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    Arts

    The Wizard Wheezes

    A podcast for Fan Fiction Audiobooks, read by yours truly!

    All recordings are created and distributed with the authors knowledge, and links to the original works will always be available in the description.

    If you have created a Fan Fiction that you would like to have recorded on the show, please don’t hesitate to contact me at oliversvoenquiries@gmail.com.

    Theme music is:

    “Not As It Seems” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Advertise
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    Latest Episodes:
    Not with a Bang - Chapter 9 Feb 13, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 9 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Not with a Bang - Chapter 8 Feb 09, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 8 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Not with a Bang - Chapter 7 Feb 06, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 7 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Not with a Bang - Chapter 6 Feb 02, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 6 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Not with a Bang - Chapter 5 Jan 30, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 5 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Not with a Bang - Chapter 4 Jan 26, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 4 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Not with a Bang - Chapter 3 Jan 23, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 3 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Not with a Bang - Chapter 2 Jan 19, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 2 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Not with a Bang - Chapter 1 Jan 16, 2026
    Show notes

    Chapter 1 of Not with a Bang by Megalle


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54056641/


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy has just 9 months left on a 7 year house arrest sentence when the Ministry announces a new Marriage and Repopulation Act. Draco assumes it will not affect him as he is still under house arrest. He assumes wrongly.

    No matter, the Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, has paired him with one Hermione Granger. The witch has never met an injustice she hasn't fought against and so Draco assumes she'll fight this one to the death before tying herself to him. Again, he assumes wrongly.

    So now he has a wife who more resembles a ghost haunting his manor than the girl he once knew, a meddling elf, a rapidly approaching release date and no idea what life outside the Manor walls looks like or for the first time in his life, someone trying to tell him what to do with it."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    A Snowfall to Remember - By Autumnween Dec 24, 2025
    Show notes

    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74426596


    Authors Summary:

    "Draco Malfoy had attended the Ministry Christmas party for three years in a row, hoping that something might happen between him and Hermione Granger. Nothing ever did, of course. Until now. Unbeknownst to him, Hermione had hoped for the same. Except this time, she decides to take the reins."


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Wish Background" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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