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    Comedy

    The War Report w/ Gastor Almonte – N – Shalewa Sharpe

    The War Report w/ G-N-S is comedy a podcast about the news that matters; but also the news that doesn’t. We cover Joe Biden and Joe Budden with equal energy and professionalism. The best news and pop culture podcast – period. Hosted by comedians Shalewa Sharpe and Gastor Almonte.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © Gastor Almonte and Shalewa Sharpe

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify
    Latest Episodes:
    Bonus EP - Lime Fyre Sep 22, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's bonus episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about Limewire buying Fyre Festival, lost hats at Yellowstone, and the end of Publishers Clearing House.



    PATREON LAUNCH!For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    Crystall Schmidt

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins


    Follow The Team:

    Instagram

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte



    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions

    Ep. 252 - Smooth Skipping Sep 18, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about a man getting beat up by a bear, a teenage snail doing teen things, and a rock skipping scandal.


    PATREON LAUNCH!

    For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help!

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins



    Instagram:

    @WarReportPod

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte


    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions


    Bonus EP - The Real Zuckerberg Sep 15, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's bonus episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about Mark Zuckerberg suing Mark Zuckerberg, legless doctor going to jail for fraud, and Shalewa's unintentional catch phrases.

    PATREON LAUNCH!For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    Crystall Schmidt

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins


    Follow The Team:

    Instagram

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte



    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions


    Ep. 251 - Sesame for the Streets Sep 11, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about Lil Jon placing in a bodybuilding contest, a man who identified as a dog during an arrest and Sesame Street dropping episodes on Youtube.


    PATREON LAUNCH!

    For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help!

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins



    Instagram:

    @WarReportPod

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte


    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions

    Bonus EP - Can't Breathe Without You Sep 08, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's bonus episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about being stuck in space without oxygen, and getting fired because of AI then getting rehired to fix their mistakes.

    PATREON LAUNCH!For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    Crystall Schmidt

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins


    Follow The Team:

    Instagram

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte



    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions

    Ep. 250 - No Edgar for Me Sep 04, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about companies that need to be evil to grow, the death of a legend's wife, and the wrong haircut for Gastor.


    PATREON LAUNCH!

    For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help!

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins



    Instagram:

    @WarReportPod

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte


    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions




    Bonus EP - Johnny 5 is the Father Sep 01, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's bonus episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about leggins being out with gen-z, and robots having babies for us.

    PATREON LAUNCH!For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    Crystall Schmidt

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins


    Follow The Team:

    Instagram

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte



    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions



    Ep. 249 - Bad Neighbor Aug 28, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about tarrifs, Swift/Kelce engagement, and cheap billionaire gifts.


    PATREON LAUNCH!

    For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help!

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins



    Instagram:

    @WarReportPod

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte


    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions



    Bonus EP - Mainland Shrimp Aug 25, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's bonus episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about early days of driving, and a major shrimp recall.


    PATREON LAUNCH!For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    Crystall Schmidt

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins


    Follow The Team:

    Instagram

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte



    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions


    Ep. 248 - More Brooklyn Aug 21, 2025
    Show notes

    In today's episode, Gastor and Shalewa talk about Gastor's vocal chords, Shalewa's favorite article headlines, and the slowest search for a phone - ever!


    PATREON LAUNCH!

    For all those that have asked how they can help support the pod - it's finally here! Thanks again to all the Troops and Correspondents who rock with us. Check it out - we'll have some exclusive content and fun perks, plus it really does help!

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/WarReportPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Many Thanks to our Patreon Troops & Correspondents for helping us bring this show to life.


    Shouts to the Correspondents!

    Tanya Weiman

    Fontayne Woods

    Mark Orellana

    B. Emmerich

    Charlene Bank

    Askew

    Charlatan the Fraud

    Cynthia Pong

    Ken Mogul

    SayDatAgain SayDatAgain

    LaKai Dill

    Stephanie Gayle

    UncleJoe

    Stylenosh

    Cato from Stono

    David Collins



    Instagram:

    @WarReportPod

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte

    Twitter:

    @SilkyJumbo

    @GastorAlmonte


    Theme music "Guns Go Cold" provided by Kno of Knomercyproductions Twitter: @Kno Instagram: @KnoMercyProductions


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