Stay ConnectedLeaving no stone unturned in our quest for the weirdest stories, guys, and art from the Middle Ages.
The Weird Medieval Guys podcast is brought to you by Olivia, the creator of internet sensation Weird Medieval Guys, and Aran, a historian and fellow weird guy connoisseur.
Copyright: © Olivia Swarthout and Aran Prince-Tappé 2023
Oh my god the Weird Medieval Guys Podcast™ has gone cottagecore!
You know what clothes are, you love wearing clothes. But someone has to make them, and in the Middle Ages, they didn't have industrial-scale fast fashion sweatshops. So who made them then? Well, sit back and enjoy as Olivia spins a yarn about the medieval textile industry. It's got everything you want in a Weird Medieval Guys Podcast™ episode: gender! industrial relations! dismemberment! Ewe won't want to miss this one...
Don’t forget to join the Weird Medieval Guys discord server!
Infernal covenants, black sabbaths and missing infants; dark deeds are afoot in the forests of medieval Europe... or are they?
It's a Halloween Spooktacular! When the Devil transforms Joe Mason into an angry amphibian, Olivia and Aran must venture deep into the woods* to find a witch who can restore his humanity. But first, they have to figure out what medieval people actually believed about witches. Spoiler alert: it's not what you think! Along the way, we'll meet magical detectives, pious necromancers, and a lot of people who need to stop laundering their sexual hangups as academia.
Also discussed: caked-up frogs, the historical accuracy of Warhammer 40,000, and which Better Call Saul character is most like the Devil.
JOIN THE WEIRD MEDIEVAL GUYS DISCORD TODAY: https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKky
*The events of this podcast are legally distinct from any and all seasonal miniseries' produced for Cartoon Network.
Olivia and Aran are back with another zinger as they begin to start to somewhat unpack some of the absolutely insane customs and beliefs that made up the Norse pagan world view!
Check out Snorri Sturlson's Prose Edda here:https://sacred-texts.com/neu/pre/index.htm
And join the official WMG discord here: https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKky
The music used in this episode is from Ísmús, an online Icelandic song and culture archive. The intro song, Óðinn gramur ása reið, can be found here: https://www.ismus.is/tjodfraedi/hljodrit/1031872
Subsequent musical segments are from Alþingisrímur: Nú skal byrja braginn á, which can be found here:https://ismus.is/tjodfraedi/hljodrit/1000209
In the mid-12th century, a mysterious letter was circulating the courts of Christian Europe. Its supposed author was Prester John, a powerful, immortal Christian king who purported to rule a fantastical empire in India.
Prester John was never real. But who wrote the letter and why? And why did Europeans spend centuries searching for him despite abundant evidence that the whole story was nonsense?
To answer these questions, Olivia and Aran will set out on a globe-trotting adventure, from the yurt-strewn steppe of Central Asia, to Italy’s city-republics, the highlands of East Africa, and even further afield. Along the way they’ll meet befuddled Ethiopian diplomats, fearsome warrior-khans, and maybe even the real Prester John himself…
Also discussed: Olivia’s love of big cans, the things you learn at Unitarian Universalist Sunday school, and why we can’t have cat-sized elephant friends.
Further reading:
The Letter of Prester John: http://www.ancienttexts.org/library/celtic/ctexts/presterjohn.html
Devin DeWeese, "The Influence of the Mongols on the Religious Consciousness of Thirteenth-century Europe." https://www.jstor.org/stable/43193054
Matteo Salvatore, "The Ethiopian Age of Exploration: Prester John's Discovery of Europe, 1306-1458." https://www.jstor.org/stable/41060852
Marianne O'Doherty, "Imperial Fantasies: Imagining Christian empire in three fourteenth-century versions of the Book of John Mandeville." https://www.jstor.org/stable/26396423?read-now=1&seq=3#page_scan_tab_contents
Karl F. Helliner, "Prester John's Letter: a Medieval Utopia." https://www.jstor.org/stable/1086970?read-now=1&seq=10#page_scan_tab_contents
Samantha Kelly: "Ewosṭateans at the Council of Florence (1441): Diplomatic Implications between Ethiopia, Europe, Jerusalem and Cairo." https://journals.openedition.org/afriques/1858#:~:text=The%20Council%20of%20Florence%20must,vociferous%20opponents%2C%20the%20Coptic%20patriarchs.
Unfortunately, Aran and Olivia are still recovering from one heck of a summer! Regular WMG pod episodes will resume in two weeks' time. In the interim, please enjoy another dump of outtakes that we have pieced together in order to give you all a glimpse into the depths of your two hosts' sick, twisted minds.....
Several weeks after Joan of Arc led the battle to lift the siege at Orleans, she was already famous across Europe. However, it was perhaps how her story ended that cemented her status as a hero of worldwide and eternal renown.
Our series on the Hundred Years' War concludes here, with a final episode about Joan of Arc's capture, trial, fate, and legacy....
As we continue our series on the Hundred Years' War, Armagnac cause has never seemed so hopeless. An Englishman sits on the French throne, the Scottish army has been crushed, and now the Armagnac stronghold of Orléans is about to fall.
That is, until the emergence of the most unlikely hero: a charismatic peasant girl, who claims to speak to angels.
In this episode, we chart the rise of Joan of Arc, from a normal working-class life in north-west France, to the self-appointed saviour of the nation.
For more information on what we discuss in this episode:
Music used in this episode:
Our series on the Hundred Years' War continues with a deep dive into the events of the conflict and the consequences of a century of violence and death across Europe. Join Olivia and Aran as they discuss how the Black Death, rapid military and social developments, and a million succession crises almost brought France to the brink of defeat by the English. Until, somewhere in northeastern France, in a sleepy village called Domrémy, a young woman begins to have visions....
Join us in two weeks' time as we continue the series by giving you a proper introduction to Joan of Arc and her exploits! Until then, enjoy the show.
For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
Music used in this episode:
https://archive.org/details/ld-100-en-retrouvant-le-moyen-age-charles-ravier/LD+100%E2%80%A2f1.wav
And be sure to join the official WMG Discord server!!
A new, three-part epic kicks off in this episode of Weird Medieval Guys, covering the Hundred Years War, the apocalyptic conflict which forged the modern nations of England, France and Scotland.
In this episode, Olivia and Aran chart the prelude to the conflict: the Scottish Wars of Independence. After the unexpected, heirless death of King Alexander III, Scotland is plunged into a crisis that threatens to turn into a full-scale civil war. But machinations in Paris and London will transform this dynastic feud into the spark that will set all of western Europe ablaze...
If all that isn't enough for you, we've also got a magic stone, a disembodied heart, and a kingdom saved by an army of prostitutes. Never say we do nothing for you.
The European football championships have kicked off, so it's time to talk sports! Join Olivia and Aran as they crack open a cold one or several and take a look at the long history of football in Europe, as well as the almost-as-long history of football hooliganism. In doing so, we will try to understand why there have been so many attempts to ban the sport....that is to say, why every attempt to do so has failed!
For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
It's time to get continental because on this episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, we're heading to the Holy Roman Empire! When Voltaire famously said that the Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, Roman, nor an empire, he probably didn't think that his words would haunt history classrooms and conversations centuries in the future. Unfortunately they did, and so we are left to deal with the legacy of this smarmy soundbite. Join Olivia and Aran as they unpack what on earth this crazy, crazy thing really was and try to deliver a verdict on whether Voltaire was right.
For more on some of what we discuss, please check out:
And be sure to join the official WMG Discord server!!
Oh no! You've become unstuck in time and now you're in 15th century England with no idea what to do or how to avoid a miserable life as a social pariah who speaks an unrecognisable language and is ignorant to the rules and structure of the world around you! There has to be a better way! Or is there? Join Olivia and Aran as they journey back to medieval times to figure out the best way to get by. Should you become a monk or a nun? Have a go at blacksmithing? Or try to wow the village rubes with modern technology and ideas? All these options and more will be discussed in the search for a decent medieval life.
For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
It's grim up north...
Why did a five-hundred-year-old Viking colony in Greenland suddenly disappear, with no trace or record? In this episode, Olivia, Aran, and local archaeologist Joe Mason assemble to try and solve one of the most enduring mysteries in medieval history. It's a quest that will take them out of the libertarian "paradise" of 11th century, to the freezing walrus-infested shores of Greenland, and beyond - to the promised land of Vinland. Along the way they'll encounter Native American ghosts, Inuit revenge epics, and the Vikings' love of pointless, cyclical violence.
Sources:
The Saga of the Greenlanders: https://vidforul.wordpress.com/the-saga-of-the-greenlanders/
The Saga of Erik the Red: https://sagadb.org/eiriks_saga_rauda.en
"Tales and Traditions of the Eskimo" by Hinrich Johannes Rink: https://sacred-texts.com/nam/inu/tte/index.htm
Music used:
Peta, Etulu & Susan - This Land is Your Land (Inuktitut) - https://citizenfreak.com/titles/319453-peta-etulu-susan-songs-by-etulu-susan-peta
Olafur reid med Bjorgum fram - https://www.loc.gov/item/2017701460/
Yes, you heard us right!! Join Olivia and Aran as they defend their most dubious claim to date, which is definitely not just an excuse to step beyond our usual remit and talk about the wild, delightful world that was Edo Period Japan! We explore why Edo Japan was so cut off from the world and the effects this had on its society, plus some of the cultural developments that took place along the way. Also discussed are
The song used in this episode is sōran bushi, a Japanese folk song traditionally sung by fishers.
Journey across space and time with Olivia and Aran this week as we head to medieval Wales, home of one of history's finest bardic traditions. But what was a bard, what did they do, and why did Wales have so darn many of them? Give the episode a listen to learn all this and more! Also discussed are sand worms, long houses, and why foxes are better than babes.
For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
Music sources for this episode:
Something tells me it's all happening at the zoo...
Spring is just around the corner in the northern hemisphere, so it's time to learn some animal facts! Turns out, medieval people had all sorts of strange beliefs about wildlife both real and imagined. So, join Olivia, Aran, and beloved naturalist Sir David Attenborough* as they take you to meet fruit-rustling hedgehogs, homicidal pelicans, immortal eagles, and the most tender lovers in the animal kingdom: bears.
Also discussed: the existential terror of Animorphs, CS Lewis' creative process, and which animals are Jesus.
*Not really.
Anyone who's anyone in the Middle Ages needs their own coat of arms, but it's not as simple as just throwing some snazzy shapes and cool animals on a shield and calling it a day. Join Olivia and Aran as they walk you through how to make your very own authentically (or inauthentically) medieval coat of arms, as well as a little bit of background on how and why these cool emblems became a quintessential part of medieval visual communication. Also discussed are short king representation, why leopards are bastards, and the glory of Peterhead FC.
For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
Weird Medieval Guys is back! And it's gone woke!!!!!!
We all know medieval women didn't have it so good. Endlessly discriminated against in law, demeaned in culture and ignored in the histories. So, did anyone take issue with that? Turns out, yes! This week Olivia and Aran take you through the cultural milieu that produced Christine de Pizan, the poet / political scientist / gender polemnicist who revolutionized fourteenth-century debate and was (maybe?) the world's first feminist.
Also discussed: the origins of the wage gap, the medieval Yoko Ono, and whether losers will listen to this episode before getting mad about it on the internet!
Further reading:
Joan Kelly, "Early Feminist Theory and the "Querelle des Femmes", 1400-1789" https://www.jstor.org/stable/3173479
Fiona Tolhurst, "Geoffrey and Gender: the Works of Geoffrey of Monmouth as Medieval “Feminism”", in A Companion to Geoffrey of Monmouth, eds. Georgia Henley and Joshua Byron Smith https://www.jstor.org/stable/pdf/10.1163/j.ctv2gjwzx0.20.pdf?refreqid=fastly-default%3Ab0f9ab96223431831c1834f0de4f492d&ab_segments=0%2FSYC-7052%2Fcontrol&origin=&initiator=search-results&acceptTC=1
An English translation of Christine de Pizan's Book of the City of Ladies https://www.docdroid.net/file/download/lFahHSo/the-book-of-the-city-of-ladies-by-christine-de-pizan-earl-jeffrey-richards-transl-z-liborg-pdf.pdf
The year is 1453 and the Ottomans are at the gates of the great city of Constantinople. For centuries, they have been laying siege to this city; for centuries their efforts have failed. But this time, everything is going to be different. Constantinople is going to fall.
How did history lead them there, though? And how exactly are the events of the siege going to play out? Olivia and Aran wrap up their magnificent two-part overview of Constantinople with an exploration of how the Ottoman Turks came to be the most powerful force in Anatolia and how they finally managed to claim Constantinople for themselves. Also discussed are the Wild East, Scottish things, and the simple pleasures of a flaked almond.
For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
The music used in the intro and outro of this episode is a public domain recording of the Ottoman march Ceddin Deden.
Additional music used throughout is a public domain recording of a Turkish folk song called "Girl from Kermen" https://archive.org/details/lp_songs-and-dances-of-turkey_various/disc1/01.05.+Girl+From+Kermen+(Love+Song+From+Central+Turkey).mp3
After nearly half a year adrift on the seas of medieval history, it is finally time for Olivia and Aran to wash ashore on the hospitable shores of a little town called CONSTANTINOPLE. Join us for part 1 of 2 about the great medieval megalopolis as we explore the city from its prehistoric foundation to its siege by Catholic crusaders. And be sure to stay tuned for part 2, the incredible story of the Ottoman siege! Also discussed are worm biology, the elusive water sheep, and the viking urge to inscribe rocks.
Interesting web links:
Further reading:
Richard Fidler, Ghost Empire
Judith Herrin, Byzantium: The Surprising Life of a Medieval Empire
Bettany Hughes, Istanbul: A Tale of Three Cities
The music used in this episode's intro is a public domain recording of the Greek folk song Απ' τον καημό μου πίνω (I drink because of my sorrow)
https://archive.org/details/78_title-in-greek_contributors-in-greek_gbia0033944a
Additional music clips used throughout are from that song and another Greek folk song Πειραιώτισσα (The girl from Piraeus/Piraeotissa)
https://archive.org/details/78_title-in-greek_contributors-in-greek_gbia0033944b
Weird Medieval Guys is back, and there's more audience participation than ever! In this episode, Aran and Olivia tackle a litany of listener questions on the most important medieval topics, like the conversion of the Vikings, the best names for dogs, and whether medieval life was mid and evil. Also discussed are jambalaya, the importance of simping and the gruesome fate of Mickey Mouse.
Order Weird Medieval Guys: How to Live, Laugh, Love (and Die) in Dark Times by Olivia M. Swarthout: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/455674/weird-medieval-guys-by-swarthout-olivia/9781529908305
Order merch from the Weird Medieval Guys merch shop: https://weirdmedievalguys.bigcartel.com/
Further reading:
"The names of all manner of hounds: a unique inventory in a fifteenth-century manuscript" by David Scott-Mcnab https://www.academia.edu/44222801/THE_NAMES_OF_ALL_MANNER_OF_HOUNDS_A_UNIQUE_INVENTORY_IN_A_FIFTEENTH_CENTURY_MANUSCRIPT
Ibn Fadlan's account of a Viking funeral: https://www.mrtredinnick.com/uploads/7/2/1/5/7215292/ibn_fadlan_-_account_of_a_viking_burial.pdf
Istanbul: A Tale of Three Cities by Bettany Hughes: https://www.bettanyhughes.co.uk/istanbul-a-tale-of-three-cities
Olivia's approach to episode planning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QFM8VD_Nbs
Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/74034
The Knight's Toast by Sir Walter Scott: https://www.loc.gov/item/jukebox-130606/
War Song of the Normans: https://www.loc.gov/item/jukebox-11937/
In this episode, Olivia and Aran are joined by a delightful host of guests from Weird Medieval Guys podcast episodes past as they prepare to put on the perfect medieval holiday party. Join them for a journey through medieval festive traditions that will tell you everything you need to know to do the same, from what kind of booze to bring wassailing to what creature's head should be roast and served on a plate and what kinds of entertainment you can expect. Also discussed are gay Dracula's emotional health, whether boar enjoy being stabbed, and who brings presents to Catalonian children. For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
Due to Olivia's characteristic truancy, no episode could be recorded this week. In lieu of your regular WMGPod content, please enjoy this gag reel of previously-unseen podcast content featuring Olivia, Aran, and occasionally Joe Mason. In two weeks, we will return to our usual format!
The Middle Ages gave us one of the longest-lasting institutions of education: the university. And where there are universities, there are sure to be students sowing chaos and destruction. Olivia and Aran are joined by a special guest, Joe Mason, as they explore the medieval origins of universities and take a look at the lives and activities of those who studied at them. Also discussed are the dangers of tennis, the risks of kidnapping a bishop, and wrong way to behave in a tavern.
For more information about some of what we discuss, check out:
The Weird Medieval Guys book is now out!!! Head to linktr.ee/weirdmedievalguys to pick up a copy!
Florence and its residents appear in late medieval popular culture across Europe, particularly in jokes at their expense. So why was everyone so obsessed with Florence? In this episode, Olivia and Aran take a look at how this Tuscan city grew to become a thriving centre of arts, banking, and trade by the 15th century, its resulting notoriety, and the conflicts that ensued between its different factions. Also discussed are Olivia's Italian heritage, why Master Splinter is a communist, and the Underwear Revolution.
For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
In this special Halloween episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, Olivia and Aran take a look at the confluence of fact, fable and fear that created the medieval vampire myth. We then explore how that myth developed into the modern image of vampires that most people think of today, most notably how the titular character of Bram Stoker's novel Dracula came to be. Also discussed are why Dracula is better in the original Spanish, Aran's suspicious new roommate from Transylvania, and recipes for Blood.
For more on some of what we discuss, check out:
Jesters. They're just funny little guys with bells who hang around their medieval king and make wisecracks, right? As it turns out, there's actually a bit more to it. Olivia and Aran trace the origins and development of jesters, minstrels, fools, and other entertainers in the wider context of humour in the Middle Ages. Along the way, we meet some of medieval europe's weirdest guys and crack plenty of authentically medieval jokes! Also discussed are Critical Clown Studies, historical oppression of drummers, and the most single Welshman ever.For more information about some of what we discuss, check out:
E.K. Chambers' The Mediaeval Stage (1903), in particular chapter 3: "The Minstrel Life"
Fooling Around the World: The History of the Jester
More about Stanczyk the jester and Jan Matejko's famous painting of him
In the medieval world, divorce was illegal and marriage was forever. In most cases, at least. Olivia and Aran take on. the most pressing question of all, then: how can you leave your wife anyways? Starting in 8th century Wales and ending with post-medieval large boy Henry VIII, this is a casual jaunt through marital love and hatred in the Middle Ages. Also discussed are the goose in the room, the heat-resistant properties inherent to men, and the legislative virtues of theatre kids. For more information about some of what we discuss, check out:
Olivia and Aran tackle the much-maligned subject of medieval historical artwork, seeking to understand and explain why medieval artists depicted historical figures such as Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great as looking very......medieval. Also discussed are Sharknado, Sharknado 2: The Second One, and subsequent installations in the Sharknado franchise.
Olivia and Aran take on their greatest challenge to date: two bags of doritos. We attempt to answer with as much rigour as possible the question of whether a medieval peasant would be knocked dead by a taste of the delightful snack. Then, we explore why medieval people loved spices so much that they took over half the world looking for them. Also discussed are the secrets to good soup, the ports and gals of Portugal, and where Italians go when they die. For more information about what we cover, check out:
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/23700/23700-h/23700-h.htm
http://medieval.ucdavis.edu/120D/Money.html
https://www.medievalists.net/2016/01/using-salt-in-the-middle-ages/
https://www.jstor.org/stable/40110784
https://jpnet.ca/data/viandier/viandier1.html
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Aran and Olivia cover one of the most iconic parts of medieval warfare: the siege. Learn more about the wacky weapons and machines that were used in medieval sieges plus the even wackier people who invented them.
Also discussed are giant eggs, wizards, and unbeatable strategies for rock paper scissors.
For more information about some of what we cover, check out:
https://www.camrea.org/2017/09/11/orban-the-man-who-brought-down-the-walls-of-constantinople-part-i/
https://www.loc.gov/item/2021668178/
https://www.jstor.org/stable/48578613
https://www.medievalists.net/2021/09/everyday-magic-middle-ages/
Olivia and Aran explore three guys from the Middle Ages who gained fame, power and notoriety through their wives. At a time when husbands were expected to exercise complete control over their spouses, these men's stories are inextricably linked with their affection and respect for their wives. Also discussed are the true nature of Parisians, how Grimace came to be, and historical parallels with the Joker and Harley Quinn.For more information about some of what we cover, check out:
A rundown of the "wife guy" phenomenon
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/wife-guys
An English translation of the full text of Procopius' Secret History, especially Chapter IX onwards for more about Theodora and her relationship with Justinian
https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/12916/pg12916.html
A detailed discussion of the mosaics of Justinian and Theodora in Ravenna
https://brewminate.com/byzantine-art-as-propaganda-justinian-and-theodora-at-ravenna/
The letters of Héloïse and Abelard
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/35977/35977-h/35977-h.htm
A discussion of Héloïse's influence on Abelard's philosophy
https://www.jstor.org/stable/41963758
The Wife of Bath's Tale translated into modern English
https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/English/CanterburyTalesVI.php
A couple articles on gendered power dynamics in The Wife of Bath's Tale
https://www.jstor.org/stable/41925333https://www.jstor.org/stable/25093919Remember, you can read 100 JSTOR articles for free each month if you sign up for an account! (no payment needed!)Follow us on Twitter!Weird Medieval Guys @WeirdMedievalOlivia @olivia__msAran @aranptappers
Olivia and Aran take on five common modern-day misconceptions about the Middle Ages and dig into what makes them so prevalent. These myths are, in order:
The medieval world wasn't colourful (0:45)
Most people in the Middle Ages were illiterate
Medieval knights followed a strict chivalric code
Medieval communities were largely homogeneous
Medieval peasants worked less than modern people
Also discussed are appropriate names for baby boys, the Breaking Bad "Mexico" filter, and the beneficial relationship between good eyesight and firearm ownership.For more information about some of what we cover:
A medieval castle restored to its original pink colour https://roaringwaterjournal.com/tag/lime-render-on-medieval-castles/
The Medievalists.net podcast on literacy and education https://www.medievalists.net/2019/09/education-in-the-middle-ages/
French Chivalry by Sidney Painter https://muse.jhu.edu/book/72155
Graves in medieval London https://www.medievalists.net/2019/09/black-death-burials-reveal-the-diversity-of-londons-medieval-population/
Richard Clark on medieval labour https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ehr.12528
Nora Kenyon on medieval labour https://www.jstor.org/stable/2589850
Follow us on Twitter!Weird Medieval Guys @WeirdMedievalOlivia @olivia__msAran @aranptappers
In this inaugural episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, Olivia and Aran discuss why medieval art is so intriguing to modern viewers and what makes so much of it so weird. Also discussed are Galaxy Quest, Mel Gibson's crimes against the Middle Ages, and the future historic legacy of explicit images of Garfield the cat.
For more information about some of what we cover:
Follow us on Twitter!
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