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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Comparing Without Despairing Aug 07, 2024

Show notes

It's easy to compare our parenting—often as measured by our kids' achievements—with their peers' achievements. As in, how other parents might be doing it better.

This week, we're talking parenting tips for resisting “mompetition”— and how we can use comparison to create healthy perspectives instead of "compare and despair."

Amy and Margaret discuss:

Why competition is a biological imperative
The effects of social media and other societal forces on parenting
How to know if we're putting too much pressure on our kids

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Matthew Hutson for The Atlantic: "Why We Compete"
Aruna Raghuram for ParentCircle: "Are you a competitive mom? Here are the many ways in which mompetition can harm your child"
Urban Dictionary definition of "mompetition"
Eileen Kennedy-Moore for Psychology Today: "How to Resist Competitive Parenting"

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mompetition, parenting competition

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

DEEP DIVE: Admitting Things Aren't Perfect Aug 05, 2024

Show notes

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into letting things go—arguments, unattainable standards, you name it! You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

It's hard to admit things aren't perfect. It's especially hard for moms. Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett described three types of perfectionism in the 1990s: self-directed (I must be a size 2), others-directed (do that piano exercise again until you get it right), and "socially mediated" perfectionism, which comes from society making unrealistic demands of a person or a group and punishing that person when she falls short. Sound familiar?

Turns out the amount of socially mediated perfectionism a parent feels is directly related to her level of "parental burnout," defined as exhaustion in one’s role as a parent, feelings of being fed up as a parent, and even emotional distancing from one’s children. Not the place any of us want to get to. So why is it so hard to admit things aren't perfect? And how can we start?

Here are links to some of the research on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Fatemeh Ghanbari Jahromia et al: The relationship between socially prescribed perfectionism and depression: The mediating role of maladaptive cognitive schemas
Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett: Perfectionism in the Self and Social Contexts
Matilda Sorkkila and Kaisa Aunola: Risk Factors for Parental Burnout among Finnish Parents: The Role of Socially Prescribed Perfectionism

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, self-conscious, mindfulness

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Debra Hendrickson on What We Can Do About Climate Change Aug 02, 2024

Show notes

We know climate change affects not only our children's health but their future. So what can we as individuals do?

Debra Hendrickson is a board-certified pediatrician practicing in Reno, Nevada, and a Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Nevada School of Medicine. She is also the author of the author of the new book THE AIR THEY BREATHE: A PEDIATRICIAN ON THE FRONT LINES OF CLIMATE CHANGE.

In this interview, Margaret and Debra discuss:

How climate change is affecting the health of children
Why we should not feel completely defeated when it comes to reversing climate change
Small steps we as individuals can take to reduce carbon emissions and keep our kids safe

Here's where you can find Debra:

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, climate change, climate change effects, global warming, global warming effects

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sibling Spacing: Close Together or Far Apart? Jul 31, 2024

Show notes

What are the best things about having closely spaced siblings? What about farther apart? Siblings' closeness, amount of conflict, and relationships as adults are all affected by the age differences between them.

In this episode, the listeners with closely spaced children tell us why that has worked for them (constant playmates) and not (constant bickering), while those with kids with larger age differences point to the unexpected connections that can still result.

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Michael Waters for The Atlantic: A Subtle Shift Shaking Up Sibling Relationships
ANALYZING CONTEMPORARY FERTILITY by Christine R. Schwartz et. al: Chapter 10: Trends in Years Spent as Mothers of Young Children: The Role of Completed Fertility, Birth Spacing, and Multiple Partner Fertility
Bart H. H. Golsteyn and Cécile A. J. Magnée for the IZA Institute of Labor Economics: Does Birth Spacing Affect Personality?
World Bank Group, "World Population Prospects: 2022 Revision:" Fertility rate, total (births per woman) - United States
Cicirelli, V. G. for Developmental Psychology. Effects of sibling structure and interaction on children's categorization style.
Sahar Borairi, et. al for the Society for Research in Child Development: "Do siblings influence one another? Unpacking processes that occur during sibling conflict"
Erping Xiao et. al for Early Child Development and Care: "The influence of birth order and sibling age gap on children’s sharing decision"
Read all of our listeners' great advice on the original thread in our Facebook group
Listen to our episode "Birth Order: Can We Fight It?"

Join our Facebook group for advice and laughs from other moms just like you!

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, siblings, brothers, sisters, sibling relationship, kids age gap, sibling age gap

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

DEEP DIVE: How To Stop Having The Same Fight Jul 29, 2024

Show notes

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into letting things go—arguments, unattainable standards, you name it! You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

Having the same fight doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. But it is totally annoying. In this episode we discuss the modes of negativity at play when we repeat the same conflicts- and what we can do to break the cycle, whether it’s our partners or kids.

Conflict may be unavoidable- but it can be at least a little more productive.

Here are links to some of the takes on this topic that we discuss in this episode:

We The Norths on YouTube: How We Avoid Stupid Fights: The Number System
Esther Perel for Cosmopolitan: How to Stop Having the Same Fight With Your Boyfriend All the Time
Kristine Fellizar for Bustle: 7 Hacks To Avoid Having The Same Fight Over & Over In Your Relationship
Charlotte Latvala for Good Housekeeping: More Fun, Less Fighting
Ted Lasso on Apple TV
Eckhart Tolle on Oprah Super Sunday: How To Identify And Stop Your Pain Body

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, fighting, couples fighting, partners fighting, arguing, spouses fighting, marital discord, marital strain, marriage

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Erin and Stephen Mitchell, "Too Tired To Fight" Jul 26, 2024

Show notes

Do you and your partner find yourselves talking past each other when arguing? Erin and Stephen Mitchell, authors of the new book TOO TIRED TO FIGHT, discuss how parenting can impact relationships (including their own!) and strategies to manage conflict and stay connected.

Erin and Stephen Mitchell are the cofounders of Couples Counseling for Parents, a company focused on providing access to research-informed, psychologically sound online education for couples.

Amy, Erin, and Stephen discuss:

Why fighting between couples often increases once kids come into the picture
What conflict in a relationship really signifies—and why it's not a bad thing
Why conflict resolution doesn't have to be dead serious all the time

Here's where you can find Erin and Stephen:

www.couplescounselingforparents.com
Buy TOO TIRED TO FIGHT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593714270
Listen to the "Couples Counselling for Parents" podcast

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, relationships, fighting, couples, marriage, couple arguing, couple fighting, conflict in relationships

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are We Helping or Are We Helicoptering? Jul 24, 2024

Show notes

Is "helicopter parenting" actually a definable thing? Or is it just what we call parents who are being annoying? Overparenting is something that it's easy to be judgey about in other people, and a lot harder to identify in ourselves. Parents have to help. It's what we're there for. So how do we manage without micromanaging?

In this episode, we discuss:

The conditions that trigger parental anxiety (probably the true cause of overattentive parenting)
Allowing struggles and disappointments to be part of our kids' journeys
How to discern for yourself if you're maybe helicoptering more than helping

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Kate Bayless for Parents Magazine: "What Is Helicopter Parenting, And How Does It Impact Kids?"
Julia Schønning Vigdal and Kolbjørn Kallesten Brønnick for Frontiers in Psychology: "A Systematic Review of “Helicopter Parenting” and Its Relationship With Anxiety and Depression"
Our Fresh Take with Camilo Ortiz

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, helicopter parent, snowplow parent

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

DEEP DIVE: Let's Stop Caring What People Think Jul 22, 2024

Show notes

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into letting things go—arguments, unattainable standards, you name it! You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

What if we didn't let other people's judgments change our game plans—as women, as mothers, and as humans? We're wired to pay attention to what other people think. There's a reason those judgments can be painful. Are there ways we can break free and care less?

In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss...

Why our innate need to be included (and not ostracized) is hard-wired
The "behavioral inhibition system" and how it gets triggered
Whose feelings and judgments we should take into account
Why parenting is an especially problematic zone for others' judgments of us

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Our episode "Parenting With An Audience"
Governor J.B. Pritzker's speech to the 2023 graduates of Northwestern University: "The kindest person in the room is often the smartest."
Rachel Moss for HuffPost UK: How To Actually Stop Caring What Other People Think Of You
hotter.com: At What Age Do You Feel Most Comfortable In Yourself?
Arthur C. Brooks for The Atlantic: No One Cares!
Naomi I. Eisenberger: Why Rejection Hurts: What Social Neuroscience Has Revealed About the Brain’s Response to Social Rejection
Sarah Coyne for The Joplin Globe: Parenting with an audience changes the rules

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, self-conscious, mindfulness

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Emily Cherkin on Tech-Intentional Parenting Jul 19, 2024

Show notes

Is screen use a daily battle of wills in your house? Emily Cherkin, author of the new book "THE SCREENTIME SOLUTION: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family," explains how to model a healthy relationship with tech for our kids.

Emily Cherkin, MEd., consults with parents, offers school presentations and professional development training, and brings her tech-intentional approach to as many people as possible.

Emily and Margaret discuss:

What "tech-intentional" really means and how it's different from being screen-free
How to align screen use with family values
How to model tech intentionality with your kids

Here's where you can find Emily:

http://www.thescreentimeconsultant.com
Instagram: @thescreentimeconsultant
Facebook: @thescreentimeconsultant
X: @ScreentimeLlc
Buy THE SCREENTIME SOLUTION: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9798886451122

Listen to our Fresh Take with Julie Lythcott-Haims

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, tech, technology, screens, screentime

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When Mom Leaves Town Jul 17, 2024

Show notes

Does it seem like just as much work to leave your kids behind for a couple of days as not to go in the first place? Do your instructions for family operational procedures during your absence run more than five pages?

Getting away from our kids—for work, for the weekend, for a friend’s 40th—isn’t just good for us. It’s also an opportunity for our kids to realize that “only Mommy” stuff they pull when we’re around is not as necessary as they might have thought.

Margaret and Amy discuss:

Why our kids may behave better when we aren’t around (and why it's not a bad thing)
Why the best time to call your kids when you travel is in the morning
How the instructions you leave behind can change as your kids grow

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Kari Bodnarchuk for The Boston Globe: Preparing Kids for When a Parent Travels
Smart Women Travelers: Keeping Mom’s Business Trip from Being Mom’s Guilt Trip
Our episode "We Forgot What Little Kids Were Like"
Kara Williams has great advice for vacationing with kids of all ages

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, travel

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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