Stay ConnectedAn encyclopaedia of heroic failure
Join Ben Van der Velde, Barry McStay and their guests as they brandish their wooden spoons of destiny and celebrate the losers, heroic failures and spectacular mis-steps that pockmark human endeavour. If you ever want to feel better about your progress in life, take a listen and enjoy a lovely schadenfreude bubble bath. Music by Max Perryment (www.maxperryment.co.uk)
Donate to us via Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward
Ho ho ho - but enough naming our garden implements, it's time for the Worst Foot Forward Christmas Special! Santa himself joins us on the show - or at least, his official body-double does. Yes, actor and professional Father Christmas Allan Scott-Douglas is our guest to tell us wintry tales of the World's Worst Santa. Allan relates some true tales from backstage at the grotto, Barry takes us through the history of the real Saint Nick and his various hideous European mutations, and Ben introduces us to a goat in sexy red hot pants. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @AlScottDouglas
It's our fiftieth episode, our golden anniversary and to celebrate, Ben and Barry have got a real rabbi to bless their union. Sam Lebens joins the boys to pray for the coming of the World's Worst Messiah. Barry puts his Jesuit education to good use with stories of Micronesian 'cargo cults', Ben gets down and dirty amidst some Reformation orgies and Sam brings an academic eye to the question 'what makes a good Messiah anyway?'. Tune in for fake Moseses, cannonball catching and sexually-transmitted Antichrists. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde
Join us for a rummage through the bargain basement with actor, sketch performer and 21st century PG Wodehouse character Thom Tuck as we cast our eyes over the world of music to find the Worst Best Of... albums in history. We nerd out over album sequencing, confess to ropey teenage purchases and uncover a particularly grim Elvis cash-in. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @TurlyGod
*Cue outrageously funky wah-wah pedal and slick hi-hat action* Flick up the collars of your trenchcoat, coiffure your Afro to perfection and get ready to lay some righteous Smackdown on Whitey and the establishment as we join comedian and radio host Masud Milas on a journey into the world of Blaxploitation films. As ever on our search for the worst of all time, we come across all sorts of horrifying wonders, including gay B-Movie Blaxploitation aliens from Mars, Dutch Angles, spitting on graves, pimps and whores galore and Melvin Van Peebles penis. PART 1 [00:00] PART 2 [05:23] What Masud is Worst at in the world PART 3 [07:55] Ben's Choice: Background to Blaxploitation movies African-American Folk Heroes in Literature Gay N****** From Outer Space PART 4 [31:28] Masud's Choice: The Black Gestapo PART 5 [46:28] Barry's Choice: Trailers Pam Grier Dolomite/Rudy Ray Moore Sweet Sweetback's Badasssss Song PART 6 [1:05:06} The Winner World's Worst News Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @MasudMilas
3 - 2 - 1 - LIFT OFF! Whoops, the rocket fell over. Yes, having previously discussed astronauts, we're blasting off to space again in search of the World's Worst Space Invention. Award-winning comedian and actress Samantha Baines (The Crown, Call The Midwife) joins us to share her love of Cox and her insights into sex in space. Meanwhile, Ben pops the hood and looks at the inner workings of the Death Star and Barry talks about THAT pencil story and the terrifying experience of living on Mir. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @samanthabaines
Ben and Barry are often likened to cocktails - one is a high-baller with a twist and the other is a fruity virgin. So it was only natural that they would seek out the very worst of that particular type of tipple, with a little help from Richard Maxted, mixologist and proprietor of bespoke cocktail purveyors Mix & Muddle. We ask the question 'Who is Tom Collins?', learn the dirty secrets of the dirty martini and marvel at humankind's ingenuity for drinking literally ANYTHING when push comes to shove. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @MixMuddle
This is one of those episodes we've been looking forward to since the beginning of the podcast. Alongside actor, fellow history nerd and WFF fan Ethan Lawrence we go on a merry journey from China to Egypt, 13th century Bulgaria to 18th century France and finally to frontiersville San Francisco in front of the maddest, baddest, stupidest and occasionally most haplessly charming monarchs. Contained within are stories of men sown into bearskins and chased by wolves, cabbage kings, cannons used as alarm clocks and far too much nonsense about bagpipes. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @EthanDLawrence
Order in court for this week's episode as we tackle the thorny issues of terrible legal defences. With us is one of our most qualified and talented guests - an expert in forensics, criminology and how to get away with anything, plus a mean performer on the stand-up and cabaret circuit: it's Ria Lina. With Ria's assistance Ben and Barry work out the best way to murder each other and then head onwards to the gnarly thickets of ridiculous legal behaviour. This mega-episode covers a huge amount including trial by combat (and ordeal and poisoned chicken skin) in medieval Europe and 19th century Madagascar, Al Capone's misdeeds in and out of the bedroom and the least plausible heart attack in history. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @ettieBoo
Curtain up! This week's guest is Archie Maddocks, a stand-up comedian as well as a multi-nominated playwright - his work has been shortlisted for both the highly prestigious Bruntwood Prize and Alfred Fagon Award in 2017. We train both barrels on word-wranglers and script-screwer-uppers as we take on some of the World's Worst Playwrights. Ben gets personal, Barry talks unstageable stage directions and Archie takes down no less than a Nobel Prize winner. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @ArchieMaddocks
We laid out the green carpet and welcoming the Lizard Queen of British Burlesque Lolo Brow to dish the dirt on the worst burlesque of all time. She's a woman who takes her job very seriously and reveals the challenges, skills, secrets and invention behind becoming a top class performer. Don't worry though, we've also got our usual helping of disaster, including a watery New Orleans show that shocked audiences in the 1940s, the story of the first ever striptease, some truly astonishing chastity pants and all the questions you ever wanted to ask about an elephant's trunk but were too afraid to ask. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @lolobrow
Our TOPPODCAST Picks 
