"I already have enough. I should stop being so selfish and just be grateful for what I have.
Money is the root of evil.
More money. More problems.
I’m not good with money.
The only way to make money is to work incredibly hard for it."
When I tell you I had a toxic relationship with money- I MEAN IT!
I was in hella debt- (hello, credit cards and student loan debt🙄). I wasn’t making enough money in my full-time job, so I always had a couple of part-time gigs on the side just to make ends meet. And once I finally started making decent cash there was always an emergency lurking around the corner, so I was constantly draining my savings account.
Things got so bad I started to resent money.
It was never there for me when I needed it. It was always out of reach. The only way to get more of it was to work harder and sacrifice all of my free time working around the clock. And when I finally had it, I felt like I needed to hoard it because I never knew if or when it would come around again.
Living like this had your girl chronically stressed, sleep-deprived, anxious, embarrassed, and utterly exhausted.
And with all of that going on, one would think that I would do something to change my circumstances. Maybe go back to school, switch careers, or get a better-paying job. Nope! I did no such thing. Why? Well, because I was afraid to get to the bag!
I had so many toxic narratives swimming around in my head that kept me stuck in the struggle. I didn’t believe I could be a good Christian and want more money. I was afraid that having more money meant I was greedy and that I didn’t already appreciate God’s blessings.
There was this belief that I had to be a starving artist if I wanted to be taken seriously as an actress, so I did a lot of shows that paid little to nothing.
It took me YEARS to finally wake up and decide that I was tired of living paycheck to paycheck, tired of being in debt, and tired of being stressed the hell out.
So I started doing the work to unlearn all those stories. Once I decided that money wasn't evil and that I could be a good person and still be financially savvy-- money became my bestie. I was no longer available to the struggle. Money was finally on my side and I started living my best damn life!
In today’s #BigLesson, we’re talking about money and how to heal our relationships with it, so we can finally get more of it and not feel one shred of guilt about it.
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