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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

DEEP DIVE: It's Not "Nagging" Apr 15, 2024

Show notes

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

Want to see a mother get mad? Tell her she's "nagging" you after she's been obligated to repeat an entirely reasonable request several times over. And just why is "nagging" a word that's almost exclusively applied to women?

We need the other members of our households to show up and do their share. As the default parents, we own the lists. So do we stop caring whether others like how we ask and remind? Do we enforce a back-to-one where we're not forced to ask repeatedly in the first place?

In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

The sexism and etymology of the word "nag"
What Amy says are the three types of "nagging," and why we should separate them out
What to say when our repeated asking is framed as annoying to other people (guess to whom it's also annoying, too?)

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Jessica Zhang on LinkedIn: "What's In a Nag?"
Episode from If Books Could Kill podcast: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
McClelland, T., & Sliwa, P: "Gendered affordance perception and unequal domestic labour."
Our episode with Lynyetta Willis on "Stable Misery"
Our episode with Eve Rodsky on "Changing the Invisible Workload"
Anne Helen Petersen's newsletter Culture Study

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,

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Fresh Take: Diane Boden, "Minimalist Moms" Apr 12, 2024

Show notes

Is it even possible to declutter your home for more than one minute at a time when you've got kids? Diane Boden, host of the Minimalist Moms podcast, offers parenting tips for cutting down on possessions in a manageable way.

Diane Boden is the host of the Minimalist Moms Podcast and author of Minimalist Moms: Living and Parenting with Simplicity. She lives in Ohio with her husband and three kids.

Diane, Margaret, and Amy discuss:

What minimalism can mean for different people
Simple steps for starting the decluttering process—and some more radical strategies too
How to reconcile different set points for clutter between parenting partners
How to deal with family members who love giving gifts

Here's where you can find Diane:

minimalistmomspodcast.com
@minimalistmomspodcast on all socials
Buy MINIMALIST MOMS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781642505092
Listen to the Minimalist Moms podcast

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, minimalism, decluttering

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How Involved Should We Be with Our Kids' Schools? Apr 10, 2024

Show notes

How do we help our kids succeed in school without becoming the dreaded "snowplow" parents? Here are some parenting tips for advocating for your child at school when necessary, while also empowering our kids to navigate their own learning.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

How school environments have changed in the last few decades
Best practices for helping kids of different ages manage homework
How to start a productive conversation with your child's educators about concerns you may have

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Jenny Anderson for TIME Magazine: "Many American Parents Have No Idea How Their Kids Are Doing in School"
Carrie Bauer, et. al, for Slate: Help Me Help My Kid
Libby Stanford for Education Week: "Does Parent Involvement Really Help Students? Here’s What the Research Says"
U.S. Department of Education: "Raise the Bar: Resources for Parents and Families"
Cara Goodwin for KQED's Mind/Shift: "How important is homework, and how much should parents help?"
See our interview with Jennifer Breheny Wallace - author of Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic — and What We Can Do About It

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, academic achievement, school achievement, homework

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DEEP DIVE: Matthew Fray on Strengthening Our Relationships Apr 08, 2024

Show notes

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes that he did. He's a 43-year-old single father who is best known for his viral blog post "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink." Fray is the author of the new book "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." Matthew gives us wonderful, poignant insights into how to validate our partners, find out their true needs, and re-establish trust when we've lost it.

In this episode, Matthew, Margaret, and Amy discuss:

Why we may not realize we're betraying our partner's trust
Matthew's hierarchy of needs in relationships
Why couples always have the same fight

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Here's where you can find Matthew:

matthewfray.com
Buy Matthew's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063072251
FB: @matthewfrayMBTTTR
IG: @frayrelationships
Twitter: @MBTTTR

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, marriage, partnerships, divorce

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Fresh Take: Amy Shoenthal on "The Setback Cycle" Apr 05, 2024

Show notes

If setbacks are so common, especially in the trenches of motherhood, how can we learn useful lessons from them? Amy Shoenthal, author of the new book THE SETBACK CYCLE, offers a framework for navigating setbacks and becoming stronger because of them.

Amy Shoenthal is a journalist, marketing consultant and a contributor to Forbes Women and Harvard Business Review.

Shoenthal and Margaret discuss:

Why our brains learn more from setbacks than successes and why people who have setbacks are better at problem solving
Shoenthal's four-phase framework for navigating setbacks
The "motherhood penalty" that women in the workforce experience

Here's where you can find Amy Shoenthal:

www.thesetbackcycle.com
@amysho on Instagram and Twitter
https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyshoenthal/
Buy THE SETBACK CYCLE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9798888451687

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, setback, resilience

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Our Lowest-Stake Conspiracy Theories Apr 03, 2024

Show notes

We asked our listeners to tell us their lowest-stakes conspiracy theories, and as usual, you all really came through! Whether it's gum with flavor that goes extinct in thirty seconds or less, or printers that indicate the need for new ink well ahead of schedule, here are all the extremely minor daily occurrences that just may have sinister planning behind them. We're just asking questions here.

Amy mentions this I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE sketch in this episode: "That's a Chunky" sketch

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,

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DEEP DIVE: When Our Partners Just Don't Get It Apr 01, 2024

Show notes

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

Why does it feel like I do all the work around here? Why can't my partner take on a little more? Why does a dad get to go on Good Morning America for DOING HIS DAUGHTER'S HAIR TWICE A WEEK??

There is evidence that having kids reduces marital harmony. And for a woman, the birth of a child often means taking on a second shift while her partner's routine may barely be interrupted. So how can we find labor divisions that work for everyone?

In this episode, Margaret and Amy discuss:

What the science says about relationships post-children
Signs that a partnership is operating unsustainably
Tips for how to start the conversation about dividing up parenting responsibilities

Here are links to some of the resources we mention:

The Infamous "Husband Crimes" episode
What Happens to a Marriage After Having Children?
Fighting Constantly After Baby? Read This.
9 Signs That a Relationship Just Can't Be Saved
And a bonus from the Husband Crimes archives: Kurt Vonnegut's attempt at gender equity

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity

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Fresh Take: Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. Gordon Neufeld on Maintaining Healthy Connection with Our Kids Mar 29, 2024

Show notes

How can we maintain a strong attachment to our kids as they begin to look to their peers for approval instead of their parents? Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. Gordon Neufeld explain the crucial importance of remaining attached to our children as they grow in their new and revised edition of their book HOLD ONTO YOUR KIDS.

Dr. Gordon Neufeld is an internationally renowned psychologist and foremost authority on child development, and founder of the Neufeld Institute. Dr. Gabor Maté is a renowned speaker and bestselling author, highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development.

Amy, Dr. Maté, and Dr. Neufeld discuss:

Why "peer orientation" doesn't actually have to be the way things go
How cultural shifts in society have accelerated the rise of peer orientation
How we can reattach to our children and remain their most important role model

Here's where else you can find Dr. Maté and Dr. Neufeld:

gabormatemd (IG); @DrGaborMate (X); Gabor Maté (FB)
@NeufeldInst (X); Neufeld Institute (FB)
Buy HOLD ONTO YOUR KIDS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780375760280

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,

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Making the "Invisible Workload" Visible Mar 27, 2024

Show notes

What should we do when all the work we do to run our family's lives is done so successfully that they not only don't acknowledge it—they don't even understand it? How do we help our partners understand that saying "I left the doctor a message, but they didn't call back" does not really count as a completed task?

It's all about what's called the "invisible workload." In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

whether "cognitive labor" (Allison Daminger) or "emotional labor" (Rose Hackman) might be even better terms for what we're talking about
pushing back on "weaponized incompetence"
the difference between taking on tasks and taking on outcomes
The importance of giving voice to invisible labor in front of kids

Here are links to some interviews/books we mentioned in the episode:

Our interview with Eve Rodsky
Mac Daniel for Harvard Radcliffe Institute: "The Unseen Inequity of Cognitive Labor"
FAIR PLAY by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943
EMOTIONAL LABOR by Rose Hackman: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250777355
THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE by Lyz Lenz: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor,

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DEEP DIVE: Teaching Kids Patience Mar 25, 2024

Show notes

We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes about "getting our kids to...," from listening to what we say the first time, to talking to us about what matters most to them. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist.

If a three-year-old can't wait thirty seconds more for dinner, will she grow up to be an impatient adult? Is there anything we can do to teach our kids patience– and should we?

Impatience is completely normal in kids (not to mention grownups), but there are ways to help our children develop this skill. It's worth the effort– not to make our kids more compliant and quiet in church, but because patience and overall happiness, as it turns out, are highly correlated.

In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss:

Why impatience is developmentally appropriate- and when kids are ready to become more patient
The infamous "marshmallow experiment"
How to model patience for our kids (and find a little more happiness ourselves)

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Steve Calechman for Greater Good Magazine: "How to Help Your Kids Be a Little More Patient"
Angel E Navidad for SimplyPsychology: "Marshmallow Test Experiment and Delayed Gratification"
Scholastic Parents: "Teaching Patience"

Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, patience for kids

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