Not An Adult

Latest Episodes:

The Absolute State of The UK Right Now. Oct 25, 2023

Show notes

Welcome to Series 2 of NAA!
In this episode, we'll catch you up on our life and current plans, discuss noteworthy events in the UK and worldwide, offer some valuablish tips, share some hilarious stories and have a good old moan about the UK.
Enjoy the journey, its good to be back! ❤️

The Phillip Schofield Iceberg: Sinking Titatanic Submarines & Bank Robbery Jun 28, 2023

Show notes

In this thrilling episode we delve into the world of the Phillip Schofield, try to figure out what happened to the missing titanic submarine and provide you with all the latest tips to improve your life, you know the drill.
SHOW BEGINS AT (07:21) :D
PHILLIP SCHOFIELD ICEBERG = (32:07)
Welcome back to your midweek guilty pleasure, we are back now after a short break while we sort our lives out. Podcasts will be every fortnight until christmas and then back to our weekly schedule. All is explained in the episode :) ENJOY.
-TIMECODE-
(00:00) - Intro
(07:21) - This Weeks Shii Top Tip
(19:36) - NAA NEWS
(32:07) - Phillip Schofield Iceberg
(43:07) - Storytime
Love ya lots see ya next next Wednesday! <3

Festival Smuggling Tips and How Masturbating With Hair Removal Cream Feels. May 24, 2023

Show notes

This weeks show is brought to you by pure dehydration, we sat in the sun drinking all day as most of England did this weekend so prepare yourself for a distinct lack of enthusiasm and large quantity's of self pity. We explore everything from Festival smuggling tips to men smuggling scissors into prison via there bati. So get strapped in and enjoy the ride.
- We are currently planning ALOT outside of this podcast for future projects which we will be discussing in our next few episodes so thank you for your support and understanding, as promised we will NEVER miss an episode but this weeks had to be shorter to litterly fit it in! <3 Love you all lots and lots and we will see you next week!
-TIMECODE-
(00:00) - INTRO
(00:48) - What we have been up to this week!
We are both extremley hungover and slightly overworked but overall excited for everything we are currently planning! Lauren talks about her First Aid posistion which she has stepped down from after only being paid £7 a month for incredibly hard work and Rudi talks how he has been working on our new website - NotAnAdult.com
(06:13) - This weeks shiiii top tip!
Laurens got some MEGA festival tips for you this week including how you can smuggle alcohol into venues and also how to never lose your tent at a festival!
(12:31) - NAA News with Lozza
Vegan family complains of BBQ smells passing into her garden.
X Factors Wagner joins onlyfans and nobody wants it.
A driver is pulled over for speeding but switches place with his dog.
(21:52) - NAA News with Rude, LIVE from Denmark.
Smuggling scissors into a prison, ouch.
A german surgeon has been sacked for asking a cleaner to assist him.
(26:18) - Storytime!
Ring sting after spicey food.
Using hair removal cream to masturbate ends terribly.
Sticking hands in a toaster like a fool.
(34:34) - OUTRO
Sorry we had to cut the episode slightly shorter this week, we are both working incredibly hard outside of this podcast to improve and bring new additions to the show and we are also launching a seperate businsess on the other side of planet, we will be talking about it all shortly in the next few episodes! Just know we are not slipping we are BUSY <3
Love ya lots see ya next Wednesday! <3

This is What Happens When You Drink Cider in the Sun All Day. May 17, 2023

Show notes

Get ready for an alcohol fueled journey this week, the twin rocket boosters were at full tilt from the outset and throughout and subsequently the G-force caused some effects on speech, you may notice it becomes slow n slurry but its actually just how fast we we're going.
- Also we have got fully to grips with our new studio, we hope you enjoy the new spacious sound <3
TODAY ON THE SHOW
(00:00) - NEW Intro!
Since we upgraded the studio, we thought we should upgrade everything else. We hope you enjoy the new atmosphere of daftness :)
(00:49) - What we have been up to.
Rudi's been working on the new website, its still got some work before its finished but you can check it out here: NotAnAdult.com / Lauren explains why our guest couldnt make it this week.
(08:12) - This weeks shiiii top tip.
Laurens got 2 belters this week and its all based around cleaning hacks, one of which will sort your dirty microwave out.
(13:07) - NAA News with Lozza.
Ed Sheerans hen ends up getting an asbo.
Hotel manager sucks on guests toes.
Man gets caught driving without a license but hes been driving for 50 years.
(32:00) - NAA News with Rude - LIVE from Tenerife.
Rudi's been burying a sardine this week.
Michelling Star dining experiences from the edge of space.
A couples 80k extension gets knocked down.
(40:00) - Football Desk with Martin & Brian.
Brians completely lost the plot this week and didn't even get the scores.
(42:00) - Storytime.
Guy mistakes a brown paper bag for his brother.
Sleeping with girlfriends mum.
Peeing and girlfriends.
Naked and Lost.
New bong gives me salmonella.
(54:32) - Topics.
Conspiracy theory's, the little 3ft people and stoned ape theory.
(58:14) NEW Outro.
Thank you for tuning in! We will be back in your ears next wednesday! <3
If you'd like to contact us or submit any stories, AITA, confessions, or just want to chit chat, you can do so in person or anonymously. Head over to NotAnAdult.com and scroll down to send straight to us!
"If you are enjoying the podcasts so far please leave a rating/review on Apple or Spotify, this really helps us out, more than you think! Its free and only takes 2 seconds! xx "
SEEYA NEXT WEDNESDAY! X

Boris Johnson Arrested For Drink Driving In Ukraine, sort of. May 10, 2023

Show notes

Quantum Computing could be the cure to ageing and many other problems that exist today, it could also become best pals with Ai and destroy your nana and mine too. Either way we need to be prepared and informed, so you've got that plus a load of other completely unrelated stuff like 51 year old men being tied up naked in the woods and left to be found by cyclists n stuff, but yeh. Enjoy the best podcast you accidentally found this week...

Today on the show:
(00:47) - ANNOUNCEMENT.
New studio info and updates on next weeks guest appearance.
(01:51) - What We Have Been Up To This Past Week.
Our friends cat died so we gave it a proper burial and had a wake at the caravan, rudi on his way to work got bird poo splatted across his forehead and lauren talks about this jokes nerf game we played last night.
(06:08) - This Weeks Shiiiiii Top Tip.
Lauren hits you with a double bubble this week and shes got some golden infomation regarding ants and ways to avoid infestations this summer, she also talks about how you can use Doritoes as a firelighter.
(09:48) - NAA News with Lozza
A 51 year old man was rescued from the woods after being tied up as part of a kinky game.
A missing woman survives 5 days in the australian outback with just 1 bottle of wine and some sweets.
Michelle Obama is fighting the right to rename fire ants to spicey boys, and were behind it.
(20:34) - NAA News with Rude / LIVE from Serbia.
Boar Testicle Festival antics.
Boris Johnson was arrested for drink driving in Ukraine, sort of.
Prince Charles iii coronation happened and how much the party costs that your not invited to.
Quantum Computing and how its going to revolutionize the world.
(33:20) - Football Desk with Martin & Brian.
Manchester 2 - Leeds 1 / match breakdown.
Liverpool 1 - Brentford 0 / match breakdown.
(35:37) - STORYTIME.
Roommate disputes over removal of sausage plunger from communal bathroom.
Spraying kids with a hose on the lawn, suspect.
You like that daddy? Awkward stuff this one.
Shower Bonking goes baaaad.
Job interviews with No2 get wierd.
(51:50) - Topics.
Ai and how it is going to effect the education system and cause disruption to multiple industry's.
Ransomware and how prevalent and some deterrents that are available
- Thank you so much for your support so far! And apologies if you notice the microphones being weird, still tinkering with the new setup to get things right! Onwards and upwards! <3
If you'd like to contact us or submit any stories, AITA, confessions, or just want to chit chat, you can do so in person or anonymously. Contact us through our 24/7 NAA WhatsApp Hotline: +44 7553378431, or email us at Submit@NotAnAdult.co.uk.
"If you are enjoying the podcasts so far please leave a rating/review on Apple or Spotify, this really helps us out, more than you think! Its free and only takes 2 seconds! xx "
SEEYA NEXT WEDNESDAY! X

How To Stage Your Own Kidnapping To Get Out Of Work and Stop iPhone Apps Turning You Gay. May 03, 2023

Show notes

This weeks episode was recorded live from our canal boat holiday so expect drunken rambles from the outset and throughout. We could only take a limited amount of our equipment but we did our best with what we had! ALSO! We have a brand new studio setup we are building this week so expect a brand new higher quality sound, guests and video podcasts from the next episode onwards!!
We also introduce a brand new segment to the podcast THE DEBATE! so let us know what you think, thank you for your support and enjoy the show!
-TIMECODE-
(00:48) - What we have been up to this past week.
Lauren has been to watch a play and talks about old people, Rudi discusses the new podcast studio that is being built and how Not An Adult is upgrading!
(10:07) - This weeks shiiii top tip!
Its a double shiii this week, lauren gives you tips on how to clean pans that have been destroyed by porrige and Rudi gives you some golden info on how to put bin bags in your bin properly.
(13:48) - NAA News with Lozza G
Job alert if you live in Blackpool and have always wanted to be a seagull hunter…
We discuss a new nude vegan restaurant that has opened up in Los Angeles and their particular bouncer policy…
(23:35) - NAA News with Rude, Live from Japan!
A man stages his own kidnapping to get out of going to work.
A man sues his parents for destroying his extensive porn collection.
A Russian man is sueing apple for an iphone app turning him rainbow coloured.
(35:52) Storytime!
Theres too many belters this week to list, lets just say you wont be disappointed haha!
(1:05:00) The Debate! (NEW SEGMENT!)
This weeks debate is on whether you should pick up dog poo or not.
If you'd like to contact us or submit any stories, AITA, confessions, or just want to chit chat, you can do so in person or anonymously. Contact us through our 24/7 NAA WhatsApp Hotline: +44 7553378431, or email us at Submit@NotAnAdult.co.uk.
"If you are enjoying the podcasts so far please leave a rating/review on Apple or Spotify, this really helps us out, more than you think! Its free and only takes 2 seconds! xx "
SEEYA NEXT WEDNESDAY! X

Stealing Money from Family Members and Spunking in a Shoe Box Apr 26, 2023

Show notes

Welcome back to the grey area of the podcast sphere and this week we talk 12 year olds consuming THC Gummies, people getting struck by 60mph cows and a first hand account of the worst surgery a nurse has ever done, honestly its a proper gross episode, enjoy it if you can.
-TIMECODE-
1:08 - What we have been up to this past week.
Rudi & Lauren are both still suffering party blues, Lauren witnesses a car crash on the way home from work and Rudi talks what we did for 420.
9:56 - This weeks shiiii top tip!
This week we supply some state of the art tips on how to taccle hey fever this year, proper groundbreaking stuff...
13:46 - NAA News with Lozza G
Man throws full on tantrum on flight over crying baby.
A 20k Harry Potter wedding gets some stick online.
Marathon runner world record holder gets caught cheating, driving her car....
23:43 - NAA News with Rude, Live from Bosnia.
Fake james bond walks into the office and ends up getting armed response belled.
THC gummies get eaten in class by 12 year olds
Man gets hit by cow that gets hit by train.
29:05 - Storytime!
unbelievably gross this week!
Stealing money from siblings and then doing some nasty stuff to a shoe box.
someone that uses a pair of scissors to chop up there poo.
Story from a nurse
If you'd like to contact us or submit any stories, AITA, confessions, or just want to chit chat, you can do so in person or anonymously. Contact us through our 24/7 NAA WhatsApp Hotline: +44 7553378431, or email us at Submit@NotAnAdult.co.uk.
"If you are enjoying the podcasts so far please leave a rating/review on Apple or Spotify, this really helps us out, more than you think! Its free and only takes 2 seconds! xx "
SEEYA NEXT WEDNESDAY! X

Alien Probes Sent to Earth, Pentagon Files and Politicians Put in Cages and Thrown in the River. Apr 19, 2023

Show notes

The aliens are on route and the humans are focused on my little pony and debates on whether you should bite an ice cream or lick it. This episode was recorded shortly after Rudi's 3 day party so expect low dopamine, impulsive outbursts and lack of cognition from the outset and throughout. Enjoy thaa shooooow. <3
-TIMECODE-
1:13 - What we have been up to this week.
Basically too much partying, we sorted flights for the dog to vietnam and we also have some new microphones on the way!
7:22 - This weeks shiiii top tip
we've got a double shiii tip this week! One of which comes from listener "DAN" from Barnsley! BIG UP!
10:40 - NAA News with Lozza G
Lake district walkers on mushrooms cause locals to call mountain rescue.
Student necks full bottle of rum and almost perishes.
Free vapes to be handed out in england.
25:05 - NAA News with Rude
Pentagon UFO files suggest extraterestrial probability of recent UAP flying object sightings.
Man can only eat easter eggs, mashed potato and yorkshire puddings. He says.
Politicians in Italy get put in cages and dunked in a river.
40:28 - STORYTIME + COMPETITION WINNERS!
We got some gnarly submissions from you dirty dirty b@55dards! Congratulations to our winner who wishes to remain anonymous we will contact you shortly for your £100 Voucher!! And thank you to everyone who got involved in the competition! Plenty more to come! <3
53:06 - Topics
Australian Company Vow creates a wooley mamoth meatball just from cells in a lab.
NYC Police have deployed robot dogs to patrol the street.
If you'd like to contact us or submit any stories, AITA, confessions, or just want to chit chat, you can do so in person or anonymously. Contact us through our 24/7 NAA WhatsApp Hotline: +44 7553378431, or email us at Submit@NotAnAdult.co.uk.
"If you are enjoying the podcasts so far please leave a rating/review on Apple or Spotify, this really helps us out, more than you think! Its free and only takes 2 seconds! xx "
SEEYA NEXT WEDNESDAY! X

Artificial Intelligence on Ketamine, Samurai Sword Monopoly, IKEA Hot Dogs and much more! Apr 12, 2023

Show notes

Greetings fellow humans, it seems we are on the precipice of fully autonomous Ai, so this week as its Rudi's birthday we get extremely wonky and try to tackle the complicated issue of artificial intelligence and its current threat to humanity along with our usual bizzzz. Enjoy the show! <3
-TIMECODE-
1:13 - What we have been up to.
Its Rudi's birthday and laurens planned a mega day, also Rudi complains about the city of Hull and its brown sea.
7:01 - This weeks shiiiii top tip.
This weeks shiiiii top tip is a submission from listener TERRENCE from DEVON and its all things boiled eggs. Proper info you need in your life.
8:37 - A serious problem with this podcast.
A serious discussion on a problem Rudi and Lauren both have and no idea on how to fix it.
10:56 - NAA News with Lozza G
A man engaged to rubber doll is about to have his 3rd kid or something like that.
A man becomes the worlds first person to be infected by a plant fungus disease.
A man wins the lottery 20 times! LITTERLY!
18:33 - NAA News with International Correspondent Rude
A game of monopoly becomes so heated a man gets sliced up by a samurai sword.
Black bear vending machines hit japan!
Australian motorway hacks to avoid toll charges.
25:56 - STORYTIME!
Hilarious nicknames that stick for life.
A weirdo and his strange ritual before job interviews that ends bad.
Finding a random USB on the floor and discovering whats on it.
Getting intimate with a medium is a strange one.
IKEA and there terrible hot dogs.
51:03 - Topics (very wonky this week)
Ai and the current ChatGPT4 worry's and existential threat that humanity may face.
there would of been more but Rudi got waaaay too spannered, but it was his bday so its fair.
If you'd like to contact us or submit any stories, AITA, confessions, or just want to chit chat, you can do so in person or anonymously. Contact us through our 24/7 NAA WhatsApp Hotline: +44 7553378431, or email us at Submit@NotAnAdult.co.uk.
"If you are enjoying the podcasts so far please leave a rating/review on Apple or Spotify, this really helps us out, more than you think! Its free and only takes 2 seconds! xx "
SEEYA NEXT WEDNESDAY! X

Donald Trump, Cheese Kebabs, and the Temparature of Farts as they leave the body. Apr 05, 2023

Show notes

Welcome back to the latest edition of NAA!
This week we learn how to rob trollys from supermarkets without even needing a quid thanks to DAMON from Warwickshire submission, we also talk about cheese kebabs, bring science to the forfront and share the latest data of the temparature of farts as they exit your batti and have some discussions on Donald Trump and his current legal case. And much MUCH more!
-TIMECODE-
0:45 - On a NAA Safari.
1:12 - What we have been up to this week.
Rudi talks driving 1600 miles in 5 days and lauren celebrates as she has broken up for half term, discussions on the worst accents too.
7:40 - This Weeks Shiiii top tip!
This weeks shiii top tip comes in from listener DAMON from Warwickshire and its an absolute belter, Big uuup.
11:11 - COMPETITION ANNOUNCEMENT!
Head over to www.NotAnAdult.co.uk to ENTER!
12:35 - NAA News with Lozza G
New studies on swearing and pain releif, a woman on her 900+ driving test, the drop of cheese kebabs in the uk and its importance.
23:05 - NAA News with international correspondant Rude
Amsterdams had enough of english people and dosnt want them coming anymore, new studies show that sniffing other peoples sweat can cure anxiety and also the latest science update on the temperature of farts.
32:44 - STORYTIME!
Super tame kids partys with a story from us, girlfriends farting in front of boyfriends and discussion
43:11 - Political Curveball sidetrack
51:55 - TOPICS!
Grand national and the activists secret plan to invade the pitch on race day and glue themselves together. Donald Trump to appear in court to face criminal charges.
56:36 - ANNOUNCEMENTS + OUTRO
If you'd like to contact us or submit any stories, AITA, confessions, or just want to chit chat, you can do so in person or anonymously. Contact us through our 24/7 NAA WhatsApp Hotline: +44 7553378431, or email us at Submit@NotAnAdult.co.uk.
"If you are enjoying the podcasts so far please leave a rating/review on Apple or Spotify, this really helps us out, more than you think! Its free and only takes 2 seconds! xx "
SEEYA NEXT WEDNESDAY! X

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