372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

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Episode 98 – Quilters Ep 2 – Big Baby Braxton Apr 20, 2021

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Join the fun in the 372 Patreon! Last week we all relived Conor’s humiliating Jeopardy loss together. Plus every episode early, contests, and other bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages

Get the book here!

The number of characters continues to rise along with the body count, as the Quilters’ anti-drug battle (aka putting up a modest number of posters) rages on! Outside of blowing up the interstate off-ramp, is there any way to stop the menace of X-Bars?? Plus we’ll examine the tragic end of Cutler, PA’s former police chief and get to meet a huge new baby.

For next time, finish the damn book!

Episode 97 – Quilters Ep 1 – A Small, Intimate Podcast Apr 05, 2021

Show notes

Join us on Patreon to get every episode early and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages

Get the book here!

Ah, the Clinian Cloud has lifted and the 372 Pages studio is cozy and smells of pork, sauerkraut, beef stew and cake – lots of cake!

Conor dives to the dark web, Mike tries his hand at the brand new Real or Fanfic and there’s a surfeit of Dumb Sentences! Please share this podcast with any member of the McMillan family except Macy!!

For next time read through Chapter 21

Episode 96 – Book 16: The Quilters Push Back Mar 23, 2021

Show notes

Get the book here!

The task: announce book number sixteen. Forty-seven minutes later the job is done! Why? Because Conor and Mike are incredibly enthusiastic about the new title. I mean, one of our favorite “Real or FanFics” before we even crack the book open?!

This is going to be great!

Here’s a link to the book. For the first ep, we’re reading through Chapter 10

Ep 95 – Ready Player 2 – Suddenly, and Without Warning, We Finished the Book Feb 26, 2021

Show notes

Learn the next book before anyone else! Join the fun on the 372 Patreon. Bonus eps, Meet the Authors, Discord, and more! patreon.com/372pages

An epic podcast! Mike and Conor discuss the deep philosophical implications of Van Hagar, of avatars putting on haptic suits, of the personification of the collective intelligence of all humanity saying things like, “You’re not gonna win, doofus!”

Cline was always in way over his head (from the second he thought to himself, “Hey, I should write a book”, of course), but when he moves away from listing his favorite video games and 80s songs into the realm of gigantic action scenes and the notions of what it means to be human, um, it doesn’t go well.

Coming soon — what’s the next book?!

Episode 94 – Ready Player 2 – Apparently, We Were Surprised to Find Ourselves Still Reading This Feb 09, 2021

Show notes

Join the fun on Patreon for bonus Real or Fanfic, improv with special guests, and surprisingly, earnest analysis of classical music! patreon.com/372pages

If you had taken a second mortgage on your home and placed the entire sum on a Vegas bet that “nothing in this book could possibly be worse than the chapters spent on the John Hughes planet” I am sorry and I hope you can find another home. Because the chapters on the Prince and Silmarillion planets are not only worse, they are the worst things ever created by humankind, and that includes all of our wars and the invention of hot pincer-based torture.

Conor takes on the Real or Fanfic challenge, we read some mail, and discover some very very dumb sentences.

For next time: FINISH THE DAMN BOOK!

Ep 93 – Ready Player 2 – Rolling our Locked Wide Eyes Jan 25, 2021

Show notes

Ernest Cline’s runaway best seller continues to disgust and annoy us, even as it approaches the home stretch. In this episode we wrap up the seemingly endless John Hughes quest by meeting an actual John Hughes NPC (not actually John Hughes). Then we’re off to Halcydonia, where we all try to pretend that Zoobilee Zoo wasn’t a terrifying TV show. Then it’s off to the Prince Planet, where our characters alternate between weeping about their abusive childhoods and trying to go hump things at virtual strip clubs. It’s just great.

All this plus the long-awaited merging of the High Five and the Low Five, Fanfic or Real, and Dumb Dumb Dumb Sentences.

Support the podcast on Patreon and get early access to every episode plus other fun bonus stuff you’ll only find there! patreon.com/372pages

For next time, read thru Chapter 26. And yeah, Conor’s audio is a bit lower fidelity than it should be, he was recording on a remote rig that was only a heckuva a rig, not a hell of a. It will be fixed going forward.

Episode 92 – Ready Player 2 – Is It GameFAQs? Or a John Hughes Geocities Fan Page? It’s Both!! Jan 12, 2021

Show notes

Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to early episodes, bonus materials, contests and more! Patreon.com/372pages

Conor states with confidence that this episode contains a chapter that is the dumbest and therefore the greatest of any that has been covered by 372 Pages!

The editor has taken her hand off the tiller and what we’re getting now is pure, uncut Cline. That means level-by-level coverage of a video game, stupid-by-stupid vignettes of classic 80s movies like Heat and Curly Sue and, just for fun, a fuel bomb explosion that slaughters dozens of innocents in a city park. But, hey – Samantha has an Annie Potts avatar!

All the departments as well as archival audio of Agatha Christie and a Dark Web gem that Conor found over Christmas while avoiding his family.

READING ASSIGNMENT FOR NEXT TIME: Through chapter 21.

Episode 91: Ready Player 2 – A Constant Loop of Push It Dec 21, 2020

Show notes

After countless pages of Worldbuilding and freeing child slaves when our hero felt like it, Ernest Cline finally lets some things happen in this section. The action kicks off when a Gunter and a Sharter listen to a Morissey song in silence and it doesn’t let up from there! By the time we’re done, there’s been a kidnapping, a shareholder’s meeting, and the rollout of a new firmware update. Also, Cline introduces his most annoying tic yet: telling us information again that he just told us. And by the time we’re done with this section, there’s been a kidnapping, a shareholder’s meeting, and the rollout of a new firmware update.

All this plus Real or Fanfic, Emails, and Dumb Sentences.

Check out our Patreon for a bonus Real or Fanfic as well as some fun stuff next week: patreon.com/372pages

For next time: read thru Chapter 16

Episode 90 – Ready Player 2: Bouncin’ and Blazin’ Dec 08, 2020

Show notes

Don’t miss out on participating in the read along! Join the 372 Patreon and get early access to episodes, as well as a BONUS Real or Fanfic we did this week! patreon.com/372pages
So much to cover:

Conor is shocked at Cline’s revelation that there may be a downside to the internet

Conor is shocked at Cline’s revelation that gigantic media conglomerates may not have his best interest at heart

Mike is delighted when Cline teaches him that social media allows people to share “memes, files, photos and songs”

There’s a gigantic space ark: but what are its data storage needs?
All this plus Real or FanFic, Listener Mail, and the revelation that The 372 Players live in a closet!

READING ASSIGNMENT: Finish Chap 9

Episode 89 – Ready Player Two – Sharters and Gunters Nov 26, 2020

Show notes

Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to every episode early, plus a ton of exclusive bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages

Ready Player Two? Let me ask that again; Ready Player Two?! I don’t think you are!! But Conor and Mike are ready. Having only an evening to read the first few chapters, here are some questions addressed: Did you have “faint numbness” with your previous rig? Solved! Could you feel “tiny craters of pulp” beneath your fingers when you crushed an apple with previous rigs? Solved! Were all your previous efforts in the Oasis “senseless pantomimes”? Yes, of course they were, you Sharter!

NEXT ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter four.

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