Stay ConnectedTwo women. Two generations. Each with a mic and lots to talk about.
Hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender dive into honest, funny, and practical conversations about bridging faith with today’s cultural realities. They ask the hard questions and unpack what it looks like to bring smart living to a modern world—without losing your mind (or your sense of humor).
Expect laughter, gentle truth-telling, and the kind of advice you’d actually text a friend about
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We often hear that marriage is work—once the honeymoon phase is over, of course. And it’s true; marriage does require some adjustments and compromises. But what about the things that happened before marriage? The situations that may have taken place years ago, but the repercussions of which are still creeping into your union?
Co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender are joined by Grit and Grace Life writer Rachel Hagstrom to talk about how to unpack the baggage in your marriage. Both Rachel and her husband experienced separate traumatic events that slowly began chipping away at the foundation of their union. In this episode, she speaks to the importance of marriage counseling, grieving the pain you may have caused one another, and confronting the triggers that threaten your relationship. It was only when Rachel and her husband faced their past head on that they were able to revive the love that brought them together and the stability to keep it that way.
Rachel Hagstrom is married to her favorite veteran (Go Army!) of 14 years, and is a mom to two spirited daughters and one kind goldendoodle. After years of struggling with health challenges, she decided to do her own research and make changes to take a more proactive approach toward her well-being.
Now as a board-certified health and wellness coach, Rachel is passionate about walking alongside other women who seek opportunities for growth, healing, and transformation in their daily lives. When she’s not coaching, you’ll find her writing, reading, and spending time outdoors (most preferably next to the ocean, which only exists in her mind now that she lives in Dallas!)
You can follow Rachel on Instagram @rachelhagstrom and on her website, rachelhagstrom.com
Quote of the episode:“Heartache is not your home.” —Rachel Hagstrom
ResourcesMentions:—Try Softer by Aundi Kolber —”PTSD Threatened Our Love Story—Finding Help Saved It”
Related Content:
—“Recognize Your Emotional Triggers So They Don’t Interrupt Your Life” —Need a Life Overhaul? Wellness Expert Rachel Hagstrom Tells You How – 189
Follow Us on Social Media!We launched our sister project, Smart Living with Grit and Grace, a few months ago as a dedicated platform for women to exchange all the practical tips, advice and encouragement they’ve gleaned over the years.
They cover everything from both heartwarming and not-so-pretty motherhood moments; how to overcome loneliness and adapt to change; the top things they wish they knew in their twenties; Valentine’s Day gifts that women really want; their favorite quotes and one-liners that help them walk their own grit and grace life, and tons more.
In this episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share several of the Smart Living tips submitted by our team of writers. (Reader note: These have been compiled in an ebook, which is available to download for free below!) We hope you’ll enjoy these tidbits of wisdom and find them applicable in your own life.
Quote of the episode:“Real beauty is found in a woman’s strength.” —Darlene Brock
ResourcesMentions:—Click here to download our Smart Living ebook—free! —Visit our sister project, Smart Living with Grit and Grace —Check out our advice column, Ask Dr. Zoe —Listen to our recent podcast episode with Allison McCormick: Racism—How Can We Help Fight It? with Allison McCormick – 206 —Listen to our podcast episode with Rachel Hagstrom: Need a Life Overhaul? Wellness Expert Rachel Hagstrom Tells You How – 189
Follow Us on Social Media!When you think of mother-daughter relationships, the many film renditions of “Freaky Friday” might come to mind. That relationship dynamic is not at all uncommon, but maybe it’s one you’re looking to pivot from, or avoid entirely as you raise your daughter.
On this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender welcome back Marlys Johnson Lawry, a writer for Grit and Grace Life and mom of an adult daughter. Marlys recalls the relationship she had with her mom, which was strong and dependable, but lacked some of the tender moments that Marlys desired while growing up.
To change the narrative with her own daughter, Marlys took a different approach. She shares how she fostered a strong relationship and kept a line of communication open with her daughter despite their busy schedules, as well as how she navigated painful situations and seasons of resentment while still reinforcing her love.
Whether you’re a mom to a toddler, school-aged child or a teenager, this conversation will give you the tips needed to build a strong foundation for a lifelong mother-daughter friendship.
Marlys Johnson Lawry is a speaker, award-winning writer (Cascade Awards 2019 and 2022), and Chai latte enthusiast. She loves getting outdoors—would rather lace up hiking boots than go shopping—and has a passion for encouraging people to live well in the hard and holy seasons of life, having embraced her share of sorrows and losses.
Quote of the episode:“We have the power to speak hopelessness into our children’s lives, but we also have the power to speak life and hope and courage.” —Marlys Johnson Lawry
ResourcesMentions: —Listen to Dr. Zoe Shaw’s podcast episode of Stronger in the Difficult Places, where she interviews Darlene about her upbringing with a difficult mother: When Mother’s Day Isn’t So Happy—Navigating a Difficult Relationship With Your Mother
—Listen to Marlys’ previous episode on This Grit and Grace Life: Your World Just Turned Upside Down—What Now? with Marlys Johnson Lawry – 197
Related episodes and articles: —How to Be the Mother Yours Wasn’t – 196
—Read Marlys’ article on how and her daughter developed a rock-solid relationship: How to Make Your Daughter a Lifelong Friend
Follow Us on Social Media!Happiness in America is dwindling, according to a 2022 Gallup survey. There are several factors that play into this trend, but perhaps the most important question is whether we’re stuck being unhappy. Do we have to just endure?
In this podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender address the state of unhappiness that’s rippling through the world right now and answer the age-old question of whether or not it’s appropriate to pursue happiness as a Christian.
Together, they lay out practical steps for finding happiness and boosting your overall mood, which covers everything from being aware of the content you consume and where you’re spending your time (quite literally!), to your perspective on gratitude and whether you’re actually harboring resentment toward someone or something from your past.
Minor spoiler alert: You don’t have to stay unhappy. But where you land on the matter is largely impacted by your choices. Tune in to this episode to see what small change(s) might make a world of difference.
Quote of the episode:“Some people feel like faith and happiness are at odds, but true happiness comes through pursuing our faith.” —Julie Bender
ResourcesMentions: —My Parents’ Murder-Suicide And The Road To Forgiveness With Tracy Brandt – 208
Related episodes: —How To Find Peace And Purpose In An Out Of Control World With Dr Zoe – 164
Follow Us on Social Media!FacebookInstagram:@SmartLivingwithGritandGrace@ThisGritandGraceLifeTwitterPinterest
What does it mean to follow Jesus or to say, “I am a Christian?”
With the recent Asbury Revival igniting new conversations around faith, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender decided to share the highs and lows of their individual faith journeys and getting to know Jesus. Darlene grew up in a strict church environment with a lot of rules, while Julie’s Methodist church emphasized the importance of relationships and feeling connected with others in the house of God.
Both took paths that brought them closer to Jesus but encountered moments of pride and self-righteousness in their faith that they later learned couldn’t prevent real-life heartache. They chat about the beauty and difficulty of having a relationship with Jesus, the beauty in our imperfect lives with Him, the hope and comfort He offers us, and why we need to learn to trust Him when He says He loves us unconditionally.
Quote of the episode:“This is why we need Jesus: because we cannot be perfect.” —Julie Bender
ResourcesRelated articles: —Battered Faith: Holding On To Hope Even When You Struggle —Building Faith: Growing In Your Relationship With God
Related episodes: —Does The Bible Need To Be Part Of Our Lives? with Steve Wiggins – 173 —If You Want To Grow In Faith, Try These Simple Things – 144
Follow Us on Social Media!FacebookInstagram:@SmartLivingwithGritandGrace@ThisGritandGraceLifeTwitterPinterest
How do you forgive the unforgiveable?
This week’s guest, Tracy Brandt, did just that after losing her parents to murder-suicide: Her father took her mother’s life, just before taking his own.
Tracy joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to share details of the dysfunctional and tumultuous upbringing that preceded the loss of her parents. They fought often, held bitterness toward each other and seemed incapable of communicating in a healthy way.
After learning the news, Tracy had no intention of forgiving her father. About a year later, however, she felt God place it on her heart. In this episode, she recalls the emotional back and forth she had with the Creator of the universe, how He changed her understanding of why she should forgive, and what the healing process looked like on the road to forgiveness.
Tracy Brandt and her husband, Rod, are the collegiate directors of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at Western Carolina University in North Carolina. They have a son named Boaz. Learn more about Tracy and the work she does here.
Quote of the episode:“Forgiveness is a choice. It’s a decision. It’s not a feeling.” —Tracy Brandt
ResourcesRead the book Tracy recommended: —Forgiveness: The Freedom to Let Go by June Hunt
Follow Us on Social Media!FacebookInstagram:@SmartLivingwithGritandGrace@ThisGritandGraceLifeTwitterPinterest
“Are you approaching people the way God would want you to?”
It’s an important question posed by Darlene Brock and Julie Bender in this podcast episode. This week, they continue the conversation from the previous episode, where Grit and Grace Life writer Allison McCormick, a biracial woman married to a Black man, shared her perspective on race relations in the world today.
In an honest conversation from women of faith, Darlene and Julie discuss what we can do to fight racism, including taking on some tougher assignments: setting aside your defenses and learning to listen to others. They also share our biblical responsibility to address bias, what God says about race and humanity, and how we can celebrate racial diversity each day.
Listen to the last episode here: Racism—How Can We Help Fight It? With Allison McCormick – 206
Quote of the episode:“Unity has never meant uniformity.” —Martin Luther King, Jr
ResourcesRead:—3 Ways to Correctly Ask Someone About Their Ethnicity
Follow Us on Social Media!FacebookInstagram:@SmartLivingwithGritandGrace@ThisGritandGraceLifeTwitterPinterest
There is an undeniable tension that exists when dealing with race in our world today. So when it comes to having those hard conversations and arriving at a place of better understanding each other, many people don’t know where—or how—to start.
Longtime Grit and Grace Life team writer Allison McCormick joins Darlene and Julie this week to share her advice. As a biracial woman married to a Black man, Allison details the confusion and complexity of discovering her true biracial identity and the situations her husband has had to endure. She shares what we and other Christian women can do to fight hate and discrimination, and what actionable steps we can take to see real, impactful change when it comes to racial harmony.
Note to listeners: There are some audio issues in this episode that we did our best to fix. But we hope you listen through because the content and information shared in this episode is of utmost valuable and not to be missed.
Allison McCormick alleges to be a “self-proclaimed” introvert but give her a cup of Chai tea and surround her with friends and she shares the gift of gab. A lover of Jesus, wife, and mentor, she shares her passion for encouraging women with all those who cross her path.
Quote of the episode:“We have a historical past of injustice, of slavery, of racism…and when we see injustice, we have to actually be willing to do something. Not just see it, but take the next step of really being willing to confront it.” —Allison McCormick
ResourcesRead Allison’s articles on race:
—Why My Mother Hid Her Race for Love —Can Redemptive Love Overcome Racial Division?
Follow Us on Social Media!FacebookInstagram:@SmartLivingwithGritandGrace@ThisGritandGraceLifeTwitterPinterest
In our nearly six month hiatus, a lot has happened in the lives of This Grit and Grace Life‘s hosts. Darlene developed and launched Grit and Grace Life‘s sister project, Smart Living with Grit and Grace, while Julie welcomed a brand new baby girl named Reverie Bender.
Like any good friends would do after being apart, Darlene and Julie spend some time catching up and discussing what else is new in Julie’s life (hint: a lot!). For our newer listeners, Julie recaps her first marriage, her sudden widowhood, getting back into the dating scene and how she met her now-husband, Donny. She also speaks to what trust looks like in a marriage, parenting roles in a blended family, and how she decided she was ready to have another baby.
Quote of the episode:“There are times when I have just messed it up royally and I have to just stop and say, ‘Can we pray? Because I need to turn this around.’ And that’s how we do it in the Bender house: just keeping it real, honest and going to God constantly.” —Julie Bender
Resources—Revisit the first part of Julie’s story: Julie Graham’s Untold Story Of Heartbreak, Healing And Hope – 101 —Revisit the second part of Julie’s story: From Widow To Wife, Julie’s Getting Married – 145 —Get the inside scoop on the dating scene Julie experienced: What Today’s Dating Scene Is Really Like – 094
Follow Us on Social Media!FacebookInstagram:@SmartLivingwithGritandGrace@ThisGritandGraceLifeTwitterPinterest#gritandgracelife
We lied!
In our last episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender signed off with a promise to return in September 2022 after Julie had her baby. Well, life happened, and This Grit and Grace Life’s return got pushed back to January. Better late than never, right? At least we’re starting off the new year with a bang!
In this episode, Darlene and Julie share some of the new changes happening behind the scenes at Grit and Grace Life and give a preview of this season’s upcoming podcast guests. We have a lot in store—you don’t want to miss it!
Quote of the episode:“There’s nothing we can do to control the circumstances around us, so we kind of decided to control what we could.” —Darlene Brock
ResourcesRevisit our previous New Year’s episodes:
—This Is How Carpe Diem Can Change Your 2021 – 154—New Year, Strong You! How to Reflect on Your Year in a Helpful Way – 114 —Finish the Year Strong, and Be Ready for the Next – 071
Check out some of our popular audio articles:
—Just Because She’s Pretty, Doesn’t Mean You’re Not —How to Find Your Worth In a Counterfeit World —Ask Dr. Zoe — Why Does God Refuse to Heal My Alcoholic Son?
Follow Us on Social Media!FacebookInstagram:@SmartLivingwithGritandGrace@ThisGritandGraceLifeTwitterPinterest#gritandgracelife
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