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Your Thoughts Your Reality

Welcome to “Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Mike Cole,” the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life’s challenges. Michael Cole, a Certified Elite Neuroencoding Specialist, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of Neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles: procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more. Together, let’s uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.

Latest Episodes:

Breaking Free from Anxious Thinking: A Neuroscience Approach Jun 27, 2025

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Anxiety isn't just "all in your head" — it's a complex neurological process that can be understood, managed, and even rewired. Brain coach Dominika joins Michael Cole to explain exactly how anxiety works in your brain and provide practical tools that actually work to interrupt anxious patterns.
Dominika breaks down the science simply: anxiety occurs when your amygdala overreacts "like a Christmas tree," triggering your limbic system and taking your prefrontal cortex (the logical part of your brain) offline. The result? You're ruled by emotions, feeling paralyzed, struggling to breathe, and unable to think clearly. But understanding this process gives you power to change it.
Rather than generic advice to "just meditate" when you're anxious (which Dominika explains is nearly impossible in that state), she offers specific, science-backed techniques like mental rehearsal, pattern interrupts, and the counterintuitive but crucial practice of staying in anxiety-provoking situations rather than fleeing. This last point is particularly powerful — when you leave, you reinforce your brain's belief that there was real danger.
What makes this conversation uniquely valuable is how Dominika connects psychology with biology. She explains why checking specific nutrient levels (ferritin, iron, magnesium, and D3) is essential for managing anxiety, why hormone fluctuations during perimenopause can trigger anxiety symptoms, and why taking random supplements without testing first can actually harm rather than help.
Most importantly, Dominika reminds us of neuroplasticity — your brain's lifelong ability to change and adapt. No matter your age or how long you've struggled with anxiety, you can create new neural pathways and responses. With her three powerful tips for veterans and their families, she leaves listeners with both practical tools and renewed hope: who you've been until now has nothing to do with who you can become.

Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:
https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.

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Screen Time, Family Time: Finding Tech-Life Harmony Jun 24, 2025

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Technology has woven itself into the fabric of our daily existence—from how we work to how we parent, communicate, and even think. In this enlightening conversation with Laura Ollinger, a certified digital wellbeing coach and founder of Positively Healthy Coaching, we unpack the hidden costs of our hyperconnected lives and discover practical paths toward healthier digital balance.
Laura shares her personal journey from tech-rule skeptic to digital wellness advocate, revealing how her experience parenting four teenagers transformed her understanding of screen time's profound impact. Rather than viewing digital wellbeing through a lens of restriction, she offers a refreshing perspective focused on what we can add to our lives instead of what we must take away.
The conversation dives deep into "technoference"—how our devices disrupt genuine human connection—and the neurological hooks deliberately engineered by app designers to keep us scrolling, checking, and engaged. Laura explains how these digital experiences trigger dopamine pathways similar to slot machines, creating powerful habit loops that hijack our attention and erode our presence.
Most valuable are the actionable strategies shared throughout: incorporating nature exposure to reset attention spans, establishing healthy work-life boundaries in a culture that expects constant availability, and cultivating what neuroscientists call the "default mode network"—the mental state where creativity and innovation flourish. Laura's approach meets us where we are, acknowledging technology's benefits while empowering us to reclaim control over how we engage with it.
Whether you're a parent concerned about your child's screen time, a professional struggling with digital boundaries, or simply seeking more meaningful connections in a distracted world, this episode offers both the understanding and practical tools to transform your relationship with technology. Laura reminds us that true digital wellbeing isn't about perfection—it's about intentional choices that align with our deeper values and authentic human needs.

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Authentic Power: Embracing Challenges and Overcoming Resistance Jun 19, 2025

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When resistance shows up in your life, are you quick to push through it, or do you pause to consider what it might be trying to tell you? This powerful conversation with retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Tina Parker challenges everything we think we know about resistance and authentic leadership.
Tina, founder of Lead Outside the Lines and a certified neuro encoding specialist, draws from her 23 years of military service to unpack how resistance often signals growth rather than warning. She reveals the critical distinction between resistance that stems from fear of the unknown versus resistance that signals genuine misalignment with our values and purpose.
What makes this episode transformative is Tina's explanation of how our bodies physically respond to resistance – shutting down creativity and higher thinking precisely when we need these resources most. You'll discover practical tools for replacing self-judgment with curiosity and learn how to regulate your nervous system to access your natural wisdom.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when Tina shares research on gender differences in confidence: women typically need to feel 85% confident before pursuing opportunities, while men need only 15%. This "expectation gap" creates unique challenges for women in leadership positions – challenges Tina herself navigated when requesting part-time work in the federal government during a personal crisis.
Whether you're facing internal doubts or external naysayers, this episode offers a revolutionary framework for discernment. Tina's three simple yet profound questions – "Am I in alignment? Am I in integrity? Am I on my path?" – provide a compass for navigating resistance authentically. When the answer to all three is yes, resistance becomes not an obstacle but a signpost of growth on your journey toward truly authentic leadership.
Connect with Tina at leadoutsidethelines.com and discover her upcoming Conscious Leadership Accelerator for visionary women. Your relationship with resistance will never be the same after listening to this episode.

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Radical Forgiveness: Transform Your Pain into Power Jun 18, 2025

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The heaviest burden you'll ever carry isn't physical – it's emotional. Carolyn Ozuna returns to share how radical forgiveness transformed her from living in her sister's basement during a painful divorce to building a multimillion-dollar business and finding her soulmate.
"Forgiveness isn't condoning behavior," Carolyn explains, dispelling the most common misconception holding people back from healing. Instead, it's a powerful act of self-liberation. She reveals five core principles that form the foundation of radical forgiveness: nothing happens by accident, we are not victims, emotions should be fully felt (but only need 90 seconds to process), healing comes through acceptance not analysis, and forgiveness benefits you, not them.
The conversation takes a profound turn when addressing how to find gifts in seemingly unforgivable traumas. Carolyn doesn't shy away from difficult truths – that victim consciousness perpetuates more victimization, while conscious awareness creates new possibility. She shares the story of a client who discovered his mother had been raped, resulting in his birth. While never condoning the violence, he ultimately recognized that without that terrible event, he wouldn't exist to impact countless lives today.
Perhaps most practical is the pattern-interrupt technique Carolyn offers. By choosing a silly word (hers is "pineapple") to break negative thought spirals, we can create space between our thoughts. "I find God in the space between my thoughts," she reveals, explaining how this practice opens us to higher consciousness and new perspectives.
Ready to break free from the prison of pain you've been decorating for years? This episode provides actionable steps to release what no longer serves you. As Carolyn beautifully states, "My destination in life is no longer a place—it's a new way of seeing the world, because through new eyes, I live a new life."

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When Everything Isn't Enough: Discovering True Fulfillment Apr 25, 2025

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What happens when you achieve everything you've ever wanted, yet find yourself driving past the same cliff everyday, contemplating suicide? Yolanda Ayala, a 25-year veteran nurse at UCLA, takes us on her raw, transformative journey from the depths of depression to discovering authentic purpose and joy.
Despite having the perfect life on paper—loving family, successful career, financial stability—Yolanda spent three years planning her suicide. The turning point came unexpectedly at a business conference where she encountered personal development concepts that planted seeds of hope. "That little glimpse of light in the darkest time," as she calls it, gradually expanded through intentional growth practices and a commitment to rediscovering her authentic self.
Yolanda's story illuminates a paradox many face: the emptiness that can follow achieving our goals when those goals don't align with our deeper purpose. After realizing nursing had become her identity rather than her passion, she courageously stepped into public speaking and coaching—discovering work that doesn't feel like work: "I come to life, no matter how hard it is."
This conversation delivers practical wisdom for anyone feeling unfulfilled or stuck. Yolanda shares her daily practices—morning routines, gratitude journaling, goal-setting—that create sustainable transformation. Most powerfully, she suggests asking yourself: "When you're on your last breath, are you proud of yourself?" This perspective helps separate genuine purpose from societal expectations.
For veterans navigating difficult transitions, Yolanda offers three transformative insights: meet people where they are, commit to personal growth, and never give up hope. As host Michael Cole emphasizes, "You cannot be depressed if you're grateful"—highlighting how mindset practices can literally rewire our neural pathways toward positivity and purpose.
Ready to transform your own darkness into purpose? Visit empowerperformancestrategies.com for resources to begin your journey.

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Movement as Medicine: How Dance Transforms Mental Health Apr 24, 2025

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Can movement heal trauma? In this transformative conversation, Michael Cole welcomes Veronica Vasquez, an extraordinary practitioner who blends social-emotional learning, dance, and energy work to help people overcome their deepest challenges.
Veronica's journey from "failed dancer" to healing facilitator reveals the profound connection between our physical movements and emotional wellbeing. Once struggling with her own limitations—unable to remember choreography and feeling like an outsider in traditional dance—she discovered these perceived weaknesses were actually gateways to her unique gift: helping others process emotions through intuitive movement.
The discussion explores how our body posture and movement patterns reveal our internal emotional landscape. Veronica shares her revolutionary approach that begins each session with spoken affirmations before incorporating movement patterns that challenge the brain and release trapped emotions. This integration creates powerful breakthroughs, particularly for those with physical limitations or emotional trauma.
A mother's testimony about her daughter with cerebral palsy stands as powerful evidence: "Veronica talks to her about her abilities, not her disabilities." After months in Veronica's program, the child accomplished movements her mother never thought possible. Similar transformations happen for veterans processing PTSD, as movement creates new neural pathways that help redefine traumatic experiences.
For those seeking healing—whether from physical limitations, emotional wounds, or the invisible scars of military service—Veronica offers three practical steps: document your strengths alongside your challenges, take mindful walks to practice presence, and recognize recurring thoughts as signals of unprocessed trauma requiring attention.
Through her nonprofit JMM Dance Co. and mindset journal for children, Veronica continues expanding her impact. Ready to experience how movement might transform your emotional landscape? Connect with Veronica or explore the resources at empowerperformancestrategies.com to begin your journey toward embodied healing.

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Authentic Power: Leading from Within Apr 16, 2025

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What if your most powerful leadership tool isn't something you need to acquire, but something you already possess? In this illuminating conversation with Tina Parker, founder of Lead Outside the Lines, we explore the transformative concept of authentic power – a leadership approach rooted not in external validation but in your own inner wisdom.
Tina shares how authentic power creates a profound energetic shift, allowing you to feel pulled toward your purpose rather than pushing against resistance. This magnetic quality not only makes leadership more sustainable but attracts exactly the right people and opportunities to support your vision. Drawing from her 23-year Air Force career and personal journey through life-threatening illness, Tina reveals how disconnection from our authentic selves can manifest in serious consequences, while alignment creates unprecedented possibilities.
We dive deep into recognizing the physical sensations of authenticity – that grounding, calming presence that emerges when you're truly connected to your purpose. The conversation challenges conventional wisdom about confidence and courage, revealing that it's those small, brave steps forward that change your landscape and create clarity, not the other way around.
For leaders feeling exhausted by constant external demands and validation-seeking, this episode offers a refreshing alternative. Tina's practical wisdom about creating spaces where everyone can rise together by bringing their unique gifts provides actionable insights for immediate implementation. Whether you're leading a team, building a business, or simply seeking greater fulfillment, this conversation illuminates how authentic power might be the missing ingredient in your leadership journey.
Ready to trust your inner wisdom and take that first courageous step toward authentic leadership? Listen now and discover how your thoughts truly shape your reality.

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Healing from Trauma: Finding Peace in a Chaotic Mind Apr 16, 2025

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Dianna Sullivan takes us on a profound journey through trauma healing, sharing how unresolved past experiences subtly yet powerfully shape our present reality. As a shamanic healer, Reiki practitioner, and successful entrepreneur who sold her company for $2.5 million to pursue her passion for helping others heal, Dianna brings unique insight into breaking free from limiting patterns.
The conversation reveals powerful indicators that your past might be controlling your present—anxiety, reactivity, mental "spin cycles," and disconnection from joy serve as warning signs that something deeper needs addressing. Dianna explains that what we resist persists, and our attempts to block painful emotions inadvertently block positive ones too. This awareness opens the door to intentional healing.
Dianna shares practical, accessible techniques anyone can implement immediately. Box breathing, walking in nature, grounding practices, and prioritizing fun create space for healing. The STOP technique—feeling negative emotions purposefully, interrupting the pattern, and replacing with positive affirmation—provides a concrete method for rewiring neural pathways and weakening trauma's hold.
Perhaps most transformative is Dianna's perspective on reframing trauma. "Can I see how this trauma was somehow good in my life?" she asks. This powerful shift doesn't minimize suffering but honors how it shapes us into who we are today. Self-forgiveness emerges as the cornerstone of healing, suggesting we tell ourselves: "I was doing the best I could for who I was at the time."
Ready to transform your relationship with past trauma? Dianna's three keys—gentleness with yourself, letting go of judgment, and celebrating even tiny wins—create the foundation for moving from survival to truly thriving. Your past doesn't have to define your future.

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The Power of Connection: How Networking Changes Lives for Military Veterans Mar 25, 2025

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Danny O'Neel's journey from Army Forward Observer to successful entrepreneur and veteran advocate exemplifies resilience in the face of devastating challenges. After enlisting on 9/11 and serving through two intense tours in Iraq, Danny returned home carrying invisible wounds that nearly cost him his life. In this raw and enlightening conversation, he reveals how his family's history of veteran suicide—his grandfather after World War II and his father's contemplated suicide following Vietnam—created a pattern he was determined to break after his own suicide attempt.
The turning point came through connection—first with his wife who encouraged him to seek therapy, then through building businesses that created purpose and community. Danny now owns multiple successful ventures including Kinetic Ink Tattoo Company and Kinetic Threads, while chairing Warfighter Overwatch, the nonprofit he founded that provides free mental health services to veterans and first responders.
What makes this episode particularly valuable is Danny's practical wisdom about networking for veterans transitioning to civilian life. He shines a light on the courage it takes to ask for help, reframing it as strength rather than weakness. His perspective that "if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room" offers a powerful guide for personal and professional growth through intentional relationships.
Danny's approach to life after service demonstrates how veterans can leverage their military discipline, leadership skills, and teamwork experience in civilian ventures while healing from combat experiences. His three essential tips for veterans—network purposefully, be visible in your community, and support fellow veterans—provide a roadmap for anyone navigating significant life transitions.
Have you built a network that elevates your standards and aspirations? Connect with Danny through Warfighter Overwatch or his businesses to see how community can transform trauma into triumph.

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Making the Main Thing the Main Thing For Veterans and Their Families Mar 24, 2025

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"Making the main thing the main thing" sounds simple, but how many of us actually do it? In this deeply reflective conversation with Arron Lloyd - actor, director, and certified neuro encoding specialist - we explore what it truly means to prioritize what matters most in life.
Arron shares his journey from the inner city to discovering his purpose through acting and helping others. Drawing from his background and expertise in Neuroencoding, he offers profound insights into how we can cut through the noise of our "distraction economy" to focus on what genuinely matters.
We tackle the challenging question that many veterans face after service: how do you rediscover your purpose when the mission changes? Arron suggests practical approaches like asking trusted friends what they see as your gifts, noticing what activities make time fly by, and literally "breathing into your heart" to connect with your deeper wisdom.
The conversation takes unexpected turns as we explore the fine line between necessary self-care and procrastination (yes, we even discuss the importance of pedicures for well-being!), practical strategies for managing digital distractions, and the power of grounding in nature to reset your perspective.
Arron offers three transformative tips specifically for veterans: tap into your purpose, clarify what truly matters most today, and develop heart coherence by reconnecting with your emotions. His closing story about two monks powerfully illustrates how letting go of unnecessary burdens frees us to focus on what's truly important.
Whether you're a veteran transitioning to civilian life or anyone seeking greater clarity and purpose, this conversation offers both the inspiration and practical tools to make your main thing truly the main thing in your life. Visit empowerperformancestrategies.com to access free resources mentioned in this episode.

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