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Wolf 359 — Arts
Wolf 359

Life’s not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He’s stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station’s sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn’t have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people’s minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that. Wolf 359 is a radio drama in the tradition of Golden Age of Radio shows. Take one part space-faring adventure, add one part character drama, and mix in one part absurdist sitcom, and you get Wolf 359.

Copyright: © Kinda Evil Genius Productions, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Episode 27: Knock, Knock Nov 09, 2015

Show notes

Part one of two. The Hephaestus is thrust into a maelstrom in the wake of Wolf 359's sudden, violent change. With the station infrastructure taking heavy damage and multiple systems failing, Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera must scramble to find a way out of the storm. But as they struggle to content with the inexplicable phenomenon, the human members of the crew slowly realize that there may be another, even deadlier, force affecting them. Plus, inner logic consultants, messages in bottles, the polarity of ions, Duck Dodgers, and unprecedented deep space discoveries.

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Episode 26: Do No Harm Oct 26, 2015

Show notes

With Eiffel in critical condition, Minkowski, Hilbert, and Lovelace are forced to put their differences on hold. But with long-held fears and grudges reaching their breaking points, it's not long before the uneasy truce is teetering on the brink of open violence. Will the fragile alliance be able to work together long enough to get Eiffel through this outbreak? Plus, metamizole, useless suspicions, aggressive outside agents, decorum protocols, and the Care Bear Stare.

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Episode 25: Lame-O Superhero Origin Story Oct 05, 2015

Show notes

Forced to work together, Eiffel and Hilbert try to find some middle ground as they adjust the Hephaestus' systems. But with old grudges coming to a boil and Lovelace getting ever closer to her goals, will the volatile team be able to get the job done? Plus, shallow nonsense, the touchy-feelies, angry kitten face, Darth Virus, and floppy, hoppy bunnies.

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Mini Episode 3: Variations on a Theme Oct 05, 2015

Show notes

Captain Lovelace goes forwards and backwards in time.

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Episode 24: Tactical Brain Damage Sep 21, 2015

Show notes

Now armed with a plan, the crew begins putting their elaborate deception in motion. While Eiffel keeps Captain Lovelace occupied, Hera and Minkowski start adjusting the station's equipment. But when their modifications cause a major system failure, will they be able to reverse the damage before Lovelace notices that something is amiss? Plus, the role of Igor, waffles in a solar flare, Team Desperate, a bigger boat, and all of western pop culture.

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Episode 23: No Pressure Sep 06, 2015

Show notes

Ten days after the reappearance of Captain Lovelace, the crew works around the clock to get the various systems on her shuttle up and running. Tensions rise steadily as Eiffel, Minkowski, and Lovelace face technical difficulties, personal differences, and plummeting morale. But when a short circuit leaves them marooned outside the Hephaestus, they must race against the clock to repair the shuttle's malfunctioning life support system. Plus, Ford Pinto-class shuttle service, diabolical foxes in the machine, Herr Trigger Von Bombenstein, compound eyes, and raw animal magnetism.

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Mini Episode 2: Day One Jul 04, 2015

Show notes

From the Goddard Futuristics Archives, File #A7NB566. Communications Officer Log on Day 1 of the Hephaestus Project.

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Episode 22: Mutually Assured Destruction Jun 09, 2015

Show notes

The crew is shocked by the sudden reappearance of Captain Lovelace. At first relieved to have another ally on board the Hephaestus, Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera soon grow suspicious of the station's former commanding officer. Is the newcomer really who she claims, or is another devious scheme afoot? And when Minkowski realizes they might have a way to escape the Hephaestus, can she and Eiffel trust Captain Lovelace with their plan? Plus, Voight-Kampff kits, sucky-ass casas, Wonkavators, Barney sensors, and the Twilight Zone.

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Episode 21: Minkowski Commanding May 27, 2015

Show notes

Following the Plant Monster's reappearance, Minkowski makes it her mission to eliminate the mutant stowaway once and for all. But when her quarry proves surprisingly difficult to corner, the Commander resorts to increasingly desperate and dangerous tactics. As the deadly game of cat and mouse intensifies and the lines between roles start to blur, Minkowski must decide on the best path to take to ensure the safety of her crew. Plus, Howard Beale breakdowns, escalating hostilities, Holy Hand Grenades, friendly conversations, and Heart of Darkness lighting.

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Episode 20: The Paranoia Game May 12, 2015

Show notes

Against Minkowski's better judgment, Eiffel decides to use Hilbert's mechanical skills to repair a faulty system in the station's optical network. Things seem to be going well, until Eiffel and Hilbert discover that one of their screwdrivers has vanished into thin air. With everyone's whereabouts and actions accounted for, the crew struggles to solve the enigma of the mysterious, disappearing screwdriver. Plus, a staggeringly vast number of evil plans, Machiavellian little schemes, ginormous boulders, powerful magnets, and Dr. Tech Support.

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