They Talk Sex

The God, Sex, and Rich People Episode Oct 28, 2024

Are you a current or former Christian still learning how to have guilt-free sex? Mattie Jo Cowsert is a recovering Evangelical who moved to New York City to find her husband - and then learned the world is bigger and more diverse than she had been raised to believe. Meet a shameless oversharer who wrote about her experiences with God, Sex, and Rich people.

3:00 evangelical and moved to NYC

7:00 sex and shame

10:00 rich people were unexpected

13:00 white, blue eyed woman privilege

18:00 where my Evangelicals at?

20:00 abuse dismissed as sin

25:00 jesus defended cheaters from death

29:00 further reading for hip Christians

34:00 what are “misogynist daywalkers”

37:00 how to give yourself permission to have good sex

41:00 disordered eating mention

44:00 on spirituality now

49:00 DOGMA was a weird movie

52:00 a confession from Mattie Jo

55:00 red flags

57:00 “sex ghosts” is a weird orgy

1:01:00 progress and pushing forward

1:06:00 have sex with people who respect you

Your host is ElleStanger.com

Your guest is MattieJoCowsert.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

GETTHELAYER.com - discrete waterproof sex blanket - use CODE ELLE for 10% off

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Soft Cock Episode Oct 21, 2024

What does penis health have to do with heart health? A lot! Erica Leroye was a teacher and a lover when a tragic death led her to a new calling: teaching people about penile health, and doing touch work around pleasure and healing. You’re invited to November’s ‘Soft Cock Week’, and listen here now to learn about the penis in its most common state: soft.

3:00 - this episode can save lives

8:00 - sex is outercourse and intercourse

12:00 - retrograde ejaculation and ED - common symptoms of undiagnosed diabetes

16:00 - go to the Genital Gym

19:00 - “you have to train for what you want to be good at”

22:00 - how do I help men tap into the erotic self?

25:00 - pleasure mapping

29:00 - her fave way to play with a softie

33:00 - what is Soft Cock week?

37:00 - what else can you learn?

42:00 - what to eat?

46:00 - create a scavenger hunt for a treat

49:00 - trouble with orgasm

52:00 - “is gooning bad?”

54:00 - disconnect between brain and penis

59:00 - fear of penis in medical systems

1:03:00 - am i normal?

VISIT and JOIN https://www.softcockweek.com/

Your guest can be found at https://www.softcockweek.com/soft-cock-blog/welcome-from-your-new-2024-hostess

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

GETTHELAYER.com - discrete waterproof sex blanket - use CODE ELLE for 10% off

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Stalking and Victim’s Advocate in Media Episode Sep 30, 2024

Lenora Claire was a business owner and public figure in Los Angeles before her stalker incidents led her to becoming a private investigator and media consultant. Learn how survivors and perpetrators of stalking can be handled smarter, by a person who teaches better practices for true-crime coverage.

2:00 - reality shows and progressive parents

5:00 - crime show producers don’t know how to treat survivors

7:00 - Batman and Superman to the rescue!

10:00 - why blocking isn’t always best

14:00 - risk assessment

18:00 - “what did you do to upset them?”

23:00 - her current work

25:00 - Private investigator things

28:00 - women producers and empathy

31:00 - British production companies doing it better

34:00 - treated like dogshit by cops when reporting

38:00 - how to help people open up?

41:00 - disclosure tips

45:00 - being judged on appearance

51:00 - what to NOT do to survivors in interview

56:00 - what is the guiding purpose of the media?

58:00 - a sex tip? Maybe :)

Your guest can be found at lenoraclairellc.com

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Working Guys Episode Sep 23, 2024

Jack Parker has been doing sex work since just before he was an adult, and he’s now a writer and publisher of an anthology of stories from other trans-masculine sex workers. Let’s talk about how queerphobia makes unique spaces and options for some working guys in the arts and adult industries.

3:00 sex work before 18, before public

7:00 making $4 an hour? WHAT

10:00 not enough options for advertising or undies

14:00 how to transition without them knowing?

17:00 any port in a storm

23:00 my favorite part is strange bookings

26:00 nightmare coworkers can make it hard

28:00 enjoyable client sex

32:00 age gaps with clients

36:00 clients objectifying us, their own insecurities

41:00 where to find the book!

45:00 how to find trans masc providers

50:00 targeting for homosexuality

54:00 criticisms of jack’s work

57:00 resources for more reading

Find your guest on JackViolet.com and @mxjackparker on all socials.

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Intimacy Coordinator and Film Episode Sep 02, 2024

If you’ve ever watched mainstream tv or movies with sex scenes in them, you can appreciate the people who make them look more realistic, while helping the performers be safest. Let’s talk with our guest Jamie Monahan, who works as an Intimacy Coordinator and Director.

3:00 #MeToo history

6:00 actors are taught to Say Yes

8:00 sexual alignment on film

11:00 there is a lack of lube in film

14:00 history behind intimacy coordinator

17:00 scenes that stuck in your mind

21:00 other memorable scenes

25:00 kissing on film

28:00 elle’s preference on oral sex visuals/contact

31:00 prosthetics are not common

35:00 more rules and regulations

40:00 the sounds of sex on film

45:00 don’t copy movies and that includes Titanic

49:00 have you ever mimicked a film?

54:00 SAG requirement to become IC

Your guest is at www.Jamiemonahan.com

IG/Facebook/X: @Jmemonahan

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sober Sex Work Episode Aug 26, 2024

Elizabeth Foreman works sober in New Orleans strip clubs these days. Here she shares her experience with sex work and sobriety which has given her insight, tactics and coping mechanisms while she continues to share her healing journey with others.

4:00 disclaimer - experiential and not academic

6:00 dancing instead of full-service

9:00 confusing laws around sw and trafficking

13:00 NOLA vs PDX stripper economics

17:00 how she got started in sobriety self-help

20:00 alcoholism in the family and the club

24:00 tips to not get drunk at the strip/club

27:00 check-ins reminders

29:00 AD - getthelayer.com - discount code ELLE

32:00 why do you use while working?

37:00 mental strain of sobriety

40:00 why we numb out or use it to enhance performance

48:00 practicing setting boundaries

54:00 don’t stop drinking abruptly

57:00 what happens when you stop drinking?

1:01:00 do you have the wrong prescription?

1:05:00 resource share

1:08:00 the downsides of AA

1:12:00 ADHD and sex tips, slow down

Tip Elizabeth for her sobriety help to CASHAPP $liz4mannola

For more self-help books mentioned in the episode: See this list by Raina LeGrand

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Purity Culture Drop-Out Episode Aug 19, 2024

Erica Smith is a sex educator specializing in purity culture trauma and recovery. Let’s talk about dealing with shame and some tips for better sexual health and lives.

4:00 a controversial event in 2000

7:00 working in abortion clinic, juvenile justice system

10:00 youth in sex work or experiencing trafficking

14:00 how purity culture relates to juvenile justice

17:00 the Army of God loves fake anthrax

20:00 sexually active teens

23:00 she who is without shame!

27:00 how to tell my partner I’m queer?

30:00 use your hands more

33:00 chronic health disclosures to partner?

37:00 herpes shaming, we hate it

40:00 purity culture grossness

43:00 social media and sex education

47:00 who is her clientele?

50:00 tradwife trend will have impacts later - @missgingerlocks on IG

53:00 confessions

57:00 sex advice

Find your guest at purityculturedropout.com

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexual Objectification Episode Aug 12, 2024

Have you ever been made to feel like an object instead of a person? Do you objectify others? What does objectification mean, how can we take our power back, make the best of it, or get off on it?

Let’s talk with Suzannah Weiss, author of “Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject”

2:00 See her live August 18th at Sanctuary club in Portland

6:00 growing breasts made people treat her differently

9:00 sexuality healed her disordered eating!

13:00 people being degrading at cam models

16:00 this economy making me do more

18:00 if a SW takes advantage!

21:00 examples of objectification from others

24:00 “I don’t do bareback with someone I just met”

28:00 former sex worker(?)

30:00 examples of objectification in language

33:00 Nina Menkes + film POV

36:00 we need to see what women desire, more often

39:00 it is a turn-on for me, being objectified

42:00 anxiety about fantasies in relationship

46:00 Stoya started hitachi reading!

50:00 less respect happens for escorts

55:00 work stress - stigma

59:00 examples, more

1:02:00 sex tips from suzannah and elle

Find your guest at SuzannahWeiss.com

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Psilocybin and Sexuality Episode Jul 29, 2024

How can intentional psilocybin use help people heal from big life events, or create a better understanding of theirselves? Let’s talk with “trauma queen” expert and educator Jimanekia Eborn.

4:00 policing to psychology

7:00 numbing vs pushing through

15:00 what has changed for you?

17:00 tripping tips

20:00 how did shrooms impact you?

23:00 AD - FeministTrash.com discount code STRIPPERWRITER

27:00 more advice for tripping

30:00 sensory play ideas

34:00 small vs big trauma

37:00 germ transfer overload

41:00 AD GetTheLayer.com - discount code ELLE

44:00 that medication might not work for you!

48:00 dating a survivor class

52:00 you're going inside, not outside

55:00 sex advice

Check out Cintima.co and find our guest on TraumaQueen.love

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Abortion Healthcare Episode Jul 23, 2024

What’s it like to go to a clinic to receive an abortion? Our guest has been escorting patients for years and talks about the science of medical abortion, care tips and how to advocate for yourself when you need one. Meet the Executive Director of Nebraska Healthcare Resource, Shelley Mann.

3:00 patient to clinic escort to executive director

6:00 why people need abortions

8:00 known as the abortion lady

12:00 pointless to argue with these people

15:00 why are you so obsessed with me?

18:00 AD: GetTheLayer.com - sex blanket!

20:00 how to tell my boyfriend I need an abortion?

23:00 find out as early as you can

25:00 TRAP laws and “cardiac activity”

28:00 more on clinics getting shut down

31:00 “late term abortion” is not a medical term

34:00 99% of abortions prior to 21 weeks

37:00 what can you do to prepare for an abortion?

40:00 how to care for yourself after?

43:00 what about a bad experience?

49:00 pregnancy and birth is 13.5x more deadly than legal abortion

53:00 www.plancpills.com, www.ineedana.com, www.abortionfunds.org

55:00 sex tip

Contact Info: 312-663-0338. www.neabortionresources.org.

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Amish Stripper Episode Jul 01, 2024

Naomi left the strict Amish at seventeen, and worked for twenty years in adult entertainment, and wrote an erotic memoir about that time. We talk about dating, parenting, boundaries and sex clubs.

1:00 raised as strict Amish, left at 17

4:00 literally pushed to audition by friends

10:00 financial advice from a coworker

14:00 the regret was having to hide it

18:00 online use

21:00 being OUT to family?

24:00 dark days and substance abuse

28:00 coercive partner sex

31:00 leaving the situation

33:00 parenting a kid now

37:00 I know that sex club!

40:00 everybody is different!

45:00 how to prevent sexual assault in small communities?

48:00 communication

53:00 try new things!

Find our guest @AmishInspiration on IG, TikTok
Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sex Work and Political Organizing Episode Jun 24, 2024

Miss Mei is a political organizer in Miami Florida and talks sex work, explains what can help prevent trafficking and police abuse, and gives tips on how to look for bad-actor organizations.

3:00 - a friend got her work doing threesomes to begin SW

6:00 - they prefer in-person work

9:00 Slutwalk helped lead to #MeToo

12:00 reclaiming the word Whore

15:00 Amber Rose did not invent Slutwalk

19:00 women’s spaces and nonbinary ppl

22:00 no arrests YET

26:00 when the client follows your Other Work

30:00 THEYTALK20 for 20% off MayerLabs.com condoms and lube

32:00 child labor laws in Florida

37:00 a long road ahead about record expungement

40:00 I grew up as a young whore

47:00 @ Jonni_qwest is a pal

50:00 In-fighting

54:00 “Sex Workers and the Left: Pass The Mic” Tryst.Link article

58:00 AOC endorsed anti-SW and homophobic organization NCOSE

1:01:00 “we cannot defeat what we cannot define”

1:04:00 should strippers be able to work at 18?

1:07:00 fibromyalgia and cops

Find our guest at @MultiverseOfMei on Twitter/X/IG

Find Decrim305.org

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Journalism and Sexuality Episode Jun 17, 2024

Mike Stabile is a journalist and documentary filmmaker and ol’ gay activist who has written about and advocated for sex workers and sexual speech for twenty years.

2:00 - I was an anonymous hand once

6:00 - why Twitter is relevant to free speech and liberties

8:00 - Polari - slang speak of gay sailors and sw’s

10:00 gay porn film history and Chuck Holmes

15:00 - what is KOSA and why should we hate it?

18:00 do u want the government to see your searches?

21:00 age verification doesn’t work

25:00 THEYTALK20 for 20% off MayerLabs.com

29:00 do journalists fear cops?

32:00 more fear about retribution?

35:00 why journalists are fooled by cop press releases

40:00 Tim Ballard and Operation Railroad is a scam

42:00 “ending modern slavery” is a red flag

46:00 protecting safety and privacy

49:00 if a journalist contacts you as a SW

53:00 GetTheLayer.com - ELLE code for 10% off

54:00 haters?

58:00 conspiracy theories AGAIN

1:02:00 be your own expert on your life

1:04:00 Lorelei Lee tweet (they/them)

Find our guest on: IG @fauxjob and Twitter/X @mikestabile and https://www.freespeechcoalition.com/staff

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Trauma Healing and Sex Therapy Episode 2 Jun 10, 2024

Born in India, neurodivergent, non monogamous, a New York sex therapist who loves sex-positive spaces, let’s talk healing with Nikita Fernandes MHC-LP and learn some healing tips for life and sex.

1:00 meet our guest

3:00 women’s gender studies classes were key to critical thinking

6:00 assimilation as a safety mechanism

9:00 tips for therapeutic movement

12:00 dance, hiking, kink, gym

15:00 medical issues

19:00 The People’s Book of Human Sexuality - Laureano

23:00 coping tips

26:00 more tension release tips

28:00 fantasies around sexual assault

40:00 needing to offload or share to others

43:00 what if I’m not responding to trauma?

50:00 DBT (dialectical behavior therapy)

55:00 partner jealousy and disclosure

58:00 working all the time makes healing harder

Find our guest on: healingwithnikita.com

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Pornographer and Cuckolding Episode Jun 03, 2024

He’s telling his life story besides the two random events that led to him working in the xxx industry as a Bull in the cuckold scene. “Thrash: “Penetrating the Business” author talks about filming and life.

4:00 Brickhouse Magazine

6:00 the pros of accessible technology

9:00 @brickhousemag on Twitter

13:00 there’s levels to it

18:00 THEYTALK20 for 20% off lube/condoms at MayerLabs.com

20:00 what is the best part of being a bull?

24:00 filming vs real life

29:00 a one man show on stage

33:00 GetTheLayer.com code ELLE for 10%

37:00 reflecting on the cuck episode

40:00 does Thrash have preferences?

43:00 trends in porn?

47:00 becoming ambivalent to porn

54:00 sex tips

Find our guest on:

IG @thrashculture23

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Internet Pornmaking Episode 3 May 27, 2024

Pomma is a xxx content creator who tirelessly informs followers on news, legislation, harm reduction practices, and hazards related to online sex work and adult industry work. Let's talk!

4:00 what kind of work?

7:00 money is tight for many

10:00 socialized to be performative as youth

13:00 banned from social media ooops

16:00 FOSTA SESTA

19:00 facial recognition and TSA

22:00 will this get me evicted?

27:00 when your beloved sugar daddy dies

30:00 the athletes of sex workers

35:00 thick models like London Andrews, Valentine Von Bettie

39:00 some advice for receiving shibari ties

42:00 please do not ask to meet us while on paysites

48:00 STRIPPERWRITER 20% OFF FeministTrash.com

50:00 UNICEF supported bad legislation FOSTA and SESTA

54:00 law enforcement raiding Backpage.com owners

57:00 Decrim305, Cupcake Girls, SWOPBehindBars.org

1:00:00 organizations we like

1:03:00 sex tips for our audience?

Find our guest on:

IG: @onlypomma @notonlypomma
Twitter: Succubusluut
Tiktok: Juicypomma2.0 and LeaveJuicyPommaAlone

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Penis Augmentation Episode May 20, 2024

His nickname is The Dick Whisperer and he’s spent years perfecting his penis-injections services and science: Meet the founder of PhalloFill . Let’s talk about why some men want to augment theirselves and why you should always follow post-procedure advice!

3:00 - hair removal and penis augmentation

4:00 - the P shot began

7:00 porn, peer comparison, indirect teasing

11:00 how to talk to youth about media

14:00 confidence in the workplace

18:00 let’s talk about complication rates

21:00 increase in sensitivity

25:00 what is Hyaluronic acid?

28:00 explaining the filler and amount

31:00 Phalloboards.info - forum

34:00 he’s the penis master

38:00 more science on filler

41:00 what is fascia?

46:00 example patient who needed a fixjob

52:00 discussing costs

55:00 width vs girth

Find them on PHALLOFILL.com

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexuality and Sports Episode May 13, 2024

She’s a model, full contact fighter and martial arts instructor, genderfluid princess and more: lets meet Sybilla Bakzaza.

3:00 martial arts, baseball, football, sailing, relay racing, US NAVY

5:00 a commentary on Marine culture or US Navy

8:00 (devil dock is a penis joke)

9:00 cross-dressing as an entry

12:00 American assimilation

18:00 what can suck about gym environments

22:00 she has a team of Hulks on her side

25:00 how to screen employers/venues?

29:00 advice on showing up as trans in cis spaces?

32:00 you gotta project confidence

34:00 red flags for clients

39:00 on bullying in the workplace

43:00 what is your support network?

49:00 perception is more powerful than truth sometimes

53:00 some people are only as good/bad as their commanders

55:00 sex tips!

59:00 some inspo and support from our guest

Meet our guest on TikTok, OF, and Twitter and

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Masturbation and Sexuality Episode May 06, 2024

Let’s explore the history behind masturbation misinformation, pseudoscience and shaming, with clinical psychologist and author Dr Eric Sprankle.

3:00 how he got here

7:00 a vast conspiracy to teach education (elle has worked with PH tho)

10:00 history repeating on anti-porn

13:00 misinformation is the same

16:00 exploring negative online comments

20:00 be a man - destroy your lungs

23:00 how do people feel about the word?

27:00 does ejaculation impact hormone levels?

32:00 what do “sex rehab programs” look like?

36:00 how can masturbation be harmful?

38:00 chemical castration

40:00 high libido does not equal offensive behavior

45:00 sperm vs semen vs female ejaculate

48:00 more about ejaculate fluid

51:00 events causing shame

56:00 online communities and hate groups

1:01:00 white genocide conspiracy

1:06:00 a cute childhood anecdote

1:09:00 Dr Drew - how could you?!?

Visit our guest at DrSprankle.com

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Cuckolding and Dominatrix Episode Oct 30, 2023

Our last episode of this season and O what fun - let’s talk cuckolding! Join Mistress Elle for a chat with her favorite cuckold and hear how he discovered his kinky lifestyle, how he interacts most ethically with the women he worships, and please enjoy some of our funny stories, too.

3:00 how he finds women to worship

5:00 a catholic priest client - Lady Vi

8:00 legal and artistic aid for a friend

10:00 scrotal piercings for a leash

11:00 Mickey Mod and Mistress Gia DeMarco

13:00 first anal cream pie

14:00 Mistress Sandi in Montreal

16:00 his first ever cucking appointment - Mistress January Seraph

21:00 there’s a lot of cum soon

25:00 moral of the story is be yourself

29:00 what’s the best part?

33:00 beneath a woman and helping her

36:00 how to protect yourself from scammers?

39:00 losing friends over it?

43:00 am I gay or less of a man?

47:00 economic impacts?

52:00 Americans are more taboo about sharing

55:00 Shoutout to his Doms

59:00 honored to be the first

Find your host Ellestanger.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Promo code 20TALKSWIRL on Amazon for 20% off through November 28th - Kimono Swirl Condoms

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

20TALKSWIRL2 for 20% off our suite of Swirl products on Amazon now until November 30th.

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Herpes and Relationships Episode 2 Oct 23, 2023

We catch up with our fave herpes educator Courtney Brame for some updates and additional facts about a common virus that many of us live with, and Elle had new experience with. Let’s talk herpes again!

1:00 he gets more topless-views

3:00 a big herpes survey

7:00 clinically massive outbreak

11:00 sex workers + herpes

14:00 consented to not using barriers

17:00 sexual infidelity is a possibility

21:00 herpes location vs Type 1 or 2

23:00 why do lab tests during outbreak?

26:00 20TALKSWIRL2

29:00 sex toy snafu, unrelated

32:00 what is a “normal length” outbreak

36:00 May 2024 results survey + St Louis MO

40:00 how might one get herpes?

43:00 can you get tested without an outbreak?

47:00 sex as a polyam person

51:00 Courtney got a sex toy too small

54:00 jolihamilton.com

58:00 a Feeld app match gone awry

1:03:00 saying no to sex

1:06:00 $2.45Million lawsuit about herpes transmission

1:15:00 elle0ellepdx on TT

Find your guest on SPFPP.ORG

Find your host Ellestanger.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Promo code 20TALKSWIRL on Amazon for 20% off through November 28th - Kimono Swirl Condoms

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

20TALKSWIRL2 for 20% off our suite of Swirl products on Amazon now until November 30th.

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sex Work and Trauma Healing Episode Oct 16, 2023

A traumatic attack caused our guest to reframe how she was living her one life. She’s now chosen to work as an erotica writer, a legal courtesan in a nevada brothel, and she’s here to talk about making positive connections between mind-body healing and sex work.

2:00 gang bang playwriting

4:00 a traumatic event showed a bird’s eye view of life

7:00 surviving the home invasion assault

10:00 find her at the brothel

14:00 be a nun or get married at 16, literally

20:00 how to screen for clients

23:00 sexting advice

27:00 learn to see the strange as familiar

32:00 on being called “old” now

40:00 a sexy oracle reading

43:00 feel it to heal it

46:00 catholic guilt in the inbox

53:00 empowerment is the underlying theme

55:00 how AI writing scares us

58:00 more sex advice

Find our guest on OnlyFans.com/GoodassGoddess

Find your host Ellestanger.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Promo code 20TALKSWIRL on Amazon for 20% off through November 28th - Kimono Swirl Condoms

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Lesbian Pornmaker Episode Oct 09, 2023

She’s been a top lesbian content creator on Youtube for a decade, now learn what’s next for Bria Kam after years of growing with her audience, and being part of the first successful UK revenge porn lawsuit. We talk love, strapons, and web work!

1:00 how we met

4:00 on making our own porn

7:00 on being “Mommy”

10:00 how did you start filming?

14:00 they won the first ever UK revenge porn lawsuit

17:00 Pamela anderson was done dirty

22:00 only one of us likes sucking D

25:00 advice for people who make X media?

29:00 dating polyam and monogs

34:00 direct porn sales?

38:00 web searching “lesbian porn”

41:00 what kind of porn does Elle watch?

44:00 yes I can orgasm from penetration oooo

49:00 what is your top kink?

53:00 a new hope for love after a breakup

Find our guest on OnlyFans.com/BriaKam

Find your host Ellestanger.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Trans Healthcare Episode Oct 02, 2023

Have you ever seen healthcare providers who have no idea what you are experiencing personally? Lucie Fielding is a therapist, sex educator and writer who saw the gaps in healthcare and the biases against trans people by their providers, and works to share info and insight about better clinical approaches to trans sexuality.

2:00 a clarifying anger

6:00 I want clients/people to feel lovable

9:00 psychoanalysis was designed to be intensive

13:00 what does Yes and No feel like in the body?

17:00 “these poor people”

20:00 what is anti-trans sensationalism

23:00 how people are misled to believe transphobia

28:00 what is muffing?

31:00 balls and labia are homologous tissue

35:00 https://fuckingtranswomen.org/

37:00 what are puberty blockers?

40:00 kids choosing their own identity prevents self harm

44:00 “ambivalence is essential to the change process”

47:00 top surgery and boob jobs

52:00 I need help with asking how to name their parts!

55:00 how do we name our parts?

59:00 what is Project 2025?

1:05:00 what’s next for Lucie?

Find our guest LucieFielding.com

Find your host Ellestanger.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Weird History and Sexuality Episode Sep 25, 2023

Let’s explore Oregon and and particularly Old Town Portland, which has its roots in racism, beer, gambling and sex work, and predatory policing. This city truly was built by alcoholics and hustlers: Let’s talk ghosts of old-timey Oregon with Weird History Podcast Host and author, Joe Streckert.

3:00 why weird history is important

8:00 tour guide in Portland

11:00 a brief history of Vanport, Oregon

14:00 early Portland history demographics

17:00 beer and gambling and sw

19:00 why is Oregon so white and covertly racist?

23:00 Oro Fino Saloon and enforcement against sex work

26:00 why factory-working women also did SW

29:00 policing and sex work

32:00 Nita Belles is a modern day Lola Baldwin

35:00 psychics, bowling, shooting galleries were targeted by cops too

38:00 Chinese business owners and respectability politics

41:00 Marie Equi and birth control and lesbianism

44:00 a note on eugenics and early birth control

47:00 prostitution and “green” attitudes

51:00 why are Oregon clubs so different from neighboring states?

55:00 all old downtown buildings may have been used as brothels or rooms

58:00 the myth(?) of Nancy Boggs and the floating brothel

1:06:00 QAnon is like early century white saviorism

Find your guest on JoeStreckert.com and WeirdHistoryPodcast.com

Find your host Ellestanger.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Use promo code 20TALKSWIRL on Amazon through October 31st for Kimono Swirl Condoms.

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Brothelkeeping Episode Sep 18, 2023

Bella Cummins has owned her Nevada brothel for thirty-seven years and talks about venue management, what the regulations are like, and how to create a safer and more fun environment for everyone..

1:00 beginning the day at the brothel

3:00 administrative and staff training

5:00 only cis women working here at this time

7:00 decrim vs legalization discussion

10:00 clarification on decriminalization in NZ

14:00 safer working in brothels than outcall

17:00 discounts to Utah residents!

21:00 laundry is important at the brothel

25:00 is this a calling for you?

28:00 how staff can be proactive

33:00 process for business approval by police and city

36:00 law enforcement regulation

41:00 condoms used to be way thicker

46:00 deadname and origin story

49:00 more legal distinctions

54:00 why discounted rates for Utah?

58:00 more on regulated work

1:00:00 sex advice

Find our guest on Bellas.Us

Find your host Ellestanger.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Ask Us Anything - Sex Educator Edition Sep 04, 2023

Do you have sex questions? She’s a Black sex educator who advocates for HIV prevention, sex toy exploration and straightforward communication: Ashley Cobb from Atlanta, Georgia offers straightforward and candid input on common questions about anal sex, penis size, and more.

1:00 began teaching sex ed in 2015

5:00 she thinks redheads are cute

9:00 38 vs early 20’s

11:00 pRep for Black women

14:00 raw sex equals pregnancy or STIs

17:00 syphilis and COVID going up why?

21:00 why to have sex before you get married

24:00 why insecure men might prefer sexually inexperienced women

27:00 how often should I get screened?

31:00 when one of you wants to have sex more often

34:00 ways to be intimate without PIV

37:00 ethical porn discussion

42:00 more anal tips for newbies

45:00 small penis tips and use your hands

48:00 on “sex-negative feminism”

53:00 Somaya Critchlow art discussion

56:00 what’s next for her?

Find out guest on IG @sexwithashley

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Dominatrix Episode Aug 28, 2023

She’s a self-taught therapeutic dominatrix and touch provider, who specializes in helping people play and explore boundaries and kinks. Meet Lara the Divine Theratrix and learn about what it’s like to explore feeling big, small, and primal.

3:00 therapeutic approaches to hands-on work

6:00 autism and body language learning

9:00 Dr Stewart Brown - on play and communication

14:00 protection from obsession

19:00 humans are animals

22:00 being fluid and changing

26:00 creative Safewords

30:00 special interests are so important

36:00 JoyClub, Beducated, Fetlife

41:00 discrimination against dominatrix by doordash

44:00 sex workers rights and SWUnionUK

47:00 examples of worker controls or protections

52:00 examples of types of play

54:00 play makes life worth living

Find our guest on DivineTheratrix.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The BoySlut Episode Aug 21, 2023

Let’s talk about male bisexuality, biphobia, role-modeling mental health and have a raunchy, fun time with Zachary Zane. He’s an advice writer and the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto.

1:00 a book about bisexuality and shame

3:00 having OCD as a child and now

6:00 mental health and spirituality

10:00 bisexuality and stigma

13:00 not enjoying sex due to stress

16:00 a darn good therapist session

20:00 how do you role model healthy male sexuality?

25:00 tips on coming out to family members

28:00 more discussion on this ^

31:00 how to address my gf’s biphobia

34:00 Bi-Men, By Women book

38:00 if they aren’t 100% enthusiastic, maybe avoid them

42:00 real non-fiction erotica stories

46:00 theragun in the butt story

49:00 Boyslut things and projects

52:00 cancel culture vs call-ins

55:00 any sex tips for our audience?

Find our guest on ZacharyZane.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sex Work and Relationships Episode Aug 14, 2023

What are your personal ethics around sex work and matrimony? Why do some people share their interactions with spouses and other people hide them? How to support your partner in sex work? Is it cheating to pay for services? Let’s discuss this with a happily married sex worker, Jessie Sage.

1:00 a spicy viral twitter post

4:00 cancer, and caregiver roles

7:00 what work she’s done in sex

10:00 feedback from her clients

14:00 a public-facing nonbinary spouse

18:00 on blaming the sex worker

22:00 oral sex or we aren’t getting married

26:00 helping sex lives of other spouses

29:00 disclosing to your family that you’re dating a sex worker

34:00 keep it simple and name what is happening

39:00 besties who get weird around SW

44:00 outsiders and misunderstanding

48:00 addressing their shame

51:00 how to be a supportive partner article

56:00 @thotscholar, Lorelei Lee writing recommendation

Find our guest on JessieSage.com and Cybelerain.com

Twitter.com/Saptiotextual

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The ADHD and Sexuality Episode Aug 07, 2023

Who else has ADHD? Our guest noticed a lack of sexuality-related info for people with attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder. For two decades he has served people who need help with dating, sex, self-care and relating. Let’s learn and laugh with therapist and author Ari Tuckman.

3:00 he wrote the books because there was a lack of help for ADHD-ers

5:00 a lot of mental health and medical pros have little or no sex education

7:00 he gravitates to people with ADHD

10:00 how does ADHD make dating hard for you?

14:00 more examples

19:00 people-pleasing behaviors

25:00 maintaining interest after novelty wanes

30:00 ADHD and staying in the mood

34:00 moving on after oopsies

37:00 other tips for re-directing your attention

41:00 more ways that ADHD can show up during sex

44:00 one study about ADHD people and sex

49:00 quirky can be charming or annoying, truly

55:00 medication and sleep question

Find our guest on AdultADHDbook.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Surrogate Partner Therapy Episode 2 Jul 31, 2023

Why do some people pay others to teach them how to be sexual and intimate? Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brandon of AmpersandIntimacy expands on our previous episode about surrogate partner therapy, and the benefits and barriers to these treatments.

3:00 gaming and play, kink and sex

6:00 previously he was a clinician

9:00 on people who aren’t listening to my boundaries

13:00 who his clients typically are

16:00 on why people pay for sexual touch

22:00 not being distracted or disturbed

24:00 hygiene requests

27:00 scheduled sex for couples

29:00 on over-regulation

33:00 client-rejection

37:00 being mean to push me away

41:00 sex therapy is historically for white hetero men

46:00 what is Upnegotiating and how to avoid it?

48:00 some people test things

52:00 tell me your boundaries PLZ

58:00 sex tips

View our guest at ampersandintimacy.com

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Stripping and Sexuality Episode Jul 24, 2023

Let’s talk with Leilah of A Stripper’s Guide about privacy issues and safety, queerness at the stripclub, and listen as she gives tips on setting boundaries and maintaining a healthier relationship with partners and self.

3:00 she works night shifts for a few reasons

7:00 curious but condescending

10:00 plz don’t ask her about her sex life

12:00 “gold star lesbian” discussion

15:00 on the asexuality spectrum: demisexual

18:00 artificial intelligence

24:00 feeling shame vs seeking privacy

28:00 I identify with the slutty-looking girl

33:00 private about her sex life

37:00 on sounding polite while setting boundaries

42:00 image impacting income

45:00 on seeming available

47:00 non-sexual methods of partner bonding

53:00 on feeling touched-out

1:00:00 book recommendations

Find our guest at astrippersguide.com and IG @asg.headquarters

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Spirituality and Sexuality Episode 2 Jul 17, 2023

How does spirituality and sexuality relate? It depends on who you are and what you believe. For this episode we talk sex and spells with guest Serena the Blessed who is a Black, Indigenous, Jewish trans-femme tarot reader and magic-maker in Portland, Oregon.

3:00 how magic works

6:00 OYE ancestors and priesthood family

10:00 “Black” magic and Hoodoo and Voodoo, Santeria

13:00 Yoruba origins of “queen”

16:00 gay culture can be different than queer culture

21:00 all oppression is connected

23:00 more genders than two were common

29:00 Hoodoo and Voodoo work

33:00 her offerings

40:00 in what ways can I practice spiritual sexuality

45:00 on masking identity

50:00 seduction vs shining brightly

57:00 counseling and spirituality for Black Americans

1:04:00 white people can be poisonous

1:11:00 Third Eye Books and Cally’s Hot Wigs

Find our guest on IG @serenatheblessed

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Silver Sexuality and Sex Work Episode Jul 10, 2023

Let’s talk about aging and sexuality with an elder provider and playwright. Charla Hathaway became “a whore at fifty-four”, and she shares some things she’s learned.

3:00 starting her life over at fifty-four

6:00 anal play table-turning

9:00 Joseph Kramer on body healing

11:00 on the term “prostitute”

16:00 expert level hustling mastery

20:00 how to lead an erotic session

25:00 backlash

29:00 body changes and adapting sexual practices

34:00 older guys want intimacy too

37:00 breathing reminders

42:00 how to lead an erotic session 2

46:00 men being taught to receive

51:00 she has a September show coming up

54:00 things to reflect on?

57:00 the body is a temple

Find our guest at charlahathaway.com

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexuality and Cancel Culture Episode Jun 26, 2023

How does social standing relate to sexuality and dating? Have you ever been ostracized for reasons unclear, or been targeted in a smear campaign? Licensed counselor Halle Thomas joins me to discuss the complex issues and impacts of cancel-bullying.

2:00 former Catholic, queer and Creole

4:00 writing about shame

6:00 grief, racial and sexual identity and relational problems

9:00 originated in Black queer spaces

12:00 elle hates it when people lie about abuse

18:00 cancel-bullying is a suicide risk

21:00 obsessive behavior and unhealthy impacts

25:00 RSD - rejection sensitivity dysphoria

29:00 Elle hits pregnant strippers, pass it on

31:00 making people houseless for “justice”

38:00 how to recognize people that aim to be destructive

42:00 stalking and violence and victim’s gender

45:00 when you’re being targeted

54:00 definition of fighting

57:00 identifying friends who exaggerate claims against them

1:01:00 impact vs intent

1:06:00 Bebe Montoya, Africa Brooke, Juniper Cameryn, Clementine Morrigan, Jay Lesoleil - cancellation resources

1:10:00 life after cancellation

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Follow our guest on IG @chicorycounseling and

chicorycounseling.com

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Aqua Lube– 20AQUALUBE takes 20% off your lube purchase through June 27th.

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexuality and Pornmaker Episode Jun 19, 2023

She came, she saw, she conquered pornmaking and media: meet Joanna Angel and learn what her work and married life is like as a longtime porn icon of our generation. We have jokes and marketing advice!

1:00 on feature-dancing and stripclub work

4:00 she works in marketing

8:00 started stripping to pay for her porn site

11:00 a golden era of stripping

14:00 the hottest people don’t make the most

17:00 monogamy and porn work

21:00 jealousy and business and work

24:00 what do the fans say?

29:00 the heyday of gonzo porn

32:00 creating a niche kink

36:00 self care and interests

39:00 how to deal with haters and negativity

43:00 younger people innovating porn now

45:00 sex work is not for everyone

49:00 what’s next for Joanna?

52:00 save your money and live your life

55:00 sex tip from a porn queen

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Follow our guest on IG @ joannaangel

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Aqua Lube– 20AQUALUBE takes 20% off your lube purchase through June 27th.

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Autism and Sexuality Episode Jun 12, 2023

What’s it like for Stoney Faye to be an autistic stripper and parent? Let’s talk about the intersections of disability and sex work, and swap some ridiculous hustle tales.

2:00 disability acceptance

5:00 heightened sensitivities

8:00 on being canceled

10:00 on being a sugar baby

13:00 echolalia and decriminalization of sex work

16:00 not naturally feeling close to people

21:00 sensory stuff and sex

24:00 our libidos are very different but orientations are not

29:00 our fave customer in common

33:00 nerve endings and genitals

36:00 I hate kissing most people

41:00 people who don’t yet know they are autistic

45:00 on hidden queerness

49:00 exploring identity as an adult

51:00 stimming and self-hitting

57:00 detaching from social norms

1:00:00 men dating women (or others) who out-earn them

1:03:00 an autistic friend for the end of the world

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Follow our guest on IG @ fairyst0ned_

Subscribe to our guest at Allmylinks.com/stoneyfaye

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Kimono MicroThin XL – use code 20MICROXL on Amazon for 20% off your Kimono purchase through June 27th.

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sex Work in Film Episode Jun 05, 2023

Let’s speak to Aja Corynn who made the documentary film “Pleasers”. Our guest applies her anthropological background and creative lenses to her experiences as a stripper; Let’s talk stripclubs, relationships, retirement and media.

1:00 anthropologist and former stripper

2:00 why she quit

6:00 California Girls in Anaheim, Deja Vu in Hollywood

10:00 “Black and kinky” NY dominatrixes

14:00 I’m inside looking around

17:00 on survival sex work vs empowerment

22:00 mandatory tipout

27:00 don’t write about strippers if you aren’t one

31:00 racism and in Vegas

36:00 on the good things

40:00 technology replacing strippers?

46:00 bad managerial practices

51:00 on AB5 in CA and employee status

54:00 camaraderie

58:00 don’t settle

Find our guest on IG @AjaCorynn & @pleasersseries

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Kimono Microthin Plus Condoms - use code 20MICROAQUA on Amazon for 20% off your Kimono purchase through June 27th

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The StripClub and Security Episode May 29, 2023

Nate Hazen is a certified bouncer in the state of Oregon and works in downtown Portland. Meet your host’s coworker and listen as we swap stories and tips on how to be safer and more fun as a patron of the adult entertainment industries.

2:00 could you work in a strip club with the lights and loud music?

6:00 felons, veterans, and foster system kids

9:00 de-escalation and working downtown Portland

12:00 on men who shouldn’t be bouncers

15:00 some people have intent to be malicious

22:00 basic etiquette for beginners and all

25:00 don’t come in the club w/o money

28:00 on no-touching rules

31:00 DTF = down to fuck, btw

35:00 on tip-out being unfair

40:00 where my dogs at?

44:00 maybe a tv show about portland strippers?

48:00 death and grief in the industry

53:00 on being street smart and vigilant

57:00 don’t hit on the dancers when you work with them

1:00:00 pay attention to when you feel shame

——————

Find your guest on IG @natehazen and @stripcitytv

Find your guest’s OF on onlyfans.com/johnny_banana

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @elle_stanger @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Kimono Microthin Condoms - use 20MICROTHIN for 20% off your AMAZON purchase before June 27th, ‘23

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Disability and Sexuality Episode May 22, 2023

How might one person manage their co-occurring chronic illnesses and disabilities, and have a fulfilling sex life? Meet Katherine Harlow the Park Avenue Pinup and discover how she strategizes her health, pleasure, and functioning. Learn some care tips and disability advocacy with us.

2:00 endometriosis, pelvic floor disorder, narcolepsy, Autism, PTSD

5:00 70% of people with pelvic floor dysfunction have TMJ

7:00 tips for self care and immune system support

9:00 some of us wanted to be adult entertainers

12:00 cis men have been born with endometriosis too

15:00 strategy around chronic pain

18:00 vaginismus is a symptom of larger pelvic floor dysfunction

22:00 “admin drain” - @invalidart

25:00 more feedback on invisible disability

28:00 disabled people are accused of lying

31:00 self-advocacy and interviewing doctors

33:00 how can partners help?

37:00 tips for managing pain

40:00 she’s on the same sexting app as your host

45:00 Andew Gurza resources

49:00 queer and trans people are more likely to be disabled

53:00 burlesque is not sex work, true

55:00 more resources like Mia Mingus, @itswalela

Sponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.

Find our guest on theparkavenuepinup.com

Find your host on ellestanger.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexuality and Catholicism Episode May 14, 2023

What might healthy spirituality and sexuality look like for Catholics? Let’s meet Sister Shannon who specializes in pleasure and shame-less education and self help for her online audiences, and opposition to her work.

1:00 she’s been deactivated online 3x

3:00 sexual support for Catholics: there is a need

6:00 common questions: masturbation, family shame

9:00 imagine Mother Mary as a single mother

12:00 How do folks relate to Catholicism and sexuality?

15:00 “widen your knees” instead of “spread your legs”

17:00 The Old Testament had erotica in it! “Song of songs”

22:00 Sister Shannon’s current best contact info is hello@catholixwhohavesex.com

25:00 the church does not let gay people get married or women be priests - don’t beg the hierarchy

26:00 God is non-binary?

30:00 who is reporting Shannon’s IG online?

34:00 Mary Magdalene wasn’t a sex worker, sorry

37:00 abstinence “education” results in a lot of shame and guilt

40:00 bad experiences motivated Elle to find better ones

45:00 Richard Rohr, Lavonne Briggs

49:00 God probably doesn’t care if you have multiple sexual partners

52:00 this show can be surprisingly unsexy :)

55:00 does God approve of Jesus-memes?

Find Shannon on IG @ItsSisterShannon or @Sister.Shannon

Sponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.

Find your host on ellestanger.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Androgyny and Masculinity Episode May 08, 2023

Tom-boys, dykes, butch females, masc4masc, men, and more: how do nonbinary , cis men, and masculine-leaning people experience our world? It’s a spectrum of intersectionality! We speak with one person about gender, licensed sex therapist Grace Ballard.

2:00 Classic psychotherapy vs Buddhist psychotherapy

4:00 some people love to be disruptive to others

8:00 on OCSB (out-of control sexual behavior)

13:00 playful, competitive, aggressive, touching = the gym

16:00 legitimacy in the workplace

19:00 work clothing is performative

21:00 how do you express your gender?

25:00 how does Elle express femininity for swork?

29:00 on gender and power play

33:00 masc people report boundary pushing too

37:00 on street harassment

40:00 take a woman-centered approach?

43:00 on sexual functioning for men

47:00 men and women need each other

53:00 demonizing masculinity prevents people from being truly healthy

55:00 homophobia robs men of healthy touch

59:00 diversify your touch

1:03:00 break all the fashion rules

1:06:00 resources: Doug Braun-Harvey, Liz Plank and more

Sponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find our guest at graceballard.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Curvy Sex and Pornmaker Episode May 01, 2023

April Flores is an award winning pornmaker with almost two decades of years of experience and knowledge about the adult film industries. We talk sex, dating, and grief. Listen to her!

3:00 “Fat Girl” photo art book in 2013

6:00 on being approached by Belladonna

9:00 the actual sex part is a small part

13:00 on having fake answers for real questions

16:00 on rigorous STI screening for pornmakers

18:00 on her late husband Carlos Batts

22:00 it’s a mindfuck, death

26:00 on fandom from former teenagers (adults)

31:00 praise kinks vs baseline respect

35:00 the importance of other SW friends

39:00 on aging as a performer

42:00 screening dates as a performer

46:00 a ghostly protector

48:00 toy tips for bigger bodies

52:00 NY vs LA dating

58:00 on studying fat pornography

1:03:00 “people wanna see my lonjas”

1:07:00 on working with friends

Find April on onlyfans.com/theaprilflores

Find your host on ellestanger.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com now: research based non-monogamy resources.

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexual Freedoms Episode 2 Nov 13, 2022

Do you want to understand what human rights are at risk in the United States? How is social media censorship linked to facsism and reproductive care? How to identify bogus organizations that lie with well-framed media campaigns? Listen to Woodhull Freedom Foundation folks Ricci Levy and Mandy Salley, and enjoy our last episode of this season. See you in 2023!

3:00 what is Woodhull Freedom Foundation?

6:00 incarcerated women shackled while in labor

9:00 attacks on human rights in the US

12:00 Governor Abott in Texas sucks so bad

15:00 government overreach and intended consequences

18:00 how to identify anti-advocacy groups

21:00 it is vitally important to vote

25:00 on framing messages to mislead

29:00 on life less safe

33:00 Meta allows harm language, not arousal language

37:00 AI searches for CSAM but broadly

40:00 shadowbanning makes people poorer

44:00 impacts on libraries, schools, disabilities

48:00 how to discover if an org is unethical?

54:00 WFF is not as impacted online

1:02:00 when AI goes bad

1:07:00 resources for sexual freedom

www.woodhullfoundation.org

@WoodhullFreedom on all social media platforms

@Mandy_Farsace on Twitter

@RicciLevy onTwitter

*Thanks to our sponsor Beducated.com - get 40% off courses and sex ed and pleasure videos and practice sheets, with code: http://beducate.me/pd2244-elle

The Sexology and Therapy Episode Nov 07, 2022

Our guest is a non-judgemental therapy intern, sometimes-sex worker, cannabis educator, and sexuality educator. Danielle Simpson-Baker’s work is for couples and singles, and we offer practical advice for people trying to manage and repair relationship conflicts.

3:00 therapy, sexology, cannabis education and sw

6:00 whorephobia in academia and how we are fighting it

9:00 experience in full-service, with privilege

13:00 representation as a Black woman

16:00 things ppl don’t want to tell their therapist YET

20:00 more therapist-shaming, on cannabis and porn

27:00 how to reconnect after a partner-conflict?

30:00 on non-sexual bonding first, after a conflict

33:00 how to help a partner with shame

36:00 porn and comedians perpetuate false messages

39:00 sensate focus therapy practice

43:00 on grief and sexuality

45:00 feeling guilty about pleasure after a death

48:00 talking about a taboo desire

52:00 hate mail can be hilarious

56:00 on privilege despite doing illegal sex work

59:00 “turning toward” makes better relationships

1:02:00 @cptsdwhisperer is nonbinary, to clarify

1:06:00 Dr Lex Brown - resource + recommendation

1:09:00 on going down

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at sexpottherapyllc.com

*Thanks to our sponsor Beducated.com - get 40% off courses and sex ed and pleasure videos and practice sheets, with code: http://beducate.me/pd2244-elle

The Pegging Book Episode Oct 30, 2022

Let’s talk about anal penetration with a strap-on! History, meaning and context around a popular and hot-button activity, enjoyed by people of all genders and orientations and identities. The Pegging Book co-author joins me to talk about butt stuff.

3:00 why write this book

7:00 Marquis de Sade was a revolutionary sicko

11:00 Luna Matatas coined “peg the patriarchy”

15:00 queer opposition

19:00 Mistress may I suck your c*ck?

23:00 clean butt tips

27:00 silicone lube tricks

31:00 consensual injury desire?

35:00 no coercion plz

40:00 how else should I prep?

42:00 black nitrile gloves rule

46:00 back up on it instead

52:00 Carol Queen and Bend Over Boyfriend

55:00 toolshedtoys.com

58:00 communication and lubrication

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at thepeggingbook.com

*Thanks to our sponsor Beducated.com - get 40% off courses and sex ed and pleasure videos and practice sheets, with code: http://beducate.me/pd2244-elle

The Anti-Sex Trafficking Episode 2 Oct 23, 2022

Camille* was a college kid who met a man that changed her life in a very bad way, and she tells how manipulation, isolation, and physical abuse entrapped her into being forced to work sex, and illegally. She’s free now and pursuing a new life, and justice.

4:00 child sexual abuse mention

7:00 traphouses aren’t cool

10:00 on being isolated

13:00 the Starbucks incident

17:00 no debit card, no phone privacy

20:00 leaving a social media trail

23:00 the FBI contacted her

26:00 hospital disclosure

28:00 “elevating out of the game” is BS

33:00 more brainwashing and isolation

35:00 a police arrest in Los Angeles

37:00 on “ride or die”

42:00 victim blaming about rape

45:00 she finally escaped after two years

48:00 not all pimps are bad, she says

51:00 if you can sell twat, you can sell food

55:00 consent is the difference in work vs trafficking

57:00 on learning boundaries and trust

1:01:00 how to support survivors and sworkers

1:05:00 anti-trafficking orgs are a roof but not resources

1:10:00 on making attachment to people

1:14:00 spit on it

1:17:00 show love if you want to help

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

The Vaginal Health and Irritation Episode Oct 17, 2022

Does the stuff you bought at the grocery store burn your genitals? Ever forgotten a tampon up there? Learn some tips for vulva and vaginal health, and hear why Momotaro Apotheca started making their own preventative-and-healing products.

1:00 for irritation and infections

4:00 the hot spring incident

7:00 monistat and vagisil can mess you up

10:00 challenges to developing vulva/vaginal care products

13:00 the stripper pole isn’t safe either - in terms of germs

15:00 condoms break, Ass-to-vag happens, nobody’s “perfect”

18:00 do not use Summer’s Eve

21:00 what vaginal issues do YOU deal with?

24:00 wash your damn hands

27:00 ever forgot a tampon up there?

31:00 can you tell your partner?

35:00 do you also check your scent?

38:00 a Napoleon Dynamite reference - really

41:00 is douching safe?

45:00 why does monistat (or anything) burn?

49:00 I dont wanna think about my vaginal health

53:00 what does “odor protection” mean?

56:00 what does your pussy smell like?

59:00 the vagina is acidic too

1:02:00 not just for “women”

1:05:00 find the people that you trust

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at momotaroapotheca.com

The Anxiety and Non-Monogamy Episode Oct 10, 2022

We take another dive into discussing common barriers to communication and relationship security with writer Lola Phoenix, who has been navigating this for theirself and others online and IRL for years.

2:00 a lot of common questions

5:00 power dynamics

8:00 on being protective of the community

10:00 what are your biggest challenges with non-monogamy?

14:00 disagreement doesn’t have to be scary

17:00 forgive yourself for being afraid of abandonment

22:00 attention helps us to survive

25:00 I will grow my own life regardless of you

27:00 what is an anchor? A personal reason for doing

32:00 is being primary the most fun?

36:00 we are primed for monogamy

39:00 personal preference is not the rule

42:00 jealousy regarding sleepovers/sex

46:00 i don’t need to hear the details for you to have fun

50:00 red flags vs irrational

53:00 women have to look for threats regularly

56:00 book suggestions

59:00 object impermanance

1:03:00 how to ask for partner support

1:08:00 on hiring a sex worker

36:00 people are encouraged to be monogamous

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at nonmonogamyhelp.com

The Jealousy and Monogamy Episode Oct 02, 2022

No matter what your current relationship structure-of-choice is, conflict and communication around trust and jealousy can be challenging. I asked one of my favorite therapists Yana Tallon-Hicks to offer advice from her new book, Hot and Un-bothered.

2:00 meet your guest

6:00 parenting is “the kid project”

9:00 non/monogamy isn’t so different regarding conflict

13:00 is my jealousy rooted in reality, or my past?

16:00 on feeling tricked

20:00 “explicit permission”

23:00 lie-inviting behavior

27:00 “name it to tame it”

31:00 authentic, honest responses w/o punishment

34:00 making yourself busy is a flight response

36:00 professional jealousy

39:00 if they are violent, GTFO

42:00 how to awkwardly flirt

45:00 trust is experience built over time

50:00 book recommendations

56:00 talk about sex when you’re not naked

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at YanaTallonHicks.com

The Pain and Pleasure Episode Sep 26, 2022

Timestamps:

What do we mean when we say something “hurts so good”? Let’s talk about pain and pleasure with author Leigh Cowart, who wrote a book by the same name and to explore and document their own journey with thrill seeking and sensations.

1:00 consensual pain

3:00 ballet can be abusive

6:00 emotional and physical pain

11:00 autism and sensation-needs

15:00 allodynia + hyperesthesia

18:00 CBTorture and bliss

23:00 why does a beating feel so good sometimes?

27:00 on touching our own emotional wounds

30:00 Mollena Williams-Haas resource

32:00 tip on screening a partner

35:00 maketimeforthetalk.com

38:00 subs gotta communicate their boundaries too

45:00 almost died from an eating disorder

48:00 too much exercise can also be self-harm

51:00 reaper peppers + pain juice

55:00 masochism

59:00 listen to what your body is telling you

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at IG instagram.com/voraciousbrain

The Sex Work in History Episode Sep 11, 2022

LK Bertram teaches us about madams, clients, birth control and more as it relates to sex work in colonized North America. Learn how history often repeats itself if we don’t learn from the ghosts of our past.

2:00 it started with mugshots

5:00 ghosts are a big part of the culture

8:00 bawdy houses and police violence

11:00 benevolent forces behind social change

15:00 porn is one of the first things people drew

18:00 Oregon statutes and prostitution

21:00 anonymity can help

25:00 frontline health workers and syphilis

29:00 ghosts are radical

32:00 Portland Confidential

35:00 sex workers marry rich men sometimes

38:00 pay me in stocks and jewels maybe

42:00 censorship

46:00 honkey and whored

51:00 stinky breath clients are timeless

54:00 where to get an abortion in the 1800’s

58:00 deep emotional connections and archives

1:02:00 retirement plans for old whores

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest lkbertram.com

The Anti-Racism Sex Education Episode Sep 05, 2022

Clinical sexologist, African-centered social worker and self-liberation teacher speaks to us about her theories, frameworks and ideas, meet Dr. Zelaika Hepworth-Clarke.

1:00 meet your guest, co-liberator

4:00 sleep is healing in a few ways

7:00 the critical study of self - autoethnography

9:00 undoing sexual violence with multi-perspectives

13:00 phallocentrism

17:00 the lure of the vagina is powerful

20:00 osunality undermines white supremacy

23:00 The Invention of Women

26:00 gender and sex is different

29:00 call me Mo-their

31:00 Kim Tallbear

35:00 Joy is dangerous to colonialism

39:00 vulvas look different

42:00 his arrogance is not your responsibility

45:00 race play in sex discussion

49:00 mentors and heroes

55:00 the world is conspiring to bless you

57:00 Afro-presentism

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at zelaika.com

The Trans Internet-Pornmaking Episode Aug 29, 2022

Carta Monir is a trans girl pornmaker who explains why a lot of her material is forbidden on some of the most popular and watched platforms, as we talk about identity and work in an ever-changing industry and world.

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 what violates OnlyFans?

7:00 reddit and r/traps

10:00 on FOSTA/SESTA

12:00 on peer support and mentors

15:00 different incarnations of a person

22:00 what is your fave content to make?

25:00 new websites upcoming!

28:00 advice for running a successful biz

30:00 production can be tough

34:00 does it ever make you wanna quit?

38:00 plz fight for trans ppl if you can

40:00 how do you stay safer from creeps?

43:00 don’t share your location IRL

49:00 unsolicited dick pics are unaesthetic too

53:00 porn is inspo but not an outline

59:00 sex tips

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at twitter.com/CartaMonir

The Cannabis and Sexuality Episode Aug 22, 2022

How might weed relate to sex and arousal? Let’s learn history, tips, and pleasure practices from the Cannasexual, Ashley Manta.

2:00 from DARE kid to cannabis teacher

5:00 publishing a book during COVID sucks

6:00 why say “cannabis” instead of “marijuana”?

9:00 reasons that people use cannabis for sex

12:00 on tolerance breaks

16:00 “cannabis is not boner pills”

21:00 ADHD and anxiety

24:00 resources for cannabis doctors

28:00 CBD vs THC

32:00 what is a placebo?

37:00 anxiety makes sense sometimes

40:00 as a trauma survivor:

44:00 what about this weed study?

49:00 cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome (CHS)

55:00 what are terpenes?

58:00 keeping her tits all to herself

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at ashleymanta.com

The Spirituality and Sexuality Episode Aug 15, 2022

A former pastor speaks to her experiences in the church, and how it shaped her current online pornmaking and coaching businesses she’s growing today. Meet Nikole Mitchell and learn about her very public coming-outs.

2:00 women were not allowed to lead

5:00 coming out during the pandemic

8:00 no shame in divorce here

11:00 the gateway selfie and website

15:00 creating spaces of sexuality and/or spirituality

18:00 no churchy photo shoots yet

21:00 shame can be passed down w/o church

25:00 i dont want to pass my shame to my kids

28:00 sexual energy IRL or online

31:00 dirty, awkward, clumsy, rushed

34:00 on interacting with pregnant clients

36:00 on the vilification of Christians

38:00 Orange County is effed, but lovely

42:00 her previous sex life

45:00 purity-poster-child

50:00 purity balls are cringe

52:00 how the purity movement traumatized people

55:00 other Californians and culture shame about sex

1:03:00 I also love lattes

1:05:00 orgasm shame

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at nikolemitchell.com

The Parenting and Sexuality Episode Aug 08, 2022

How to talk about safety and hygiene? Masturbation? Learn from an expert in communication and teaching for kids and youth, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers.

1:00 they train physicians, clergy, coaches and more, about sexual health

4:00 Swedes are sex-positive!

9:00 impacts of purity culture can look like sexual abuse

13:00 her article went viral, and opposition?

17:00 heredity influences our shapes and bodies

20:00 stages of sexual development are normal

23:00 what do you wish your parents had done differently?

27:00 just tell your kid that you love them regardless of how they look

31:00 it’s normal for kids to not want to hear from their parents on sex

34:00 why my kid can’t sleep in my bed sometimes

36:00 book recommendations

38:00 my parents comment on my body, help!

43:00 on kids and genital self-touching

47:00 how to explain that families are different

50:00 book recommendations again

55:00 listener responses on parenting

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at drtinashameless.com

The Sexual Freedoms Episode Aug 01, 2022

America is not the land of sexual freedoms and the Executive Director of NCSFreedom.org explains how people lose jobs, child custody, housing and more due to being polaymorous, kinky, or queer. You'll also learn how we can fight back against losing our human rights.

1:00 why NCSF was formed

3:00 consenting adults and alternative sexualities

6:00 workplace discrimination and harassment

9:00 what are the laws in your state?

12:00 stigma causes suicide, strife

14:00 opposition groups to sexual freedoms

16:00 stop calling anti-abortion people “pro-life”

19:00 what sexual freedoms do YOU fear losing?

23:00 the six dildos law in Texas

27:00 on crafting the DSM

30:00 working with mental health “experts”

33:00 cops shouldn’t arrest people for doing kink consensually

37:00 foster parents are more likely to abuse kids than parent’s partner

41:00 “institutionalized discrimination”

44:00 what is FOSTA/SESTA?

49:00 making adult postings illegal prevents their rescue

53:00 helping SA survivors report to police more safely

57:00 on PSAs on choking

1:00:00 resources and organizing recs

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at ncsfreedom.org

The Sex Lives of African Women Episode Jul 25, 2022

Our guest Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah collected the stories of African women from all over the globe for years in a blog before she released her book on “self-discovery, freedom, and healing”. We discuss gender, power, feminism, people, and shame.

2:00 meet your guest

5:00 genital reconfiguration for pleasure or mutilation

8:00 stories of self discovery

11:00 on libido in middle age

14:00 child sexual abuse

17:00 on abortion in places where it is illegal

21:00 medical professional and race

25:00 how to unlearn feelings of guilt

29:00 it takes a village to raise a child

34:00 why are some young men so rushed during sex?

37:00 on anxiety and rushing and violence

42:00 the hungry vagina concept

45:00 kink and polyamorous people can experience discrimination

47:00 when marriage is revered

50:00 a cliteral sex tip

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at instagram.com/dfordarkoa

The Ask a Submissive Episode Jul 19, 2022

Lina Dune is a bisexual submissive in a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship and she is a proponent of healing-BDSM. Meet the web’s @askasub and receive advice from a fairy godmother of kink and relationships.

2:00 what is a 24/7 sub?

5:00 gender roles can be kinky

8:00 importing themes of external oppression

11:00 male subs are people too

13:00 violence and sexual violence warning

16:00 you can’t please everyone

19:00 what might look confusing to an onlooker?

24:00 how to spot take doms

27:00 doms are people too

30:00 Doms should be vetted on their politics

33:00 why No is not a Safeword

36:00 how to regulate after a scene

40:00 BDSM comes from a place off mutual respect

44:00 on One Penis Policies
48:00 I don’t need multiple dicks in my life to be a feminist

53:00 on compatibility

56:00 how kink has been helpful

61:00 schedule your sex

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest on askasub.com

The Surrogate Partner Therapy Episode Jul 05, 2022

Would you pay someone to teach you how to be sexual and intimate? Some people do! Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brian Gibney of bgsurrogatetherapy.com talks about touch, legality, and a misleading movie related to surrogate partner therapy.

1:00 he helps people learn to be sexual and intimate

4:00 Cheryl Cohen Greene sounds awesome

6:00 reasons why people seek out a surrogate partner

10:00 what is the training process like?

13:00 examples of boundary exercises

15:00 people cry a LOT

18:00 teaching people how to say No and Yes confidently

23:00 freedom to be yourself

26:00 some clients are not in distress, others are

29:00 challenges of the surrogate partner work

32:00 clients may fall in love and experience an ending

35:00 yes it affects how we do dating as providers

39:00 your host cries again here

44:00 do clients have to be attractive?

47:00 how can LMFTs work with surrogate partners?

53:00 on Brian’s deceased son with disabilities

58:00 life should be less painful

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at briangibney.org

The Retired Stripper Episode Jun 27, 2022

You may know her comics, art, or stripper-social media: listen how Jacqueline Frances is adapting to a new and divorced life after stripping.

1:00 I love a new crowd

4:00 convince me to invest in you

7:00 why she is retiring from stripping

10:00 on becoming internet-and-club-famous

13:00 how stripping culture has changed in a decade

16:00 content warning for sexual assault

20:00 thirst traps doing good work

24:00 Jacq has a new book

28:00 any advice for my last year of stripping?

31:00 a note on positionality

34:00 hustle tips pleeeease

38:00 my body is a hot resource

45:00 be careful when flaunting cash online

49:00 strippers can tell you when the economy is bad

53:00 if I’m not getting money, I’m getting knowledge

56:00 Jacq’s plans for her future

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find your guest on jacqthestripper.com

The Sex Work and Discrimination Episode Jun 20, 2022

Nikki Gilliland was kicked out of college, ostracized by her town, and had her children taken away after her professor decided to target her for her decade-retired pornstar past. Now she’s suing the state of Oregon in a historic Title IX discrimination case.

1:00 she was blocked from college for her former porn career

3:00 Nina Hartley was her first lesbian scene

7:00 she didn’t know people hated pornmakers so much

11:00 Coos Bay, Oregon really sucks in a lot of ways

14:00 “only classy women can be nurses”

16:00 her kids were taken away

18:00 the social work system in Oregon is pretty messed up too

25:00 escorting is “legal” in Utah, but not prostitution lol

28:00 disclaimer on the term “clean” and STIs

31:00 how might I explain my xxx work to future children?

35:00 when your entire town hates you, it’s dangerous

37:00 sex worker outreach groups

43:00 the minority stress perspective

46:00 let’s talk about police raids on legal escorts in Utah

49:00 title IX Discrimination and her historic case

53:00 blowjob tips

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

The Man Stripper Episode Jun 13, 2022

Your host interviews Chicago entertainer Ben Krane about his work and experiences in stripping, gogo-dancing, and internet content creation.

3:00 Boys Town neighborhood in Chicago

5:00 short kings in Hydrate Night Club

9:00 FOSTA/SESTA killed the Tumblr star

12:00 social media restrictions make me poorer

17:00 what’s ur experience with male strippers?

19:00 first kiss with a stripper

23:00 how much groping happens at your job?

25:00 explaining fluffing aka getting “showy”

29:00 owning a ton of undies

33:00 getting to work is half the battle

39:00 straight men in gay/straight strip clubs

42:00 trust no internet platform

47:00 Moms love Chippendale’s

51:00 stereotypes are outliers

55:00 sex tips from our guest

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at IG @benkrane_

The Ethics and Sexuality Episode Jun 06, 2022

How can we do sex and life more ethically? We take common questions with Margaret King, LPC of attunementpsychotherapy.com

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 why the therapist can’t party with you

8:00 examples of guiding principles and sex

15:00 Don’t slap people without asking

19:00 on public sex without asking everyone’s consent

23:00 on sharing herpes status with hookups

30:00 why not legalization of sex work

32:00 why rope play or kink can heal people

35:00 consent is required and can be sexy

38:00 build trust slowly

40:00 body modification can be healing or self harm

45:00 am I rewriting the narrative or replaying harmful scripts?

48:00 what if my partner doesn’t want to play kink with me?

51:00 what if i get triggered by play?

56:00 police brutality in portland

1:00:00 how cultures express different values

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

The Cis Men’s Issues Episode May 30, 2022

Ejaculation issues, stamina, performance anxiety, aggression and shame, learn from Australia’s leading male sexologist Cam Fraser on how to have a better and more ethical sex life.

3:00 - why do this episode?

7:30 “every hole is a goal” - mentality

8:00 pilates and yoga fixed his spine and mind

13:00 challenging narratives about masculinity

15:00 common erectile issues

18:00 elle teaches sex to partners

20:00 communication has to come from both sides

25:00 examples of men’s issues

30:00 vulnerability is hot and powerful

35:00 why prostate orgasms feel different

40:00 SSRI advice and resources

45:00 lube advice

50:00 asexuality in one partner

54:00 pausing or stopping during sex is a human right

1:00:00 stop putting it in my butt without asking!

1:04:00 faster vs harder

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://cam-fraser.com

The Trauma and Sex Therapy Episode Feb 08, 2022

Finding a good therapist, partner-dynamics, kink, embodiment, sensory issues, and conscious relationships: Katherine Friedman, LPC has expert guidance and therapy resources, in an episode on some of our favorite, complex topics.

Timestamps:

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 being informed by her clients

7:00 tips for finding a good therapist

10:00 keeping secrets from your therapist

13:00 why do folks like or dislike therapy?

17:00 what is DBT?

21:00 fuck you, zuckerberg

25:00 when your male partner is too rough

29:00 is your partner respecting your consent?

35:00 can I do rape role play without disclosing my assaults?

40:00 how can a submissive learn to be dominant?

43:00 repetitive masturbation style

47:00 ADHD and sex

52:00 previously “promiscuous” and current lack of interest

57:00 kinks vs fetishes

1:02:00 commonly reported kinks and fetishes

1:06:00 resources and recommendations

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at psychologytoday.com

The Lube and Vaginal Health Episode Feb 01, 2022

Let’s learn about lube! GoodCleanLove owner Wendy Strgar and I talk a little history, some science, and hear feedback on why people love or loathe using personal lubricants.

1:00 she created a lube to fix her own problems

4:00 the science of lube

7:00 you are what you eat

10:00 gut health and vaginal health

13:00 a lot of people with vaginas experience mysterious irritation

16:00 hybrid lubes - what are they?

20:00 silicone lube can be fun or give you an infection or stain

24:00 why do you use lubricant? Or not?

27:00 rushing your sex isn’t helpful

32:00 does chewing tobacco increase chance of infection from oral?

37:00 performance anxiety impacts people

42:00 on heating-type lubricants

46:00 have realistic sexpectations

52:00 dont use most lubes if you’re trying to get pregnant

56:00 kissing can indicate compatibility

59:00 FDA requirements

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at goodlcleanlove.com

The Trans Issues and Kink Episode Jan 24, 2022

Let’s get elbow deep in complex topics like kink, neurodiversity, trauma healing and trans gender issues. Writer cosima bee concordia aka “Bimbo Theory” joins me here and you can find her on Patreon too.

1:00 her new IG is @bimbo.theory

3:00 what is kink?

7:00 ADHD and sluggish cognitive tempo

9:00 lists and timers can be helpful for ADHD

13:00 moral panic around trans people

15:00 informed consent models

18:00 on “pegging the patriarchy”

22:00 Greek men had rules for how they were allowed to have anal sex

25:00 on pegging

30:00 I want leather education!

33:00 BDSM book recommendation - “Leathersex”

36:00 blood play and risk

40:00 submissives and service-topping

45:00 nicknames and pet names

49:00 r*pe-role play

53:00 eroticized taboos

56:00 examples of many types of kink play

59:00 resources for cis people dating newly-transitioned folks

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://linktr.ee/bimbotheory

The Internet Pornmaking Episode 2 Jan 17, 2022

Why do some people enjoy making visual erotica? How does censorship of consensual sex make it harder to address human trafficking? What can porn teach us for better, or worse? Guest and entertainer Ginger Banks explains her journey and offers resources for learning about porn and the people who make it.

Timestamps:

1:00 she’s been kicked off IG six times so far

3:00 market research - what her clients like

8:00 how do we do public education as whores?

12:00 only some of “us” can talk about what we experience

15:00 what is FOSTA SESTA and how is it killing people?

19:00 her examples of ethical porn

22:00 media coaching can helps us communicate

25:00 most people have not had a threesome, ok

27:00 reflections of an unhealthy relationship

31:00 it might be tough to heal from someone if you still see them regularly

34:00 on monetizing daddy issues

39:00 respectability issues and attitudes

43:00 receptive anal is the most likely way to transmit HIV

47:00 how to not ripped off by clip sellers

52:00 Ron Jeremy is a POS

56:00 how to encourage safer venues

1:01:00 Mia Khalifa and her story being manipulated

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://twitter.com/gingerbanks1

Ask a Doctor - Sexual Health Edition Episode Jan 10, 2022

Got sexual health questions? Primary care physician and consent educator Dr Evelin Dacker has information and tips for people of all ages.

Timestamps:

1:00 meet your doctor

3:00 sexual health isn’t taught to most medical experts

6:00 why does my vulva get wet with a tampon in?

8:00 vulvodynia due to birth control for some folks

12:00 does your doctor deserve your disclosure?

15:00 being “out” as a sex-positive doctor

18:00 seeing sexuality through all the ages

22:00 urinary tract infections and D-mannose

24:00 hysterectomy tips

28:00 cervical orgasms

31:00 how is the CDC sex-negative?

38:00 assess your actual risks

41:00 multiple partners does not equal more STIs

48:00 can a lot of masturbation hurt me?

53:00 is there any benefit to semen retention?

57:00 diabetes and erectile/engorgement complications

1:00:00 resources and recs

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://www.evalenedacker.com

Ask Us Anything Episode - Queer Sex Worker Edition Dec 14, 2021

Ever wanted to ask my slutty pals all your most embarrassing questions? We cover a lot with Valentine, a biracial, queer, veteran sex worker, and friend. Let’s talk dating, pornmaking, kink, burnout, and self-help.

1:00 meet your guest, Valentine

4:00 why be closeted?

7:00 filming porn with mascs vs femmes

10:00 pregnant sex workers and choice

13:00 how we feel about sexting apps

22:00 know how to set an appropriate vibe

27:00 tips for anxious club customers

31:00 strippers get nervous too

35:00 and we fart on the customers we don’t like

36:00 tips to prevent dating burnout

40:00 more dating advice for sex workers and those who love us

44:00 when your partner has anger issues

49:00 how to do Dom/Sub in public, discreetly

55:00 how to enjoy sex after sexual assault

59:00 you can conquer anything if you believe in yourself

1:00:00 sensory issues and sex anxiety

1:03:00 gender-neutral endearment

1:08:00 libido differences in partners/couples

1:13:00 penis envy in women?

1:19:00 foot fetish-conflict advice

1:25:00 sworkers can teach us a lot!

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://www.instagram.com/xdaddy_valentinex/?hl=en

The Vibrators and Sex Tech Episode Dec 06, 2021

How does public opinion of sex toys shape their design? On vibrators, let’s talk history, personal preferences, and horror stories with guest and innovative toy designer Ti Chang.

1:00 what was the first vibrator you ever owned?

4:00 some buyers are ashamed of their pleasure

8:00 standards and testing rigor of the future

12:00 sex toys in the mall? Yes and maybe

15:00 common design issues or complaints

18:00 pros of a tiny toy - less intimidating for new users

21:00 suction toys can be intense for sensitive folks

25:00 I learn something new with every sex convo

28:00 brief history of covert sex toys

33:00 poorly made toys can hurt you

37:00 magnets - how do they work?

40:00 listener submitted sex toy horror stories

45:00 when toys get stuck in a rectum or colon

48:00 tech can help with disabled sex too

52:00 attitudes about pleasure informs how products are made

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at lovecrave.com

The Satanism and Sexuality Episode Nov 29, 2021

How does a non-theistic religion relate to sexuality, consent, human trafficking, and personal rituals? Our expert academic Dr Sprankle teaches about history and the impacts of religiosity on human sexuality.

1:00 he’s a twitter hit

4:00 this is a good long running joke

8:00 Satanists don’t believe in a literal devil

10:00 no prohibitions on taboos, yes to consent

13:00 occultism or rationalism, and rituals

16:00 how society treats sex workers can lead to stressors

21:00 a religion of Self

25:00 listener questions

28:00 ejaculations are healthy

31:00 ritual can be impactful

34:00 the history of “satanic panic”

39:00 underlying themes and messaging

45:00 a random web search

50:00 resources

54:00 all the popes have been accused of satanism

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at drspankle.com

The Grief and Sexuality Episode Nov 23, 2021

In a culture that doesn’t understand grief, how do survivors of intimate partner death loss navigate their sexuality? Counselor and author Megan Devine offers help with libido, relationships and shame.

1:00 she was a counselor before her husband died

3:00 reflecting on the “before” life

7:00 death can feel like different rooms in hell

9:00 people are afraid of death and sexuality

12:00 the blaming suicide survivors or victims

13:00 elle’s advice for suicide grief survivors

17:00 craving their body that no longer exists

22:00 anchoring, comforting, sex can help

26:00 what is normal?

29:00 what is working for my healing? what is more dangerous?

35:00 any kind of pleasure during grief can create guilt

40:00 personal agency is important

43:00 pleasure doesn’t cancel out pain

47:00 skin to skin contact is soothing

52:00 loving again feels scary

55:00 a new podcast about grief - for helpers!

1:00:00 when the connection urge still exists:

1:05:00 resources and recommendations

1:08:00 sex after death advice means having curiosity

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at RefugeinGrief.com

The Consent and Queer Sex Episode Nov 16, 2021

Have you ever accidentally or knowingly pushed on someone’s boundaries? We all have, so how do we communicate our needs and heal our harm? Let’s talk about queerness, flirting, sex, and accountability in trauma and relationships with writer Clementine Morrigan.

1:00 meet your guest

5:00 examples of how consent can be confused

6:00 queer imposter syndrome

10:00 verbal consent doesn’t work for everyone

13:00 i identify a traumatized, nice to meet you

16:00 knowing your own triggers is quite helpful

20:00 crossing men’s boundaries

23:00 drinking, drugs, and consent

27:00 taking a pause is necessary and sometimes sexy

31:00 how to communicate when you’re tied up?

36:00 subs gotta use their safe words when they need ‘em

40:00 intent matters and is relevant

45:00 kids and modeled consent

50:00 penetration isn’t inherent to sex play

53:00 sex without penetration is sex

58:00 reflections of how we messed up before

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at clementinemorrigan.com

The Guide to Breakups Episode Nov 09, 2021

Is your heart still hurting and you need help with moving on? There’s a book for that, and I chat with the author, counselor Erin E. Davidson.
1:00 guest background

3:00 Elle’s quick tips for getting over people

6:00 breakups can be a type of grief

9:00 when you find excuses to contact them

13:00 recruiting your breakup team

17:00 rumination and “switching tracks”

22:00 life will be better again if you can leave safely

27:00 disenfranchised grief

31:00 on being judged for divorcing AGAIN

35:00 the right relationship for the time being

41:00 some silly study on feeling better over time

45:00 breakup pain can go up and down

50:00 resources

53:00 Elle says F U to an ex

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://linktr.ee/erin.e.davidson

The Foreskin and Male Circumcision Episode with Eric Cunningham Nov 01, 2021

Foreskin removal and reconstruction: guest Eric Cunningham shares history and medical knowledge relating to penis-altering procedures around the world.

1:00 language disclaimer

5:00 penis circumcision is fairly rare, worldwide

8:00 circumcision in the US originated due to misbeliefs

11:00 war and enslavement and the marking of genitals

15:00 Alexander the great wanted to stop genital cutting

20:00 the Olympics relates to circumcision

30:00 chastity devices

32:00 surgeries conducted on genitals to prevent sexual function

38:00 you have frenulums all over

42:00 ribbed condoms mimic foreskin

47:00 circumcision doesn’t seem to reduce STI transmission

57:00 resource recommendations

1:00:00 animals have foreskins too

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

The Curvy Sex and Fatphobia Episode Oct 25, 2021

For all genders: size anxiety, euphoria, acceptance, and individuality is explained to us by author Elle Chase, CSE.

1:00 this is about body acceptance, not love

5:00 the burden of negative cultural influences

10:00 gender roles for body image

15:00 how are bigger bodied people treated differently?

20:00 FOSTA/SESTA has hurt fat people

25:00 how can straight-sized sex workers help?

31:00 Listener Questions

35:00 fat jiggling is really sexy to a lot of people

45:00 elle’s tips for anxiety and masturbation

50:00 what IS restrictive eating?

54:00 share what you love about your partner’s bigger body?

58:00 elle loves scissoring

1:02:00 more book resources and breathing reminders

The Internet Pornmaking Episode Oct 17, 2021

Learn some behind-the-scenes secrets and production tricks as we talk to a xxx performer who has been making adult content for a decade.

1:00 Gem makes porn - meet your guest

5:00 nude model contracts can be weird

10:00 would you prefer to let your spouse manage your OnlyFans?

13:00 likes/dislikes about adult content creation

17:00 chafed labias are a downside of a busy calendar

23:00 this stuff isn’t always easy!

26:00 on setting boundaries during live shows

30:00 filming feedback and mishaps

36:00 it sucks getting your period on camera

40:00 how to not get your IG deleted by OnaArtist

43:00 how we feel about anti porn people who claim they fight trafficking

48:00 what could change about the web porn industries?

52:00 sex tips and advice from Gem

Find Gem on Twitter and OnlyFans @lilshawtygem and @theshawtysupreme

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month, or free on ellestanger.com

The Gay History of Fitness Episode Oct 12, 2021

Gay and bisexual men have been hugely impactful on modern fitness and gym culture, and our writer and fitness expert explains how.

2:00 meet your guest

5:00 a famous bisexual sex worker flexing was one of the first film clips

7:00 beefcake magazines

9:00 excessive carbs can lower your libido?

14:00 men, what keeps you closeted?

18:00 discrimination prevents success

22:00 hormones and steroid use

27:00 ethical steroid use and applications

33:00 how often do you come out to people?

38:00 homophobia/misogyny/racism in fitness on social media

45:00 the Proud Boys and Vice relationship

49:00 labial and scrotal wax can HURT

53:00 carnivals and wrestlers and strippers

1:00:00 good hygiene is good sex advice

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Ellestanger.com

The Anti-Sex Trafficking Episode Oct 04, 2021

How do current laws and beliefs perpetuate opportunities for sexual abuse of people, specifically children, immigrants, trans people, BIPOC, and sex workers? Let’s talk with an Executive Director for a nonprofit that supports survivors and offers resources, the Cupcake Girls.

2:00 meet our guest - why does a civilian work in anti-trafficking?

5:00 police abuse in oregon

10:00 *deep breath reminder*

13:00 doctors, lawyers, nurses might Out or report sex workers to police

17:00 examples of how criminalization hurts people

20:00 critically question your spirituality

21:00 more examples of how criminalization hurts people

25:00 domestic violence can link to sex trafficking

29:00 generational trafficking is more common than you might think

35:00 resource for secondary trauma - emma sullivan

39:00 tips for talking with a partner about trauma

43:00 sex workers are taxpayers too, LOL

50:00 most anti-trafficking organizations require people to quit sex work to receive services

55:00 How to donate

1:00:00 planes and flights with people being transported

1:05:00 gender myths and trafficking
1:10:00 don’t make assumptions

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at cupcakegirls.org

The Masturbation Education Episode Sep 27, 2021

Let’s talk about genital self-touch with author Vic Liu and learn from Bang For All - their inclusive book on masturbation.

2:00 why write a sex ed book on masturbation

10:00 how masturbation can be good for you

13:00 masturbation myths

20:00 how to increase sensitivity in your vulva

25:00 be mindful of your anal play

27:00 anal numbing creams are so dangerous

32:00 vibrator dependency - why the brain can rely on simple methods

40:00 elle asked listeners: what have you masturbated with?

47:00 why teach sex education to k-12?

49:00 child sexual abuse *trigger*

52:00 resources

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://www.vic-liu.com

The Queering Up Sex Episode Sep 20, 2021

Which sexual scripts and stereotypes do you follow, even if they don’t feel good or make sense? Dr Chris Donaghue explains how to have sex outside the lines and expand your skills and attitudes with yourself and partners.

5:00 throw out your expectations about what sex “should” be like

12:00 approach a partner’s body with curiosity regardless of gender

18:00 controversial idea: fluid and expansive educators will understand sexuality better

25:00 trying new things all the time

30:00 goth kids do it in the cemetery

33:00 dirty talk tips

39:00 everybody likes different things, sexually

44:00 using toys: our entire bodies can be stimulated

52:00 on “heteroflexible” as a term

57:00 other examples of sexual scripts

1:00:00 resource requests

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://www.drchrisdonaghue.com

The Kink and Trauma Episode Sep 13, 2021

What can it mean to be kinky and how can we play more safely and creatively? Domina Franco M.Ed has two decades of experience and gives advice and info about kink play and trauma.

4:00 what is kink?

8:00 how some types of play and relationships are pathologized

12:00 on being a joyful sadist and human furniture

20:00 slut play

28:00 a theory on why some people love submission

32:00 Consensual Non-consent play or “rape role play”

40:00 how to screen for safer dominant partners

45:00 topping is a sacred responsibility

54:00 mint green bandanas mean mommy kink

1:00:00 book recommendations on kink and BDSM

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

The Jealousy and Relationships Episode Sep 06, 2021

We all experience jealousy and feel it on a spectrum: learn how to manage it with relationship-building expert Dr Joli Hamilton.

3:00 different relationship styles

6:00 why call it CNM instead of ENM

14:00 what purposes does jealousy serve?

18:00 people don’t like identifying they are jealous - feeling shame about feeling jealous

19:00 how mismanaged jealousy can do great harm

24:00 how do I ask to open up an existing relationship?

29:00 I hate my partner’s partner - what to do?

38:00 how to own your jealousy

48:00 germophobes and sharing

The Stripper and Hustle Episode Aug 30, 2021

How to run yourself as a more sustainable, cheerful and profitable business: business coach Carmen Santos from Racks-to -Riches offers advice for veteran strippers, baby strippers, and civilians.

1:10 most of us auditioning have zero or little knowledge of how to do the jobs

4:00 communication and sales skills matter

7:00 viewing yourself as a business

10:00 intergenerational and gender issues relating to financial education

15:00 employee vs contractor status

17:00 annoying things that clients do - don’t do these!

24:00 how to deal with those same old questions

36:00 alcohol wears people down

40:00 how to reframe aging in sex industries

45:00 privacy and disclosure advice

49:00 social media use is energy

53:00 bad legislation and laws

55:00 what makes a good club

59:00 business advice resources

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find your guest at RackstoRiches.com and your host at Ellestanger.com

1:03:00 on dating yourself

The Herpes and Relationships Episode Aug 23, 2021

Facts, FAQs and communication about a common virus that many of us live with, with herpes educator and suicide-prevention organizer Courtney Brame.

2:00 - herpes diagnoses can make people suicidal

7:00 - shame about COVID and herpes

12:00 - skin friction is how herpes is transmitted, sexually or not

19:00 - mental health and sexuality

26:00 - disclosure: when should I?

30:00 - the three most common responses to “I have herpes”

38:00 - different ways to disclose to partners

42:00 - therapists should be herpes literate

52:00 - immune system support is critical

1:00:00 - what's' it like telling strangers you have herpes, regularly?

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find your host at Ellestanger.com and our guest on SPFPP.org

The Guide to Threesomes Episode Aug 17, 2021

Sex coach and author Stella Harris offers advice and tips on how to prep, plan and practice pleasure with three or more partners.

4:00 why do people want to have threesomes?

8:00 conflict is perhaps more likely with more people interacting

12:00 having sex positive friends creates more opportunity for pleasure

17:00 on web options or paying for it

24:00 how do you meet people for a third?

27:00 sci-fi and fantasy nerds often engage in sexual diversity

35:00 options for play that don’t involve fluid exchange or penetration

45:00 perks of being a unicorn

50:00 most porn is not education

59:00 bisexuality in men isn’t as supported

1:03:00 fantasy is not the same as reality

1:07:00 more resource recommendations

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at StellaHarris.net

The Compulsive Sexual Behaviors Episode Aug 09, 2021

Clinician and author Silva Neves explains common misconceptions about so-called “sex addiction” and gives help to folks navigating distressing concerns about their own sexualities.

4:00 Lack of sexuality training with sex workers

7:30 sex addiction type treatment is shaming of people

9:40 why “sex addiction” is not an accurate term

11:00 your body doesn’t withdraw from lack of sex, and can’t OD on sex

19:00 trauma and attachment

20:00 non-monogamy

25:00 sex positivity includes body positivity

Fetishes, poly, kinky, sex workers, disability, queer, asexual all need to be included in sex therapy

27:00 what sex-positive really means

29:00 asexuality is real

31:00 conversion “therapy”

36:00 How to share a trauma story with partners

40:00 porn doesn't make people violent

47:00 relational trauma is common

51:00 what is digisesxuality?

53:00 what is chemsex?

59:00 how to surf your emotions

1:11:00 monogamy is a christian concept

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

The Trans Masc and Porn Episode Aug 01, 2021

On loving the work, being attacked by haters, trans man adult performer Trip Richards shares his experiences with pornmaking, dating, and censorship.

8:00 we are a mish-mosh of identities

12:00 perks of the work

18:00 trans porn resources

25:00 trip was deactivated on IG shortly after this recording

28:00 on cis women + trans man porn demand

32:00 most of us can’t be authentic in capitalism

40:00 dating as a performer

43:00 what was the pornhub scandal about?

46:00 there’s more child abuse material uploaded to facebook than pornhub

53:00 shame around desires causes violence

57:00 he’s a cat dad

Find your host’s Behind the scenes and journals at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected