Unhurried Living | Helping Christians Rest Deeper & Lead Better

Latest Episodes:

Creative Conversations - How the Rules of Improv can Benefit Your Relationships Apr 16, 2018

Show notes

I recently re-read Tina Fey’s Bossypants which is a really fun read. I was reminded about the four rules of Improv. It sent me on an online search for the rules and I stumbled upon the 11 Commandments of Improv by Del Close. Del Close was a coach to many of the Saturday Night Live greats like Dan Aykroyd, Mike Myers, Tina Fey, Gilda Radner and dozens more.

It’s amazing how these simple rules can help actors keep a flow of conversation and story going in their improvisational scenes. We’ve thought before that these guidelines could be beneficial in relationship and in our conversations.

We’ve tried these out in our own friendship personally and as we do our work together. These rules of improv have helped us to get unstuck on more than on occasion.

I’ll start by sharing Tina Fey’s 4 Rules of Improv and then we’ll describe a bit how each one works relationally:

Agree…say YES
Say yes…AND
Make statements (as opposed to questions)
There are no mistakes (only opportunities)

Listen to the podcast to see how we unpack each of these in the context of relationships and conversations.

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Addiction: Emotional Deficit Spending Apr 09, 2018

Show notes

We’re talking about “Addiction” today. This isn’t so much about the substances, or relationships, or activities to which we find ourselves addicted. It’s more of a conversation about how the dynamics of addiction impact us.

When we act on addictive impulses, it is like borrowing against future emotional resources. Having a few too many drinks to feel lighthearted or relaxed is like borrowing peace or joy from our future. Overeating as a source of comfort is like borrowing comfort from our future (leaving inevitable discomfort in my future).

There is a physical reality that substance or behavior addictions stimulate or imitate certain brain chemicals in a way that results in less effective functioning of those parts of the brain next time. If I distract myself to avoid unpleasant feelings, I am borrowing concentration or focus from my future.

If you resonate with the dynamics of addiction in some part of your life, this is an invitation to enter into the freedom of grace and our response of repentance. Let's freshen the meaning of this sometimes abused word: Repentance is simply a turning away from what is draining and damaging us and turning towards the One Who is Life.

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Reservoir Leadership - Influencing from a Full Soul (Minisode) Apr 02, 2018

Show notes

What's it like to be a reservoir kind of person? Wouldn’t you like to live, relate and serve from a place of fullness, rather than continuing to pour out the last drop from your ever-emptying cup?

We can learn how to treasure the goodness God is always pouring out to us, storing it up like a reservoir of abundance out of which we might bless and serve others without becoming empty. We can make space to let God fill our souls to the brim in relationship to him. This is how Jesus was able to accomplish all that he did. He often withdrew to receive love from the Father, to learn from him.

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Dark Night of the Soul: How to Navigate God’s Apparent Absence Mar 26, 2018

Show notes

Engage with us as we talk about a dynamic that some will face in their spiritual journey, what John of the Cross called “The Dark Night of the Soul." It sounds kind of ominous and scary, but it’s actually just a place where our faith is given an opportunity for testing and refining. That doesn’t mean it feels good to us, but it is a good place. A while back, Alan wrote an article about the dark night for our blog. It’s one of our most visited posts. That’s because when you find yourself in a place like this, there’s a great thirst for insight and help.

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Where Do You Take Your Thirsts? Mar 19, 2018

Show notes

Right now, we find ourselves in the season of Lent, and a few weeks ago, Alan wrote a blog post titled “Lent: An Invitation to True Satisfaction.” He said that, "In Lent, rather than aiming at acquisition, we aim for some form of openness or even empty space. Fasting results in empty stomachs. Self-denial can quiet our selfish ambition."

But the “empty” here isn’t a vacuum. It is a welcoming of God’s presence. We open up space for God to be active in and through us. We seek to become quiet so that we can hear whatever He might wish to say.

It’s a season of noticing our thirsts, and then bringing our thirsts into the presence of God. A passage in the Bible that brings this into focus for us is Psalm 42. It’s a passage we want to talk about as we address our thirsts. We will also pray through Psalm 63 at the end of the episode and we invite you to join in the prayer from your own heart.

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Copying a True Master - The Essence of Apprenticeship Mar 12, 2018

Show notes

We made our way through quite a few rooms of the Hermitage. The interiors were jaw dropping, the paintings gorgeous. And, as Alan said, he had been there before, so he knew when we were nearing the original painting we were most looking forward to seeing, which was Rembrandt's Prodigal Son. He gave me a brief warning as we turned the corner, "Get ready."

We rounded the corner and entered the room completely devoted to Rembrandt's paintings. There it was, on its own wall, as we walked through the doorway. The original. Breathtaking.

I waited a bit for the crowd to clear so I could get a close-up view for myself. A masterful work of art, depicting essential truths: The Father is waiting. He never gives up. He loves me. He is generous.

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Eight Simple Ways to Bless People Mar 05, 2018

Show notes

In this mini-sode, we want to share eight simple ways you can bless people. These are actually drawn from a resource we produced a year ago, called "Take Five: 17 Simple Ways to Serve Others." That was before we launched this podcast, so I wanted to share some of the helpful ideas with you all.

These little "five minute" ideas aren't complex. That's actually the point. You could easily add plenty of other creative ways to bless another. We simply encourage you to do the good that God has put in your heart for the benefit of another.

These mini-ministries can be done as you live your real, day-to-day life, including emailing, grocery shopping, driving, doing laundry and washing dishes.

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The Carry Prayer - An Effective Way to Pray for Others Feb 26, 2018

Show notes

Many years ago, I (Gem) was having a conversation with a very dear friend. As we interacted, she shared some insights about me that I had not directly told her before. No one could have known, because I had not shared with anyone. She was quite observant, but I was still surprised when she shared with me her thoughts. I asked her how she knew. She said, "I know you because I pray for you."

I didn't really understand that fully at the time, but over the years I began to learn what she meant. The Lord had obviously led her to pray things for me that were core for me at the time. How is it possible to pray for someone that deeply without having been given a specific prayer request? What would it look like for Jesus invite us into his thoughts, ideas and desires for another person? How can we cooperate with Him as we pray for our friends and family?

Using the text from Luke 5, we can practice carrying others to Jesus. He knows them, loves them, and will meet them right where they are.

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Emily P. Freeman - Small Moment Living in a Fast Moving World Feb 19, 2018

Show notes

Today, it is my delight to share a conversation that I had with Emily P. Freeman. As I've followed her on Instagram, read her blog and enjoyed her podcast - I've found her to be a true kindred spirit. She is singing the same song as as Unhurried Living - as she shares the message of small moment living in a face paced world.

A little about Emily - She is a writer, creative director, and spiritual mentor who helps create space for the soul to breathe so people can walk in step with their calling.

She is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Simply Tuesday and Grace for the Good Girl as well as Graceful and A Million Little Ways. She's been writing online for over 10 years and is the co-founder of a growing community for writers at hopewriters.com.

She and her husband live in North Carolina with their three children. Connect with Emily online at emilypfreeman.com and on Instagram @emilypfreeman.

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Managing Our Expectations: Seasons, Stages & Transitions Feb 12, 2018

Show notes

Today is the last in our five-part series where we've been responding to your answers to our poll question: "What is the biggest challenge you face right now in living a more unhurried life?"

We received a whole grouping of answers that were all about life's seasons, stages and transitions.

" We have the mom with young children at home trying to figure out how anything resembling unhurried time is even possible.
" There's the student who is away at college, who feels the pressures of both school and family issues at home.
" We have the parents of the college students who are feeling the effects of the empty nest.
" There are those in the sandwich generation - caring for both aging parents and children at home.

We've also heard from people who say that they can't meet with God in the same ways they used to. They keep working at an old practice that just doesn't seem fruitful anymore. Or they simply cannot make their way to what used to fill their soul.

This conversation about seasons, stages and transitions can help us at any point in our lives.

I (Gem) remember, at one point, well into my 30s, we were talking and I realized that we kept using the word "transition." "Oh, it feels like we are in another transition." We came to the realization that life was transition. We were always moving from season or stage to the next.

Maybe our lives aren't about settling into a destination as much as continuing on a fruitful journey.

So, rather than coming up with dozens of specific scenarios about people facing different seasons, stages or transitions, we're going to try to give a vision for the over-arching reality of what these seasons can feel like. Especially as it relates to when we try to carry standards, or expectations, or even practices from one season into the next. We are tempted to see our lives as monolithic. What works for me now will work for me always. Listen in for more on this…

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