What The If?

Latest Episodes:

SHORT MEMORY Mayhem! Aug 03, 2024

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Buckle up for a mind-bending journey into a world where memories vanish faster than you can say "What did I just...?" What if our brains could only hold onto thoughts for a measly 30 seconds? Would cavemen become the ultimate goldfish, forgetting they're running from saber-toothed tigers mid-sprint? Could humanity evolve into a society of Post-it note addicts, desperately scribbling reminders to breathe? Explore the hilarious and horrifying implications of life with short-term memory, from accidental daily spouse-swapping to the potential rise of a Mario Kart-based civilization. Discover how video games might become our cognitive saviors, and ponder whether we'd all turn into walking, talking hard drives just to remember our own names. It's a forgetful fiesta that'll leave you questioning reality - if you can remember it long enough! --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

OLYMPICS Of The Solar System! Jul 26, 2024

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We welcome our newest Patreon supporter, Martin from Frankfurt, Germany! Inspired by the Paris Olympics which open today, we imagine Olympic events spread across the solar system in the year 3024! High jumps on the Moon, luge races on asteroids, and synchronized swimming in Titan's methane lakes. Athletes train in centrifuges to prepare for different gravities, while spectators watch solar sail races near the Sun. The episode explores the physics of sports in various planetary conditions, from the dense atmosphere of Jupiter to the microgravity of space stations. Learn about the challenges of organizing interplanetary competitions and the potential for new sports unique to each celestial body. --- Check out our membership rewards! Visit us at Patreon.com/Whattheif Got an IF of your own? Want to have us consider your idea for a show topic? Send YOUR IF to us! Email us at feedback@whattheif.com and let us know what's in your imagination. No idea is too small, or too big! Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe at WhatTheIF.com Keep On IFFin', Philip, Matt & Gaby

MICROBIAL Architects Of Alien Worlds! Jul 05, 2024

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Dive into the intriguing world of microbial terraforming on Planet Hendrix! This episode explores how scientists use unique microbes to transform barren extraterrestrial landscapes into potentially habitable environments. Discover the fascinating processes behind microbial mining, mineral creation, and atmosphere alteration, and how these tiny organisms could pave the way for future human colonization. Learn about the Great Oxidation Event and its Earthly impacts, and imagine the possibilities when humanity harnesses these microbial powers on other planets. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

ANCIENT GREEK YouTube STARS! Jun 28, 2024

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Step into a wild world where ancient Greek philosophers are YouTube sensations! Picture Aristotle running multiple channels, Socrates hosting heated philosophical debates, and Odysseus vlogging his epic journey home. We dive into the hilarious and thought-provoking scenarios of Greek legends navigating the digital age. What if Alexander the Great livestreamed his conquests? Could Diogenes become the ultimate internet troll? Join us as we explore how YouTube's algorithm might shake up the spread of ideas in ancient Greece. Get ready for a wild ride through an alternate history where togas meet technology!

GLASS Bones & ACID Blood! Jun 22, 2024

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Explore a world where life is based on silicon instead of carbon, swimming in sulfuric acid oceans and breathing in clouds of acid rain. Imagine transparent armadillo-like creatures with glass bones, communicating through resonant frequencies. Ponder the possibilities of silicon-based trees with blue interiors and the challenges of interspecies cohabitation. This episode delves into the chemistry, biology, and potential evolution of silicon-based life forms, from microscopic bacteria to intelligent civilizations. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Humans SPIRAL into PIZZA Madness! Jun 14, 2024

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Inspired by a fascinating article about why moths are lured to lights at night, this mind-bending episode explores a wild scenario - what if humans navigated the world like moths, perpetually drawn to the scent of pizza? Delve into the intricacies of moth navigation, ant death spirals, and how our cities and societies might be organized around an insatiable pizza obsession. From pizza-oriented city grids designed to capture savory scents to pharaohs using pizza to construct pyramids, the hilarious thought experiment takes you on a journey that will change how you see pepperoni forever. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

NITROGEN Doomsday! Jun 07, 2024

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In this mind-blowing episode, we explore how one man's quest to create artificial fertilizer transformed the trajectory of human history. Inspired by listener Martin from Frankfurt, we dive into the story of Fritz Haber, whose discovery of the Haber-Bosch process for synthesizing ammonia not only revolutionized agriculture and saved billions from starvation but also fueled the rise of chemical weapons in World War I. From explosive bat guano to the delicate balance of ding-dongs and Twinkies, we unravel the complex web connecting fertilizer, food production, and the very bombs that shaped the 20th century. Brace yourself for a wild ride through the unintended consequences of scientific breakthroughs! —  Here’s Martin’s email to us which includes lots more information and links to learn more about his intriguing IF! From: Martin Subject: A world without NH3 (a What The If idea) I had another idea for a potential IF, or - to give credit where credit is due - my colleague Thomas has it. He read that BASF in Germany has sold an NH3 (ammonia) plant in Ludwigshafen (their main production site) after having produced NH3 there since 1913 It was the first industrial plant that realized the -then- completely new Haber-Bosch process. So Thomas asked: what (the if) would a world without NH3 look like? Then we started discussing :-) It's sort of chemist's lore that Haber and Bosch tested many, many catalysts before they found a good one to combine N2 and H2 to NH3. Some sources put the number of tested catalyst formulations to as many as 2500 (https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/chemistry/haber-bosch-process#:~:text=In%20order%20to%20find%20a,Germany%2C%20now%20part%20of%20Ludwigshafen). What if they lost interest after test #1000 (and never found the iron-based catalyst that was ultimately the one)? Probably this (hypothetical) failed attempt on large scale would deter other groups of scientists at that time to even start their own catalyst developments? Anyhow, let's assume there has never been an industrial NH3 synthesis process in our "What the If" world. It's quite obvious that agriculture would have been very different. Our World in Data has the key answer here: https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/world-population-with-and-without-fertilizer — without ammonia as fertilizer we would be able to feed max 4 bn people (instead 8). So many more famines? Or slower population growth? Certainly a different diet, less feed for animals, and more plants that can fixate N2 from the atmosphere. Our World in Data has a little fun with that: (https://ourworldindata.org/how-many-people-does-synthetic-fertilizer-feed#could-we-have-achieved-the-same-without-synthetic-nitrogen) more peas and beans (and some others — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Nitrogen-fixing_crops — including lupines — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupinus#Uses — which leads -of course- directly to one of my favorite Monty Python sketches "Dennis Moore"). Not nice. I wouldn't survive the season, that's for sure (no / less fruits and other vegetables) Side note: I was surprised that per capita for many decades (https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/fertilizer-per-capita?tab=chart&country=OWID_WRL~OWID_EUR~CHN~IND~EGY~NLD~DEU~USA) the Western world had significantly higher values than Africa, India, Egypt. So without NH3 Europe / USA would have suffered more), probably more focus has to be put on bringing food on the table for everyone and less activities in new technologies etc. (basically staying longer at the bottom levels of Maslow's pyramid of needs) And then there is war. NH3 was an important ingredient to make TNT - some folks estimate that TNT has killed 100-150 million people in all wars combined. TNT Is Still With Us | Science | AAAS https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/tnt-still-us Despite being an older explosive, TNT remains relevant due to its stability and relative safety compared to newer, more volatile alternatives. All the best, Martin

Weird Fish Dating! May 31, 2024

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Dive into the bizarre world of anglerfish mating rituals in this wildly entertaining episode! Discover how these deep-sea creatures evolved an unconventional strategy for reproduction in the ocean's dark depths. From males biting and fusing to much larger females, to becoming nothing more than sperm-producing parasites, the strange tale of anglerfish love will leave you amazed and slightly unsettled. Join us as we imagine a human society built on anglerfish rules - where tiny men chase after gigantic women in hopes of clamping on for life. It's a thought-provoking journey filled with humor and scientific intrigue that you won't want to miss! Read the New York Times article: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/30/science/anglerfish-evolution-sex.html?pvid=kolzEZ0s23v76fE8YxZOhk03&u2g=c&smid=url-share --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

YOU Are Schrödinger's CAT! May 24, 2024

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Explore what it means to live as Schrödinger's Cat! Delve into the mind-bending concept of being in two states at once and how it would feel to experience quantum superposition. Discover modern AI’s take on this classic thought experiment, laugh over a dance floor encounter with Mick Jagger, and hear fascinating tales from history, including an atomic bomb project. This episode is packed with intriguing theories and humorous elements, making the quantum world more relatable. Perfect for both science enthusiasts and curious minds, this journey will challenge your perception of existence!

Space Vacuum MONSTERS! May 17, 2024

Show notes

Today's cover art, crafted by listener Josh Haberman, features heavy metal merpeople in whalebone armor inspired by Gaby's vision in our "Underwater Civilizations" episode. Explore more of Josh's work at his blog: https://artofjoshhaberman.blogspot.com and share your own inspired creations! We're sharing "Space Vacuum MONSTERS!" as an encore presentation while Team IF is away from the studio. This episode delves into cosmic wilderness, exploring space vacuum monsters and metaphoric Kaiju that inhabit the remote corners of the universe. Inspired by one of Gaby's imaginative short stories, "A Sword Between The Stars," it originally aired a while back. Today, we celebrate Gaby, not only for her creative contributions but also for her recent achievement in earning her PhD from Rockefeller University. Congratulations, Gaby, on this wonderful accomplishment! Gaby's short story "A Sword Between The Stars" is featured in the anthology "Luminescent Machinations: Queer Tales of Monumental Invention," available at Neon Hemlock: https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention. --- Check out our membership rewards! Visit us at https://Patreon.com/Whattheif Got an IF of your own? Want to have us consider your idea for a show topic? Send YOUR IF to us! Email us at feedback@whattheif.com and let us know what's in your imagination. No idea is too small, or too big! Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe at https://WhatTheIF.com Keep On IFFin', Philip, Matt & Gaby

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