The Unlovely Truth

Is There a Serial Killer Gene? Jul 18, 2023

Have you ever been told that you're musically gifted because your family's just like that. It's a genetic thing. Kind of like my high cholesterol. Thanks, family. Well, what if there was a serial killer gene?

Welcome to another episode of The Unlovely Truth. I’m your host, private investigator Lori Morrison. Join me for another captivating true crime story, where physical, spiritual, and emotional safety takeaways are waiting for us. If you are listening, I believe you have a unique calling—to become a different kind of PI, not a typical private investigator, but a person of impact!

This is Season 4, Episode 29. Our book this week is The Murder Gene and we’re so blessed to have its author, Karen Spears Zacharias, as our guest.

I want to investigate Exodus 34:6-7 from the New Living Translation this week.

The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, “Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. But I do not excuse the guilty. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren; the entire family is affected— even children in the third and fourth generations.”

This is one of the most quoted passages in the Bible, being referenced in other passages over 20 times. God is proclaimed to be amazingly loving and forgiving. Then comes the “but”. He is also just and unwilling to simply overlook sin. He forgives, yes - but there must be consequences for sin. I chose this translation because I love how it explains that when someone sins, the entire family is affected. I often talk about the ripple effects of sins and that certainly applies here. The idea that there may exist a so-called “murder gene” immediately made me think of this passage in a new way. What if that effect is more than just having people look at us differently, judging us for a relatives’ misdeeds? What if those misdeeds themselves affect how our genetic code expresses itself? Could that be one layer of God’s intended meaning here?

He knew all about the science of this WAY before we ever discovered it, so I think it’s certainly possible. Let me know what you think! Send me an email a lori@theunlovelytruth.com or message me on social media. I love it when people are willing to have those hard, but impactful conversations!

Visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

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Read an article on the "murder gene"

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Too Young to Kill: Helping Teenagers Headed for Trouble Jul 11, 2023

Twenty years is a long time to keep a secret. Especially when dozens of people know what it is. So let me ask you a question about this particular secret: should we ever say a murder victim had it coming?

Welcome to another episode of The Unlovely Truth. I’m your host, private investigator Lori Morrison. Join me for another captivating true crime story, where physical, spiritual, and emotional safety takeaways are waiting for us. If you are listening, I believe you have a unique calling—to become a different kind of PI, not a typical private investigator, but a person of impact!

This is Season 4, Episode 28. Our Little Secret by Kevin Flynn and Rebecca Lavoie and it shares the story of Daniel Paquette's murder in New Hampshire. It became a cold case, remaining a secret between two high school friends. But teenagers grow up and loyalties change. Our guest today is Eric Schwalbach and he’s going to talk about how to support kids so they aren’t thinking these drastic actions are the only options available to them. They didn’t create the situation they were stuck in but they still had to deal with it.

Let’s take a look this week at Matthew 18:6 NIrV

What if someone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin?

If they do, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck

and be drowned at the bottom of the sea.

I always thought this would be an awesome verse to paint in a children’s wing at church. It so plainly expresses the importance of children to Jesus. They are vulnerable, and we are to be their protectors. So many of the kids in today’s case and that our guest Eric Schwalbach mentors have not been treated well by adults. It’s like they have had millstones put around their necks then been told they need to swim better. There are so many ways to make a difference in kids' lives. Does your local school need volunteers to tutor or just hang out and be a positive influence? I know that churches are always looking for volunteers in the children and youth ministries. You may be able to lead a Bible study in a juvenile detention center. They don’t need anything fancy - just someone to show up, and show them the love of Jesus by telling them that they matter to Him, and they matter to you.

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who shared fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.

If you liked this week’s episode, you’ll want to check this episode out:

Teen Violence: Facing Our Fears to Make an Impact

Visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Link to buy Our Little Secret

Find Eric on LinkedIn

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Recommendations from Eric:

Why I know that the love of the Holy Spirit can heal UNSEEN SCARS!

https://youtu.be/D431YOBomQc

If the village steps up, we can raise a child!

https://youtu.be/hmNSSgSVJP4

If we don't help them then who will?

https://youtu.be/oGVPc1Ippjk

It's not about the 99 sheep, it is the one lost sheep that keeps me striving for a better system.

https://youtu.be/gNQp95QZjPk

Here is the story that explains how young kids did not make the choice to be abused or abandoned. Then they self medicate to cope and numb the pain.

https://prisonwriters.com/95-of-prisoners-i-know-were-molested-as-a-child/

The New Year Murder of Staff Sgt. Jessica Ann Mitchell Jul 04, 2023

The family soldier in the U.S. army needs our help and you don’t even have to leave your house to do it. Even tough, highly trained members of our armed forces can be at risk in this broken world. But somebody knows what happened, and I’m calling on you to help me spread the word so justice can be done.

Welcome to another episode of The Unlovely Truth. I’m your host, private investigator Lori Morrison. Join me for another captivating true crime story, where physical, spiritual, and emotional safety takeaways are waiting for us. If you are listening, I believe you have a unique calling—to become a different kind of PI, not a typical private investigator, but a person of impact!

This is Season 4, Episode 27. This episode will drop on the Fourth of July, Independence Day, so we’re going to investigate the unsolved murder of Staff Sgt. Jessica Ann Mitchell. After ringing in the New Year with friends at the 4th Quarter Sports Bar on the northwest side of San Antonio, Texas, Staff Sgt. Mitchell was found shot to death in her car on Interstate 10 near the Vance Jackson Road exit. Let’s help get justice for someone who served our country to protect our freedom.

I want to dig a little deeper into the crime of online stalking. According to a 2021 article from the Pew Research Center, 41% of American adults have experienced online harassment. They compared numbers from 2017, 2019, and 2021 and the numbers keep increasing. The vast majority of people who have experienced online abuse said it happened on social media. Here are some other findings from Pew that really stood out to me:

the share of women who report being sexual harassed online has doubled since 2017
adults under thirty are the age group most likely to be harassed online
about one-in-five Americans who have been harassed online say it was because of their religion

Did being stalked online have anything to do with Jessica’s murder? We don’t know that for sure at this point, but it’s interesting to note that the UK based crimetraveller.org, “new research has found in a total of 358 murder cases with a male perpetrator and female victim, a staggering 94% showed stalking behavior involved in the period before the killing.” Here in the U.S., every state has laws against stalking in the physical world. But a handful of states still don’t! Be sure you check to see what laws your state has passed. There are also federal laws but those typically have to include an actual threat, and wouldn’t necessarily cover online behavior that is harassing absent a concrete threat.

The Supreme Court dealt future victims of stalking a huge blow last week. I want to give you my understanding of what this means and my concerns, and I’d love for you to share yours! Email me or send me a message on social media. But we’ll use these platforms for good! The U.S. Supreme Court is, of course, the last stop for an appeal of a lower court decision. The appeal that the Court was hearing was a case where a Colorado man had been convicted of stalking a songwriter by sending her hundreds of direct messages on Facebook. She never responded to the messages she said were “creepy”. Her stalker seemed to show that he was watching her in real time, commenting on where she was and what vehicle she was driving. This went on for two years and ironically, he commented that he didn’t think their relationship was healthy because she wouldn’t talk to him. He didn’t want to acknowledge that they didn’t have a relationship at all! He also told her that “You’re not being good for human relations. Die. Don’t need you.”

After being found guilty of stalking, he was sentenced to four and a half years in prison. In his appeals, his attorneys have argued that his conviction violated his right to free speech. We all know that first amendment protections are not absolute. That’s why we can sue people who slander or defame us. The issue here seems to be whether speech becomes a threat when the person hearing feels threatened, or the person saying it intended the words as a threat. It’s a fine line, isn’t it?

A lot of these kinds of issues are decided on the reasonable person standard. In other words, how would a reasonable person interpret these words? I consider myself a reasonable person, and I would definitely have felt threatened. Why else would this man have said what he did so persistently over such an extended period of time. It’s like I say in my book, when someone tells you who they are, believe them. He was telling her over and over that he was a dangerous person.

Something that you may not realize is that the Supreme Court does not have to hear every case that asks for review. One factor they consider is whether a ruling in a case could have broad influence over other similar cases. So the reasoning used to reach this decision could spill over and harm other cases where a victim’s rights are at stake.

This story isn’t over yet. The Court said that the case must be retried using a different standard to decide this man’s guilt - did he think that his messages were threatening. I think that could make it much harder to convict anyone in these types of cases. But I hope that we can counter that by educating people that stalking is not a nuisance crime but a very serious offense.

If you or anyone you know has someone sending unwanted, intrusive, or threatening messages via social media, but sure that you capture them with screenshots or a screen recording. Make police aware of what is happening and send them copies of all messages this person sends. Don’t advertise on social media where you are because it makes you much too easy to follow.

Jessica’s family said that she was on social media frequently the night she was murdered. You know that doesn’t mean that she is in any way to blame for what happened to her. But we can honor her life by drawing that safety take away from her story.

Jesus taught that the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbors as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39). Nobody wants to be stalked. The problem is that obsession is not love. Making someone feel afraid is not love. First Peter 5:8 says, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Sounds a lot like an obsessed stalker to me.

The book of Jeremiah was written to a people in exile. Prophets often warned of God’s judgment. Here, leadership has failed the people resulting in widespread injustice. But Jeremiah also had a message of hope. In chapter 29 verses 10-14a, we read:

This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.

If you’ve been stalked, you know a bit of what it’s like to be in exile. You can’t live your life quite like you used to. You don’t assume that you are always safe. Yet God spoke to a group of captives in exile and told them He had plans for them - good plans! They had a hope and a future - in Him. That doesn’t mean we won’t ever experience pain or sadness. Jesus told us that in this life we would have troubles, but to take heart! He has overcome the world. Notice that He didn’t say He was getting ready to, but that He already Has. I hope that you are able to feel safer and more secure today because of that promise.

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who shared fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.

Previous episodes about stalking:

Season 3, Episode 4: Whisper of Fear: The True Story of the Prosecutor Who Stalks the Stalkers

Season 3, Episode 3: How Do You Recognize a Stalker? "A Tangled Web" by Leslie Rule (Part 2)

Season 3, Episode 2: When Stalking Turns Violent: "A Tangled Web" by Leslie Rule

Season 3, Episode 1: When Stalking Invades Your Life: The True Story of Skylar Galloway

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

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Any person having information regarding this incident should contact Army CID at 210-221-1050. Information can also be reported anonymously to CID Crime Tips at their website. San Antonio Police Department Homicide Unit at 210-207-7635 or Crime Stoppers San Antonio at 210-224-STOP (210-224-7867).

Red Flags in Relationships Part 3: The Murder of Michelle Young, Trial #2 Jun 27, 2023

At Jason Young’s 2nd trial for the murder of his wife Michelle, everyone’s cards were on the table. He’d been held responsible for Michelle’s death at a civil trial and the jury was hung at his 1st criminal trial. The information was all out there now. Would the prosecution do a better job with it this time?

Welcome to another episode of The Unlovely Truth. I’m your host, private investigator Lori Morrison. Join me for another captivating true crime story, where physical, spiritual, and emotional safety takeaways are waiting for us. If you are listening, I believe you have a unique calling—to become a different kind of PI, not a typical private investigator, but a person of impact! Discover how you can easily step into this role and make a profound difference in someone's life.

This is Season 4, Episode 26. This week we are wrapping up our three part series on Murder on Birchleaf Drive: The True Story of the Michelle Young Murder Case. The host of Murder Shelf Book Club Podcast, my friend Jill McCracken, is joining us again with more fascinating takes on this case. So let’s dive into our story at the intersection of faith and true crime!

In last week’s episode, we talked about the first attempt by prosecutors to get justice for Michelle Young and her loved ones. It didn’t exactly go as planned, because they didn’t really plan so well. The are the authorities we look to to keep us safe and get justice for victims. How do we handle it when it seems like they are falling down on the job?

Let's take a look at Romans 13:1-7 (NLT)

Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience. Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.

I dogged prosecutors pretty hard last week for not being prepared, but this time justice was finally served. It’s certainly not always easy to get. That’s why I wanted to talk about this passage today. God wants us to give respect to those in authority. They are human just like we are and they do make mistakes. And some do make terrible decisions which is why it’s so important for us to support candidates for office who have proven that they have good character and a strong work ethic. And when we have information that authorities need to do their jobs, we need to be honest and forthcoming.

I hope we can all find a way to give some assistance or honor to a public servant this week and bless them if it’s in our power to do so. If they don’t do their jobs and if we don’t help them, many victims and their families will not find justice.

I know you’ve heard me say this before but it’s such an important point: I share these stories because they contain important takeaways for us ll. Even if you think that something will never happen to you, or that a serious safety issue couldn’t possibly exist at your church or your workplace, you need to be ready if it does. I hope that listening to the podcast, reading my books, and looking into my soon to be available church safety training resources make you as prepared as you can be.

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests and you won’t want to miss their insights. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.

In case you missed them, you can listen to part 1 here, and part 2 here.

Visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities.

If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

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Red Flags in Relationships Part 2: The Murder of Michelle Young, Trial #1 Jun 20, 2023

After Jason Young was indicted for the murder of his pregnant wife Michelle, it was time to let a jury decide what had really happened in the early morning hours of November 3rd, 2006. He’d already been held responsible for Michelle’s death in a civil case and had even given up custody of his 2 year old daughter Cassidy to avoid answering questions about Michelle’s death under oath. Would he choose to testify in his own defense in a criminal trial?

Welcome to another episode of The Unlovely Truth. I’m your host, private investigator Lori Morrison. Join me for another captivating true crime story, where physical, spiritual, and emotional safety takeaways are waiting for us. If you are listening, I believe you have a unique calling—to become a different kind of PI, not a typical private investigator, but a person of impact! Discover how you can easily step into this role and make a profound difference in someone's life.

This is Season 4, Episode 25. Our book this week, like last, is “Murder on Birchleaf Drive: The True Story of the Michelle Young Murder Case”. The host of Murder Shelf Book Club Podcast, my friend Jill McCracken, is joining us again with more fascinating takes on this case. So let’s dive into our story at the intersection of faith and true crime!

This week's Scripture passage is Matthew 24:42-44 AMP “So be alert [give strict attention, be cautious and active in faith], for you do not know which day [whether near or far] your Lord is coming. But understand this: If the head of the house had known what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into. Therefore, you [who follow Me] must also be ready; because the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not expect Him."

I love it when the Bible gets so practical to acknowledge the real issues we face in this world and uses them to illustrate eternal truths. We can all understand the idea that we have to take common sense security precautions against thieves because they don’t advertise when and where they are going to strike. We also do not and cannot know the exact moment of Christ’s return. Regardless of what some preacher or cult leader might try to tell you, no one knows when Jesus is coming back so we have always have to be ready for it to happen.

Applying this lesson of always being ready to today’s episode brings me to the prosecutors responsible for getting justice for Michelle. I couldn’t find any solid research on how often defendants on trial for murder chose to testify in their own defense. But the mere fact that Jason COULD choose to do that seems to me to mean you have to prepare for trial as though he is going to do just that.

Here’s another way to look at it. I’m almost certain that my house isn’t going to burn down today. In fact, I’m pretty sure based on the fact that I only know one person whose house has actually burned down that mine probably won’t. Ever. Yet I still have fire insurance on my house. Why would I do that if I didn’t think I’d ever need it? Because I know that if I’m wrong and I do have a house fire, my losses would be so catastrophic that I won’t take that risk.

The prosecutors should have looked at their preparation for Jason’s trial the same way. Even if they were 99.9% sure that he would not testify, the consequences of being unprepared if he did could be catastrophic. And it’s Michelle’s family that would’ve paid the price, not the prosecutors.

That’s why I share these stories. Even if you think that something will never happen to you, or that a serious safety issue couldn’t possibly exist at your church or your workplace, you need to be ready if it does. I hope that listening to the podcast, reading my books, and looking into my soon to be available church safety training resources make you as prepared as you can be.

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests and you won’t want to miss their insights. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review. In case you missed it, you can listen to part 1 here.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities.

If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

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Red Flags in Relationships Part 1: The Murder of Michelle Young Jun 13, 2023

What would you think if your significant other asked to have a relationship with another person “on the side”? I think most of us would see that as a huge red flag, but Michelle Young didn’t. Maybe she was so used to her husband’s immaturity and callous disregard for her feelings that it seemed like business as usual. If only she’d taken another look and seen the man she married for who he really was, maybe she could have escaped what he planned for her.

Welcome to another episode of The Unlovely Truth. I’m your host, private investigator Lori Morrison. Join me for another captivating true crime story, where physical, spiritual, and emotional safety takeaways are waiting for us. If you are listening, I believe you have a unique calling—to become a different kind of PI, not a typical private investigator, but a person of impact! Discover how you can easily step into this role and make a profound difference in someone's life. This is Season 4, Episode 24. Our book this week is “Murder on Birchleaf Drive: The True Story of the Michelle Young Murder Case”. Our guest this week is the host of Murder Shelf Book Club Podcast, my friend Jill McCracken. Let’s dive into our story at the intersection of faith and true crime!

This week I want to talk a bit about 2 Timothy 3:1-5 from the Contemporary English Version:

You can be certain that in the last days there will be some very hard times. People will love only themselves and money. They will be proud, stuck-up, rude, and disobedient to their parents. They will also be ungrateful, godless, heartless, and hateful. Their words will be cruel, and they will have no self-control or pity. These people will hate everything good. They will be sneaky, reckless, and puffed up with pride. Instead of loving God, they will love pleasure. Even though they will make a show of being religious, their religion won't be real. Don't have anything to do with such people.

Sometimes we have trouble reading people because no one is 100 percent good or 100 percent bad. But Paul is teaching us in this passage the red flags we need to be on the lookout for. Jason Young certainly exhibited a lot of the behaviors from this passage. He certainly showed by his actions that he loved himself and money more than he loved Michelle. He made rude and hateful comments to her in front of others on a regular basis. Everyone who knew him saw his reckless and impulsive side.

For our own safety, Paul tells us very plainly to have nothing to do with people like this! Of course, I’m not blaming Michelle. No one ever deserves to be treated the way Jason treated her. My hope is that we can all find takeaways in her story to apply to our own lives, and to share with people we love. Even if we aren’t in the kind of physical danger that Michelle was, we still don’t want someone with such negative traits to influence our behavior or our children’s. Our emotional and spiritual safety is too precious to let them be under constant attack. If you need some help in this area, please reach out to me privately and I’ll help you get connected to resources that can help you.

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests and you won’t want to miss their insights. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities.

If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

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Season 4, Episode 23: Rescued for a Reason Update Jun 06, 2023

Today's episode is crazy special. We get to be updated on an amazing story from last season. Larry and Connie Van Oosten were looking forward to a quiet retirement in the small, peaceful town of Erie, Illinois. They’d worked hard and planned well. Little did they know that a man had spent over a year and a half working hard on a plan to kidnap and terrorize them to get to their hard-earned retirement savings. They had an unshakable faith in God that helped them survive the ordeal, but would it be enough to help them stay strong once they realized the kidnapper was someone they knew?

This is Season 4, Episode 23. Our book this week is Rescued For a Reason and our guests are Connie and Larry VanOosten. I’m going to quickly recap their story but you can listen more in depth by following these links to listen to the two part episode that describes their story more in depth:

Season 3, Episode 21: Where is Your God Now, Part 1: The Kidnapping

Season 3, Episode 22: Where is Your God Now, Part 2: The Aftermath

We all want to believe that we are safe in our home, and usually we are. The problem is that we don’t always get a warning when that is going to change. That's why I wrote “In God We Trust, Everyone Else Gets a Background Check”. It will be available on June 27th and I’ve packed it full of practical tips, bible verses, and encouragement. Make sure you listen to next week’s episode when I’ll read a short passage so you can get a taste of what it’s all about.

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NLT

I know this sounds Pretty straightforward, but of course, this is hyperbole. I’m not suggesting that we can lose our salvation if we are struggling to forgive someone. But I am suggesting that we consider how harboring a spirit of unforgiveness puts distance between us and God. It strains our relationship. Forgiveness is a lot of things but first and foremost it is an act of obedience. We often think it is a feeling that must develop before we can apply it. I know I’ve been guilty of that myself.

Multiple researchers have shown that smiling, even when we don’t feel like it, can make a difference in our physical well-being. Just Google “research about how smiling makes you happy” to see it all. The act influences the feeling just as much as the feeling influences the act. That’s how we should approach forgiveness in really tough situations. If we forgive even when we don’t feel like it, that conscious act of obedience will soften our hearts and allow God to minister to us even more deeply.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities.

If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

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S4E22: Murderous Mom: A Story of Betrayal May 30, 2023

If you feel like you could have done a better job as a mom, and I’m pretty sure we all feel that way sometimes, I’ll guarantee you you did a better job than Diane Downs. If watching an episode of Hoarders makes you feel pretty good about how clean your house actually is - listening to this episode will make you feel like Mother of the Year.

This is Season 4, Episode 22. Our book this week is Small Sacrifices by Ann Rule. We’ll also take a look at a mom who is wanted for the murder of her 5 year old son. It’s hard to imagine that a mom could ever do something so evil, but according to a 2016 article by Phillip Resnick, a professor of psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, the United States has the highest rate of child murder among developed nations, and the most common perpetrator of child homicide is a parent. In fact, about 2.5% of all homicide arrests in the United States are for parents who have killed their children.

I know that is very disturbing, but when we look into these cases, when we hear these stories, I believe we can learn something that could help us save potential victims. It’s been too long since we’ve done an Ann Rule book and I think this is one of the most disturbing cases she covered. It’s the story of a mother who seemed so emotionally disconnected from her children that when they got in the way of the life she wanted, she decided they were expendable.

None of us wants to think about a mother hurting their children, but it happens more often than we think. We believe certain people can always be trusted - moms, police officers, teachers, coaches, pastors. That’s one big reason that I’m getting ready to release my latest book “In God We Trust - Everyone Else Gets a Background Check”. It’s a very practical look at why we trust too easily, who we trust too easily, and how we can learn to trust properly. Now let’s take a look at another mom who police say murdered her own child, and they need your help to find her.

You may remember the story from the Old Testament where the people of Israel ask the prophet Samuel to find them a king. Things had not gone so well in the era of the judges, so they decided having a king like other nations would be a good idea. So, guided by God, Samuel gives the people a tall, handsome man named Saul to be their king. Unfortunately, even though Saul looks the part of a great leader, he has some major character flaws. He disobeys God’s commands, and so God says the people must have a new king, a humble and obedient king. God tells Samuel to go to Bethlehem to find a man named Jesse.

Samuel saw Jesse’s oldest son Eliab, he assumed that this was the man destined to be Israel’s new king. But let’s read God’s response:

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by a man’s face or height, for this is not the one. I don’t make decisions the way you do! Men judge by outward appearance, but I look at a man’s thoughts and intentions.” 1 Samuel 16:7 TLB

Predators try so hard to take on the appearance of someone who is trustworthy and full of good works. They want to impress us. We have to remember that we don’t know what a person is really like from the way they look, the words they say, or how awesome they seem on social media. We need to learn to assess a person’s trustworthiness by looking, as God does, by what’s on the inside.

I know you’re probably thinking that we can’t know a person’s thoughts and intentions the way God does, and you’re right. But all of us let who we really are leak out in things we say and do. You can know what’s on my heart by watching closely what I say and what I do. Little inconsistencies aren’t to be seen as fluke things, but as my true nature leaking out! It drives me crazy when a high profile criminal is caught and the media starts interviewing neighbors. These people will say that the guy seemed so nice, there were no red flags, then they will say “but”, and describe things they explained away because they didn’t want to think the worst. Those red flags are the true nature of someone leaking out!

This is so important so I will say it again - Red flags in things people say or do are not exceptions to their character, they are expressions of their character. When someone shows you and tells you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. And if they are a caregiver for someone, please alert the authorities and have them do a welfare check. We have to look out for the vulnerable people God has placed in our community.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Grab a copy of Small Sacrifices

Watch the 20/20 episode

Listen to Season 3, Episode 46: The Meaning of Discernment and Keeping Kids Safe

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Season 4, Episode 21: Playing Doctor - A Offender Hiding In Plain Sight May 23, 2023

Imagine a man who sees himself as so incredibly righteous that even the small town Baptist church that he founded might be a bit too liberal for him. That was Dr. John Huntington Story of Lovell, Wyoming. The town had a population of just under 2500 people and one traffic light. It also had a monster who molested hundreds of women and girls as young as three years old. More than 20 years after the monster was finally caged, the town is still divided on who the real monster was.

This is Season 4, Episode 21. Our book this week is “Doc: The Rape of the Town of Lovell” by legendary true crime author Jack Olsen and our guest is Beth Hoel, founder of BHG Consulting Group. She has been a member of the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers since 2017 and serves on the Governor’s Commission to Prevent Violence Against Women in Arizona. We’ll talk to her in just a bit, but first we are going to investigate this week’s case.

Just like John Story was eventually released from prison, so are the majority of people convicted of crimes. Beth is dedicated to ending generational abuse within families who have experienced the hardship and trauma resulting from sexually abusive behavior. Amazingly, she works with both victims and offenders to make communities safer for us all. I know you’ll find her work as impactful as I did.

Isaiah 59:14-15 Common English Bible says this:

Justice is pushed aside; righteousness stands far off, because truth has stumbled in the public square, and honesty can’t enter. Truth is missing; anyone turning from evil is plundered. The Lord looked and was upset at the absence of justice.

Not much has changed since Isaiah’s time has it? Justice and righteousness still seem far away at times. But this isn’t what God wants! Not everyone welcomes the truth being made known, but the truth is always worth telling. Even an Unlovely Truth. Maybe especially an Unlovely Truth. How else can we hold people accountable and get justice for hurting people? It can be very hard to share traumatic experiences we have or information about a crime. Let people know that you are someone who will listen to their story and give them no judgment or shame. If you have a story to tell and don’t think you have any safe people in your circle, please know that you can share with me.

Highlights from this episode include:

Gain tips for teaching your children what an unsafe person might say or try to do
Learn how a holistic approach to sexual abuse helps address the fact that most convicted offenders will re-enter society
Be challenged to let people know you are a safe person to disclose abuse to

If you like this episode, listen to Season 3, Episode 28: Not MY Son

Visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Grab your own copy of Doc

Check out Beth’s work here

Read more about sexual abuse by medical professionals

Check out Beth and Missy Talk on YouTube

Get Dr. Anna Salter’s book Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Offenders (fair warning - I’ve read this book and while it’s extremely informative, their are some graphic portions)

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Season 4, Episode 20: Rape Statistics Don’t Tell the Whole Story: Rape Victims Do May 16, 2023

Can you imagine experiencing a devastating trauma, having to tell all of the hurtful details to strangers, only to face judgment, criticism and even blame? Too often, that’s what rape victims go through. It’s not just the criminal court system. What if when you tried to have criminal charges brought, your attacker sued you in civil court?

We are going to investigate a shocking true crime story to see what spiritual and safety takeaways we can find. Both our case and our guest today overcame systems that seemed stacked against them. These stories will show us ways each of us can be a different kind of PI - a person of impact. It's so much easier to do that than you might think.

Our book this week is Know My Name by Chanel Miller and our guest is Witlee Ethan. Let’s dive into this disturbing yet hopeful case. I won’t get too graphic but we will be discussing sexual assault and rape, so please use your discretion when listening to our sharing this episode.

Highlights from this episode include:

Men that the world sees as good people can still commit evil acts
Women who have less than perfect lives can still be victims
Victims of sexual assault desperately want to feel clean and a non-profit called Her Well addresses this problem with compassion, love, and practical support

Dive a little deeper into Deuteronomy 16:18-20 In Deuteronomy, Moses emphasizes the importance of making a daily choice between pursuing our own wants or obeying God's commands. Individual responsibility is critical, but we all are also part of a larger community. We have to look out for ourselves but we cannot neglect looking out for others as well. Let’s dive a little deeper into Deuteronomy 16:18-20 from the Contemporary English Version:

Moses is speaking to Israel, and he says: “After you are settled in the towns that you will receive from the Lord your God, the people in each town must appoint judges and other officers. Those of you that become judges must be completely fair when you make legal decisions, even if someone important is involved. Don't take bribes to give unfair decisions. Bribes keep people who are wise from seeing the truth and turn honest people into liars. People of Israel, if you want to enjoy a long and successful life, make sure that everyone is treated with justice in the land the Lord is giving you.”

It’s easy to look at these verses and put the responsibility for justice completely on judges. But notice that it’s the people who are appointing these judges! We have to be sure that when we support candidates in any position that we look for people of character - people who will be fair and not give in to corruption. I’m not saying that in either Chanel or Witlee’s case there were any illegal dealings, but there were certainly questionable decisions made. If you get a copy of “Know My Name”, you see how even though Brock Turner was convicted, his sentence was so light that an outraged community had him recalled as a judge. And Witlee is advocating to be sure that cases like hers are dealt with fairly as well. As a community, we have to look out for each other and hold our leaders accountable for their failures.

If you like this episode: Don’t miss Season 4, Episode 4: Surviving: Doing Whatever You Need to Do

Visit my website to access more episodes and read my blog posts. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

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Season 4, Episode 19: Drug Money - When Legal Drugs Have Deadly Consequences May 09, 2023

For two years, twin brothers Chris and Jeff George along with their friend Derik Nolan, ran the largest pain clinic in the United States. They didn’t really care about alleviating people’s pain. They cared about the profits selling opioids could make. Florida’s laws didn’t address the fact that none of the men had any medical training to help addicts. They had no training in counseling to help addicts. They were in it because the money was big. Unfortunately, the addictions the drugs fueled were even bigger.

This week’s guest, Christina Dent, founded End It For Good out of her desire to invite others to listen to the voices directly impacted by our drug laws. She hopes that more people will explore the root causes of drug-related harm and consider a different approach. She is currently writing a book on the research and experiences that changed her mind about the best path forward to help people thrive, even in a world where harmful drugs exist.

Christiana and I had an incredible conversation, and what I learned made me think a lot about 1 Peter 5:8 from the CEV, which says:

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Keeping ourselves sober in the sense of being clear minded applies to us all. The enemy of our souls is actively searching for ways to destroy us like the lions we see on the Discovery Channel. They don’t chase after the strongest gazelle in the herd. They want to find one who is weak, who is apart from the support of the herd, and isn’t able to notice the danger they are in until it’s too late. Addiction to ANYTHING can cloud our judgment and make us vulnerable to the evil that is in this world.

I say this a lot when I’m giving safety information to people - criminals are looking for the easiest targets they can find. They don’t want problems, they want to give YOU problems. We have to be watchful like Scripture says, and that’s hard to do when our senses are dulled and we allow ourselves to be distracted. And yes, I said “allowed” ourselves. We can learn to focus on what we really need to and block out all of the rest, like service dogs do. I’ve put a link to a video of dogs being trained to ignore loud noises, toys, and even snacks so they can protect the person they are going to be caring for. Maybe we need the same training to become the best service people we can be! Just for fun, I’ve also put in a link to a service dog in training who we all probably look like at one time or another.

If you were intrigued by this week’s episode, be sure to listen to this one: Season 1, Episode 18: Finding Tess

You can visit my website to access more episodes or read my blog posts. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Buy Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari

Buy In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté

Visit End It For Good and learn more about Christina

Watch Christina’s TEDx talk

Service dog training video

Service dog training fail

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Season 4, Episode 18: Is True Crime “Entertainment” Ethical? May 02, 2023

Are the top true crime podcasts necessarily the most ethical? I read an interesting survey the other day that said that the top two reasons that people listen to podcasts are for entertainment and education. The bottom reason, kind of sadly I think, is for encouragement and inspiration. I will try to give you all of those things on my podcast! That survey made me rethink about looking at true crime podcasts as entertainment and how that made me feel. Was hosting a true crime podcast a good idea, and if it was - how do podcasters ethically share these stories? Today I want to talk about the conclusion I came to AND celebrate other podcasts who are doing it in ways I think fits into a good ethical framework.

It’s the first Tuesday of the month so it’s time to highlight an unsolved case in the hopes that someone listening knows something that will make a difference for the victim’s family. 8-month-old Amiah Robertson was reported missing on March 16, 2019, in Indianapolis, Indiana Her family said they didn’t believe she was in danger - which seems really weird to me since they said she was missing. By March 23rd, police announced that they were from that point forward investigating Amaih’s case as a homicide.

Highlights from this episode include:

• Three recommendations for highly ethical true crime podcasts

• Five ideas to easily make an impact in other’s lives

• One new unsolved case that needs your help

If you liked this episode, check out this previous episode of The Unlovely Truth: Season 3, Episode 48: Twelve Years Gone: Where Are the Skelton Brothers?

Visit my website to access even more episodes or read my blog posts.

To contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Regional Facts and Figures North American Indigenous People

Anyone with information about Amiah’s disappearance is urged to contact the IMPD Homicide Office at 317-327-3475 or call Crime Stoppers of Central Indiana at 317-262-8477 (TIPS).

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Season 4, Episode 17: Teen Violence: Facing Our Fears to Make an Impact Apr 25, 2023

Are you ready to learn how to turn fear into fuel if you find yourself in a sketchy situation?

This topic can positively impact every single person on the planet - I truly believe that.

My guest is Tony Blauer. Coach Blauer has been in the martial art, self-defense, defensive tactics, and combatives industry for over four decades. He founded Blauer Tactical Systems (BTS) in 1985 and it has grown into one of the world's leading consulting companies specializing in the research and development of performance psychology, personal safety, and close-quarter tactics & scenario-based training for law enforcement, military, and professional self-defense instructors.

His research on the neuroscience of fear and the startle-flinch led to the development of the SPEAR System®, a modern personal defense system based on physiology, physics, and psychology. It has been used by defensive tactics and combative trainers all over the world for over 30 years. After decades of interviewing victims of violent encounters and studying violence, he created the KNOW FEAR® program which focuses on managing fear through self-awareness, resiliency, and a 'movement' mindset. This program has also been integrated by psychologists helping Vets to deal with PTSD.

This week’s case centers on two young men who sent up plenty of red flags, but all were ignored. Even when one of them said he was planning to murder someone. Our Scripture this week is 2 Timothy 1:7-8.

Highlights from this episode include:

Learning red flags to look for in teens’ behavior
Discovering how to use fear as fuel
Finding out how to effectively spot danger
Hearing how one woman saved herself from a dangerous situation

If you found great takeaways in this episode, you’ll love this episode:

Season 4, Episode 4: Surviving: Doing Whatever You Need to Do

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Here are some ways to learn more about Tony, and connect with him:

Free guide MAKING FRIENDS WITH FEAR
Tony’s main website
The GARAGE GYM SELF-DEFENSE - Online training with Coach Blauer
ESSENTIALS OF PERSONAL SAFETY - 2-hour LIVE online course
KNOW FEAR podcast
The "BE YOUR OWN BODYGUARD " Publication - Join Coach Blauer's community

Album on Tony’s website

Facebook albums

Instagram personal

Instagram training page

Website

Training Calendar

Bleep Sound Effect courtesy of Pixabay

Season 4, Episode 16: The Decision to Kill: A Teenage Killer and the Mother Who Loved Him by Leslie Ghiglieri Apr 18, 2023

Do you ever ask yourself this: why do I watch the news anymore? TV, print media, and social media make it seem like violent crime is happening all around us, all the time. What irks me is that once the shock factor is over, so few voices are giving us information about how to respond when tragedy does land at our doorstep. Today’s guest is going to do just that.

Each of us who is a parent knows what it’s like to be in a tough season with our kids. We need the support of others who have been there and survived! For all of us who are seasoned parents, I want to challenge us to find a parent who is in a tough season right now, and see if they would be open to you helping them. Whether that’s just being someone who will listen to them when they need to talk, or being more involved - the important thing is that we work together. That’s how we will make our families, our loved ones, and our communities just a little bit safer.

I’m excited that we get to talk to the author of this week’s book, Leslie Ghiglieri. Leslie has a degree in political science and has worked on numerous political campaigns. Her interest in the criminal justice field led her to work as a 911 dispatcher in California. After moving to Oregon, she joined the Josephine County Sheriff’s Department working in the dispatch and warrants divisions for three years, then accepted a position as a field representative for a criminal justice computer system overseeing the needs of seventeen agencies. Now retired, she was able to fulfill the wish of a friend to document the story of her husband’s murder and share a surprising message of encouragement.

Today I want us to dig into a passage from Scripture about loving our enemies. It’s from Matthew 5 verses 43 through 47.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?”

It’s hard to imagine any of our precious children as enemies. But there are times that we feel like we are in a battle together, and we aren’t on the same side. Cherie wasn’t on the same side of the battle as Dwayne, yet she prayed for him. She encouraged him. She loved him. She wasn’t looking for a reward, she was just trying to be obedient.

What a great example for us! And notice what it says in the second half of verse 45; that God sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. We are all going to have tough times in life. We will probably all have tough times with our kids. What we don’t want to do is automatically assume that because they are our kids, their behavior is our responsibility - especially the older they get. We do our best, but they decide how they will behave. If anyone out there is suffering because they have a child making bad choices and they feel responsible - please only take ownership of what you did or didn’t do. Your son or daughter is responsible for the rest.

If you liked this episode, you’ll want to listen to these:

Season 3, Episode 10: Murder in the Family

Season 2, Episode 19: How do I Forgive? "Murder by Family" by Kent Whitaker

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Buy “The Decision to Kill: A True Crime Story of a Teenage Killer and the Mother Who Loved Him” here

Connect with Leslie here

Season 4, Episode 15: Therapist or Sexual Predator? How Do We Learn Who We Can Trust? Apr 11, 2023

We tend to trust people who are in positions of power, or who hold down jobs that are service oriented like a doctor, a pastor, or a therapist. Amy Nordhues trusted her therapist. Everyone in her community loved him. Her friend raved about him. He was an elder at the church she was attending. Amy didn’t know it, but he was also very, very dangerous.

Our book this week is Preyed Upon: Breaking Free from Therapist Abuse and our guest is its author, Amy Nordhues. Amy is an author and speaker who hopes to use her experience both as a new Christian and as a victim of sexual abuse by a therapist/clergy to help, support and educate others. Through the telling of her very personal story she hopes to provide insight into the following: The inner workings of the abuse process of adult victims, how past childhood abuse can make an adult vulnerable to predators and so much more.

I do want to caution everyone that while we won’t be getting graphic, we will be discussing sexual abuse, and abuse by a trusted therapist. Please use your discretion about whether this is an episode that won’t trigger anything for you.

Luke 8:16-18

“Now no one lights a lamp and then covers it with a container [to hide it], or puts it under a bed; instead, he puts it on a lampstand, so that those who come in may see the light. For there is nothing hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come out into the open. So be careful how you listen; for whoever has [a teachable heart], to him more [understanding] will be given; and whoever does not have [a longing for truth], even what he thinks he has will be taken away from him.”

There’s a lot going on here in this short parable. Jesus dives right into what the purpose of a lamp is - to give light to people. What light does is to drive out darkness.

How can we expect people to want to hear the gospel when it comes out that we are hiding and excusing sin? The news is full of stories that involve trusted members of a faith community who are abusing others in secret. Why are we shocked when the world doesn't trust us, when they call us hypocrites? We want to make our churches safe for the people in our congregations, but also for people who have been hurt and aren’t sure where they can find a safe refuge. That’s part of what author Amy Nordhues shared with us today. I hope you’ll take something you’ve learned here and help your church become a light in the darkness in your community.

Can you trust everyone in your church? Not always. Listen here for Season 3, Episode 12: Bitter Jealousy: The Murder that Shocked a Small Town Church

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Buy Amy’s book here

Learn more about Amy here

Buy my book, How to Kick Fear to the Curb: Private Investigator Approved Personal Safety Tips with Biblical Evidence to "Fear Not", here

Season 4, Episode 14: What is a Clear Alert? A Look at Different Alerts and What They Mean Apr 04, 2023

We’ve all been startled by the noise on our phones when an Amber alert is issued near where we are. You’ve probably also heard of Silver alerts, but what about Blue Alerts, Camo Alerts, Clear Alerts or even Feather Alerts? Me neither, so let’s investigate what they all mean.

Sharing alerts is an easy way to be a Person of Impact. Even if you don’t personally have a connection to any alerts that you see, you might have someone in your circle who does. Social media can have positive effects on our society when we use it to share important information like alerts that let us know that someone vulnerable is at risk. While you’re sharing, ask them to share it with their friends, too. If we all work together, we can make our communities safer places for ourselves and our loved ones.

It’s easy to think that we won’t ever need to know about these alerts because they will never affect us or anyone we know. That same false sense of security can creep into our churches as well. We don’t want to believe that sometimes we need an alert there too! Paul shared with the early church some words that we need to apply to our faith communities today. Let’s read Acts 20:28-35:

Keep watch over yourselves. Keep watch over all the believers. The Holy Spirit has made you leaders over them. Be shepherds of God’s church. He bought it with his own blood. I know that after I leave, wild wolves will come in among you. They won’t spare any of the sheep. Even men from your own people will rise up and twist the truth. They want to get the believers to follow them. So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning you. Night and day I warned each of you with tears.

“Now I trust God to take care of you. I commit you to the message about his grace. It can build you up. Then you will share in what God plans to give all his people. I haven’t longed for anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that I have used my own hands to meet my needs. I have also met the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that we must work hard and help the weak. We must remember the words of the Lord Jesus. He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

We need to be on the alert for those wild wolves who try to introduce twisted teaching that can lead to abuses and hurts of all kinds. This was so important to Paul that he warned the early church for three years to the point that he broke down in tears. He has been faithful to shepherd the church, now he is pleading with them to do the same once he leaves.

Too many churches struggle here. When we have so many people who are being hurt in or by the church, how can we expect those who don’t know Jesus to think that we have anything to offer them? Let’s be sure that we are giving more to the church than we are expecting it to give to us. That’s how we are going to keep the wild wolves in check and show our communities that we are safe places for them to come for fellowship and to have their needs met.

If you've got any information on Borges Diaz's whereabouts, please contact the Miami Dade Police Department Special Victims Bureau/Missing Persons Squad at 307-715-3300. You can also call Crimestoppers at 305-471-TIPS. That's 305-471-8477.

Season 3, Episode 48: Twelve Years Gone: Where Are the Skelton Brothers? Listen here.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Want to learn how to keep yourself, your family, and your community safer AND how to not be afraid while doing it? Grab a copy of my book here.

Season 4, Episode 13: Leaving the FLDS, Part 3: Judgment Day Mar 28, 2023

Cult Leader Warren Jeffs was on the run. Stories of abuse from former members of the FLDS were coming to light, including some which could bring criminal charges. In 2006, Warren made the FBI’s Most Wanted List. Even in hiding, Warren was continuing to collect young wives. One of his latest was only 12 years old.

We are wrapping up our deep dive into The Witness Wore Red by Rebecca Musser. She’s an author, activist, mom, and was the 19th wife of Rulon Jeffs, Warren Jeffs’ father. We found some great takeaways from Rebecca’s story over the last two weeks, so if you haven’t listened to those you can follow the links in the show notes to get caught up.

Our Bible passage for this week is 2 Peter 2:1-3:

But [in those days] false prophets arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will subtly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways, and because of them the way of truth will be maligned. And in their greed they will exploit you with false arguments and twisted doctrine. Their sentence [of condemnation which God has decreed] from a time long ago is not idle [but is still in force], and their destruction and deepening misery is not asleep [but is on its way].

I want us to focus in on one particular sentence from this passage. “And in their greed they will exploit you with false arguments and twisted doctrine.” We often associate the word greed with money, and that’s often the focus of people’s greed. But one definition of greed calls it an intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power, or food. In this case, Warren and many other FLDS men showed an insatiable lust for with underage girls, but also for the power and sense of control their actions gave them.

Any of us can be the objects of someone’s desire for control. Even if we willingly join their group or sit under their teaching, they aren’t there to help people but to exploit them as the scripture we read says. Whenever you notice someone in a position of authority who is getting more out of it than the people they are in authority over, that’s a problem that can easily lead to abuse

I’ll bet you or someone you know is in a situation like that right now. And it may not be abusive now, or just not towards you, but we all need to keep our eyes open, and our hearts as well. It’s so easy to deny what we are seeing because we’ve trusted the person who is acting in questionable ways. One thing I’ve learned from working with and talking to people who have had their trust horribly abused is that they are almost never their abuser’s only victim. You aren’t alone, you’re not crazy, you’re not over-reacting. You have the right to share what’s happening with as many people as you need to until you find an ally who can help stop the abuse.

If you’ve dealt with a situation like this, I’d love to hear from you and learn from how you handled it. Shoot an email to lori@theunlovelytruth.com or message me on social media. I put all of the ways you can contact me in the show notes.

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who gave me fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

You can also connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.

If you want to listen to another episode about cults, check out this link:

Season 1, Episode 49: Without a Prayer

Listen to parts 1 & 2:

Season 4, Episode 11: Leaving the FLDS, Part 1: How Do You Spot False Teachings?

Season 4, Episode 12: Leaving the FLDS, Part 2: Control and Abuse

Buy The Witness Wore Red and check out Rebecca Musser’s website

Get Your Copy of my book here

Find other helpful information at:

Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (GRACE)

daretodoubt.org,

Article from Mary DeMuth and

Relevant Magazine article

Season 4, Episode 12: Leaving the FLDS, Part 2: Control and Abuse Mar 21, 2023

Have you ever brought up a concern in your church, only to be labeled as an enemy of the faith? Do your leaders exhibit a troubling lack of humility? Are you sure you would recognize spiritual abuse if you saw it?

Our book this week is The Witness Wore Red by Rebecca Musser. She’s an author, activist, mom, and was the 19th wife of Rulon Jeffs, Warren Jeffs’ father. This is part 2 of a three-part deep dive on this case. We found some great takeaways from Rebecca’s story last week so if you haven’t listened to that one you can follow the link in the show notes to get caught up on Rebecca’s growing up years - the ones before Warren Jeff’s took control of the cult.

Cults have always fascinated me. From the outside looking in, we wonder how people could believe some of what we see as outrageous teachings. Some are born into the teaching and know nothing else. Others, searching for meaning, fulfillment, and community, willing go along with teachings that are contrary to Scripture. As believers, instead of shunning people who are different or are seeking, we need to engage with them. If you haven’t seen the movie Jesus Revolution, I highly recommend it. A clash of cultures could’ve been a disaster if not for a handful of people who were willing to look past external differences to share the love of God.

This week, let’s investigate John 8:3-11:

As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

When I’ve listened to this passage being taught, the emphasis is usually on Jesus’s interaction with the woman, or how he puts the Pharisees in their place. But I want us to focus on verses 6 and 7. Picture the scene. A crowd had once again gathered to hear Jesus teach - at the temple no less. The place where the teachers of the law and the Pharisees were used to being in charge. In the spotlight.

So they tried to trap Jesus. They weren’t interested in upholding the law, and they certainly weren’t thinking about how they could help the woman live a God-honoring life. They wanted to take down someone they saw as a threat to their power and control. They were committing spiritual abuse.

When Jesus didn’t take their bait, they continued to ask over and over whether the woman should be stoned or not. When he finally gave his famous answer that the one who was without sin could cast the first stone, they walked away. They couldn’t accept corrective teaching. Remember, they were at the temple. Their turf. But they were willing to walk away rather than even consider that Jesus could be right, and they could be wrong.

If you have leaders like that in your church, or at your workplace, or in any type of relationship - I want to ask you to check out links to the resources I’ve put in the show notes. If you are experiencing spiritual abuse, I want you to have information to help you address it. I’m no expert, but you can certainly reach out to me as well and I will do what I can to put you in touch with the help you need.

If you’ve dealt with a situation like this, I’d love to hear from you and learn from how you handled it. Shoot an email to lori@theunlovelytruth.com or message me on social media. I put all of the ways you can contact me below.

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who gave me fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five-star rating and a nice review.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

You can also connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.

If you want to listen to another episode about cults, check out this link:

Season 1, Episode 49: Without a Prayer

Listen to part 1:

Season 4, Episode 11: Leaving the FLDS, Part 1: How Do You Spot False Teachings?

Buy The Witness Wore Red and check out Rebecca Musser’s website

Find other helpful information at daretodoubt.org, https://www.marydemuth.com/spiritual-abuse-10-ways-to-spot-it/ and https://relevantmagazine.com/faith/church/its-time-address-spiritual-abuse-church/

Season 4, Episode 11: Leaving the FLDS, Part 1: How Do You Spot False Teachings? Mar 14, 2023

If you had been told all through your childhood that people outside your faith are plotting to hurt you, you might feel safer sticking close to people who believe just like you do, even if you knew that at least some of what you are being taught is wrong. Would you have the courage to leave it all behind, have your family and friends disown you, and become, in the words of men like Warren Jeffs, an apostate?

Our book this week is The Witness Wore Red, by Rebecca Musser. She’s an author, activist, mom, and was the 19th wife of Rulon Jeffs, Warren Jeffs’ father. We’re doing a three-part deep dive on this case because there are so many great takeaways from Rebecca’s story. Cults have always fascinated me. From the outside looking in, we wonder how people could believe some of what we see as outrageous teachings. Some are born into the teaching and know nothing else. Others, searching for meaning, fulfillment, and community willingly go along with teachings that are contrary to Scripture.

As believers, instead of shunning people who are different or are seeking, we need to engage with them. If you haven’t seen the movie Jesus Revolution, I highly recommend it. A clash of cultures could’ve been a disaster without a handful of people who were willing to look past external differences to share the love of God. Let’s look at Paul’s words from Galatians 1:6-10 to see what he says about groups that preach a Gospel other than Christ’s:

“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse! Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

This idea of turning to a different gospel which is no gospel at all is so relevant to studying cults. With the FLDS, it’s very obvious that their teaching adds to and even contradicts the Bible. But what if we suspect that our church, or a Bible Study we attend, or something a friend is getting involved with - what if we see them straying from Scripture? I think the first thing to do is check what is being taught against the Word of God. When Paul wrote his second letter to the church in Corinth, he warned them to be on guard against people who were not only treating them terribly but also teaching a different gospel. That’s exactly what the FLDS leaders were doing. And if we aren’t careful, we can fall victim to the same type of scam. Even in a scripturally-based church, things can get a little off the mark. That’s what most of Paul’s letters were about! But when we know the Word for ourselves, we can easily spot when a teaching misses the mark. Ask to share your viewpoint with them. If they refuse, contact your church’s leadership. If they agree with the false teaching or refuse to confront the error because the teacher is a popular one - then it may be time to find another church. I know that can be very hard but it’s so very important to have humble leaders who value Biblical Truth. If you’ve dealt with a situation like this, I’d love to hear from you and learn from how you handled it. Shoot an email to lori@theunlovelytruth.com or message me on social media.

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who gave me fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

You can also connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.

If you want to listen to another episode about cults, check out this link:

Season 1, Episode 49: Without a Prayer

For information on separating from a harmful belief system, visit daretodoubt.org

Buy The Witness Wore Red

Check out Rebecca Musser’s website

Season 4, Episode 10: Cult Guru or Serial Killer: Who Murdered Patricia Hicks? Mar 07, 2023

For many years, a set of remains found in Yosemite National Park were known as Summit Meadow Jane Doe. Just over a year ago, genetic genealogy revealed that the remains belonged to a woman named Patricia Hicks. Just 27 years old when the last credible sighting of her is recorded, Patricia had moved to Merced, California, after her marriage ended. Like a lot of us, she wanted a fresh start - but that wasn’t what she got.

Let’s take a look at Matthew chapter 7, verses 15-20 from Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount. Just like he always does, he gives us incredibly practical wisdom to help us navigate this broken world we live in. Let’s read that passage, then break it down into three easy to apply practices that will help us know who to trust and who just might be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.

Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.”

First, we need to shift our mindset to trusting after practicing discernment. Separate the sheep from the wolves in sheep’s clothing by examining them closely. We need to make determinations about people based on facts we discover through our own investigations. Don’t rely completely on what you’ve been told about a person - especially BY that person - but on what you can see for yourself.

Second, make sure people pass “the smell test” before you trust them! We’ve all had that carton of milk that’s been in the fridge maybe just a wee bit too long and we have to sniff it before we can trust that it’s safe to put in our coffee. We need to use that same test on people! If you just aren’t sure about someone, be sure you check them out before you let them into your inner circle.

Third, make “NO” your new favorite word. Can your son go somewhere alone with the youth pastor? No. Can the most popular teacher at school drive your daughter home from babysitting his kids? No. Look at your reflection in your cell phone. Say “No.” See how strong you look when that word rolls off of your tongue?

It is important to learn how to recognize a false prophet for when, not if, we encounter them. It says in Matthew 24:24 “For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.” I certainly don’t want that to happen to me or to you, so I hope you’ll practice these three steps

If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who gave me fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Anyone who has information about the disappearance or death of Patricia Hicks, please contact the National Parks Service Investigative Services Branch at 202-379-4761. You can also send an email to nps_isb@nps.gov.

Season 2, Episode 34: Can You Solve This Crime?

Season 2, Episode 14: The Cold Case Murder of 10-Year-Old Joshua Lee Walden

Season 4, Episode 9: Like Ripples in Water: The Effects of Incarceration on Families Feb 28, 2023

When a loved one is in prison, you’re serving a sentence of your own. The experience can break you, or shape you. Learn how today’s guest was able to overcome a system seemingly designed to tear families apart and have it ultimately bring hers closer together.

Our book this week is My Incarcerated Life, and our guest is the book’s author, Qiana Riley-Jones. Qiana is a wife, mother, military veteran, nurse, and businesswoman.

Remember the story from the second chapter of Mark where Jesus called Matthew to be one of the Twelve? Matthew had been a tax collector for the Romans and people knew that he probably over-charged, then skimmed off part of the money collected. So the Jews didn’t have a very high opinion of tax collectors. They considered them thieves of the worst kind. When Jesus shared a meal with Matthew and other assorted folks that the Pharisees and teachers of the law called “sinners”, the religious leaders were upset, and said so. Let’s read Jesus’ response from verse 17.

“When Jesus heard this, he told them, ‘Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.’”

It’s unclear if Jesus is directing His response to the religious leaders or to his dinner companions. But it’s crystal clear that Jesus knew the importance of ministering where the spiritual need is greatest. Having helped with Bible studies in a jail, I can tell you they are places of tremendous spiritual need. The women I was blessed to meet gave me a much greater appreciation for God’s hand in my life, and it made me want that for them - no matter what they had done to get themselves where they were.

I want us to look at Romans 3:10 - “As the Scriptures say, ‘No one is good—no one in all the world is innocent.’”

That’s why we need a Savior as desperately as any jail inmate. That’s why God sees us all the same. That’s why WE need to look at every person the same. And I know that’s hard. It’s so contrary to man’s fallen nature. But as believers we have something inside us that can overcome that and allow us to see as God sees. That’s the Holy Spirit. He can help us minister to people who, like Jesus said, know they are sinners. When you do, you’ll make a positive ripple effect of your own on countless people.

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Get your copy of My Incarcerated Life

Connect with Qiana

Check out the work of Prison Fellowship

And Kairos Prison Ministry International

Listen to similar episodes:

Season 3, Episode 8: Prison Saved My Life

Season 2, Episode 41: The Redemption of Bobby Love: A Story of Faith, Family, and Justice

Season 2, Episode 8: A Prisoner's Perspective: The Redemption of a Criminal Mastermind

Season 4, Episode 8: Domestic Violence Statistics Don’t Lie: Meet the Man Trying to Change Them Feb 21, 2023

If you Google the words “Domestic Violence Statistics”, you’ll find some very sobering information. Did you know that according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence (and they give the examples of being beaten, burned, or strangled) by an intimate partner in their lifetime? I worked for a short time in a domestic violence court as a victim’s advocate, and I can tell you that the stat I just quoted is NOT an exaggeration.

We’re going to talk about a case that shows domestic violence in its most extreme form on this episode of The Unlovely Truth. If you think that no one in your church or your family or your group of friends is being abused, I hate to tell you that you’re wrong. And just leaving isn’t always an option. Our guest today knows that, and he’s doing something about it. You can too. I believe every Christian’s calling is to be a different kind of PI - a person of impact. Stick around because I’ll give you a practical step to do just that.

Our book this week is “Love Lies: a True Story of Marriage and Murder in the Suburbs”, and our guest is John Peace, Co-Owner of Safe Haven Services which provides private digital security box rentals that can help victims of domestic violence escape unsafe relationships.

Abusers who call themselves followers of Christ often use Ephesians 5:22-24 as a way to justify their actions. But these verses aren’t meant to stand alone. We need to continue reading and investigate verses 25-30 as well:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.”

God was very specific that men are supposed to love their wives the same way that they love and take care of their own bodies. Abuse in any form has no place in a marriage, or any relationship. A healthy marital relationship mirrors the relationship between Christ and His Church. Neither God nor His Word permits or condones abusive behavior in a marriage or any other relationship.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. And check out what help is available from Safe Haven Services.

Is your church a safe place for victims of domestic violence?

Season 3, Episode 44: Domestic Violence: There is Help Available

Season 2, Episode 37: Why Do Abuse Victims Stay: "Every Breath You Take" by Ann Rule

Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.

Get your copy of “Love Lies: a True Story of Marriage and Murder in the Suburbs”

Want Private Investigator approved safety tips? Grab a copy of my book.

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