The Virtual Couch

Latest Episodes:

It's Going To Be OK! Managing Worry and Doubt During Distressing Times Mar 31, 2020

Show notes

If you're human, you've experienced worry. But sometimes it can be more difficult than others to set those worries aside and continue doing what you need to do to move ahead in your life. In today's episode, Tony discusses the article "I'm a psychologist, and these are my top 8 tips for distracting yourself from overwhelming worry" by Erin Bunch from Wellandgood.com. https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/how-to-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-control/

COMING SOON Tony's FREE PARENTING CLASS/VIRTUAL SESSION "Parenting Positively Even in the Not So Positive of Times!" Go to tonyoverbay.com and sign up now to be the first to learn how to get this FREE parenting program that will help you immediately understand more about these tiny, or sometimes not so tiny, humans that can play such a major role in our happiness and well being.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

The Invisible Gorilla And Other Fascinating Psychological Experiments Mar 24, 2020

Show notes

Can memories be implanted? What would you do if smoke began billowing from underneath a door and everyone around you acted like nothing unusual was happening? And could you spot a gorilla running across the screen while you were focusing on people passing a ball between one another? Most of us, if not ALL of us would most likely say that we'd run out of the room, or that we'd absolutely notice the gorilla...yet according to the data, that's not always the case.-In this episode, Tony reviews 5 fascinating experiments from the BoredPanda.com article "28 Psychological Experiments That Revealed Incredible And Uncomfortable Truths About Ourselves" by James Caunt https://www.boredpanda.com/psychology-behaviour-experiments/-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-And please go to http://tonyoverbay.com today and sign up now to receive more information on Tony’s upcoming free parenting "virtual session" called Tips for Parenting Positively During The Not So Positive of Times.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Decreasing Anxiety During Anxious Times w/Dr. Mary Wilde Mar 20, 2020

Show notes

Dr. Mary Wilde is a board-certified pediatrician, author, and mother of 8 who spends a lot of her time helping people decrease anxiety during anxious times. It’s fair to say that with the continuing information regarding COVID-19 coming from all angles these are truly anxious times. So what can you do to keep your own anxiety and fear in check? How does grounding yourself help put you in a better position to help those around you, your family, your children? And can a little bit of anxiety actually be good for you? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch, Dr. Mary gives a brief overview of this latest coronavirus, COVID-19, and gives suggestions on ways that we can talk to our kids about all the changes and uncertainty in the world.

Dr. Mary also gives some great advice on how to make the most of the downtime not only for yourself but also for your family. She gives specific examples of how to use an integrative approach, tapping into your mind, your body and your spirit to help decrease anxiety during these anxious times. Dr. Mary has a WEALTH of resources and her own program for lessening anxiety on her website https://drmarywilde.com/home-page and you can find several links that she referenced during this episode below.

And please go to http://tonyoverbay.com today and sign up now to receive more information on Tony’s upcoming free workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), ACT can help you truly focus on what is important to YOU, it will help keep you not only present, able to be there for yourself, your family and your loved ones during even the most uncertain times, but it can also help you make solid decisions moving forward that can help bring you a tremendous sense of purpose.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Overcoming Childhood Anxiety" for kids, teens, & parents with Dr. Mary Wilde--an 8-week online course teaching mind, body, spirit strategies for dealing with anxiety & more https://drmarywilde.com/anxiety-courses

Free ADHD 5-Challenge with Dr. Mary Wilde and Dr. Lara Honos-Webb: a strength-based approach to ADHD w/ bonus session on optimizing the home learning environment during lockdown https://drmarywilde.com/ADHD-challenge

Free ebook by Dr. Mary Wilde "Your Road to Calm: Stress Detox for the Modern Family" https://drmarywilde.com/ebook-optin

Other resources:

CDC Website: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fcoronavirus%2Findex.html

WHO Website: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019

Washington Post article explaining social distancing: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

BrainsOn Podcast to Help Explain How Coronavirus is Spread: https://www.brainson.org/shows/2020/03/10/understanding-coronavirus-and-how-germs-spread-for-kids

Free resource to help kids learn to use imagery to reduce anxiety: http://imaginaction.stanford.edu/

Yoga Channel for young kids: https://www.youtube.com/user/CosmicKidsYoga

Mindfulness Meditation with Dr. Tara Brach https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-the-rain-of-self-compassion/ and a free half-day retreat resource for parents (If you have a parenting partner, take turns!) https://www.tarabrach.com/create-home-retreat/

Online scripture (Comment in the show notes to suggest others!)

Old Testament https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot?lang=eng

New Testament https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt?lang=eng

Torah https://www.sefaria.org/texts

Quran https://quran.com/?local=en

Do I Really Need More TP or Bottled Water? Aka "If Everybody Else is Doing it, Shouldn't I?" Mar 16, 2020

Show notes

With things changing rapidly thanks to the spread of COVID-19 and the Coronavirus, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to know exactly what to do, how to do it, and for how long? But one thing that remains a constant amidst the chaos is people are flocking to stores for their toilet paper and bottled water...even when they have plenty already on hand, or have filtered water on hand via their taps or refrigerators! Why do we tend to follow the crowd even when we aren’t entirely sure that following them is exactly what works for us personally?

In today’s episode Tony explores why we tend to follow crowds, and whether or not it’s always a good idea? Tony uses Jeremy Nicholson Ph.D.’s article “Should You Do What Everyone Else is Doing” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/persuasion-bias-and-choice/201903/should-you-do-what-everyone-else-is-doing along with “The Science Behind Why People Follow the Crowd” By Rob Henderson

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201705/the-science-behind-why-people-follow-the-crowd as the outline for this episode. And you can watch this episode (audio AND video) on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel here https://youtu.be/ypUPYth00RY please take just a second to subscribe while you're there.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"

Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.

The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Coronavirus Rule #1...Don't Touch Your Face! Why Can't You NOW Stop Touching Your Face? Thought Suppression & Rebound Behaviors Mar 10, 2020

Show notes

With the continued information about the coronavirus coming in almost by the minute, two things have remained consistent...wash your hands long enough to sing the ABC song AND don't touch your face! But for most, simply telling one to not touch their face leads to more face touching, oftentimes significantly more than they would have had they never been instructed to not touch their face in the first place! Why is it so hard to stop touching our faces...no touchy!!! In this episode, Tony tackles the reasons why thought suppression not only doesn't work, but it actually makes the situation worse! Tony references the NBC News article, "Try not to touch your face. Also, try not to think about touching your face." by Kalhan Rosenblatt https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/try-not-touch-your-face-also-try-not-think-about-n1150161 as well as the Psychology Today article "Don't Think About It: Thought Suppression Causes Behavior Rebound" by Ira Hyman Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-mishaps/201009/dont-think-about-it-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Living with a Narcissistic Parent - Tina Fuller, Author of "It's My Turn" Mar 05, 2020

Show notes

Author Tina Fuller joins Tony to talk about her book "It's My Turn" https://amzn.to/2ImIMtk which details her experiences in growing up with a narcissistic mother. The interview covers personality disorders, signs of narcissism, and the negative effects of growing up the child of a narcissistic parent. Tina also shares how to heal from the issues that arise from being raised by a narcissist. Tina can be contacted through her website www.narcissism-answers.com/ Tina also runs a very robust Facebook group with over 55,000 followers called Narcissistic Parent Answers https://www.facebook.com/Narcissistic-Parent-Answers-140962406067146/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Psychological Reactance...You Don't Need to Listen To This Episode, Actually I Wouldn't If I Were You! Mar 02, 2020

Show notes

Simply put, psychological reactance is the instantaneous response that we have when we're told what to do. In business it is often called "change resistance" and in parenting, it's typically referred to as, well, "kids!" Reactance can also be described as "reverse psychology." But why does it flow from us so instantaneously? Why, in some situations, can someone even be telling us something that would ultimately be for our benefit but we feel a need to lash out with a firm "no, you don't understand, that won't work for me?" And per Tony's early admonition on this episode, you can skip to 9 mins 10 seconds in to skip directly to the discussion on reactance.

Today Tony tackles the topic of psychological reactance and bases the discussion on a couple of interesting articles on the subject. First is an article titled simply "Reactance" from http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/social-influence/reactance/ and "Don't Tread On Me! Psychological Reactance as Omnipresent" by Ryan Smerek Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/learning-work/201712/don-t-tread-me-psychological-reactance-omnipresent

Tony mentioned two recent podcast appearances in the beginning of the episode, you can find his episode "Tony Overbay, Virtual Couch Podcast and Porn Addiction" on Nikki Eisenhauer's Emotional Badass here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tony-overbay-virtual-couch-interview-and-porn-addiction/id1363543523?i=1000467191010 and Tony's interview on Brannon Patrick's new podcast "Ask Brannon Anything" titled "Faith Crisis & Relationships" here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/faith-crisis-relationships/id1500794877?i=1000467024231

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Ginger Elizabeth Hahn, World Renowned Chocolatier on Battling Roadblocks, Postpartum Depression, Fighting Childhood Cancer w/St. Baldricks Feb 27, 2020

Show notes

When Ginger Hahn, the founder of Ginger Elizabeth Chocolates' daughter was only 6 days old she had an intestinal bypass. According to Ginger, "It was the worst 2 weeks of my life in that hospital. Walking to the cafeteria every day I would walk past the oncology pediatrics wing at Sutter Sacramento. I was grateful to not be on that wing with my baby but so many kids were. I want to do this to give back to those kids who give so much hope and inspiration to others while fighting this terrible disease."-So Ginger is shaving her head with St. Baldrick's to raise money and help conquer kids' cancers and she needs your help! Every 2 minutes a child is diagnosed with cancer worldwide, and 1 in 5 of those in the U.S. will not survive. Ginger said that she refuses to accept this reality, so she's decided to fundraise for lifesaving research to find cures and better treatments for kids. You can help Ginger by donating on her behalf to St. Baldricks here https://www.stbaldricks.org/donate/participant/1058309/2020?amount=50&donation_type=donate_once-In this episode, Ginger talks about balancing a growing business in her 20’s with the demands of motherhood, and her battles with severe postpartum depression, and, at times, crippling anxiety. But Ginger never gave up and found herself needing to open up to others, and learn how to be vulnerable, and seek help, something that didn’t come naturally to a driven, entrepreneur. You can learn more about Ginger, and order her world-famous chocolates at https://gingerelizabeth.com/-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

A New Approach to Treating Trauma - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) with Lora Abraham, LCSW Feb 25, 2020

Show notes

Lora Abraham, LCSW and a former high school classmate of Tony's, uses EMDR to treat clients who present with a variety of types of trauma. What is EMDR? From the EMDR Institute: EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound. If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes. Lora referenced receiving her training in EMDR through the Maiberger Institute https://maibergerinstitute.com/ Anyone seeking more information on EMDR or who are interested in receiving EMDR certification and/or training please visit the Maiberger Institute for more information.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS - Navigating a Faith Journey/Crisis, Fowler’s Stages of Faith, Truth, Beauty, and Goodness Feb 21, 2020

Show notes

For many, a faith community, or religious congregation, is a safe place to return regularly to be spiritually fed before heading back to an often chaotic world. But what happens when that previously “safe” community begins to feel like a place where one is no longer welcome? Is the problem with the individual, or with the community, or congregation? If you are a parent to someone who is experiencing a faith crisis, what do you do? Are there certain things that you say that seem to trigger emotional responses that appear to come out of nowhere? If you’re the one experiencing the “faith crisis” how do you communicate with your family or faith community?-Tony explores this topic from a variety of angles, from empathy, and Christlike love, to explore what it means to judge righteously, and why identifying as someone more connected to Truth, Beauty, or Goodness matters? And finally, Tony discusses James Fowler’s Stages of Faith, and how understanding where you are, or where a loved one may be, can help bring more peace, and understanding, into a relationship where a belief system is at the core of the disagreements.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

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