Tom Rhodes Smart Camp

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323 Bunker Birthday Party Apr 21, 2020

Show notes

Hooray for moms!

What good is money if you can't spend it on your mom? On April 15, 2020 my mother turned 81 years old and we recorded this conversation together under virus quarantine lockdown. My mother and I have had a beautiful relationship through the years and she has shared all of my triumphs and sorrows as I have shared hers. I love taking trips with her and we have been fortunate to experience together, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Amsterdam, Rome, Zurich, Buenos Aires and Jerusalem but the unexpected joy of having her with me here in Los Angeles as my bunker partner for great virus lock down of 2020 is the most serendipitous event of my lifetime. From my mother I get my thoughtfulness and she is my hero not only because she has survived so much to make it to where she is today, but because she taught me how to love, and to love fully. Since the stay at home orders went down my mom and I have a very nicely structured day. In the morning we talk and read our books over coffee and then after breakfast I work (Edit notes on my next album 'The Honky Motherland'). Then after lunch we watch BBC art documentaries and or play Scrabble. After dinner every night we watch a movie from my vast collection of DVDs. In this episode my mother and I talk about and review every movie we have watched so far for the Tom & Sara 2020 Quarantine Film Festival. This is my mother's first ever podcast appearance and it was recorded on her birthday, a day that is always a day I love to celebrate the magnificent human that is my mother. The movies we talk about and the ones that we have seen so far are: Treasure Of Sierra Madre Asphalt Jungle The Killing What About Bob? Tropic Thunder The Outlaw Josey Wales Sexy Beast History Of The World Part 1 A Pigeon Sat On A Branch Reflecting on Existence Lion King Finding Vivian Maier Only Angels Have Wings Fist Full Of Dollars Ask The Dust The Mission True Romance Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World The Way Mr. Turner 1900 The Agony & The Ecstasy Nebraska The Messenger - Joan Of Arc Lawrence Of Arabia Paris, I Love You Glen Gary Glen Ross Caravaggio Time Bandits Legends Of The Fall

322 Applauding The Sunset Apr 14, 2020

Show notes

Is the threat of our possible human extinction bringing you down? This is a big shot of love and sunshine from the Rhodes library. When this stink ball of shit virus shut down the world my dearly loved 80 year old mother was visiting me and I got lucky to be riding out this storm with her.

Had she not been visiting me at this moment we both would have been alone for this and probably each of us would have been more casual in our attitude because of the virus. Because getting her through this alive is my main priority I love my combat preparedness that I consider when I have to go out for supplies.

I love cooking all of our meals and I've learned that as a son I have many duties to my mother but letting her win at Scrabble is not one of them. You've never seen someone get so trounced at Scrabble as I have so soundly been beating her. Qi baby! Qi is a word and you should remember that because if played right it is a crusher. This is a special time now if you are spending it with someone you love. My heart smiled when my mom told me that I remind her of Kanye West because I am always working on projects. Because my balcony faces West I get the most spectacular sunsets and everyday we go out and applaud the sunset. As the sun disappears I say: "Thank you sun you did great today. Enjoy your trip around the earth and we'll see you tomorrow." Because of my vast collection of books, music and movies we have plenty of brain food to feed ourselves with everyday. In the daytime we watch BBC art documentaries and at night we watch classic movies. Currently my mom is reading a book called 'The Success And Failure Of Picasso' and I am on page 713 of the Andrew Roberts' biography of Napoleon called 'Napoleon The Great. Whatever your sacred passions are now is the time to dive in to them and perfect your ability. There is no reason not to come out on the other side of this a better version of yourself. Shalom amigos y amigas!

* I collected postcards around the world for many years. Become a member of the podcast and receive handwritten postcards! Sign up here > Patreon.com/tomrhodesradiosmartcamp

321 Life Lessons With Lynn Ruth Miller Feb 18, 2020

Show notes

"You can be whoever you want to be in America, in your gated community, away from all those dirty poor people who might cast judgement on you."

My own personal golden girl, Lynn Ruth Miller stops by the Rhodes library to share the best lessons she has learned in life and to tell me about her new life living in London and performing all over the world.

After getting fucked by #wellsfargo bank on a refinancing scam she lost her house and disgusted with the ruthless nature of American capitalism she moved to England at 80 years old to take a chance on having a comedy career there.

After a bumpy start in Brighton she is making a name for herself in London and now performing all over the world. "I don't think enough sympathy has been shown to the Germans for what they went through in World War II."

"It must have been hell being a man in the 1950s. You had to work to support a home and family and you had to please a demanding wife."

"Now is the best time to be alive because you can be whatever gender you want now." After Bush we got Obama so after Trump I think our next president will be a black left handed midget lesbian. "The world is going through a transition right now and I think it is headed in a great place because you can be whoever you want to be right now." "Why don't we have faith that the majority of people want to better themselves?" Republicans care about families, but specifically their family only. White college educated soccer moms are the reason why things are the way they are in this country now. They've got what they need so fuck everyone else. "You can be whoever you want to be in America, in your gated community, away from all those dirty poor people who might cast judgement on you." What's hot between the covers? 'The God of small things', 'How green was my valley', 'To kill a mockingbird' and 'Of mice and men.'

"It's a funny thing when no one wants you. The thing you have to remember about rejection is that everyone is trying to protect themselves." You can't let other people decide how you feel about yourself. Happiness is not being dead and having something to look forward to. "Plant a tree and give someone a cuddle.That's all we can do. At her age her biggest break will be a hip fracture." Just remember, "The woods would be silent if the only birds who sang were the ones who sang best."

Patreon.com/tomrhodesradiosmartcamp

320 Under the circus tent of knowledge with Dan Cummins Feb 11, 2020

Show notes

"If you tried to govern people by the rules of the bible it would be a bloody mess and women would be treated like property."

TRR # 320 Under the circus tent of knowledge with Dan Cummins!

Listen here > https://bit.ly/37hmW4C

Dan Cummins is a comedian that I love, respect and admire. He is the rare human that I can blaze any trail with mentality on any topic and we both dazzle each other with valuable knowledge nuggets.

Dan left Los Angeles and moved back home to Idaho, "Playboy of all brands brought our family back home." Since then Dan has created a handsome podcast empire with his "Time Suck" podcast.

Dan tells me about the sexually liberated intellectuals he had the best conversations with during his time working for Playboy television. We talk here about the brothers Grim fairy tales, Disney films, Ted X talks, how going dark gets you more followers than going light, Josephine Baker, John Dillinger, Bonnie and Clyde, the Jumbo appendages possessed by Lyndon Johnson and Rasputin, Vlad the Impaler and how the Salem witch trials was essentially a land grab.

This episode was recorded in Las Vegas where people come to show the worst side of themselves, Dan and I have gathered here under the circus tent of knowledge to rejoice in all that we know and to celebrate the joy of friendship with intelligent observations like "The way young people now sit around inventing new apps, in the old days people used to sit around inventing new torture equipment."

It is my pleasure to present to you now the one and only Dan Cummins!

319 Henry Miller Book Roulette with Eddie Pepitone Feb 04, 2020

Show notes

Rejoice in the glory that is the words and thoughts of Henry Miller! One of the greatest American writers all time. Your zest for life begins here!

Eddie Pepitone and I celebrate the author Henry Miller, one of the best human examples to follow the path of the artist and smile in the face of struggle.

"The Rosy Crucifixion trilogy is basically about being crucified on the cross of love".

Learn how the act of creativity is the way to pull out of your darkest moments in life and return to the light. "I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive". The best writings of Henry Miller should be assembled into a single book and made into the new bible and placed in hotel rooms all over the world. "I want to write something that has real guts. Real hard realism. If every man wrote down what was his real truth the entire world word explode. Open yourself up and be super vulnerable in order to achieve your self liberation. Release the inner angel within! The theory of artistic creativity, when you feel a crisis coming on start writing, express yourself artistically. Charlie Chaplin gave dignity to poverty. Miller's fascination with exotic far away places in the secret desire to reveal the mysteries and truth of his inner self. In this episode Eddie and I read quotes from the books of Henry Miller spread out on my table and discuss the inspiring thoughts laid out by the zen master of artistic living. "The man of heart believes and the world belongs to the man who believes most." Regain your faith in life, learn how not to hold anything back and risk everything in order to be the greatest possible version of yourself that will be long remembered when you are gone. This is one of my favorite Smart Camp episodes ever because of the passion that Eddie Pepitone and I both have for the pure beam of inspiring light that was the life and words of Henry Miller.

As the zen masters say the best joy can be found in perfecting your mind and soul and today I give you this powerful pill of knowledge that is Henry Miller book roulette with Eddie Pepitone!

318 Funk Is Universal! with Alex Thomas Jan 28, 2020

Show notes

"How you are on the golf course is how you are in real life, if you cheat on the golf course you will cheat in real life." Alex Thomas and I met when we toured Israel together. I brought my mother on that tour and Alex brought his family because we both wanted to share the experience with the people we loved most. This conversation was recorded last week before the tragic death of Kobe Bryant. In this episode we talk about how the Republicans now are the 1919 Chicago Black Sox because they are all in on the fix. Alex is the self proclaimed Ghetto Tiger Woods or the black Bob Hope. "How you are on the golf course is how you are in real life, if you cheat on the golf course you will cheat in real life." "The bible is my favorite book, I was taught and value integrity, I believe in karma and the golden rule." Who was this guy Mulligan that was so bad at golf that the one fuck up do over is named after him? An amazing fact about Alex is that his father was 'Wind' in Earth, Wind & Fire. Alex grew up with the stars of 1970s funk hanging out with his dad at their house in South Central Los Angeles. "Funk is universal!" The one and only thing that will save the Middle East is roller boogie. Alex worked as a choreographer on Living Color for the Fly Girls with Jennifer Lopez and Rosie Perez. He was in Snoop Dog's Gin n' Juice video and he contributed voice comedy skits to 50 Cent and Kanye West's biggest albums. He wrote for the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air and has done recurring voice characters on the animated series Family Guy, this man has had a storied career as a stand up comedian. We talk about our experiences in Israel and why it is important to coordinate your yarmulke with your Jordans. "Visiting Bethlehem was like going to a penitentiary on visiting day." Israel is where all of the stories come from but the story that belongs to us is that Alex and I became friends while doing a theater tour in the holy land. "Always laugh, always smile. I am not a doctor and I am not the Lord, but I have the power to heal people through laughter."

317 Keeping Hatred To Yourself with Shazia Mirza Jan 21, 2020

Show notes

"If we are to survive as a human race we have to hide our hatreds, we have to find things we have in common if we want to progress and move forward." I first met Shazia Mirza in 2002 when I had my late night talk show in Amsterdam when we did shows around The Netherlands together. I was riding high with the dream TV job and Shazia was a cultural juggernaut at the time because she was playing a pro terrorism Muslim character on stage with her one liners and was getting a lot of media coverage at the time. When we met on this tour Shazia had a reporter from the Guardian following her and writing a story about her. It was a very exciting time for both of us in our careers and even though we are both from very different cultures we bonded because we are in the same tribe of stand up comedy. "The Jews have a great history of producing comedians, so do the Catholics, we have never had a history of comedians. Islam is a new religion and so is our comedy and satire. It takes time before you can laugh at something." "You have to have life experience to be a comedian and instagram is not a life experience. You can't not die, suffer and struggle and be a great comic." It is a privilege to be in this business and creativity is the key to happiness. Last year Shazia was on a reality TV show on the BBC called Survival Island, for one month she had to survive with people from different backgrounds, cultures and ethnicities and she had a major revelation from the experience. "What we needed to do to survive was to keep our hatreds to ourselves. You can survive on your own for a while but in the end you need other people to survive. It made me see that if we are to survive as a human race we have to find things we have in common and hide our hatreds if we are to progress and move forward." "Spending time with people you don't like is a waste of life. You can only judge people by two ways... some people give you energy and other people drain you of your energy. Avoid the people who suck the joy out of life." Brilliant insights and sentences like "Starving to death on a desert island is a once in a lifetime experience." is why it is my pleasure to present to you now the one and only Shazia Mirza! patreon.com/tomrhodesradiosmartcamp

316 Shantaram with Jake Johannsen Jan 14, 2020

Show notes

Shantaram with Jake Johannsen

"I would never commit a felony, I am strictly a misdemeanor guy."

Jake Johannsen comes to the Rhodes library to talk about his favorite book 'Shantaram' by Gregory David Roberts. In this conversation we talk about people losing the sparkle in their eyes in Hollywood, how Kurt Vonnegut will improve your life and how Kurt Vonnegut is to Jake what James Brown is to me. I teach Jake the 8 words of Spanish that saved me from getting ripped off by cops and I tell him about the one and only time I have ever been in jail which was when I was 19 years old in Little Rock, Arkansas. That weekend I spent in jail at 19 was very influential in my life because I would never commit a felony, I am strictly a misdemeanor guy.

In this episode we weigh the benefits of martial arts versus carrying mace and how in life, just like when you are dealing with a heckler, using kindness and charm is always the best course of action.We talk about how instagram is better than twitter because no one is going to get pissed off at a sunset, historical obsessions and how Clark from Lewis and Clark was a turd who died in obscurity. Arctic sea voyage disasters where heroic dogs were eaten, Captain Cook's murder by Hawaiian natives happened because he couldn't swim and why you should avoid durian because it tastes like ass pudding. Try everything once except incest and folk dancing. A man is not a man until he has earned the love of a woman, earned her trust and keep it.

The beautiful way Ashna and I ended our marriage by ending it in love just the way we started it. I can never not love Ashna. I never want to not know her. I would never be mean to her and I would help her succeed any way I can. Like we examine in the book Shantaram, you can't kill love. You only live once and when you are dead you are done so let the good times roll.

Connect with people, let go of your anger. Change your thoughts and change your life with simple acts of love. This conversation is the last time two older white guys did something important in Hollywood. Tell each other jokes! Collect street jokes or write your own, always make sure you always carry at least one joke that will make a little kid laugh, but no matter what never heckle Lawrence Olivier. Long may you run and long may you pee! Shalom amigos y amigas and long may you fill your beings with knowledge, wisdom and love! Be less of an asshole this decade! Hooray for humanity!

patreon.com/tomrhodesradiosmartcamp

315 Being Less of an Asshole Jan 07, 2020

Show notes

Everyday my prayer is the same... God please make me less of an asshole.

That is also my New Year's resolution, to try to be less of an asshole. The epidemic of modern assholishness is something I am not immune to and I was an unrelenting asshole recently when I appeared on the Tom & Dan podcast when I was back in Orlando during the holidays.The tidal wave of internet hate that followed let me know that plenty of people thought I was a turd. Also when I was back home I met the family of the soldier who had committed suicide who I had witnessed a year before experiencing peak grief at MCO airport. At the moment I saw them it reminded me of how I felt when I lost my sister and it put into perspective that pain from a divorce is a minor thing in comparison to having a loved family member plucked from you out of this life. While at home I had the realization that none of us should ever identify as Republican or Democrat, we should only indentify ourselves as friend, brother, son, husband or the female equivalent and stop treating each other like enemies. In this episode I talk about how my mother came to Los Angeles for Christmas with me and the adventure we had driving up the Pacific coast highway after Christmas. We saw Elephant seals fighting for dominance, the Henry Miller library in Big Sur, Folktales winery where I did a show, the John Steinbeck Center in Salinas and how I love honoring my mother anyway that I can to let me know how special she is to me. For New Year's Eve I flew to Toronto to celebrate with my new girlfriend. We danced all night at the Ritz - Carlton and had abundant fresh fruit all night as we refilled our glasses with champagne and sparkling water for me. I recorded this episode on January 1 in room 1109 at the Ritz - Carlton Toronto right under the CN tower. As a new decade knowledge nugget treat I read to you from the book 'Rad Women Worldwide' about the lives of Fridha Kahlo, Josephine Baker and Marta. As this new decade dawns I wish you all the best that life has to offer and I pledge my best to be less of an asshole especially to nice guys who don't deserve it like Tom & Dan. In truth I need to keep my jealousy of others in check and be grateful for what I have because I have a lot and my bottom is just as pampered as anyone else's. I am in love, I have great friends and the small group of hard core fans that I do have blow a lot of sunshine into my life. Joy be upon you all for 2020! Hooray for humanity! patreon.com/tomrhodesradiosmartcamp

314 Having fun with Josh Wolf Nov 26, 2019

Show notes

"Modern country music is like heavy metal was in the 80s, it's all about partying, girls and having fun." - Josh Wolf

We start this episode with the remedy of a Charles Bukowski poem that is the shield against some of the monkey mouth chump shit of the world. How is it possible that some hayseed rednecks drink pickle juice and are the morality tales of the Andy Griffith show more important than the ones in the bible? How disappointed were little people when Willie Wonka and the chocolate factory was made and the glorious decision Martin Scorcesse made by saying that super hero movies are not cinema. We talk about current films and the reason I went to see the new Terminator movie and how it is connected to my family reunions. Josh grew up in Amherst, Massachucetts and became a huge country music fan and has more optimism and sunshine than your average New Englander. We talk about concerts of our youth and the time I saw the audience throw shoes at the B52s until they left the stage in Orlando in 1982. What order would Josh eat the Beatles in their prime if he was in a plane crash in the Andes with them and had to eat them to survive? He also explains the best strategy to use when fist fighting with your son. We discuss finding the funny end to jokes and the reason why you should always keep notes. Why New Zealand is so special and when is a good time to let large men in the front row take their shirts off. The secret to getting fans to bring you gifts of weed on the road is the result of High Life, his back yard live stream video podcast he puts out every Monday evening on his facebook fan page. We rate the best country music songs of all time and I read to him the rarely known Johnny Cash song called 'The greatest cowboy of them all.' which is a song about Jesus as a cowboy. Don't forget to have fun because as Einstein said, "Play is just as important as work for the mind." Josh is a man happily married for 15 years so I end this episode by asking him about the key tips and rules for keeping a marriage alive while pursuing a career in comedy. Josh would never yell at his wife even if the house was on fire and that is why it is my pleasure to present to you the one and only Josh Wolf! Patreon.com/tomrhodesradiosmartcamp.com

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