What The If?

Latest Episodes:

American BRAIN DRAIN: Beyond The IF! Feb 24, 2025

Show notes

We're sharing our bonus show this week that is usually available only to our Patreon supporters. This week's Beyond the IF continues our sobering discussion about the rapidly deteriorating state of science funding in America. The conversation took us deeper into the real-world impacts we're already seeing - from major universities canceling all graduate admissions to a student who landed a Park Service job only to have it eliminated before she could even start. These aren't hypothetical scenarios anymore; they're happening to real people right now. We also discussed the historical precedents for what happens when countries drive out their scientific talent. From Nazi Germany to the Soviet Union's collapse, the pattern is disturbingly familiar - and often ends with those experts enriching other nations instead. For those of you wondering what you can do, we shared information about the Stand Up for Science event on March 7th and other ways to make your voice heard. Your support is more important than ever as we navigate these challenging times. If you're one of our Patreon members, we thank you for being part of this community and allowing us to have these critical conversations that many aren't willing to have. If you're not a member yet, go to https://patreon.com/whattheif to find out what it's all about. Keep on iffin', Philip, Gaby & Matt

NONSTOP Meteor Madness! Feb 16, 2025

Show notes

Picture a world where meteor showers aren't just annual events - they're a constant barrage of cosmic debris raining down from above. From sonic booms that make sleep impossible to the challenges of titanium umbrella manufacturing, explore how humanity might cope with endless celestial bombardment. Discover why the moon's pockmarked surface could become Earth's new normal, why your local cathedral might be built from meteorite fragments, and how our atmosphere would transform into a perpetual blanket of dust that could make plants nostalgic for sunlight. Based on ideas sparked by Dr. Matthew Stanley's upcoming book on the history of asteroid impact awareness. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

The Great GARBAGE Apocalypse! Feb 10, 2025

Show notes

Imagine a world where garbage grows faster than we can handle it. From towering mountains of trash transforming Central Park into a burn pit, to fashionable gas masks becoming the next big trend, to super-sized Pizza Rats dragging entire pies down subway stairs - Matt touches on what happens when our waste production spirals out of control. Discover the fascinating science behind Norway's garbage-to-energy programs, learn why your building's trash chute might be too small for modern waste, and find out how launching garbage into space could create daily meteor showers. Whether we end up building higher and higher on top of our refuse or turning landfills into beautiful parks, one thing's certain: the future is trashy. Here are links to the article that inspired today’s “If,” and also links to the work of photographer Jade Doskow, the official photographer of the Fresh Kills transformation project, turning the old landfill into a vast wooded parkland in New York City. - NYTimes - "A Century of Human Detritus, Visualized" (Dennis Overbye) - The podcast encourages checking out a New York Times article titled "A Century of Human Detritus, Visualized," written by Dennis Overbye and published December 27, 2024. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/27/science/biomass-garbage-construction.html?unlocked_article_code=1.v04.UxBK.oaS6T2HeFINh&smid=url-share - Jade Doskow’s Official Website - The hosts direct listeners to Jade Doskow’s official photography website, which showcases her work. https://jadedoskowphotography.com/ - Jade Doskow at Freshkills Park - The official Freshkills Park page about Jade’s role as Photographer-in-Residence. It features her ongoing project documenting the transformation of the former landfill into a park. https://freshkillspark.org/os-art/jadedoskow - "Jade Doskow: Photographer of Lost Utopias" Documentary - A short documentary by filmmaker Philip Shane following Jade’s decade-long project photographing World’s Fair sites. https://www.philipshane.com/lost-utopias - "Extra Terrestrial" on Urban Omnibus - An article written by Jade Doskow (Nov 2022) about the evolving landscape of Freshkills, recommended for further reading. It offers insight into her approach and findings as the site’s photographer-in-residence. https://urbanomnibus.net/2022/11/extra-terrestrial/ --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Nobody POOPS! Feb 07, 2025

Show notes

What if humans only needed to poop twice a year? Listener Randy Woods sent in this fascinating question that explores everything from subway systems suddenly smelling fresher to plumbers planning career changes in a world where human waste becomes a rare event. Dive into the fascinating science of gut microbiomes, learn why having "zero waste" might wreak havoc on Earth's ecosystems, and discover why some scientists think the total elimination of poop could cause an evolutionary crisis. Through engineered gut bacteria or artificially created super-digestible food, this episode examines how our bodies would need to change to achieve this drastically different biological reality. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

SLOTH Life! Feb 01, 2025

Show notes

What if humans could only move eight inches in 24 hours? After watching mushroom corals take a full day to scoot that far, we explore life at an even slower pace than sloths. Trade sprinting after prey for the exciting new sport of not moving at all! Develop a metabolism so slow you'll make a sloth look hyperactive, grow some stylish moss camouflage, and discover why traveling one foot becomes the adventure of a lifetime. Turns out the slow life comes with some surprising survival strategies - just don't expect to chase down your dinner anymore. Based on "These Corals Are Made for Walking" by Jason Bittel, published in The New York Times on Jan. 22, 2025 (https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/22/science/walking-coral.html?smid=url-share). --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

ANTS Fold Your Pants - BONUS - Beyond The IF! Jan 20, 2025

Show notes

Here's our Bonus show, "Beyond The IF" which we record each week for our Patreon supporters. We're sharing it here so you can get a taste of what it's like. If you're not a Patreon supporter, you can learn more about the benefits available to all our wonderful members at patreon.com/whattheif. We continued the show by talking about the fascinating world of ants—their wars, their teamwork, and how they recognize each other using scent. These tiny creatures gave us plenty to think about. Gaby also shared a brief take on how misunderstandings of basic science, like pasteurization, can lead to unnecessary fear. Her thoughts on the need for tackling misinformation and protecting public health were insightful. Thanks for listening, and keep on Iffin’.

ANTS Fold Your PANTS! Jan 20, 2025

Show notes

What if we could harness the superior problem-solving abilities of ants? After scientists discovered that ants outperform humans at maneuvering objects through mazes (even when the humans can see but aren't allowed to talk or gesture), we imagine a world where humans learn to control these master cooperators. From ant armies forming living conveyor belts to deliver mail, to using chemical trails to guide them in cleaning houses, explore what happens when humans try to domesticate insects for manual labor. Just don't get too squeamish when you learn it takes 150 million ants to move your couch! Based on "Ants best humans at test of collective intelligence" by Christie Wilcox, published in Science.org on December 30, 2024 (https://www.science.org/content/article/ants-best-humans-test-collective-intelligence). --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

TOXIC Free UTOPIA! Jan 13, 2025

Show notes

What if toxic chemicals weren't toxic anymore? Take a magical tour through a world where mercury becomes the ultimate playground material for ice skating, lead paint makes a dazzling comeback in interior design, and DDT returns as humanity's mosquito-fighting champion. Inspired by Larry Woods' whimsical question, this episode dives into the surprising history of mercury in hat-making (spoiler: this explains why the Mad Hatter was actually mad), Newton's ill-advised alchemical adventures with toxic metals, and the fascinating science of why you can float an anvil on mercury but can't actually swim in it. From Elizabethan lead-based makeup to mercury-filled thermometers in unfortunate dogs, discover the wild world of substances that used to kill us but now just want to be friends. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Ultra HEARING For Everyone Jan 05, 2025

Show notes

Your houseplants might be screaming right now, but you'd never know it (unless you're a moth). Scientists discovered that stressed and dehydrated plants emit ultrasonic clicks that moths can hear and use to choose where to lay their eggs - like tiny vegetative Yelp reviews. But what if humans could also tune into this botanical broadcasting network? From coffee shops filled with complaining houseplants to ultrasonic opera singers hitting notes that would make dogs cover their ears, explore a world where humans can hear the full spectrum of sound. And yes, your dying Christmas tree is probably making more noise than your neighbor's teenage garage band. Based on the article "When They Hear Plants Crying, Moths Make a Decision" by Gennaro Tomma, from the New York Times Science section at https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/06/science/moths-hearing-plant-sounds.html --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

OCTOPUS Empire Rising! Dec 29, 2024

Show notes

What happens after humans? According to fascinating research from Oxford University, octopi might be perfectly positioned to become Earth's next civilization builders. These eight-armed innovators could evolve over millions of years into six-foot-tall underwater architects, developing amazing technologies like saltwater-hardened concrete and creating Venice-style coastal cities. Picture a future where octopi run underwater factories and construct amphibious settlements along what used to be Miami's coastline! Join Philip and Gaby as they explore this mind-bending possibility and imagine what an octopus civilization might look like. Based on the article "If Humans Die Out, Octopuses Already Have the Chops to Build the Next Civilization, Scientist Claims" by Sarah Wells in Popular Mechanics on Dec 13, 2024 at https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/animals/a63184424/octopus-civilization/ --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected