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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

How To Be The Teacher’s Favorite Parent Oct 24, 2018

Show notes

When we were kids, there weren’t any IEPs. There weren’t any teacher conferences (unless someone was in BIG trouble). There wasn’t any school website. For better and for worse, the teacher/parent relationship was not something that our parents considered. It barely even existed.

Today our kids’ homework loads, the ever-beckoning online portal, the costs of a good education— and okay, our perhaps sometimes-over-involvement in our children’s lives— all mean that we are meant to have a much more direct relationship with our children’s teachers, and they with us, than our parents could have ever imagined.

We think this is a good thing. We also think it’s complicated. We also think it’s a great episode idea, suggested by one of our listeners who is a teacher. So on our Facebook page we asked teachers:

“What do your favorite parents do (and not do) to support your work?”

In this episode we discuss the advice those teachers gave us, including

what teachers want us to understand as parents

the beat-the-clock madness of back-to-school nights

how to get the most out of a parent-teacher conference

the things you need to make sure your child’s teacher understands (and they’re not all learning-related. Then again, maybe they are)

how to email teachers without annoying them

how to keep conversations productive even in difficult situations

Thanks to all the teachers who contributed their advice to this episode. Here’s two of our favorite answers. We’ll be keeping these in mind:

ELLEN: My favorite parents are the ones that follow through at home. They never blame the teacher. They choose to work with the teacher. You can openly and honestly address academic and behavior concerns with these parents because you know they have your back and you are in it together for the year. Finally, a simple note of thank you or support goes a LONG way. It doesn’t have to come with a gift. It simply needs to come from the heart.

LAUREN: I have been a K-2 teacher the past 10 years and the biggest thing that parents can do is listen to teachers and understand that most teachers have your child’s best interest at heart, are passionate about what they do, and are on your team. Those are the parents that I have always appreciated the most.

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Self-Regulation for Kids: Helping Them (And You) Deal With Tantrums Oct 17, 2018

Show notes

When one of our kids is having a meltdown in Aisle Six of the supermarket, we will often remind ourselves: He’s not giving us a hard time. He’s having a hard time.

And sometimes those words will seem zero percent helpful.

But they’re true. As Dr. Ross Greene puts it, “Kids do well if they can.” Therefore, when they’re falling apart there’s a reason, as Dr. Vasco Lopes of the Child Mind Institute explains: “A majority of kids who have frequent meltdowns do it in very predictable situations.”

Parenting expert Dr. Stuart Shanker suggests we reframe our responses by getting curious about where the outburst is coming from, finding patterns that might provide clues– and then teach our children the skills to regulate their emotions themselves. We loved this infographic by Kristin Weins, reminding us that tantrums are kind of like icebergs: there’s much more beneath the surface than what we can see.

In this episode we discuss:

how to help children of all ages regulate their emotions so tantrums occur less frequently

why toddlers’ tantrums are a biological imperative (sorry)

the things to do during a tantrum vs. the things to definitely do later

* how to keep ourselves out of “red brain” even when our kids are there

what not to say once they finally calm down

why teenagers’ tantrums feel like they come out of nowhere

And here’s links to some of the research and resources discussed in this episode:

Dr. Stuart Shanker’s Self-Reg Knowledge Series

Kathleen Megan for The Hartford Courant: The Biology Behind Teens’ Temper Tantrums

understood.org: Why Does My Child Still Have Temper Tantrums?

childmind.org: How Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation?

Dr. Harvey Karp’s “fast food rule” for talking to a toddler

the “chicken cheese bread” recipe Margaret mentioned:

If all else fails, and you need new inspiration to keep calm, try this advice from Dr. David Walsh:

If you feel your blood pressure rising, take a deep breath and remember this advice: ‘When you feel like taking the wind out of his sails, it is a better idea to take your sails out of his wind.’

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Vacationing With Kids- What Works Jun 20, 2018

Show notes

The biggest drawback to vacationing with kids may be this: wherever you go, your kids will still actually be with you.

But seriously… successful traveling as a family means keeping everyone happy. That doesn’t mean your choice of vacation destination needs to revolve around your kids, but it does mean your expectations for sightseeing or miles logged per day might need to be somewhat flexible. After all, you have even less of an escape from your kids complaining while on vacation than you do when you’re at home.

And despite all the hassles, we both love traveling with our kids. Even when it’s not easy, it’s always worth the journey. So this episode is full of ideas for creating family vacations with appeal for all age groups, whether you’re going across the state or around the world.

We discuss:

the wonders of RV travel

why the anticipation of a trip can be as much fun as the trip itself

the indispensability of Ziploc bags

how older kids will accept sightseeing when it is offered with a tiny side order of danger

our listeners’ very best travel-with-kids tips

Here’s some writing we love about traveling with kids:

Meg Lukans Noonan for Travel and Leisure: The Age-Appropriate Vacation

Mariam Navaid Ottimofiore for The Huffington Post: Seven Reasons Why Travel is Never Wasted on Young Kids

Sarah Clemence for Travel and Leisure: 10 Essential Hacks for Traveling with Small Kids

…and our own Episode 20, on what to pack when traveling with kids

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Reluctant Readers Feb 21, 2018

Show notes

Are audio books cheating? Must every book our second-graders read feature Poopy Man and The Toilet King? Are reluctant readers doomed to fall behind their peers? Will Margaret or Amy ever read anything other than their Facebook feeds ever again?

This episode is full of ideas to get everyone in your family reading– plus books your kids will drop everything to read.

We love this “book traps” idea from our listener Nicole:

Find books in the library that seem like they might be irresistible to your child and place them strategically around the house so that your child stumbles upon them and feel like reading them was their own idea.

What about audiobooks? Is it counterproductive to let kids who struggle with decoding listen to their books instead? Jamie Martin, assistive technology consultant for understood.org, says no:

Listening to audiobooks isn’t “cheating.” The main purpose of reading is to get information. It doesn’t matter what path that information takes to reach the brain.

Here’s some resources for parents that we recommend in this episode:

Common Sense Media’s lists of books for reluctant readers

Amy Mascott for PBS Parents: What To Do When Your Child Hates Reading

Susan Dominus, NYT, Motherhood Screened Off

Linda Flanagan for KQED: How Audiobooks Can Help Kids Who Struggle With Reading

Mary Ann Scheuer’s Great Kid Books, a blog which recommendis books for kids from 4-14.

Here’s books and authors that Amy recommends in this episode:

the Amulet series (graphic novels for grade-school readers)

anything by Raina Telgemaier (graphic novels with heroines for grade-school readers

You Wouldn’t Want to Be… series (real history with a dose of gross-out humor)

the American Girl collection (the best you’re-growing-up books out there)

What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions (a perfect coffee table book. Irresistible for all ages)

and a few audiobook series recommended by Amy’s 10-year-old daughter:

A Series of Unfortunate Events

The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place

The Mysterious Benedict Society

and of course, Harry Potter, with hundreds of characters all voiced by Jim Dale.

Here’s the books that have gotten our listeners’ kids reading. Thanks for everyone who joined in with ideas on our Facebook page!

Lauren: Pete the Cat, Wayside Stories from Wayside School

Maureen: Mo Willems

Tracy: “Right now (8 years old) we are loving Super Rabbit Boy.”

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Go-To Dinners Jan 24, 2018

Show notes

What makes a “go-to dinner”? One pot is good. 30 minutes or less is better. But we’ll use every cookie sheet and pot in the house if it’s 1) not pizza and 2) all of our kids will actually eat it.

Here’s links to all of our own go-to recipes that we discuss in this episode, plus the ones our listeners swear by:

Margaret’s Go-To Dinners

Beef Empanadas (use refrigerated pie crust for the dough)

Green Soup (Margaret adds chicken)

Slow Cooker Pork Shoulder

and, believe it or not, Lobster Thermidor (Lego Batman’s favorite, natch)

Amy’s Go-To Dinners

Roasted Broccoli with Shrimp (ten minutes, one pan. If you don’t have the spices, skip em.)

Sheet Pan Fajitas

Taco Night (this is a super-easy recipe from Laura Fuentes)

Our Listeners’ Child-Approved Meals

Rebecca’s Loaded Potato Soup

Mollie’s Chickpea Tikka Masala

Diane’s Asian Noodles (kudos to this brilliant bit of improvisation):

and Nancy’s Spanish Rice (thanks, Amy’s mom!)

Here’s some of our favorite places to get go-to dinner inspiration :

Amy’s sister loves the Weelicious website

Margaret’s favorite cookbook: America’s Test Kitchen: The Best Simple Recipes

Amy’s favorite recipe app: Treehouse Table

And our new obsession! Our podcast’s latest sponsor: HelloFresh. HelloFresh delivers weekly recipes and fresh ingredients straight to your doorstep. Last night Amy made their Veggie-Loaded Orzo with Sausage. Margaret and her husband made the Chicken Cheddar Fajitas. People, they were devoured. No planning, no shopping, no complaining. We are huge fans! We think you should try HelloFresh for your family-and you can get $30 off your first HelloFresh delivery by going to hellofresh.com and entering the code mother30.

What’s your go-to dinner? Tell us in the comments or on our Facebook page!

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New to What Fresh Hell? Start Here Jan 01, 2018

Show notes

“What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” is a hilarious podcast exploring the joys and challenges of parenthood and adulting in general. Join hosts Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables as they navigate motherhood, careers, relationships, and the ever-changing landscape of women’s lives with a little research, a big dose of relatable stories, and a whole lot of laughter.

“What Fresh Hell” is a Webby-honored podcast with 12 million downloads and hundreds of episodes. Use the search function in the upper-right corner to find the topics you want to hear more about. From toddlers to teens, from toxic positivity to rejoining the workforce, we’ve talked about it.

Listen to "What Fresh Hell" wherever you get your podcasts.

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