We RAD DADS

Latest Episodes:

EP19 - Being Dadly with Hogan Hilling May 23, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

Please welcome Hogan Hilling to the We RAD DADS podcast! Hogan has seen some hard times and weathered many storms as a dad. One might think this would have made him gruff, harsh and negative however Hogan has used his experiences to enlighten others on how dads can be extremely valuable parental figures. He has personally challenged the common paradigm that dads can't parent. Not only has Hogan been a stay-at home dad care taking his three children, one of which a child with special needs; he has endured a bitter and insulting divorce that left him at the mercy of the judicial system slanted toward one particular gender. Through all of this Hogan has remained calm and collected, consistently putting first what matters most.

Hogan is the creator of the Dadly Rally and is a champion for dad's equality in parenting. True to his character, Hogan does not discriminate against any parent due to gender and welcomes involved women parents into the Dadly cause as well. He is a true example for each of us to follow!

Listen to our conversation as we discuss Hogan's winding path through life involving rediscovering his own dad as an adult and what he learned when they connected. This point alone shaped my perception of what it is to be an absent father... Sometimes the opportunity to be dad is taken away unjustly.

Show Notes:

6:29 - "I came out of the pantry"

11:01 - Follow your heart but use your head

17:47 - Stop the "dadsanity", do it for the kids

20:51 - The simple joy of play

23:16 - Henk (link)

28:56 - Behaving Dadly

31:11 - Breaking the cycle

32:32 - Get comfortable being uncomfortable

34:29 - Living in the moment daddy

35:49 - The best things in life are free

40:08 - Looking at fatherhood through a child's eyes

42:28 - Don't beat yourself up. Reach out

Contact Hogan and connect with the Dadly Rally with the following links:

https://twitter.com/TheDadGuru

https://twitter.com/dadlyrally

https://www.facebook.com/dadlyrally/?fref=ts

http://www.dadlyrally.com

Don't forget to try Audible.com. Get a FREE book with your FREE for 30 trial. What's better than FREE knowledge?

Reach out and connect, Join our Facebook Group! Keep fighting the good fight. Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS! CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

EP18 - Recognition & Improvement May 19, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

Let's face the facts here, sometimes life is about attempting not to fail. Occasionally, we can't let go of "learning moments" wherein we did a less-than optimal job.

Personally, I think this is a mark of someone who is constantly holding themselves to a higher standard. This is a fantastic trait but people like me can take that desire for perfection a little too far. That in itself tends to drag me down. Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy.

"Everything in moderation, including moderation." -Julia Childs

Keep doing the best you can and keep improving along the way. Recognize and accept your losses as learning moments and set yourself free of the guilt associated with it.

Process your situation and move forward. It's the only way to maintain your sanity and continually be the best you can. You're only human you know.

Don't forget to try Audible.com. Get a FREE book with your FREE for 30 trial. What's better than FREE knowledge?

Reach out and connect, Join our Facebook Group! Keep fighting the good fight. Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

EP17 - Inner strength with Dr. Laura Markham May 16, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

Not only does We RAD DADS have our first female guest, but she is also our first professional guest as well. We have for you this week none other than THE Dr. Laura Markham.

Join Dr. Markham and myself as we discuss her upbringings and how her blended family dynamics shaped her into one of the leading experts in Clinical Psychology. Her relatable story and early experiences are directly applicable to any single parent situation.

I was surprised to learn that the role model behind her successful principles is entirely attributed to her very own RAD DAD. Without her father's compassion which; in her words: "saved my life", she would not have discovered her full potential. Listen as Dr. Markham describes how her father was the one who showed her what loving guidance was all about.

Dads, you CAN and DO make a difference!

It was a true pleasure to speak with her. I can't say enough about my conversation with Dr. Markham and all the incredible nuggets she shares. On top of this, listen as we discuss one of her books and the powerful tools and tactics it details. I was very surprised to find extreme value in her book, Peaceful parent, happy kids. I HIGHLY recommend this book for ALL parents, especially RAD DADS. This would be an EXCELLENT FREE book from audible.com. When you click the link you get a FREE book AND a FREE 30 day trial of audible.com. What are you waiting for?

Who is Dr. Markham you ask?

Dr. Laura Markham trained as a Clinical Psychologist, earning her Ph.D. from Columbia University. But she's also a mom, so she translates proven science into the practical solutions you need for the family life you want.

Dr. Laura is the author of the books Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings:How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life.

The founding editor of AhaParenting.com, Dr. Laura also serves as a parenting expert for Mothering.com, Psychology Today, The Natural Parent Magazine, Pregnancy.org, Girlie Girl Army, SheKnows.com, and several other websites. She makes frequent TV and radio appearances and has been interviewed for hundreds of articles by publications as diverse as The Wall Street Journal, Real Simple, Newsday, Men's Health, Redbook and Parents Magazine.

Dr. Laura's relationship-based parenting model has helped thousands of families across the U.S. and Canada find compassionate, common-sense solutions to everything from separation anxiety and sleep problems to sass talk and cell phones. She lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her husband and two terrific kids -- now 21 and 25!

Show notes:

6:35 - Parenting Changed my paradigm.

8:39 - Clinical Psychologist

10:18 - What I was born to do. Virginia Axline. "Dibs in search of self" 13:24 - Kids in adult bodies - Not just a parenting book.

15:59 - Deal with your own stuff

18:25 - Go as slow as you need and as fast as you can

22:41 - Grappling with emotions

23:41 - "That's not me"- Hijacked by emotions

26:35 - Noticing emotional biases

28:59 - Dr. Laura's advice for single parents from first-hand experience

33:25 - Any parent can do this

34:08 - My dad saved my life

37:10 - Transformative pain creates inner strength 38:47 - Rewiring of the brain

41:25 - Age appropriateness

44:20 - Dare not to discipline

52:06 - What is "loving guidance"

53:55 - Limits, Empathize, Coach

57:40 - Parenting is 90% connection 1:01:21 - Can this work for parents of older kids?

You can reach Dr. Markham at the following links:

www.ahaparenting.com

AhaParenting Facebook page

Peaceful parent, happy kids

Peaceful parent, happy siblings

Don't forget to try Audible.com. Get a FREE book with your FREE for 30 trial. What's better than FREE knowledge?

Reach out and connect, Join our Facebook Group! Keep fighting the good fight. Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

EP16 - What makes a Man? May 12, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better" -Maya Angelou

Well, let's just say that it was shaping up to be a great day. My son was super happy and outgoing. We went to Costco to make a return and grab some items. Now I'm certain thatCostco is a wonderland for small children however for adults with those small children we sometimes loose our sense of wonder when trying to get things done.

No spoilers here however I did meet with a very poignant moment and had to think quickly. Perception can be either an ally or an enemy. Although I would love to have reacted a certain way I chose to instead to respond according to my own ethos.

At the end of the day you are accountable to your own choices and actions. Many people do not consider this but I believe that the single parent community is VERY conscious about this - for many reasons.

We are often scrutinized for the smallest possible infraction that we ourselves begin to question how others will see us. Sadly, this is a reality when it comes to being judged.... literally. That's exactly what many single parents have to worry about. Whether a judge will deem you capable of being a part of your child's life based on your responses and reactions. This doesn't make walking "the path" any easier.

I feel for you all and would like to share with you an occurrence that happened to me recently. I'll share with you my thoughts and feelings that go along with it. I would hope that in doing this you can feel comfortable with your own feelings and responses given a similar circumstance.

What would you have done differently?

Tell me at: walter@weraddads.com

Don't forget to try Audible.com. Get a FREE book with your FREE for 30 trial. What's better than FREE knowledge?

Reach out and connect, Join our Facebook Group!

Keep fighting the good fight.

Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

EP15 - Getting back to YOU with Eddie Aguilar May 09, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

Eddie is the proud father of 2 young adults and continues to put them first in his life. Eddie carved a career out of wildland firefighting as a Hotshot supervisor and found a true passion for the industry. As often happens, we tend to sacrifice these things in our lives for those we care about most.

Before long Eddie found himself behind the kiosk selling cell phones and wondering if that was all life had in store for him. Unhappy and unfulfilled already Eddie's marriage was not living up to expectations, and despite his best efforts was being dragged downward by negative reinforcement at home. In a paramount moment, Eddie found himself moments from ending the pain but his strength found footing as chose not to find the "easy way out".

Never the quitter, Eddie finally broke free of his anchors. After his divorce, he moved back to his comfort zone and immediately regained his sense of place. Luckily during this process he was able to retain a physical presence with his children as they moved from Chicago, Il. to Flagstaff, Az. Proven to be an unsinkable spirit he is now chasing his passions in life and spreading a message of hope and help to others.

Come listen to my interview with Eddie Aguilar as he tells his story and experiences as he dishes out heaps of helpful advice.

Show Notes:

5:40 - Get to know Eddie Aguilar

9:04 - El Boz

10:14 - Major Payne

11:57 - The secret of the broken arm

13:24 - Chick flicks dude!

15:44 - It's all in the head

17:36 - Worthless to worth

21:52 - Live your words

24:03 - Bomb: Rem. 870 Wingmaster

30:59 - Back in my element

34:08 - Too poor to be a drunk

35:35 - You can't save everybody

40:40 - Left Behind

45:19 - Find what makes you happy

48:41 - Favorite age

50:07 - Best parenting skill

51:41 - Can't treat 2 kids the same52:45 - A licence to act goofy

54:40 - Lifelong learning

56:10 - Rocky

58:59 - Veterans

1:02:15 - Contact Eddie Aguilar

Eddie@mindsetmtn.com

Eddie's Facebook

Eddie on Instagram

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes Reach out and connect, Join our Facebook Group! Keep fighting the good fight. Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

EP14 - Unexpected Thank You May 05, 2016

Show notes

I'm sure this episode isn't what you expected... neither did I. I'm of two minds in publishing it however, I believe in the power of integrity and character. I referenced this in the show manifesto (Episode 000) and owe this to both you and myself. So here goes....

Sink or swim I feel better talking about it, if only with myself.

Please let me know what you think at: walter@weraddads.com

EP13 - Fit to be dad with Steve Roy May 02, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

Fitness isn't just physical with Steve Roy.

Steve Roy (aka singledadfitdad) is a shining example of renewal after “downfall”. Steve is making men’s lives better every day with his personal mission to help others using his own relevant experiences.

Like many of my guests Steve “had it all”. The job, the house and the family, everything that we’ve been told to want. His life exploded one day after a period of struggle when he was asked to leave the home and family he sacrificed to build. An overwhelming sense of loss ensued as he transitioned back into simply surviving. Finding himself alone with nothing but time to reflect, he stopped caring for himself. Like so many, Steve KNOWINGLY succumb to terrible habits and fell deeper into the bomb crater.

Blaming others and shirking responsibility Steve had a chance encounter with a friend who called him on his selfish thinking. This blunt interaction immediately led to an A-Ha moment which immediately led to active changes- starting with a grueling 7-minute run.

The irony here is that Steve makes a living as a fitness instructor, yet was not leading by example. Once this epiphany was made there was no stopping him.

Steve unleashed the person within and began singledadfitdad.com. His physical and mental metamorphosis was immediate and noticeable within a month

This result is a direct result of finding true purpose and aligning it with your true self. His words of wisdom and stories resonate on many levels with us all. Come be inspired to re-create yourself by harvesting only the best in your life and moving forward from where you are to EXACTLY where you want to be. Let’s take those steps together!

Come and join us for the full story the up’s and downs of becoming singledadfitdad.com.

3:32 - Get to know Steve Roy

6:38 - No longer single, fit dad.

7:59 - Parental equality

9:00 - Video games, Hero's quest

11:20 - "Kick his ass Seabass!"

11:56 - Confusion and anger met with a mother's tireless love.

14:28 - You can be a man AND have emotions

17:09 - Can't control other people

20:25 - Bomb: Asked to leave the life he created23:28 - Not so blindsided

24:12 - Why is daddy never smiling?

26:55 - Brutal truth and change

30:47 - "Get busy living or get busy dying"

32:06 - Live for you33:35 - Finding a new way to live

35:32 - Gary Vanerchuck

36:35 - How many men can I help?

40:18 - Self sufficiency

40:30 - Patience

43:30 - Yosemite

45:39 - Honest and open communication

44:13 - DIC-tator parents

46:45 - Correlation between learning and living

47:19 - What can YOU give?

49:22 - Take care of yourself first

55:46 - Connect with Steve48:11 - Find happiness within

steve@singledadfitdad.com

www.Singledadfitdad.com

www.facebook.com/singledadfitdad/

www.instagram.com/singlefitdad

Twitter: @singlefitdad.

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes Reach out and connect, Join our Facebook Group! Keep fighting the good fight. Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

EP12 - Greek Wisdom with Heraclitus Apr 28, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

"The only constant in life is change"

What does a Greek philosopher, a Renaissance Physicist and a 19th Century German philosopher have in common? You're about to find out in today's Micro-sode.

[picture: The Legacy and Wisdom of Heraclitus (and friends)]

Heraclitus draws together many of the principles I discuss here on We RAD DADS. I had always heard the above mentioned quote but didn't know where it's origin truly was. Come to find out, It was from a Greek philosopher I had not heard of named Heraclitus.

"The Riddler"

The more I dug into Heraclitus and his work, the more interested I became. I was shocked to learn that he was much more than a one hit wonder (with regard to quotes). Heraclitus, was known for shrouding his theories in obscurity. Due to this he was known as "The riddler", "The dark" or "The obscure". This was an intentional choice because Heraclitus wanted people to put in the work in order to get any benefit. He understood the proposition of value in that; anything worth having is worth working for. I completely agree with that notion, I hope you do as well.

Heraclitus saw that most people are just "ignorant conformists". Going along with the crowd in order to not stick out It's much easier to just follow along with the crowd, much like a flock of sheep.

"War is the father of all"

The Flux Doctrine:

The flux doctrine consists of three parts. The first of which is: "Everything is in flux". Heraclitus reasoned (accurately) that everything is constantly changing. And even the most resilient object is being changed from one moment to the next.

Second to this doctrine is: "A man's soul is fire- hot and dry". I know we have all experienced this. When you are consumed by a passion whatever it may be you literally feel hot from within. When you are in the zone one can say that you are "on fire". I'm sure you see what I'm getting at here.

Conversely, Heraclitus reasoned that: "A wet soul is worst". Comparing a wet soul to a drunken man who stumbles about. This is an interesting theory and a concept that I think I must mention at this point. The topic of alcohol consumption as a coping mechanism often comes up when talking to guests. Please ensure that you utilize due judgement when consuming anything during times of severe emotional stress.

Third and finally Heraclitus reasoned that "war is the father of all". The context of "war" is that of two opposing forces or ideas. This idea is further developed by Renaissance physicist Sir Issac Newton's 3rd law: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Heraclitus utilized a strung bow to illustrate this point. The string and the bow are only useful together. When assembled, they appear at rest and stationary however we know the forces and resistance are present. These forces are not visible however they produce a yin-yang effect, where one relies upon the other in order to be complete.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche recognized the importance of Heraclitus' reasoning. The German philosopher understood that a great individual is constantly in conflict between the "good" and "bad" attributes within. He went on to reason that peace is only developed by the balancing of these forces NOT the removal of the "bad".

We got a little deep this week and I hope I haven't lost you. I wanted to bend your mind a little and keep you sharp. Sometimes it pays dividends to pontificate life's great questions.

Please let me know how you feel about this episode. Was it too deep or confusing? or do you like a challenge. If I were a betting man, I'd say the latter.

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes Reach out and connect, Join our Facebook Group! Keep fighting the good fight. Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

EP11 - Being a purposeful Dad with Larry Hagner Apr 25, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

After his bomb Larry immediately set out to change himself and in so doing, began to help and change others. Larry is the founder of The Good Dad Project, a published author, and a skilled speaker. Through his quest to simply become a better father, he hastouched the lives of thousands.

Larry is a fantastic example of what all RAD DADS should strive to become. His strategies for remaining manly and confident whilst practicing humility blends the best and most important skills that being a dad should entail.

Larry is a married father of 4 boys and has leveraged his learning moments in order to build a life and a legacy we all should strive for. Larry speaks about being intentional and becoming the strong patriarch our families need.

Please join us for an interview that will lead you to some important questions which will help you along your journey. Positive changes start here!

2:51 - Get to know Larry Hagner

7:17 - Michael Jackson’s jacket

10:04 - Get to know http://sealfit.com

12:59 - Respond don’t react and own your mistakes

17:14 - What kind of father ARE you?

19:10 - New routine. Be there

22:36 - Dad at arm’s length

24:30 - “You’re just not showing up.”

25:08 - Rock bottom: Rebirth

28:45 - Pivot and shift accordingly

30:56 - Bounce back and take relief in action.

32:35 - I didn’t have a leg to stand on

34:35 - Dads with purpose, on purpose (How do you pronounce Meme?)

36:58 - The Dad’s Edge

41:24 - Reach out without judgement

42:31 - You are NOT alone

47:59 - Favorite age for kids. “Tumultous-ness”

50:02 - Super power - Play

51:53 - Distraction and asking for help

53:00 - Kitchen safe XL

53:26 - Parent fears

58:02 - Confidence and humility

1:00:49 - PSA

1:02:37 - Gateway MS in St. Louis. http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Chapters/MOS.

Gateway MS Twitter

Contact Larry Hagner:

www.thegooddadproject.com

Dad’s Edge Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/862377280526790/

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes Join our Facebook Group! Keep fighting the good fight. Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

EP10 - Leeroy Jenkins! Apr 21, 2016

Show notes

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes

Teamwork and planning is essential but sometimes you have more challenges than you've accounted for.

Understand when" it's just a game" convey this to your family with your actions. Trust me they're watching and learning. Learn what you can, understand as best you can, crunch the numbers even but eventually you'll have to jump in and take action. There are moments where lack of success is necessary to progress through life. Lack of success is sometimes exactly what you need. Fail forward.

Become comfortable with any unknown as best you can however, just know that as time passes so do your options. Now may be the best opportunity you'll have. Take decisive action and give it your all.

"I never loose. I either win or learn." - Nelson Mandella

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected