We Hate Movies

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S5 Ep169: The Substitute Sep 09, 2014

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On the season premiere of We Hate Movies, the gang heads back to school with Tom Berenger and Marc Anthony in The Substitute! Why does this movie spend so much time on the botched Cuba mission? Why did Berenger's resume need to be that padded? And what on Earth is up with that bathing suit? PLUS: I'mgonnakillherI'mgonnakillherI'mgonnakillher!
The Substitute stars Tom Berenger, Ernie Hudson, Raymond Cruz, William Forsythe, Luis Guzmán and Diane Venora; directed by Robert Mandel.
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S4: WHM Summer Rerun - Ewoks: the Battle for Endor Sep 02, 2014

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Original Air Date: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
On the final WHM Summer Rerun of 2014, the guys look back at one of the all-time fan favorite episodes on Ewoks: The Battle for Endor! This show marks the first appearance of Wilford Brimley on WHM and is the second of three times the guys have ventured into the Star Wars universe. Brimley hates that rabbit. The rabbit hates Brimley. The guys don't entirely hate the movie.
Ewoks: The Battle for Endor stars Wilford Brimley, Warwick Davis, Aubree Miller, Siân Phillips, Carel Struycken and Paul Gleason; directed by Jim & Ken Wheat.
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S4: WHM Summer Rerun: Rocky IV Aug 26, 2014

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On this WHM Summer Rerun, the gang looks back at the time they got in the ring with Rocky IV! Everyone agrees that Paulie is Cinema's Greatest Loser. Rocky is out of control arrogant in this movie. And the stones on Stallone to have his titular pugilist essentially end the Cold War by giving a sappy end-of-match speech!
Rocky IV stars Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Burt Young, Tony Burton, Brigitte Nielsen; directed by Sylvester Stallone.
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S4: WHM Summer Rewind: Tuff Turf Aug 12, 2014

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Original Air Date: 2/12/13
On this WHM Summer Rerun, the gang reminisces about one of their absolute favorite films from the WHM catalog, Tuff Turf! Steve wonders how James Spader's possible Back to the Future audition went. Andrew impersonates Jim Carroll delivering dialog on heroin. And Chris butchers up the "80s Teen Dramedy" cow. PLUS: Two words - Jack. Mack.
Tuff Turf stars James Spader, Kim Richards, Paul Mones, Robert Downey Jr., Matt Clark, Jim Carroll and Jack Mack & the Heart Attack; directed by Fritz Kiersch.
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S4: WHM Summer Rerun: Invisible Child Aug 05, 2014

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Original Air Date: 9/4/12
On the first WHM Summer Rerun, the gang looks back at the batshit classic, Invisible Child! Andrew explains how he'd handle someone thinking they had an invisible child, Steve rags on the secret society of English nannies and Eric guesses why Victor Garber would make a whole pizza in the middle of the night. His theory? To curb horny behavior! Fan Favorite Line: "I mean, you're in a hot tub, baby, you're either getting physical therapy or you're fucking!"
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S4 Ep168: TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze Jul 29, 2014

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On the WHM Summer Finale, the #SBE2014 comes to an end when the gang chats about the incredibly annoying and sadly family friendly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze! Why didn't they put Bebop and Rocksteady in this movie? Is Splinter chasing the dragon through this whole thing? And what is with no one at the Vanilla Ice warehouse concert being terrified by a group of fighting monsters? PLUS: They're BABIES!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze stars Paige Turco, David Warner, Ernie Reyes Jr., François Chau and Kevin Nash; directed by Michael Pressman.
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S4 Ep167: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory Jul 22, 2014

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On this week's episode, the gang rides the rails with Steven Seagal and Eric Bogosian in the train hijacking sequel, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory! Why do we need Seagal microwaving a cake? Did Bogosian have to do that Rod Serling impression? And is Seagal really getting foiled by a Newton and a clogged fax line? PLUS: We all better go talk to the Captain.
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory stars Steven Seagal, Eric Bogosian, Everett McGill, Morris Chestnut, Peter Greene and Katherine Heigl; directed by Geoff Murphy.
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S4: WHM Mailbag: Nude-alities, Elderly Flashers and Hell Mouths Jul 17, 2014

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In the July Mailbag, Andrew, Eric and Chris talk about naked old fellas, Charles Manson, bad celebrity impressions and more!
Have something for the Mailbag? Get at us to be featured in the August episode! Write the WHM Mailbag today: weallhatemovies@gmail.com!
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S4 Ep166: The Day After Tomorrow Jul 15, 2014

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In this week's episode, the gang bundles up with the ultra boring disaster dud, The Day After Tomorrow! How 'bout those CGI wolves, huh? Why did they think hiding in a library would be exciting? And just how useless is Sela Ward in this movie? PLUS: This Fall, Louie Anderson returns to a lot of NBC.
The Day After Tomorrow stars Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Sela Ward, Dash Mihok, Jay O. Sanders and Ian Holm; directed by Roland Emmerich.
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S4 Ep165: Planet of the Apes (2001) Jul 08, 2014

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In this week's episode, the gang enters the back half of their Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza with Tim Burton's depressingly terrible Planet of the Apes! Why not hire anybody besides Mark Wahlberg? Why are we still sending chimps into space in 2029? And what kind of a trampoline budget were they working with here? PLUS: Twilight Zone's greatest "secret robot" scenarios.
Planet of the Apes stars Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Clarke Duncan, Paul Giamatti, Estella Warren, Kris Kristofferson and Charlton Heston; directed by Tim Burton.
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