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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Fresh Take: Dr. Amber Thornton on Finding Real Balance Jan 20, 2023

Show notes

We've all felt the guilt that comes with taking time away from our kids to do something we enjoy. But if we're always being told how liberating it is to do things for ourselves, why do we have such complicated feelings about? Dr. Amber Thornton tells us how we can successfully balance our lives both as women and as mothers.

Dr. Amber Thornton is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Millennial Motherhood Wellness Coach. She is the Founder of Balanced Working Mama, with a mission to completely change the narrative of what is possible for millennial mothers by helping them to better balance work, motherhood, and wellness. She's also the host of the BALANCED WORKING MAMA podcast. Dr. Amber resides in Washington, D.C., with her husband and 2 little ones.

Dr. Amber, Margaret, and Amy discuss:

What it means to set a boundary successfully
What's really behind mom guilt
The perils of secondary expectations

It's important to remember that our feelings about our situation don't necessarily reflect the reality that's happening around us. Our guilt about taking time for ourselves as mothers is a commentary on the society we live in, not our actual abilities as parents.

Here's where you can find Amber:

www.balancedworkingmama.com
@dramberthornton on IG/FB/YT/TikTok
@balancedworkingmama on IG

Links!

Joshua Ziesel for The Washington Post: "I wanted to be a better husband. So I planned my kid's birthday party."
We discuss the steps that might be involved in undoing our roles as "default parents", a term created by blogger M. Blazoned in 2014.

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!

You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What Fresh Hell Is Winter? Jan 18, 2023

Show notes

What do we do when the magic of the holiday season is behind us, spring is months away, and we have to keep kids busy for months more of cold weather until then? Melanie from our FB group wrote in to say:

Can we talk about the transition out of the festive season and into plain ol' winter? We went all out celebrating this year with my kids (3 and 1) . Now things are going to be pretty quiet for the next couple of months. I'm a stay at home mom in a very rural area where January and February mean cold, ice and bad roads. Realistically, we're not going to be going as many places or seeing as many people. Even getting outside with two tiny kids is a big job. How can I help ease my 3yo back into her normal routine when I too tend to be susceptible to the winter blahs and burnout this time of year? I can feel the loneliness setting in. Does anyone else mind this time of year or is it just me?

It's not just you. Amy and Margaret discuss:

Why women are more susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and how it manifests
Why nobody actually likes ALL of winter– and why that's okay
What works to keep them going during these gray days

From keeping up holiday lights a little longer to rebranding winter, our listeners gave some excellent suggestions for keeping the winter blues at bay - and keeping your kids entertained.

LINKS!

Our episode "How Are We Going to Keep These Kids Busy?" (March 2020)
Roecklein, Kathryn A, and Kelly J Rohan: Seasonal affective disorder: an overview and update
Hannah Seo for The New York Times: What to Know About Seasonal Depression
Pandora Dewan for Newsweek: 'Like Purgatory': Why We Can Feel Uneasy After Christmas

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!

You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy: My Daughter Is Suddenly Being Ostracized Jan 16, 2023

Show notes

What should a parent do when their child is suddenly excluded from their friend group? Amy helps a listener unpack the complexities of this problem:

"My 13-year-old daughter has inexplicably been dropped from her friend group at her very small school (less than 10 girls in the grade). As far as my daughter can figure, nothing has precipitated this change.

The moms would regularly communicate with each other via text to coordinate as we don’t live in the same town. As a result of this, I know that the moms know that their girls are ostracizing mine. They know she is not invited by their girls. They are no longer texting me to make the plans, carpools, etc. My daughter is distraught.

I am also sick to my stomach over it. I don’t know how to help her. I am also heartbroken because I felt that I also thought that I I had the beginnings of a friendship with these women. How do I help my daughter through this?"

This is devastating both for the teen in question and us as moms, Amy explains, because our emotional responses to our adolescent's struggles are often colored by our own memories of how difficult this time in our lives may have been. Offering your child infinite support and compassion while keeping your judgments (and expletives) to yourself is key. And while keeping an open mind at this time may seem impossible– who are these little monsters hurting your child's feelings??– it's also important to remember that there may be more to the story than what you are hearing at home.

Links!

Fresh Take: Judith Warner on What Grownups Get Wrong About Middle School

Dr. Lisa Damour on Helping Kids Manage Anxiety

Judith Warner's book And Then They Stopped Talking to Me: Making Sense of Middle School: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781101905890

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Ophira Eisenberg on Why Parenting Is a Joke Jan 13, 2023

Show notes

Ophira Eisenbergis a Canadian-born standup comedian and writer. You may remember Ophira as the host of NPR’s comedy trivia showAsk Me Another. Ophira is also a regular host and teller with The Moth and her stories have been featured on The Moth Radio Hour and in their best-selling books. Her comedy special Inside Joke is available on Amazon and iTunes. Ophira is also a parent to a 6-year-old and the host of the new comedy podcast Parenting Is A Joke co-produced by iHeart Radio and Pretty Good Friends Productions.

Ophira, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

Mom worsts
Airport teddy bears
The gray area between being wildly successful and quitting

Here's where you can find Ophira:

@ophirae on Twitter and IG
Parenting Is A Joke: http://prettygoodfriends.com/parenting
Instagram & FB: @parentingisajoke
Twitter: @parentingjoke

Ophira’s new solo show "Leaving A Mark: A Comedy About Scars” blends all the rawness, vulnerability, and immediacy of first-person storytelling along with sharp standup. Ophira tells harrowing and hilarious stories about acquiring and living with the dozens of scars that cover her body while the definitions of beauty, body acceptance, and the journey between broken and whole, injured and healed are explored.

February 2-4, 9-11, 16-17 at Soho Playhouse.

More info & tickets: https://ci.ovationtix.com/35583/production/1148355?utm_source=theatermania&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=tmlisting

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!

You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Giving Help That Works - And Asking for the Help We Need Jan 11, 2023

Show notes

Do you hate feeling unable to help people in crisis, or do you worry about getting too involved and stepping on toes? There are ways to give help to people in need that are productive and considerate, and our listeners wrote in with some excellent examples.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

How to avoid the "let me know if you need anything" trap
The "comfort in, dump out" model of caretaking
The perils of too many lasagnas

The best help you can give may be something that feels inconsequential to you but is actually a huge help to the people in need. Whatever your role ends up being during a crisis, accept it graciously, and don't expect a hero's fanfare for your efforts.

Links!

Anne Helen Petersen: A Shortcut for Caring for Others (and Being Cared for Yourself)

Susan Silk and Barry Goldman for the LA Times: "How not to say the wrong thing"

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!

You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Margaret: Help! I Have Mom FOMO Jan 09, 2023

Show notes

Does it feel like everyone else's child is petting golden retrievers in flowered fields while yours are crying in a pile of Cheerios on the floor? Mom FOMO - the fear that you're not giving your kids the positive experiences that all of their peers are getting - is real. Here are some concrete ways to address it.

This week's question comes from Amy in our Facebook group:

"Ok moms how do you all handle FOMO? Avoid social media? Any advice? This is mainly pertaining to things my kids might be missing out on. Experiences, activities, etc."

Margaret discusses some favorite answers to this question from WFH listeners, including JOMO, curating your social media feed to exclude particularly triggering posters, and, Margaret's favorite, list-making.

Join our Facebook group! www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast

Read all of the answers to Amy's question in the original thread

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Cindy Muchnick of Parent Compass Jan 06, 2023

Show notes

Cindy Muchnick is the author of THE PARENT COMPASS: Navigating Your Teen's Wellness & Academic Journey in Today's Competitive World. Cindy has been working in education for the past 25+ years as a former Assistant Director of College Admission, high school teacher, and educational consultant. Cindy is also a mother of three sons and a daughter, now ages 16 to 24.

In this interview Cindy, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

The "true north" of the Parent Compass
How to assess when you should and shouldn't intervene in our child's life
How to reframe what success means for our kids

To help our kids thrive, we first have to follow our own compasses as parents and investigate why we parent the way we do. This self-reflection helps us help our kids - which sometimes means helping them less.

Here's where you can find Cindy:

Twitter | @ParentCompass1
Instagram | @parentcompass
Facebook | TheParentCompass
www.cynthiamuchnick.com
Buy Cindy's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781641702881

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!

Go to onepeloton.com to get $500 off Peloton Tread packages and choose the bundle you like best. All-access membership separate. Offer ends January 8, 2023. Excludes Tread basics. See additional terms at onepeloton.com.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is Comparing Our Kids Ever Useful? Jan 04, 2023

Show notes

Why is it siblings so often seem to be total opposites?

If we notice that and lean into comparisons, are we bad parents?

And if our kids really are completely different, are they choosing those divergent paths on purpose? Yes and no. Here's why kids in the same family can turn out so differently, and what it means for us as we parent them.

In this episode we discuss:

The definition of "adaptive divergence"
The difference between knowing our kids and comparing them
Why each of our children, even in the same household, grow up in their own "micro environments"

At the end of the day, we're wired to compare our kids as naturally as breathing. And instead of punishing ourselves for doing so, noticing when we do it and why is a good start. Even if you think you already know everything about your kids, keep your data intake sheets open!

LINKS!

Our episode "Why Are Our Kids Such Total Opposites?"
Lynn Berger for Mother Mag: "How (Not To) Compare Your Children"
Dr. Frank Sulloway: "Why Siblings Are Like Darwin’s Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family"
Jensen, Alexander C et al. in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence: “Parents' Social Comparisons of Siblings and Youth Problem Behavior: A Moderated Mediation Model.”
Sheryl Ziegler for The Tot: "Why raising your kids differently is actually a good thing"

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!

Go to onepeloton.com to get $500 off Peloton Tread packages and choose the bundle you like best. All-access membership separate. Offer ends January 8, 2023. Excludes Tread basics. See additional terms at onepeloton.com.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy: How Do I Get Over My Disappointment at Not Having a Girl? Jan 02, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever felt disappointed that you have only sons or only daughters? You're not alone, and you don't have to feel guilty about your feelings, either.

A listener says:

"I had my third boy in December (a surprise pregnancy and, frankly, one that my husband did not want). I'm finding it very difficult to get over the fact that I will never have a daughter. My mom and I were insanely close growing up and I always thought I'd continue that strong bond with my own daughter. All my friends and community around me have girls - we were literally the only of our network to have a boy and now I have three.

I can't help feeling sad that I am missing out on a part of life that I grew up looking forward to. I feel so ashamed about it, I haven't been able to speak the words to anyone (least of all my husband who would fear I want a fourth - I don't, by the way).

Many people keep asking if we're going to "try again for a girl," which we were never doing in the first place and just makes me feel more upset. My boys are 4, 21 months and now 5 months old. And I wouldn't trade them in for the world. How can I get over this?"

In this "Best of" episode, Amy describes the anxiety she felt when she learned her third child would be a girl after getting used to parenting two boys. She explains that "gender disappointment" is extremely common– and helps our listener tease out and actively reframe the different emotions that might be at work.

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Best of: Michaeleen Doucleff on What's Missing in Western Parenting Dec 30, 2022

Show notes

Do you feel like you're in a constant state of verbal contact with your kids - either arguing, praising, or commanding, all day long? So did Michaeleen Doucleff, until she went on assignment to the Yucatan to learn about Mayan methods of parenting.

Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff is a science reporter for NPR and the author of the New York Times best-seller Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans. In this "Best Of" interview Amy, Margaret, and Michaeleen discuss:

The power of NOT negotiating with your child
Tenets of WEIRD parenting (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic)
How Michaeleen's relationship with her daughter has improved with these techniques

Taking note of how much you insert yourself into your child's activities during the day - and making a conscious effort to do so less - is a very important part of improving both your child's behavior and your relationship with them.

Here's where you can find Michaeleen:

Twitter: @foodiescience
michaeleendoucleff.com
Buy Michaeleen's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982149673

Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply.

Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH.

For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com.

Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH.

Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood.

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StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell

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