Show notes
Denise Pimentel was diagnosed with bipolar 1 in her late twenties, after an abusive marriage, postpartum, and weaning her son converged into an episode that put her in the hospital. She's been hospitalized four times since, had a life-altering stroke in December 2024, and finished the memoir she started during a manic episode in 2017. In this episode she talks about living with bipolar 1 as a woman of faith, what a manic episode actually looks like from the inside, and what it cost her when people told her she just wasn't praying enough.
Denise is a writer, educator, speaker, advocate, and visual artist, born and raised in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn and now based in suburban New Jersey. She's the author of Unshaken: A True Story of a Bleeding Mind, a Broken Body, and Buried Grief, the founder of Glorified Writing, and the host of the Unshaken Voices podcast. She holds a BA in elementary education and history and a master's in liberal studies. This is the first podcast she's appeared on as a guest.
HOW IT STARTED
Denise spent most of her working life in education. In December 2024 she had a stroke that took her out of the classroom permanently. Her husband got her to the hospital in time for a TNK shot to clear the clot, and the recovery is what finally gave her the time to finish the book.
The diagnosis came years earlier. She was in her late twenties, married to her first husband, in a difficult and abusive relationship. She describes her pattern at the time as trying to save people. She'd moved him out to New Jersey to get him out of the environment he grew up in, and she was trying to bring him to God while he was an atheist. She goes back to an illustration from her Christian school chapel, the believer standing on a chair trying to pull the nonbeliever up while the nonbeliever pulls the believer down. She wanted to be the exception to that. She wasn't.
She didn't know mental illness could be passed down genetically. Her grandmother, her mother's mom, was permanently hospitalized when her mother was nine, and was given unregulated shock treatment that made her worse. Her mother lost her own mother to the illness at nine years old. Her grandmother's sister also had mental illness. It skipped her mother and came to her. That family history is part of why her mother initially tried to get her through without hospitalization, because she was afraid of what hospitals had done before.
Several things converged at once. The abusive environment. Postpartum after her first son. Isolation, since she wasn't living near her parents and a therapist had told her to stop talking to her family, believing they were the problem. And weaning. She explains what she learned later, that nursing had been protecting her mind, and that stopping is when things started coming apart.
The first hospital didn't take her in. She hadn't slept in about five days and was having delusional thoughts, and they sent her home with a sleeping pill. She explains why that doesn't work, that in a manic episode the mind overrides even the strongest sleep medication.
WHAT BIPOLAR 1 ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE
Roslyn asks Denise to explain bipolar 1 in her own words rather than clinically, and this is one of the most useful stretches of the episode.
Sleep goes first. The hours shrink and shrink until there are none, and she describes lying in bed praying to fall asleep. Because of that, she keeps a strict sleep schedule year round, including summers when her kids are out of school, because staying up later while still waking at the same time has triggered relapse for her.
Then the thinking changes. In her first episode she hallucinated, saw things above her, and heard voices coming through the baby monitor. She called the police in the middle of the night to ask if it was too late to report an abusive incident, something she says she wouldn't have done in her normal frame of mind, though it did start a process of things coming out. She still can't watch scary movies because of what she experienced.
She's also candid about how it presented in her second marriage. She believed the problem had been the relationship, decided she didn't need medication anymore, and stopped taking it without telling her husband. Then came the paranoid thoughts, that he was cheating, that he was hiding money, about a man she describes as having taken care of her from day one. Anxiety climbed. She checked the locks over and over before bed, which traces back to people trying to break into her home growing up in New York.
Her hardest part to convey: when you're in an episode you believe you're right about everything, and you don't listen to the people trying to catch it.
WHAT ACTUALLY HELPS, INCLUDING IN A MARRIAGE
Denise names four things as the core of managing bipolar 1: seeing your therapist, taking your medication, using your community or family, and seeing your psychiatrist.
The practice she recommends most is joint therapy. She sees her therapist individually and also sees the same therapist jointly with her husband every two weeks. Her reasoning is that the therapist hears everything from her alone, advocates for her, helps her work through her thoughts, and over time also knows her husband well. When she's struggling to trust her own feelings, there's a third party who can ask her what she's feeling, ask him what he's feeling, and serve as a voice of reason for both of them. She's clear this isn't a confrontational marriage, it's someone helping keep a good marriage together.
She's honest about how hard the first breakdown was on her husband. He'd never met the version of her that showed up, accusatory and mean and not who she was, and he almost left. Her father came and explained, and her sister-in-law, a nurse, told him it wouldn't be permanent and that she needed help.
They also started doing couples devotionals together after that first breakdown, buying several and working through them, which she says has produced some of their best conversations and put God first in the marriage.
Roslyn names what she's hearing as a wall of protection built out of community, accountability, and support, and points out that isolation is the first thing to go when shame is attached. She also names the piece Denise models well, that trusting your support enough to say "what I'm thinking may not be true" is not evidence something is wrong with you.
FAITH, STIGMA, AND "YOU'RE NOT PRAYING ENOUGH"
When Denise was first diagnosed she couldn't believe it. The public reference point at the time was Britney Spears, and she remembers looking at the paper and asking God how this could be her diagnosis. It didn't turn her away from God, but it was confusing, especially with people in her life telling her she didn't need medication and people in the church telling her that her faith wasn't strong enough and she wasn't praying enough. Her response: she didn't do anything for this to happen, and she had always been a strong believer.
She also describes something she's since read about in other people with faith backgrounds, that when she becomes manic her religiosity heightens. She tells the story from her book of sitting in her living room during her first breakdown with her current husband, looking up at a skylight where the frost looked like an eye, and hearing God say "you're the chosen one." She's careful about this. She knows now that wasn't actually God, and she also believes that moment is when everything changed and she found the calling to write the book.
Her advocacy message now is that your hardest seasons can become the transformative thing that leads to a new purpose. She believes her stroke and her mental illness were what God used to move her life somewhere she could help other people, and that people who think they're nobody have a story that can turn pain into purpose.
The church piece gets addressed directly. Denise was told that if she left her marriage she would be setting her children up for divorce, because her own parents had divorced. She also admits she wasn't bold then, didn't tell the full truth, and didn't want to make anyone look bad, so the church wasn't working with complete information while her ex-husband was minimizing what was happening.
Roslyn pushes back on the cause-and-effect theology underneath the "not enough faith" line, pointing out that belief itself is what ties us to Christ, and that God causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. Believers aren't absolved from pain. The question is how God is with us in it.
THE BOOK
Denise started Unshaken in 2017 during a manic episode, writing at night while her husband slept, because in mania the words come faster than the hand can keep up. She set it aside when she went back to teaching and picked it up again after the stroke, when a cognitive therapist asked if she could write and told her writing is healing for stroke recovery. She wrote weekly while her brain healed. It took seven or eight years total.
The book covers her life from childhood in New York through the traumas, the first breakdown, the diagnosis, and the stroke. She's clear that she put the traumas on paper not to complain about them but to show what God did. She also talks about how afraid she was to publish, and how she told her ex-husband ahead of time that she used no names. They're on decent terms now. He's apologized, he's a good father to her son, and she declines to badmouth him.
The stroke chapter centers on the TNK shot. She was told there was a seven percent chance the shot could kill her, and that seven felt like ninety. She describes everything freezing while she had a conversation with God, telling Him that if He wanted her here after the shot she would still be here. She heard Him say take the shot. She took it.
After publishing, with Matthew 16:18 printed on the cover, she got an invitation from the New Jersey Governor's Council to be part of a breaking the stigma event. She was surprised that a government body invited a book with a Bible verse on the front. Her framing of her own message is that she doesn't tell anyone they need to become a Christian. She names what she needed: her faith, her community, her husband, her doctors, and her therapists.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCED
- Matthew 16:18, the gates of hell shall not prevail, printed on the cover of Denise's book Unshaken.
- Genesis 15:6, referenced by Roslyn as Abraham believing God and it being counted to him as righteousness, used to make the point that belief is what ties us to Christ rather than performance.
- Romans 10:9, paraphrased by Roslyn as believing that Jesus died and rose and confessing it with your mouth.
- Matthew 5:45, referenced by Roslyn as God causing rain to fall on the just and the unjust, used to say that believers are not exempt from pain.
- Also referenced without a citation: "beauty for ashes," used by Roslyn to describe what God has done with Denise's story.
LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED
- Denise's website: glorifiedwriting.com, where you can find links to the book on every platform
- Unshaken: A True Story of a Bleeding Mind, a Broken Body, and Buried Grief, available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Kindle
- The Unshaken audiobook, available on Audible, which Denise narrated herself after getting scammed by someone she paid to record it
- Glorified Writing, the business Denise founded
- Unshaken Voices, Denise's podcast
- Denise on LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok. She points people to LinkedIn for the business side.
- The New Jersey Governor's Council breaking the stigma event, which invited Denise after the book published
- Couples devotionals, which Denise and her husband buy and work through together as a practice started after her first breakdown in this marriage
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