Relationship Advice

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**Relationship Advice**

Relationship Advice helps listeners uncover the stuck spots in their relationships by taking expert advice from three licensed professional counselors and boiling it down into digestible tips and tools. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren help people to see that the first step to connecting with somebody else is by connecting with you. They focus their show on understanding and navigating the cycles that couples face, how to practice individuation, and staying in an emotionally regulated state. Just them each week as they come with a jam packed agenda to help you thrive in your relationships.

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Latest Episodes:

Finding The One? Try Becoming The One: QUICK ADVICE with Monica Berg Oct 08, 2026

Show notes

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Stop trying to “find the one” — focus on becoming the one.
A strong relationship starts with knowing yourself: your values, purpose, patterns, and who you want to become. The danger is expecting a partner or marriage to somehow complete your growth for you.
The right relationship should help you become more yourself, not less.
Monica’s Michelangelo vs. Golem distinction is probably the strongest concept in the episode: a healthy partner helps reveal a version of you that you also want to become. An unhealthy dynamic tries to sculpt you into the person they want you to be.
Relationship satisfaction has a lot to do with how we interpret our partner.
Early on, we naturally magnify the positive; later, we can start magnifying the negative. Healthy relationships require intentionally cultivating appreciation, challenging our assumptions, and reframing what’s happening instead of automatically concluding, “My partner is the problem.”

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The Fight Is Not About The Fight Oct 05, 2026

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Why do small everyday annoyances so easily turn into explosive arguments?

When couples get stuck in repetitive friction, the surface issue is rarely the real battleground. In this episode, we explore how superficial conflicts actually point to deeper emotional needs, and how stepping back allows you to move from defensive cycles into genuine connection.

Main Talking Points:

Underlying Relational Drivers
Power And Control
Closeness And Care
Respect And Recognition
Window Of Tolerance
Intention Versus Impact

True relational resolution isn't about winning an argument over surface logistics, but about creating enough safety to understand what is truly being triggered. When you look past the immediate friction, every conflict becomes an opportunity to deepen trust and mutual care.

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*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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Why You Keep Having the Same Sex feat. Laurie Watson Sep 28, 2026

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Why do so many couples find themselves stuck repeating the same awkward sexual patterns or avoiding physical intimacy altogether?

True sexual connection isn't about forced perfection or quick mechanical fixes, but about building attachment security and communicating openly about your erotic mind. In this episode, Dr. Laurie Watson unpacks how to navigate desire discrepancies, tolerate vulnerability, and reframe sexual friction into deeper relational safety.

Main Talking Points:

Sex Therapy Beyond Mechanics
Tolerating Awkward Intimacy
Attachment In The Bedroom
Individuation Fueling Erotic Energy
Managing Desire Discrepancies
Debunking Common Sex Myths

Great sex doesn't require flawless performance, but rather the courage to tolerate anxiety, honor differences, and stay curious about one another. When you turn sexual friction into honest dialogue, awkwardness becomes a doorway to genuine connection.

Visit Dr. Laurie Watson's Website: https://www.lauriewatson.com

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Why You Keep Dating The Same Person In A Different Body: Dr. Gillian O'Shea Brown Sep 24, 2026

Show notes

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Dr. Gillian's Book!

We often repeat the same relationship pattern with different people because familiar pain can feel safer than uncertainty.
Noticing the pattern is the beginning of change—but lasting growth requires identifying the unmet need behind it.
The “erotic emotional map” helps reveal recurring dynamics by describing the qualities of past relationships.

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Stop Taking Your Partner's Feelings Personally Sep 21, 2026

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When your partner walks through the door in a bad mood, do you immediately wonder what you did wrong or rush to fix it?

Taking your partner's emotions personally turns their everyday stress into relational friction, forcing them to manage your reaction on top of their own feelings. In this episode, we unpack the shift from carrying emotional responsibility to offering true empathy, giving both of you permission to feel.

Main Talking Points:

Personalizing Versus Empathy
Unpacking Emotional Responsibility
Breaking Fixing Cycles
Tolerating Partner Discomfort
Reducing Emotion Layers
Frameworks Over Scripts

Secure relationships aren't built on avoiding uncomfortable feelings, but on cultivating the capacity to tolerate and hold space for them together. Real connection happens when you allow feelings to be felt without making them about you.

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Quick Advice: HALT Sep 17, 2026

Show notes

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What Happens When We Betray Ourselves With Jessica Pressler Sep 14, 2026

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Free 10 Day Couples Challenge

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Why do we so often find ourselves repeating the same painful relational patterns even after promising to choose differently?

In this episode, therapist and author Jessica Anne Pressler joins us to unpack how early protective survival strategies can evolve into adult self-sabotage. By shifting our attention from dissecting a partner's flaws to understanding our own internal boundaries, we move away from reflexive self-abandonment and step toward deep self-compassion and relational security.

Main Talking Points:

Unpacking Internal Self-Sabotage
Reframing Childhood Coping Mechanisms
Navigating Narcissistic Relationship Dynamics
Overcoming Relational Self-Abandonment
Cultivating Deep Self-Awareness
Integrating Protective Inner Parts

Healing begins not by fighting the parts of us that try to keep us safe, but by offering them the self-compassion and internal leadership they were always looking for.

Connect with Jessica Anne Pressler:

Jessica Anne Pressler's Website: https://www.jessicaannepressler.com

Jessica Anne Pressler's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicaannepressler

Give Me Discounts!

Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!

Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.

*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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Why Anxious And Avoidant Attachment Styles Aren't Red Flags with Dr. Diane Heller Sep 10, 2026

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In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter talks with Dr. Diane Heller about anxious, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized attachment patterns. They explore why these patterns are often intelligent survival strategies—not character flaws or relationship “red flags”—and how early relational wounds can shape the way people experience closeness, conflict, and love. Dr. Heller explains that everyone has an innate capacity for secure attachment and that understanding these patterns can help partners respond with more compassion instead of blame.

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How Neurodivergence Plays a Role In Relationships Sep 07, 2026

Show notes

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When everyday friction is automatically read as a lack of effort or affection, couples often get trapped in painful, defensive loops. How do we move away from assigning negative intent and toward honoring the literal differences in how our brains process the world?

In this episode, we unpack how neurodivergent traits—like executive dysfunction and sensory processing differences—can show up in relationships, and how framing these realities through the lens of individuation creates a path toward genuine safety and collaborative connection.

Main Talking Points:

Executive Functioning Differences
Cognitive Processing Variances
Sensory Profile Mismatches
Interoceptive Sensation Nuances
Mono Tropism Rigidity
Unmasking Relational Safety

The goal isn't to force a single, shared reality onto two different minds, but to build enough safety and curiosity to accommodate the unique ways you both navigate the world.

Give Me Discounts!

Kiwi Fodzyme- Get 30% off your first order!

Tanasi- Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.

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Stop Saying "I Feel Bad" Sep 02, 2026

Show notes

Join us in Relationship Academy to continue the conversation!

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In this episode of Quick Advice, Colter and Cayla jump into why one partner might just say "I feel bad" rather than tapping into the emotion they are actually feeling. It can be frustrating for both partner! Let's discuss.

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