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    History

    Trashy Royals – Hemlock Creatives

    Whether it’s the debauchery of ancient Roman emperors, the Tudor crime family, the shenanigans behind the Chair of St. Peter, or the Austrian elites’ attempts to save themselves by trading their daughters to other royal houses, it turns out that our betters have always been among our worst. Join Alicia and Stacie from Trashy Divorces as we turn our jaded eyes to a different kind of moral garbage fire: Trashy Royals! Thursdays. Brought to you by Hemlock Creatives.

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    Copyright: © 2018-2023 Hemlock Creatives

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    Latest Episodes:
    190. Meet the Mountbattens! Jun 14, 2026
    Show notes

    While royal houses are often insular and even incestuous (at least at the cousin-marrying level), new blood does manage to enter those gene pools from time to time. Meet the Mountbattens! The family's story begins in Russia, circa 1850, where the orphaned daughter of a Polish general named Julia von Hauke was serving in the household of Maria Alexandrovna, future wife of future Tsar Alexander II. Maria's brother, Prince Alexander of Hesse and by Rhine, fell hard for the common-born Julia, a romance that was seemingly halted by Emperor Nicholas I, who wanted Prince Alexander to marry his niece.

    Unable to shake off their love, the two eloped, which left Alexander persona non grata in the Russian court. Returning to his native Hesse, Prince Alexander's brother, Grand Duke Louis III of Hesse-Darmstadt, granted Julia the title of Countess of Battenberg, named for a town in the north of the duchy, and later, Princess of Battenberg.

    But Europe's royal houses have both a long memory and an enormous snobbery, meaning that when Alexander and Julia's sons, The Battenberg Boys, began pursuing the granddaughters of England's Queen Victoria for marriage a generation later, the courtships - successful and unsuccessful - were rife with intrigue and scandal. But it was the marriage of Louis Battenberg to Queen Vic's granddaughter Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine that would eventually transform the family from a tainted, common-born Battenberg lineage to the British Mountbattens, the house of Queen Elizabeth II's husband, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. But that's a story for next week.

    Listen ad-free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@amplitudemediapartners.com⁠⁠⁠⁠.


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    189. The Dung-Named Emperor and Prime Minister Sausage Maker Jun 11, 2026
    Show notes

    After the Henry the Impotent story a few weeks back, Stacie became curious about some of the other odd nicknames that have been applied to rulers and leaders over the centuries. Today, we take a look at Constantine V, the Dung-Named Emperor, and a former Spanish Prime Minister who became perhaps the most hated man in Spain in the 18th and 19th centuries.

    Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    188. Charles II | The End of the Party Jun 04, 2026
    Show notes

    We have come to the last of our episodes about the merriest of monarchs, Charles II. He had a great run for half a century, but the good times for Chuck and his court stop in 1685. What might be the cause of his death? And what happens to the ladies he left behind? All is revealed here to close out this trashy series.

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    Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to Quince.com/trashyroyals for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too!

    Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    187. The Wives of Julius Caesar | Cossutia, Cornelia, Pompeia, and Calpurnia May 28, 2026
    Show notes

    Though the Ides of March is long gone for the year, Alicia is engaged in some oratory this week and wanted to revisit a past episode about another famous orator - Gaius Julius Caesar. We’re taking stock of his life and times through his marriages, both the ones we’re sure happened, the one we aren’t sure happened – and of course, Cleopatra makes an appearance.

    Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    186. Lady Colin Campbell May 18, 2026
    Show notes

    Lady Colin Campbell has led quite a life in her day, and one very connected into our upcoming storytelling journey. Today, it is crossover all about her trashy divorce, sticky royal spiderwebs, and so much more as we enter Lady Colin Campbell into our cinematic universe as a future player and source too.

    Listen ad-free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@amplitudemediapartners.com⁠⁠⁠⁠.


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    185. Henry the Impotent | Enrique IV of Castile May 14, 2026
    Show notes

    The 15th century was a chaotic time the kingdoms that would eventually form modern Spain. Castile, Navarre, and Aragon - as well as Portugal - were constantly jostling for advantage, even though the rulers were generally all related to each other by blood, marriage, or both. For Castile, the last of these weak, bumbling rulers with questionable priorities was Henry IV (Enrique IV), whose petition for the dissolution of his first, childless marriage, argued that a hex had been placed on him that made him impotent with his wife Blanche of Navarre. But only with Blanche! You're definitely not ready for what happened next.

    Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    184. Hortense Mancini's Wild English Adventure May 10, 2026
    Show notes

    After escaping her abusive husband, Hortense spent some time on the lam. She published her memoirs, which made her a celebrated author, and then, at the urging of the English ambassador, headed to London to "see her niece" - and within months, was yet another mistress of Charles II. And soon after, Charles II's eldest daughter with Barbara Villiers. There were plenty more lovers to come, so to speak, as well.

    Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    183. Hortense Mancini and Her Marital Misadventure May 06, 2026
    Show notes

    The Restoration court of Charles II is known not for governing, but for the seemingly endless bed-hopping antics of the Merry Monarch. Today, in this Trashy Divorces crossover, we meet the last mistress to join that odd club, Hortense Mancini. Born to a big brood in Rome - Hortense was the eighth of ten - the family moved to Paris after her father's death, where her uncle Cardinal Mazarin gave them entry to the French court and planned for his nieces' futures as wives. He chose poorly in the case of Hortense, but her unhappy marriage ultimately propelled her to the shores of England, as well as making her a celebrated writer.

    Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    182. The Face of Queen Anne Boleyn?! May 04, 2026
    Show notes

    It is late breaking Tudor news that Alicia had to share! Just published, scientists from the University of Bradford through a little fancy math and facial recognition just might have discovered the true face of Anne Boleyn, the second and murdered wife of Henry VIII.

    Listen ad-free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@amplitudemediapartners.com⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


    181. Grace O'Malley, Ireland's Pirate Queen Apr 30, 2026
    Show notes

    A century and a half before the “Golden Age of Piracy,” an Irish woman of noble birth was conquering the inland seas and coastlines on the western edge of the island. Gráinne Ó Máille, anglicized to Grace O’Malley, hailed from the Umhaill line, a seafaring clan of Connacht, and while the family did conduct legitimate forms of trade, they also ran protection rackets on boats that tried to fish their waters, and sometimes plundered merchant vessels in the area, as well as settlements belonging to neighboring clans.

    Her life almost perfectly overlapped Queen Elizabeth I’s, and during Grace’s life, the English Crown was deeply invested in the conquest of Ireland, mostly by seducing its nobles into servitude with fancy English titles. Barons and Earls proliferated around Dublin for years, but English shenanigans finally reached the West of the country when Grace’s first husband was cut out from the line of succession to his family’s Chief of the Name. Then he was assassinated, leaving Grace ready and willing to enact violent revenge on his killers.

    The Crown continued eroding the alliances she was building. Her second husband was demoted from his role as regional king of Connacht while Grace was jailed on a plundering trip. When the Crown-supported king died, Grace and her husband teamed up to raise an army of 2,000 men to insure his succession. He not only got the title, but was named a Baron as well, in exchange for his promise of fealty to English law.

    But Crown agents had already set their sights on Grace O’Malley as the kind of noteworthy adversary whose arrest or death would send a message throughout the Emerald Isle, and Grace was eventually forced to sail to London to seek an audience with Queen Elizabeth herself, an effort in which she prevailed handily.

    Grace’s story is full of courage, vengeance, and daring-do, but it’s also a story rooted in specific moment in time, when the longstanding society of Ireland was changing and being changed. Ireland’s Pirate Queen Grace O’Malley saw it all up close, and as a most unconventional woman, charted her own course through.


    Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast.

    To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices


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