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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Fresh Take: Mara Glatzel on Being "Needy" Mar 31, 2023

Show notes

If someone asked you "What do you need right now?" would you even be able to articulate it? In her new book NEEDY: How To Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty, intuitive coach Mara Glatzel lays out a roadmap for how to ascertain our needs as human beings, how to ask for it, and how to be comfortable with receiving it.

Mara's work helps humans stop abandoning themselves and start reclaiming their humanity through embracing their needs and honoring their natural energy rhythms. In this episode, Mara and Amy discuss:

The societal pressure to be perfect and need-free as mothers
The difference between a "want" and a "need" and how they intersect
Why it's uncomfortable both to ask for what we need and to finally receive it

Mara argues that the more in tune we are with our own needs, the more we are able to peacefully coexist with others and form authentic relationships.

Here's where you can find Mara:

https://www.maraglatzel.com/
on her own podcast, "Needy."
Here is the linkto Mara's free quiz to help you identify what you need and receive all of her best resources and supportive micro-practices.
Buy Mara's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683649847
@maraglatzel on IG

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do We Rush Kids Too Much? Mar 29, 2023

Show notes

The Instagram account @mindfulmadre recently went viral with this post:

"We are becoming less tolerant of the pace of childhood. In a million ways we tell children: hurry up. Grow up. You are already behind."

Sometimes we rush our kids because we're rushing ourselves—or because we fear our kids will fall behind if they don't keep up with the increasing demands the world has of children, even very small ones.

But who decided that precocious preschoolers are really what we should be aiming for? What are the costs to rushing children? Are there small daily ways in which we can let kids do their own thing at their own paces?

In this episode we discuss:

how a "daily context of stress" affects developing brains
whether small pushbacks are enough, or at least better than nothing
the moments when we've let our kids move at their own paces—even (especially) at Disney World

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Laura Markham for Psychology Today: 11 Reasons to Stop Rushing Through Life
Alison Gopnik for The WSJ: What Children Lose When Their Brains Develop Too Fast
Kim John Payne: SIMPLICITY PARENTING
and these past episodes of our own:
"Fresh Take: Michaeleen Doucleff on Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans"
"Pushing Kids the Just-Right Amount"
"Fresh Take: Katherine May on Enchantment"

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy: My Kid Cries Over Everything Mar 27, 2023

Show notes

Is your child who seemingly overreacts to ever minor scrape and bruise really suffering, or are they just looking for some extra attention? Amy explains what could be behind this behavior and how to address it constructively.

A listener in our FB group says:

"I have a 5 year old boy who cries wolf. He's constantly crying as if he broke a bone or has been severely injured after minor bumps and falls. It's gotten so frustrating that I've stopped responding altogether. Has anyone had a kid like this? What did you do/find helpful?"

Amy explains that it's important to contextualize your child's emotionality. When during the day are they acting out - when they're tired and rundown or when they're well-rested? Are they truly experiencing a sensory overload because they have a naturally sensitive nervous system? Are they easily redirected when you offer distractions like a snack or a show?

You can't ignore or diminish the sensitivity out of your kid, but when navigating this issue, it helps to frame your child's reactions as coming from an authentic place that warrants investigation, rather than a devious one that warrants suspicion.

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Beth Leipholtz on Teaching Inclusion Mar 24, 2023

Show notes

Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm.

Raising a child with a disability is complicated, especially when you're navigating an ableist world on their behalf. Beth Leipholtz is an inclusion and accessibility advocate who believes in creating a more accepting world for our children.

As the hearing mother of a deaf child, Beth is raising her son, Coop, bilingually in both hearing and Deaf cultures. Beth shares her parenting journey on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram @bethandcoop, where she has built a community of more than 1 million people around disability inclusion.

Beth's new new children's book is THE ABCs OF INCLUSION.

Beth, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

Beth's experience learning about and processing Coop's disability
Learning ASL as a hearing person
Why she decided to share her experience on social media and become an advocate for inclusion.

Encouraging your kids to ask questions about other people's differences - and letting those people lead the conversation - is one of the best ways to teach them that everyone has value no matter who they are and what they can do.

Here's where you can find Beth:

https://bethandcoop.com/
@bethandcoop on IG, Tiktok, and Youtube
THE ABCs OF INCLUSION: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781634895965

In this episode Beth mentions the "Welcome to Holland" poem by Emily Perl Kingsley

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Even More Minor But Life-Changing Tips Mar 22, 2023

Show notes

Flat tire? Mismatched kids' socks? Lost luggage? Here's part two of our listeners' minor, life-changing tips that might just make some aspect of your life much easier from now on.

Margaret and Amy discuss:

Tasks you should delegate to your butler
How to fit all that stuff you need in your glove compartment
Margaret's next birthday present from Amy

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Margaret: My Kid Keeps Running Away! Mar 20, 2023

Show notes

If you've ever had a child bolt from you in a parking lot or at preschool drop-off, you know it can be a scary experience. Today's question comes from email (questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com):

I am a mother of 4-year-old twins, a boy and a girl. In the past six months my daughter has been running out to the car, not listening to me when I ask her to walk with me or when I say "stop." I'm always asking both my kids to "stop" and "come back."

It became almost a dangerous situation for us just yesterday when my daughter just kept running through the parking lot during school pickup. She thought it was a game and began giggling when I yelled "Come back!" I was partly terrified and partly so angry.

I love my kids to the moon and back, and I know part of this is four-year-old boundary-testing, but my job as a parent is to keep them safe. How can I teach and motivate my kids to walk with me and not to run ahead?

Sometimes when we are reactive to our kids' behavior – like when we yell out because we are terrified of them running into the street – they find it hilarious. The solution? Find a special word that you can use calmly in these situations. Margaret offers the example "red light."

In a calmer moment, explain to your child that running away is dangerous and against the rules. Tell them that you have a special word like "red light," and when they hear "red light" they must freeze. They are not allowed to move again without your permission. Practice this, and remind them when heading anywhere that you expect them to stay still if you say it. Then when your child takes off, say "red light," and try to keep the emotion out of it, which can be tough. Then, if the child keeps running it is time for immediate consequences, whether that means returning to the car to "try again," or leaving the activity altogether.

A few stern and consistent "red light" reminders should make a big difference in your child's behavior.

Check out this article by Corinna Vangerwen for Today's Parent: 5 ways to get your preschooler to stop running away from you

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Katherine May on "Enchantment" Mar 17, 2023

Show notes

What do we do when it seems like there's nothing new or wondrous in the world for us to enjoy and feel deeply connected to? Katherine May, author of the new book ENCHANTMENT: AWAKENING WONDER IN AN ANXIOUS AGE. tells us about her own journey of rediscovering the world and her own sense of wonder.

Katherine May is the author of the New York Times bestseller WINTERING: THE POWER OF REST AND RETREAT IN DIFFICULT TIMES, which has been translated into 25 languages.

Katherine, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

Why we're all suffering from a "pandemic hangover"
How to make space for reflection and worship in today's world
Why you can't force enchantment (and how your enchantment may vary)
Flaco the escaped owl

Here's where you can find Katherine:

Buy ENCHANTMENT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593329993
Katherine's newsletter: https://katherinemay.substack.com/
Katherine's podcast: https://katherine-may.co.uk/podcast

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Not "Nagging" Mar 15, 2023

Show notes

Want to see a mother get mad? Tell her she's "nagging" you after she's been obligated to repeat an entirely reasonable request several times over. And just why is "nagging" a word that's almost exclusively applied to women?

We need the other members of our households to show up and do their share. As the default parents, we own the lists. So do we stop caring whether others like how we ask and remind? Do we enforce a back-to-one where we're not forced to ask repeatedly in the first place?

In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

The sexism and etymology of the word "nag"
What Amy says are the three types of "nagging," and why we should separate them out
What to say when our repeated asking is framed as annoying to other people (guess whom it's also annoying, too?)

Links!

Jessica Zhang on LinkedIn: "What's In a Nag?"
Episode from If Books Could Kill podcast: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
McClelland, T., & Sliwa, P: "Gendered affordance perception and unequal domestic labour."
Our episode with Lynyetta Willis on "Stable Misery"
Our episode with Eve Rodsky on "Changing the Invisible Workload"
Anne Helen Petersen's newsletter Culture Study

Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm.

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.

Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform.

EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping!

Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply.

LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe.

You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy: We Have a Newborn - and Houseguests Mar 13, 2023

Show notes

Is the postpartum support you're getting actually more harmful than helpful? Here's how to ask for what you really need in the days and weeks after birth.

A listener wrote in to ask:

Has anyone found that 'more is not more' when it comes to help/house guests with a newborn? My in-laws have been here for a week (my newborn is two weeks old) and I'm finding it all more annoying and inconvenient than helpful to have "extra sets of hands."

I also feel like I'm exiled to the bedroom for all breastfeeding and just in general, because I can't handle the constant interaction and endless questions about what I'm doing, where I'm going, what I'm looking for in my own kitchen every time I wander into a common area.

I know my in-laws have the best of intentions and I feel in some ways I should be grateful for the extra help and grateful my son has such loving grandparents who want to spend time with him - but I'm just overwhelmed with resentment at the moment and taking it out on my husband for indirectly facilitating this scenario. Am I just being crazy and ungrateful?

As a new mom, YOU get to decide who's living with you and when! If at all! The first weeks of a newborn's life are for brief visits that don't interfere with routines or make things harder for the new parents. If your in-laws or family are smothering you, you are perfectly within your rights to ask them to leave (if they are staying) or to give you and your partner a little breathing room. Once your baby is older, you'll most likely welcome the help and social interaction from relatives, but for now, it's perfectly ok to just focus on recovering from birth and bonding with your nuclear family.

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Dr. Dana Dorfman on When Worry Works Mar 10, 2023

Show notes

How do we know when our anxiety as parents is warranted and when we're catastrophizing? Dr. Dana Dorfman, author of the new book When Worry Works: How to Harness Your Parenting Stress and Guide Your Teen to Success. gives us a framework for channeling our anxiety into something productive rather than something that hampers us.

Dr. Dana Dorfman is a New York City-based psychotherapist with 30 years' experience treating adolescents and parents in her private practice, schools, and agency settings. In this interview she explains

Why anxiety is actually advantageous
How to contain our teen's anxiety without absorbing it
Cognitive distortions

Knowing your values is key to managing anxiety - what are the three or four core principles that guide everything you do? In a non-anxious moment, reflect on those values, and then use them as your guiding star for parenting decisions - rather than fears you may have about your children's future or current wellbeing.

Here's where you can find Dr. Dorfman:

https://drdanadorfman.com/
@drdanadorfman on IG
Dr. Dana Dorfman on FB
Dana Dorfman, PhD on LinkedIn
Buy Dr. Dorfman's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781538164532
Take Dana's anxiety type reaction quiz!

Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm.

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

This episode is brought to you byBetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.

Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform.

EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping!

Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply.

LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe.

You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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