoon would have taken the Platoon (100 recruits at the time) about six months. But we had to get fed. More MREs means more spoons, and bags to fill, and…
When it comes to getting out of crappy situations, Marines are geniuses. We would have figured out how to get it done fast. Let’s face it, moving a hill without heavy machinery is a crappy situation.
What thing are you in right now that you should just keep going to finish? Do you have everything you need? Or are you just going to keep going and figure it out as you go?
The people that just keep moving forward and figure it out as they go are the ones that will accomplish anything.
Are you going to accomplish a mission or complain that you don’t have the equipment to get it done?
Day 5 of 75 Hard: Complete the Mission
Nov 29, 2020
Show notes
I continue on to complete the mission… no matter what.
As a Marine I was taught that mission completion was above everything.
To complete the mission was more important then an individual Marine, then yourself, or the Marines in your command. Giving my life seemed easy. Losing my Marines seemed impossible.
As a young Marine, I was given missions constantly. Then as a Platoon Sergeant, I was given bigger missions and even had to write my own. The missions were all more important than anything.
Even the missions I gave my Marines had to fit into the ConOps (Concept of Operations) or what the goals of the commanders above me were. And they needed to complete them without fail.
Now that I’m out of the Military, I find my missions not as important and less than motivating.
Now and then I find a mission that is worth putting as much effort in as when I was in the military. The 75 Hard Challenge is such a mission and I’m treating it as such.
Every so often in life, you should take on a task that you will complete or die trying. Some people find extreme sports, some people run marathons and triathlons. Some never find something more important than themselves.
It seems that we do very few things that we would actually do or die trying in our modern world. What is the last thing you did that you were going to complete or die trying? Not many things these days.
A mission is something you will do. There is no stopping or giving up. A mission that is truly important you will complete or die trying.
It’s hard to put a name to it for many people. Military men and women just have something different from them. It’s this quality that makes military members different than normal people.
Pick up a “complete the mission” attitude like a Marine would. Learn that you do tasks, but you complete missions.
Set your missions in life carefully. Once you figure out what your mission is, go after it with everything you have, and don’t let anything stop you.
Day 2 of 75 Hard: The Slow Carb Diet
Nov 25, 2020
Show notes
The Slow Carb Diet is the only diet I’ve been able to stay on and lose weight.
My five things to do for 75 days that makes this the hard challenge.
Slow Carb Diet
Miracle Morning
Drink One gallon of Water
One Thing to Advance my Career or Business at Work
Snap-in
These are the five things I need to do for 75 days to complete the challenge.
I picked the five things that I think will advance my current life right now. I am going to do all of them for 75 days.
The slow carb diet is something I found in Tim Farris’s book, “The Four-Hour Body“. It was a good book, but the diet is the thing I took away from it.
I like the diet because it is easy, I can stick to it even when I go out to eat with clients, family, and friends. I can do it on the road, at work, and at home. I needed something I could take with me everywhere and this diet is it.
Like the 75 Hard Challenge, it has five things you have to do to stay on the diet:
Avoid “White” Carbs
Eat the Same Meals Every Day
Don’t Drink Calories
No Fruit
Take One Day Off per Week
Most of these are pretty simple and I can do them at home, at work, out with friends, and I can always schedule my day off for a day that works for me. Click here to learn more about the Slow Carb Diet.
I’ve been overweight almost my entire life. Even when I was close to making weight to join the Marine Corps I had people telling me I was fat and how to lose weight. I’ve become an expert on how to lose weight because everyone has told me how…. everyone.
For a long time, when I was younger, everyone I met that was older than me told me how to lose weight. It sucked to meat someone and have them tell you, “What you need to do is more push-aways. All you have to do is push yourself away from the table.”
Everyone had an opinion about how I should lose weight. And everyone one of them was worth what I paid for it… nothing. None of it worked.
In fact, when I lost weight to get rid of almost 100 pounds to join the Marine Corps I just started working out twice a day and ate one big meal a day. In about a year I lost about 80 pounds and then quit eating a little more and working out harder so I could lose the last 20 pounds. I missed by six and got a wavier to join the Corps.
At boot camp they had a strict diet, but I cheated. I still lost weight because of the intense workouts that were life as a Marine Corps Recruit.
When I got out of boot camp was probably the last time I made the weight charts to be a Marine. I had to do a body fat analysis to stay in the Marine Corps. And I did for years without problems. Then I put on a little weight. And then a little more. And pretty soon it was out of control.
Now I’m 320 pounds right now hoping to lose 20 during this challenge. I was 355 about two years ago before I did my first 75 Hard Challenge. That was painful. Now I’m trying to go the right way.
The Slow Carb Diet is the only diet I’ve ever been able to actually stay on for more than a week or two.
And I found that is the secret. You can find some fad diet and then just will your way through. It will work for a couple weeks or months but somehow you will always find the weight that you lost. I wish I could find my keys that easy…
If you have a lot of weight to lose, you need to find the thing that works for you. Ignore what everyone says… even your doctor at times. When I was young and losing weight my doctor liked that I was losing weight but didn’t like the way I was losing it. He can suck it!
Now I found a way and even have my blood work done every six months or so to make sure things are going the right way. My current doctor doesn’t approve of the diet either, but since I’m losing weight she can do the same thing as my other doc.
Find what works for you and go for it! Keep going until you find a reason you should stop.
Day 1 of 75 Hard: Just Start
Nov 24, 2020
Show notes
So I just started.
I was trying to plan a big run so that I could do a 75 Hard Challenge with you, but couldn’t wait.
With my new job and a lot of things going on in my life I need a couple more wins. The 75 Hard program is a great way to win in life no matter what else is going on.
If you haven’t done the original plan, that’s where you should start. Do these five things every day for 75 days.
Work out 2 times per day, 45 minutes each, at least 1 has to be outside
Drink 1 Gallon of Water per day
Take a Progress Picture every day
Read 10 pages from a non-fiction self-help or business book every day
Stay on a perfect diet you choose
I’ve done that and won. Now I’m motifying it a little and doing the things I can to push through and make my life better.
My 5 things for this 75 Hard:
Do the Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod every day
Drink 1 gallon of water per day
Stay on the Modified Slow Carb Diet
Do 1 thing at work to advance my career and/or the company
Snap In
That’s my list!
What’s yours?
If you could pick five things that you did daily that would advance your life, what would they be?
Leave them in the comments or send me an email with them. I’d like to know what your five things are!
Personally Surviving Covid-19 and the Mindset that Made it Possible
Nov 18, 2020
Show notes
Surviving Covid-19 with mindset
I survived Covid-19. I had it bad. I’m not sure it would have actually killed me, but I was convinced if I had to be admitted to the hospital my chances of dying shot up 10 fold.
So I kept myself out of the hospital by convincing myself I was going to survive and creating affirmations to tell myself in the mirror.
Multiple times, more than one doctor looked at hospitalizing me because of my low blood oxygen levels, the severity of my symptoms, and my lack of recovery.
I got Covid at a convention October 9-11(Friday, Saturday, Sunday). By Monday I was having a runny nose and congestion that was really bad. I thought I had a sinus infection and called a Tela-Health thing that is attached to my insurance and free. Tuesday the Dr. said I had bad allergies and gave me some prescription meds.
The Meds helped and I felt a little better. By the end of the week, I felt okay and just thought it was allergies. But Friday night (Oct 16) I felt horrible and went straight to sleep after working at the gun show.
I woke up Saturday morning for work feeling like shit. I went to work and felt horrible all day. I drank lots of water and caffeine to survive the day.
Saturday night I went straight to bed and slept for almost 14 hours. I had the shivers most of the night. Sunday I went back to work and felt even worse. But again, water and Caffeine let me get through the day.
I had no choice about work because I was out of town at a show and there was nowhere else to go or anyone else to do the job. So I worked sick.
Monday I went in early to the real job to get some work done. I did it, but by the afternoon I was not doing well. My boss let me take lunch and get a Covid test at CVS.
My CVS test was supposed to be a 15-minute test, but there was none available when I got there. The lady said it would take about a day. So I got the test from them. I should have gone somewhere else.
I went back to work and was there for another 15 minutes before the boss said go home, you look horrible. I went home, crawled into bed, and stayed there for the next five days.
I waited until Thursday to get my results. The results should have taken overnight. I won’t be going back to CVS… thank you.
The results didn’t matter. Because by the next night I had every symptom on the Covid list. My temperature even shot up to 103! But I flipped the script. I went mind over matter.
I knew the numbers on survival. Those numbers go way down when you go to the hospital. I convinced myself I wasn’t going to the hospital.
I started telling myself, I wasn’t going to the hospital and I was going to be fine. I started doing affirmations in the mirror.
My temperature went back to normal the next morning. I suffered through another day just telling myself I will get better… It was painful.
Thursday morning I got my results and a couple of hours later throughout my back. It was excruciating! It was off to the left side so I knew it was muscular, but severe muscle pain is a symptom that you should go to the hospital.
I convinced myself it was just something that happened unrelated to Covid. I set an alarm and every hour, on the hour, I would half crawl, half drag, myself out of bed. Get a bottle of water and go into the bathroom to look into the mirror.
To look myself in the eye, I had to hold myself up by the bathroom sink. But I did it.
Every hour I told myself it doesn’t matter how bad it gets. I can take the pain. I’m not going to the hospital.
By Friday morning that toon was a little different. I wanted the pain to stop and by then was taking Tylenol, Aspirin, and Advil to be able to stand.
But every hour, on the hour, I went to the bathroom, drank water, and caused myself out in the mirror. I said, “Look here mother fucker! You are not going to the hospital. You are not going to die. And you are not going to leave your family. It doesn’t matter how bad it gets. Suck it up pussy!”
This became my motivation for the next couple of days. Finally, the pain started going down and my movement ability went up. And I started to recover.
The following week I actually could get a little work done sitting in bed. I was still exhausted and could only work for 30 minutes to an hour at a time and then had to take a break. But I continued forward.
By the end of the week, I was up walking around. By then the VA said I was no longer contagious and I went out and did a site survey on a property for work. I didn’t have to talk to or be around anyone. I just had to walk around the property and make notes.
After that, I mowed the yard that weekend. Monday I did another site survey and Tuesday went back to work.
It was scary there for a while. And my wife was freaked out. I’m sure when she reads this she will wish she had made me go to the hospital. But the medics would have to have carried me against my will to go.
I pushed through with mindset alone. Your mindset and your vision for what will or will not happen is the greatest tool you have to get through anything. All you have to do is believe it and you can overcome 99% of the things you will face.
Take my example and the next time you have an impossible task, put your mind right, and get the task done.
The Secret of Life: Just Keep Going
Oct 08, 2020
Show notes
The secret of life is easy… just keep going until you get what you want.
Life isn’t over until it’s over. If you just keep going, sooner or later you will get what you want. Sometimes you find a way to shift along the way, but you just keep going.
I got a new job and still have the old job for another two months. I just have to keep going. I’m working without a day off for almost two months. I think my next day off is Thanksgiving, or if I’m lucky the weekend before. I’m good with that. I can make it.
I have the job I want but promised the last job that I would stay on until the end of the year. That’s already changing to look like the middle of November. I’m good with that.
So I just keep going. At first, I thought I was going to have to honor my word and work until the end of the year. My days off would have been Thanksgiving and Christmas. But it’s already looking better. I just have to practice the secret of life, keep going and things will work out.
Pushing forward is the only way to get what you want.
I got my new job two weeks ago and am now putting on weight. I haven’t had the time or energy to work out. That is changing tomorrow. I have a workout scheduled for after work.
My career is back on track, and now I need to keep my workouts, family life, and friendships on track too. Something has to give for now, as I am in a season of work (see my last post on work). If you are going to let one area of your life slip, you have to build up the others and so you can afford some downtime.
I have great family relationships and my friendships are good. If I let those slip a little during my season of work I can pick them up and keep going after this season is over. A season in nature is three months. If you keep to that, you will do fine. When your seasons become longer, it becomes a problem and you might do irreparable damage to those areas.
So master the secret of life, keep going in all areas no matter what happens. Balance yourself in the seven areas of life: Career, Social, Financial, Family, Physical, Mental, and Spiritual.
If you use the secret of life in all 7 areas of life, eventually you will master life. You will love your life and what you are doing.
Now go practice the secret of life. It’s what I’m doing right now.
There is a season to plant, there is a season to harvest. There is a season to rest and there is a season of work.
I had my season of rest while I was unemployed. Now I have two jobs and it is a season of work.
I’m not complaining, but my next day off is Thanksgiving! Two months straight. I’ve done worse. I’ll be okay.
Be careful of what you wish for. Now I’m in a season of work.
I finally found a “real” job that pays really well and wants me to work for it. I already agreed to help a friend on the weekends until the end of the year. I keep my word. So work is what I’m doing.
I work Monday through Friday at the real job and then on weekends to help my friend. The money is good, I just have to work for it.
I don’t mind the work. In fact I welcome the work. To be productive again.
What does the word “work” mean to you?
My kid thinks it’s a four-letter word and shouldn’t be used in polite company. He hates it when I talk about work.
Some people see work as that thing people were cursed by God in the Garden of Eden so long ago.
My wife is nutural about the word.
Me, I welcome the word. I welcome a chance to do something productive for pay. I enjoy it.
Do you look forward to work, or look to it as a “have to.”
Changing your mindset is easy. Say I got to work instead of I have to work. And find a job that you say I get to go to.
Right now I get to go to a real job, I sell car wash equipment for AutoBrite in San Antonio and am loving it! I also sell firearms on the side for Sparks Firearms on the weekends at shows. Both are great jobs and I love selling stuff to people.
I get to learn what people want and need and help them get it. I guess I have a personality for sales and have found my true profession late in life. I just didn’t want to be a widget salesman like so many I’ve met. I found products that I have a passion for and love learning about and talking about.
I get to work.
How about you? Do you get to work, or do you have to work?
How’s Your Emotional Control Doing?
Sep 16, 2020
Show notes
My emotional control isn’t doing well right now. Do you ever have that feeling when your emotions run away from you for the stupidest reasons?
Pick your favorite
This last week has been a roller coaster for me!
I’m looking at a new job in a new industry and really excited about it. When anything happens that is unexpected it makes my anxiety kick in.
Nothing more unnerving than the unknown.
I’m trying to cope. After 40 years of working on it as a man, and 10 years in the Marine Corps, where I was trained to control my emotions, I still have issues. Is emotional control a life long process?
I think learning to have control over your emotions is a life long process. Some of us are better at it than others. I feel like I’ve been better at it in the past.
Emotional Control comes down to three things:
Recognizing your emotions are there
Taking a breath
Making your tone and body language appear the way you want to feel
Or you can break that down to only 2 steps if you want to; see it coming, then fake it until you make it.
Recognizing Your Emotions
Yes, we all have them. Yes, they get away from us. Yes, we can hurt people’s feelings. Yes, you can do things you don’t want to do when your emotions come up without you recognizing them.
Step one is recognizing your emotions are there, are coming, or are overflowing.
I know, you are an analytical person. To quote Zig Ziglar, “In a pigs eye!” Have you ever gotten excited at a movie? Cried over anything? Been sad? Been happy? Been in love? Or even had a good time?
Of course, you have done at least a couple of those things. So you aren’t completely analytical. You do have some emotions. I just want to control those emotions so they don’t come overflowing out at the wrong time to the wrong person.
My problem is my emotions are not always happy and loving like I would like them to be. I’ll bet you have problems with anger and sadness too!
I’ve had the depression monster after me in the past and that sucks more than any other emotion I’ve ever had.
You have to just accept when something happens, good, bad, or indifferent in your life, you will have an emotional reaction to it. Your feelings are there, are coming, or are overflowing about whatever happened.
My problem is the emotions come and then I push them at other people. My favorite emotions seem to be anger and contempt. I say they are my favorites because they are the ones that come up the most. And both cause me to say and do things I don’t want to.
So recognize that the feelings are there or coming. You can’t get around it. You are a human being.
Take a Breath
In the nose, out the mouth. In and out. Easy.
Step two, take a breath before acting, responding, or moving.
If you can stop yourself from immediately saying or doing what comes to mind, you can stop a lot of problems in your life.
Do you know anyone without a mind-mouth filter? Are they a lot of fun to be around? How about when that filter gets turned off when talking about you?
We all want honesty with a big side of compassion. When I speak without taking a breath and considering my emotions, horrible things come out of my mouth in a way that makes people feel belittled.
While belittling someone was an art form in high school, once you are out of college it is a horrible way to make friends, succeed in business, or just be. Because no one will want to be with you if you are always talking down to them.
Take a breath. It gives you a second to make sure you say and do what you really want to do.
Make Your Body Language and Tone Reflect the Way You Want to Feel
Yes, fake it until you make it.
I’m trying to teach my kid this right now. He says something scornfully out of the side of his mouth like he is biting off a horrible statement. When I say you look mad, he says no I’m not. I’m always telling him, well then let your voice and face know that you aren’t mad.
It doesn’t matter what you really feel inside. People will notice how your body language and tone of voice are and assume that is your emotions.
If you really want emotional control, you fake it until you make it.
After you recognize that you have emotions, and take a breath, you can formulate how you want to be about a situation.
And sometimes anger, disappointment, shame, and sadness are sometimes the right emotions to display.
My mother recently passed away. When anything truly bad happens in my life, I push it aside and find other things to fill my time and mind so I don’t have to get angry or have sadness overwhelm me. A lot of my family thought I didn’t care that my mother died. Of course, I did but my tone and body language didn’t really display it.
Most people don’t have a problem with displaying sadness and anger. My anger runs away with me all the time and comes out in a horrible tone towards my kid and wife. The worst people I could reflect anger at are them, and I let it fly all the time. I’m working on it.
I’m trying to fake it until I make it with my emotional control. I don’t want to show my family I’m angry when it doesn’t have anything to do with them. I know you are the same way.
Emotional Control
I am working constantly trying to control my emotions. Times like this my emotions seem to come at me at the cyclic rate (a military term meaning as fast as a machine gun can possibly fire).
Right now I know you are dealing with some of the problems I am; Covid-19, money problems, missing friends and family, being isolated, and a bunch of other things everyone is dealing with around the year 2020.
Added to that for me are the ups and down with trying to get a new job. I’ll find something that seems awesome, just like I have right now, and then be worried about getting the job. I have another meeting tomorrow with the owner and his wife to discuss what the position might look like and how pay might be structured. This job is hitting a little above my weight class. I know I have the skills and can do it, just the pay and responsibility seem to be one step higher then what is on my resume and I have a little imposter syndrome going. I’m afraid the owner is going to see that and not want me.
All of that is stupid but is all there. As I get excited about the position, the highs get higher, and the lows get lower. And they come faster for me. So I’m working to control my emotions.
What step do you think is missing? Do you think there should be one more? Or something different?
Ben Branam
Leave a comment and let everyone know so we can learn from each other.
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