Was I in a Cult?

Latest Episodes:

The Holdeman Mennonite Cult: "The Truth Behind the 'Humble' People" Jul 17, 2025

Show notes

Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of sexual abuse.

You've seen them — maybe at the airport with pamphlets, or quietly shopping at a farmer's market. Dressed in starched shirts, tie-back bonnets, pressed skirts. Singing in gentle harmonies. Smiling softly. The Holdeman Mennonites, they'll tell you, are just humble people of faith.

Quiet.

Nonviolent.

Pure.

But purity can be a costume. And obedience, a weapon.

Today's guest, Billy Holdeman-Bass grew up in that world.

And there were things that didn't get sung about.

Doors that stayed locked.

And a question his mother never answered: "Why do you always follow me to the bathroom?"

Behind the hymnals and homemade apple pies lies a truth that can't stay buried forever. In this episode, that truth begins to speak.

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The Cult of Emmanuel David Pt2: "The Cult's Second Coming" Jul 08, 2025

Show notes

Content Warning: This episode contains references to sexual abuse, coercion, and emotional trauma.

Last week, we met Zipporah—a woman who spent 44 years inside a Utah cult so small and obscure, most people never even knew it existed. That is, until 1978, when a horrific tragedy made national headlines.

The cult was led by Emmanuel David, a self-declared prophet who eventually proclaimed himself God. After his suicide, his wife—his most devoted follower—carried out an unspeakable murder-suicide that took the lives of their children.

All but one.

Their daughter Rachel survived—and in many ways, because she did, so did the cult. It should've died with its leader. But for a small group of devoted followers, it didn't.

Zipporah was one of them.

This is Part 2 of her story… how the cult kept its grasp on her for the next 40 years until she finally was able to break free.

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Instagram & TikTok: @wasiinacult

Support the Show:

This show is listener-powered. If Zipporah's story moved you—please rate, review, and share.

Thank you to our Patreon members!! We appreciate you. And if you would like ad-free episodes and exclusive content, consider joining our Patreon.

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Have a cultic experience of your own? We want to hear it.

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The Cult of Emmanuel David Pt1: "Life After Death" Jul 02, 2025

Show notes

In August of 1978, one of the darkest chapters in Utah's history unfolded. A man claiming to be God became the catalyst for a tragedy that left a city shaken and a family shattered. Emmanuel David—born Charles Bruce Longo—founded a small but insidious cult rooted in offshoot Mormon beliefs, prophetic delusions, and total control.

Despite the mass suicide—or murder-suicide, depending on who you ask—the cult didn't die with its leader. The remaining believers held on. They kept the doctrine alive. And for decades, they waited for their God to return.

Today's guest is one of the few who remained.

This is Part 1 of her story.

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Instagram & TikTok: @wasiinacult

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The Lost Children of Scientology Pt2: "Free At Last" Jun 23, 2025

Show notes

(Content warning: child abuse, psychological trauma, and forced labor.)

What happens when a child escapes a cult… only to be hunted, harassed, and invoiced for the "honor"?

In Part 2 of Jamie Mustard's staggering story, we pick up with his teenage years— going deeper into the reality of life inside Scientology's Sea Org—the labor, the fear, the indoctrination, and the slow, devastating unraveling of family.

But this is more than a story of survival. It's about a boy who was stripped of education, family, and identity… and still found a way to outsmart the system that tried to erase him. It's about rewriting your future when you were never taught how to read the past. It's about the children who were trained to never speak out—and the rare few who do.

An unforgettable chapter in one of the most important cult stories we've ever told.

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Come See Us LIVE!

Join us in Los Angeles on July 10th at Dynasty Typewriter for our first-ever Was I In A Cult? live show—featuring special guest Moses Storm! GET YOUR TICKET HERE!

Pre-Order Jamie's Book:

Jamie Mustard's powerful memoir Child X drops July 30th. Pre-order now and support his story of survival, resistance, and hard-won freedom.

Instagram & TikTok: @wasiinacult

Share Your Story:

Have a cultic experience of your own? We want to hear it.

Email us at info@wasiinacult.com

The Lost Children of Scientology Pt 1: "Born Into Cult Slavery" Jun 16, 2025

Show notes

What happens when a newborn is handed—by his own mother—into the arms of a cult?

On today's episode of Was I In A Cult?, we peel back the celebrity sheen and expose the shadowy depths of one of the world's most controversial organizations: Scientology.

But this time, it's not about celebrities—it's about the kids.

Jamie Mustard was born into Scientology's inner sanctum, the Sea Org. Raised without parents, he spent his childhood in filth-ridden tenements, watched over by untrained and often abusive caretakers, and wrote heartbreaking letters to L. Ron Hubbard begging to see his mom again.

This isn't the Scientology you've heard about. And this is just the beginning. Part one of a rare survival story—of someone who didn't just escape, but managed to build an aweinspiring life far beyond the trauma.

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Come See Us LIVE!

Join us in Los Angeles on July 10th at Dynasty Typewriter for our first-ever Was I In A Cult? live show—featuring special guest Moses Storm! GET YOUR TICKET HERE!

Pre-Order Jamie's Book:

Jamie Mustard's powerful memoir Child X drops July 30th. Pre-order now and support his story of survival, resistance, and hard-won freedom.

Instagram & TikTok: @wasiinacult

Support the Show:

This show is listener-powered. If Jamie's story moved you—please rate, review, and share.

Want ad-free episodes + bonus content? Join our Patreon!

Share Your Story:

Have a cultic experience of your own? We want to hear it.

Email us at info@wasiinacult.com

WISE (aka Scientology): "Stop Interbulating Me!" [RE-RELEASE] Jun 02, 2025

Show notes

**This episode originally aired in May 2023**

Fresh to the workforce, Amber answered a job posting for a dental assitant: "No experience needed!" Looking for something reliable to support her new life as a single mother, she was thrilled when she got hired. Little did she know, her new job would be more than just dental work…

Instagram & TikTok: @wasiinacult

Support the Show:

Was I In A Cult? is listener-powered. If the show has moved you, made you laugh, or made you question your group chat - please rate, review, and share.

Want ad-free episodes + bonus content? Join our Patreon!

Share Your Story:

Have a cultic experience to share? We're listening.

Email us at info@wasiinacult.com

Apocalyptic Nuclear Bunker Cult PT2: "Let the Bombs Descend" May 26, 2025

Show notes

When your mother is a self-proclaimed prophet claiming to channel the ascended master that is your deceased father as she prepares hundreds of followers for the end of the world, mother/son time isn't baking cookies - it's begging her not to summon nuclear holy fire so you can maybe live another day.

In Part 2 of Sean Prophet's quite literally unbelievable story, we enter the "end times" phase of CUT (Church Universal and Triumphant) - a group that, at its peak, had thousands of members, global spiritual centers, and over $50 million in real estate. We've got multi-million dollar underground bunkers, military-grade weapons, mass doomsday drills, and a mother decreeing her way out of a failed apocalypse that - spoiler - never came.

Sean walks us through the harrowing logistics of leading hundreds of followers into bomb shelters, his mother's unshakable belief in prophecy, and the moment he finally walked away - for good.

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Sean's new memoir, My Cult, Your Cult, is out now. Order here.

Instagram & TikTok: @wasiinacult

Support the Show:

Was I In A Cult? is listener-powered. If the show has moved you, made you laugh, or made you question your group chat - please rate, review, and share.

Want ad-free episodes + bonus content? Join our Patreon!

Share Your Story:

Have a cultic experience to share? We're listening.

Email us at info@wasiinacult.com

Introducing: Clues with Morgan Absher & Kaelyn Moore May 20, 2025

Show notes

Join hosts Morgan Absher and Kaelyn Moore as they take you deep into the world of the most notorious crimes ever — where a single clue can crack a case wide open.

From shocking murders to serial killers, Clues dives into all the forensic details and brilliant sleuthing of the world's most infamous cases. CLUES is a Crime House Original, powered by PAVE Studios. Follow and listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

Apocalyptic Nuclear Bunker Cult PT1: "My Parents Started a Cult" May 19, 2025

Show notes

He didn't just join a cult. He was born a "prince" in one.

In this two-part mind-bender, we welcome Sean Prophet, son of Mark Prophet and Elizabeth Clare Prophet—founders of the Church Universal and Triumphant (aka CUT). At its height, this doomsday spiritual empire commanded tens of millions in real estate, a global following, and enough freeze-dried food and ammo to survive a nuclear winter.

In Part 1, Sean takes us from his early days living in a 17,000-square-foot mansion filled with unpaid devotees, to being groomed as the next "Messenger" of God…

…until a $1.5 million lawsuit shifted everything.

Instagram & TikTok: @wasiinacult

Sean's new memoir, My Cult, Your Cult, is out now. Order here.

Support the Show:

If Was I In A Cult? has impacted you, moved you, or made you laugh-uncomfortably-in-public, please rate & review—it helps new listeners find us.

Want ad-free episodes + bonus content? Join our Patreon!

Share Your Story:

Have a cultic experience you want to share on the show?

Email us at info@wasiinacult.com

Endogenous Cult: "252 Consequences and Counting" May 12, 2025

Show notes

Today's guest, Sara, didn't just wear a cult uniform—she sewed it. Raised in a conservative faith that slowly morphed into a cult, Sara's life went from dairy cows and barefoot summers to head coverings, spiritual "consequences," and Levitical purity laws enforced with spray bottles and shame.

What started as a desire to live a devout and simple life spiraled into isolation, abuse, and an absurd set of rules that dictated everything from her hair part to her menstrual cycle. Her story—equal parts heartbreaking, enraging, and at times darkly hilarious—includes butchering chickens in the dark, scraping cowhides in the cold, and somehow finding her way to freedom, laughter, and ice cream cones.

Instagram & TikTok: @wasiinacult

Support the Show:

If Was I In A Cult? has impacted you, moved you, or made you laugh-uncomfortably-in-public, please rate & review—it helps new listeners find us.

Want ad-free episodes + bonus content? Join our Patreon!

Share Your Story:

Have a cultic experience you want to share on the show?

Email us at info@wasiinacult.com