The ZDoggMD Show

Latest Episodes:

Why Every Non-Duality Speaker Is Lying (w/Kat van Oudheusden) Nov 02, 2026

Show notes

True lies such as self-help is hopeless, "selfless leadership" is anything but, and spiritual bypass IS THE WHOLE POINT 🔥 The innocent, impersonal simplicity of THIS. Kat Van Oudheusden's books, free Zoom meetings, and more here.

Why Kat’s personal story and “how I woke up” don’t make sense anymore, and the relief when story stops mattering
Why seekers cling to the story of what Kat did, and what it’s like being a female voice in the male-dominated radical non-duality space
The two extremes: “no one here, nothing to do” versus “we’re all love and a higher version of me,” and why they meet in a circle
How self-inquiry can use the selfing mechanism to short-circuit itself
Natural inquiry versus “artificial” inquiry from YouTube teachers, and life disillusioning beliefs one at a time
Why everyone sees this in their own sequence, and how the mind turns whatever happened just before into the teaching
Kat’s six aspects of no self and the essential inquiries in her book Seeing No Self
Testing inquiries with more than 100 people over three years, mostly by WhatsApp
Inquiry as a framework without a fixed path, process, or recipe
Zubin’s early intellectual understanding, the energetic knot, and the belief that things always work out for the best
If there is no doer, does “stop seeking” even make sense, and how radical non-duality and inquiry compare
Zubin’s fossil record of contradictory expressions, from stages of enlightenment to “there is nothing to do”
“We’re all liars”: no one can speak the truth about non-duality, and 8 billion versions are equally true or untrue
Why judging another version of non-duality means you don’t understand it
“I am no one” as another form of selfing, and freedom when it’s all seen as impersonal
COVID, “alt-middle,” and how all positions were seen as impersonal
Irreversible seeing versus the lived experience, which can still be contracted, egoic, and selfing
A body that isn’t owned, being 50 and 53, parenting, and playing roles without believing in them
The non-dual identity, and the relief when the camera turned off
Why all of it is useful nonsense, and how Rupert Spira’s and Tony Parsons’s messages each landed
Inquiry as breadcrumbs, direct recognition, and the seeking mechanism going into overdrive
Why the spiritual world is full of ego, $10,000 retreats, and the myth of progress in being human
Donald Hoffman’s nightly meditation, and Zubin’s spontaneous inquiry into materialism versus consciousness
“We’re all end-stage seekers,” and the seahorse analogy for belief in a separate self
The pretend game of separation, TED talks, and years working in university systems
Why nobody wants what impersonal offers, and the non-duality police versus the personal religion crowd in the comments
Morality, the separate soul that needs saving, and “sinners in the hands of an angry God”
Zubin’s unworthiness reactor, and being grateful that nothing solved it
Never having mystical experiences, and why that makes it doubtless
Non-duality as the next lingo, and posting insight on social media
AI-generated clips of soundbites, and doing meetings anyway
The recursive loop of confusion, and “my thoughts are also just this”
The end of hope, and impersonal hope
The descriptive versus prescriptive fallacy, and practicing non-attachment
Why it’s all innocent, and Kat’s book title joke “Isness”
Romantic music, the hero’s journey, and not taking any of it seriously
Servant leadership as selfless leadership, and why a self trying to be a servant leader is the worst kind
Zubin’s wife as an example of effortless servant leadership
Momentary glimpses, and “where did the moment go?”
Shadow work and internal family systems, and why digging through the trash only finds more trash
Looking where the self is not, rather than into more of it
Spiritual bypass: “you have to bypass,” and why accusing others of bypassing is the least spiritual thing to do
Kat’s name, growing up in Thailand, and plans for a part two

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Do you really need all this spiritual crap? | Thursday Zen, LIVE Oct 30, 2026

Show notes

Polish the turd of “me” long enough and it still won’t shine. A Thursday Zen rant for anyone who’s done everything "right" and is still seeking that enlightenment fix.

From our live YouTube conversation here.

Topics:

A warning to the seeking energy that wants to polish itself until the self disappears
Zubin’s story: the doctor and YouTuber who was miserable no matter what he achieved
The core sense of brokenness, unworthiness, and separation behind the seeking
The spiritual path as becoming an enlightened self, and the books and teachers that went with it
Meditation, self inquiry, and resting as the I am, and why it felt like torture
Glimpses and retreat insights as experiences for a “me”
The spiritual industrial complex and why YouTube feeds it
A slow, torturous disillusionment with every practice and guru
A message for seekers: there is no future, no better, and no one
Why wanting to lose the me is the me wanting the me gone
Shadow work and trauma stories as more of the same story
The nuclear reactor of unworthiness, and what happened when it collapsed
What changed: spontaneous yes and no, no more people pleasing, and a nicer guy
Whether you need spiritual practices (if they show up, they show up)
Preferences remain, but nobody is left to own what people think
Comment: panic attacks, the second arrow, and life showing up as panic
Why it feels impossible to the one who wants it
The mirage and the water, and how nothing is rejected
Tony Parsons and Jim Newman, and how everyone points differently
Disillusionment with teachers, and “I’m not a teacher”
Free will, progress, and moving through the universe
A Star Trek tangent (Kirk versus Picard)
Zoroastrian roots, the Avesta, and why no belief stuck
Is “no self” just another belief, and how daily life has changed
Is non-duality another form of escapism, and what spiritual bypass looks like
Money, wealth, and a message with no conditions
Zen at war and why beliefs are useless
The word “influencer,” and the loving character underneath the oppositional one
Money fears, doubt, and Tim Cliss’s “doubtless uncertainty”
Supporting your kids and the fear of ending up on the street
Would mega wealth change anything, and billionaires as powerful seekers
Studying Zen Buddhism, and why practice is an epiphenomenon
Why awakening seems correlated with practice
The descriptive versus prescriptive fallacy, and teachers who sell techniques

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ZPupp's Home From College! (LIVE) Oct 25, 2026

Show notes

I sent a kid off to college and a some sort of crazy adult came back 🫣😂 WARNING: contains spiritual ego collateral damage and one ANGRY cat named The Mitch! From our YouTube Live conversation.

Nina (Z-Pupp) is home from Vassar for fall break, and the live is for Nai Nai to see her
Why Nina left California for a school where she knew no one
Double majoring in music and econ, and why she didn’t go to NYU for the music business
Chamber music, her professor, and live-streamed orchestra concerts watched at home on the big TV
Mendelssohn, and the screen photo texted to her mid-concert
Making friends, her surprise roommate, and the case for a small liberal arts college
Poughkeepsie versus New York City, and the train into the city
A violin lesson in San Francisco, playing a Sarasate duet, and favorite composers
The one dining hall, the bagel place, and the acai bowl shop where strangers pitched Vassar to her on the college visit
Winning a concerto competition, and Nina’s opinion of Vivaldi
The campus petting zoo and its ferret, chinchilla, and baby kangaroo
The Mitch the cat: escape attempts, getting caught, and Nina the cat whisperer
Professors’ outfits, music theory capes, and the jean jacket comeback
The Cocteau Twins, and whether they count as emo
Whether the Mitch is fat or just fluffy, and “you can’t win with women who know everything”
What Nina misses most about home (her car), and feeling stuck in Poughkeepsie
San Francisco tech bros, cappuccino art, and the vocal fry of Pacific Heights
Dining hall slop, the freshman 15 in reverse, and joining a squash class and biking
How Stanford benefits help pay for tuition
Drop-off night, hotel bourbon, and a musician tip from the chat
Professor Navega’s threat to “snap her neck” for being late
Affluent classmates, generational wealth, and debutante parties
Parties, Halloween weekend, and Zubin’s freshman 15 at Berkeley
Nina’s take on the awakening stuff: “we just gotta live in the here and now, even though that doesn’t exist”
Zubin agrees that awakening talk is nonsense, and why he keeps talking about it
Vermont hippie colleges and the leg hair debate
Crying (or laughing) at drop-off, and doom scrolling in the rental Volvo
Halloween costumes: a chicken onesie and a Love Island robe with dollar store snakes
Is college worth it in the age of AI: connections, Swiffers, and learning to be an adult
Side hustles, and “what is a Zubin” showing up in Shorts feeds
Donald Hoffman, conscious agents, and the homunculus
Whether the kids had an awakening: telling Nina “nothing is real” during COVID and her existential crisis at 10
Spiritual ego, and why a “me” with a new insight wants to inflict it on its kids
Watching Nina grow up on the channel, the Big Pharma video, and Dr. House of Cards
“Gaffes” and “C’s get degrees” versus “P equals MD”
The stumbling block of teaching what you just learned
Amenemope, the Bhagavad Gita, and Nina’s plan to take it next semester
Using AI, just not for art or music
Zubin’s Zoroastrian upbringing and chanting from the Avesta at 11
Zubin’s “it’s all just this” take on oneness and consciousness
Arjuna, Krishna, and killing your brother’s army
AI flattery, and Zubin’s British lady Claude voice in the car
Nina’s cognitive science class, “Chat with Pat,” and why the chatbot folds under pushback
Whether Claude is conscious, and who is having the experience
Saying please and thank you to AI, and older people finding company in chatbots
Waymos, who is liable when AI goes wrong, and the doomer argument
Dallas hospitality, a midnight hotel check-in, and an Uber ride into the MAHA conspiracy
Chatty Ubers in Poughkeepsie and New York
Whether Dallas counts as the South
Wrap-up, solfege, and sending Nina back to school (she’ll be back in December)

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Ex-Hindu monk on the utter failure of spiritual seeking (w/ Tobias Ricardo) Oct 13, 2026

Show notes

Tobias Ricardo spent 15 years as a Hindu monk and had pretty much every spiritual experience on the menu: kundalini fireworks, blissed-out “I am” states, retreats, the works. The real freedom turned out to be seeing that all of it was happening to and for a “me” who was never actually there. If you’ve had glimpses that never seem to stick, and you keep thinking you just need one more retreat, maybe check this conversation out 😉

Click here for all my usual links, music, videos, podcast, Supporter Tribe and more.

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The Only True Compassion (w/ Tim Cliss) Oct 02, 2026

Show notes

The end of seeking is NOT what you think Sep 28, 2026

Show notes

I got an email this morning with the subject: "I died and you helped. Thanks." 😳

Here's the resulting YouTube LIVE discussion!

Topics covered:

Reading an email from a longtime viewer describing two years of awakening, contraction, and finally the realization there was never anyone on the journey
Why the end of seeking is surprising precisely because it's so ordinary, not some mystical attainment
Why "unconditional love" and other spiritual language are imperfect pointers, and what they're actually gesturing at
A follow-up phone call with email author, and what it's like when nothing lands or sticks between two people who've been through this
Losing the impulse to fix or save other people once agency is seen through
Compassion as natural, unforced acceptance of everything, including one's own conditioning
The nuclear reactor analogy for how unworthiness gets walled off in childhood, and what happens when it melts down
Processing anger and grief, including a viewer whose son is becoming homeless, and why there's no such thing as spiritual bypassing
Revisiting the fury felt at the Hiroshima museum and how it naturally resolved
Money, financial fear, and how the drive to "keep hustling" has changed
Why the VPZD show and other seemingly contradictory activities still arise and make sense
How the self attaches itself to actions after the fact to preserve the illusion of free will and agency
The self described as a verb ("selfing") rather than a fixed thing
Heaven, hell, and why eternity of any single experience, even pleasure, becomes hell
Marriage, kids, and whether family changes how someone relates to death
Closing reflections on watching a daughter start college, liberal arts education, and the peace out

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Beliefs are tricky... Sep 23, 2026

Show notes

The sense of self may die, but these termites eating my house are still VERY much alive 😉

My recent livestream on TikTok. Some of the topics touched on:

Beliefs as an endless, dissolving process.

The VPZD show as a dance of conditioning between hosts and audience.

Fighting for a cause as really fighting for identity.

Communicating needs with a partner.

Book recommendations for exploring non-duality.

A partner's neediness as a mirror for one's own conditioning.

Doctor as just another fallen-away identity.

Finding meaning in a meaningless existence.

Why human consciousness defaults to negativity.

Letting go of the belief that you should be positive.

Getting contradictory antivax and pro-vax accusations back to back. Substituting one identity paradigm for another.

Reflecting on the 30s, 40s, and 50s as different flavors of seeking.

Flu shot risk tolerance and personal choice.

The shingles vaccine decision.

Nothing is happening, yet the characters keep playing their story out. Political yard signs causing friction with a spouse.

Sitting with the shock of losing a friend badly.

What is the point of any of this.

Termites, relative and ultimate reality.

Letting go of tribal fighting.

The Macklemore and Ed Sheeran controversy revisited.

Viewers sharing Macklemore songs and other political art.

Richard Wagner as beauty coexisting with bigotry.

Working with insects as a way to understand fear.

Closing thoughts on why this TikTok live feels accepting.

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There's no bypassing life, like, EVER Sep 02, 2026

Show notes

A live YouTube conversation about dropping our oldest child off for college, ending with an overpriced bottle of hotel Jim Beam drunk out of plastic cups by a Homewood Suites firepit. Yeah, enlightenment ain't what the gurus have been selling us 😭😅

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Alone, Together Aug 08, 2026

Show notes

Back from Japan to talk about being "alone together," why the "loneliness epidemic" is something engineered by the "me", and how bliss, grief, Fauci, and a three-dollar vintage shirt all fit into the same perfect unfolding.

Video show archive, audio podcasts, music parodies, Supporter Tribe membership options, merch, social media, and email contact form: ⁠https://lnk.bio/zdoggmd

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Moral Injury, Health 4.0, and the End of "You" Jul 02, 2026

Show notes

A live Q+A wandering through our Sunday zoom meeting with the awakening group, to Jesus Christ Superstar, to the death of "ZDoggMD" as an identity, through moral injury, openness as the prerequisite for everything, why spirituality is a beautiful farce, and what it's like when worry about the future just stops sticking. Health 4.0 son!

Contact me, watch all the videos, and join the Supporter Tribe for future zoom meetings here.

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