The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast

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373 Vulnerability Connects Me To Everything | January 2018 Monday Week 2 Jan 08, 2018

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Mindful Mondays-#364 January 8th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Vulnerability Connects Me To Everything

"Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect." ~Chief Seattle A friend of mine sent me a direct message on Instagram sharing a post that said "it's strange how people that are thousands of miles away from you can make you feel better than the people who are besides you." and after they shared that quote with me, they said it's really strange, but I feel like you understand me very well.

I responded back, "well, we all are one. As humans, we fundamentally experience the same fears and emotions. They only seem dissimilar from all the different experiences we've all encountered as individuals…but we aren't that different at all. We all are…connected souls…seemingly separated by our physical forms."

And the way I've personally found that to be true, is from my own pains and secrets. I dealt secretly with my depression for many years of my younger life. I was embarrassed to let anyone know my sadness, my thoughts of suicide, and what I thought were my weaknesses. I've always loved helping people, and so the story I told in my head was that Superman couldn't show his weaknesses. How can you help someone if you don't act like you are strong? And so for many years of my life, I hid behind a mask of smiles and laughter so no one would know my pains.

I was embarrassed by my so-called weaknesses, but in the end, I was the one magnifying them. By me hiding my weaknesses, I was making it more powerful. However, I found rest from my fears as I was with a friend one night and we were drinking so that probably helped lower my protective walls a bit. I told him my thoughts of suicide and sadness over the years. He listened to my story, as he gave me his full attention. And after I said everything I needed to say, he sat for a moment quietly…and then said…"I've felt and had those same thoughts too, Chris."

And that was when an epiphany came to me: that we all are feeling the same way, we just think we're alone in our battles. We hide our weaknesses thinking we are the only ones who have them and that no one will understand us. But that's the lie we tell ourselves, to stay in the places we've trapped ourselves in. I can't speak for everyone on why they choose to stay stuck in their fears, but for me, it was the easier way. It was me choosing to reside in my self-pity. And if I stayed there, then I wouldn't have to change my thoughts and actions. Changing meant I had to do something, and I thought it would be harder to change than stay the same…but, in the long run, it was killing me inside rather than helping me.

We think that vulnerability is weakness, but vulnerability is actually being honest with ourselves and with others. It doesn't mean we have to air all of our fears; it just means that we can be real with people and let them know we struggle at times. Not because we want to stay in the struggle, but we want to be free from the struggle. And for me, keeping my struggles silent was what was keeping me imprisoned. It kept me from releasing my pains, fears, and struggles because I felt they would be a burden on others. I felt that people wouldn't understand and they would judge me harshly, and I felt that I had to be strong for everyone else so I could help everyone else.

In my head, I got comfortable saying this phrase…that my problems aren't a big deal. No one wants to know what's going on with me, they have enough of their own issues, I don't need to add to it. And so I started training my subconscious to believe that I was a burden, that my problems would be a burden to others, and it was better to be quiet about my problems because everyone else seemed to be handling their problems just fine. So I stuffed my problems away silently thinking everyone else had it together, and that others didn't need me to add to their problems with my uncertainties.

But I don't do that anymore. I've gotten in front of big stages to tell my tale of sadness, depression, and thoughts of suicide almost every day from before being a teenager until my early 20s.

When I learned the power of vulnerability, when I learned to share my truths and be real with people, it made me stronger. And I became stronger not by complaining constantly about my problems, but by beginning to air them out to the world, to be real with people, and to hear that they felt the same way I did. And by doing this it helped me know that we all are connected, that we all are struggling, and that we all…are one.

That's when I began to change. I didn't know how to change at the time, but I knew I had to do something different. And so I began changing how I spoke to myself. I worked to become aware of the negative things I told myself every day, which helped me to become more aware of what I thought about myself. And when I knew the thoughts about myself that weren't helping me, I then began working on changing those.

I see us as eggs. To change the inside, it usually starts with becoming aware of what's happening on the outside. Yes, I could try to change the egg from the inside, but it usually doesn't work that way. We need to crack the harder shell first, our negative physical habits, to unearth the truest deepest core of ourselves. So I began working backwards. I began seeing what my physical habits and words were that were causing my unhappiness. I looked at what wasn't helping me, I looked at what was making me feel worse or stuck in my sadness, and then I began changing it one word, one habit, one second, one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, and one year at a time. I had to start small to build up to bigger changes.

Vulnerability isn't a weakness; it's a way of us connecting with ourselves and with others. It's a way of being real with ourselves and the world. But I believe there must be a balance between vulnerability and strength. When I aired my vulnerabilities, I worked not to stay stuck there.

For example, when I would break up with a girlfriend…I'd be so sad. All I wanted to do was talk about it; and so I told everyone who would listen to all the sad feelings that had happened, all the things I did to mess up, and share anything that I could to air the hurt I was feeling. And not that that's a bad thing, but I think I felt the more I talked about the breakup then the more I could stay connected to that person. And so I talked and talked about hurt incessantly as a way to release the pain, but it was hurting me more because it was keeping me connected in a way that kept me sad.

So I think we should be real with people, but we shouldn't be doing it to stay in the vulnerability; we should be doing it to connect with people, to air our stories and let them know we aren't perfect but we are real…and that's what shows our strength. When we do that, we move on, we actively work to leave the sadness and the hurt behind, which in turn helps us to begin living within our strengths and making that a part of our every day lives.

Today's Personal Commitment:What are the things you're hiding? I'm not saying you have to air your fears or weaknesses to the world, but maybe you can find a way to stop hiding from them or stop sweeping them under the carpet like they don't exist.

Take a look at the vulnerabilities you've decided make you weak and ask yourself, how you can be vulnerable to face them instead of ignoring them or hiding them? This is not about dragging up the past to live in it, but it's about confronting something that matters so you can move from it more efficiently. So, take a piece of paper out, and think about the vulnerabilities that you've been hiding—that weakening you because you're ignoring them or running from them.

My mentor Mike instilled within me a saying that he lived his life by, "I don't fight or flight, I face and forgive." So how can you face your fears, your vulnerabilities, and forgive yourself in the midst of them? They aren't your weaknesses, they actually are your strengths. You running from them is what weakens you.

Vulnerability Connects Me To Everything

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: chris@strongwithin.com phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

372 I'm Prepared For What's Ahead | January 2018 Sunday Week 2 Jan 07, 2018

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Smiling Sundays - #363 January 7th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I'm Prepared For What's Ahead

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." ~Mark Twain

Have you ever thought about the possibilities in a moment? And not the possibilities you want to happen, but the number of possibilities that are in each moment. It's mind numbing to fathom what an infinite amount of possibilities could be. I was thinking about this myself and just for context, I looked up how much space a billion pennies would take up. And on a site, I found that if you stack each penny to the size of one of those long yellow school buses 9 of them would equate a billion pennies. It also said that "if you stack all those pennies one on top of another, that the stack would reach nearly one thousand miles high. For comparison, the space shuttle typically only orbits 225 miles above the earth's surface."

I'll include the link to those stats as they have more information on that…but it doesn't matter how many pennies you could stack…it still wouldn't amount up to the number of possibilities in every moment. And the reason I bring this up is that no matter how much you prepare for things, you will never be fully prepared. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't use common sense, or not prepare, or that we should be petrified of everything that could happen. I believe it just means we should be preparing our whole life for things.

It was a cold Friday night in Tennessee. The temperature was somewhere around 20 degrees Fahrenheit…and as I was driving home and I wanted to stop at my favorite healthy restaurant…Little Caesar's Pizza. I had to get me one of those $5 hot and ready deals; you know where you just pop in without having to wait and pick up the pizza and leave the store in a matter of minutes. Ok maybe it wasn't the healthiest choice, it was the fastest choice.

It was cold, and I wanted something quick and easy..and I do love me some Little Caesar's.

I stopped in and got in line, and there was a mother and daughter in front of me that had shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals on with no socks. Now I normally wouldn't have a judging eye to people who have a death wish in this cold weather, but living in Colorado I learned how preparation can be the bridge to life or the pathway to death. I was in elementary school, and my father was driving the whole family which consisted of my mom, my bro, and myself. We were in our big suburban. And this thing was a beast, my dad still owns it, and it still runs even as it's 34 years old at the moment.

It was a snowy cold night in Colorado, and the temperature was somewhere in the teens that night. That's a Colorado heat wave during the winter. During our trip, the Suburban broke down and we had to walk to find help. I wasn't prepared. I only had a sweatshirt on and no gloves or jacket to protect me from the cold. We walked over a mile to get to a gas station to use a payphone. I felt like my fingers were going to fall off from the pain of the cold as I was worried I might have frostbite.

Luckily we found a place to get warm and call us a tow truck to get the suburban to a repair shop, and then get us home as well. Before this incident, I would've never thought about dressing appropriately for the weather. Granted this incident happened before most people have cell phones…but if it would've never happened I would've thought things like; I have my car to keep me warm, I have a cell phone in case something happens, or I'm in a populated place where someone could help me. And yes that all can be fine and nothing bad ever happens to you, but you never know your circumstances.

Maybe your car could die and you can't turn it back on to get heat from it, maybe it could be at a time during the day when no stores are open and you're not close to a 24 hour gas station, maybe your phone could be low on its charge and die or maybe you can't get a signal where you are. We could go over a million possibilities of what could happen that might be a bad situation for you. The only reason I think about this now is because I was unprepared in a bad situation that seemed normal for me.

We don't think about those small things about being prepared for the situations we're in. We don't think about if our car breaks down in the cold and if we can't reach anyone. We don't think that maybe we should be dressed for the occasion until it's too late. We don't think about if our house would catch on fire if we have an emergency box at the door that has our must haves such as critical medicines we need to take, maybe an emergency credit card and some cash, contact numbers, and our keys and cell phone.

We don't think about the tragedies that could happen, and so if something does happen we aren't ready…and that could be the difference between life or death. It could be the difference between surviving with all your limbs intact or having to pay the consequences for not being aware of your surroundings and doing the right thing at the time.

Now this podcast isn't to scare you and be afraid of every little disaster that can happen. A tragedy can happen at any time…but also a miracle can too. I just want you to be aware of your surroundings. I want you to not rely on everything going perfectly as it has before and you not being prepared for the situation. Now with a fire, a tornado, or some other event that can happen instantaneously…that's one thing. But like my Little Ceaser's story of the mother and daughter in front of me, those are things in our control. Those are things that we take for granted and make silly choices saying I'm safe because I have always been safe…my car will continue to run fine, my phone will be charged and ready to call for help, or that stores or people will be there to help me when misfortune happens.

We make assumptions that things will always be fine, and then when something bad happens, we aren't prepared for it. And when we aren't prepared for a bad situation, it's a recipe for more bad choices. But if we take the time to be aware of the conditions around us, then we not only increase our chances of making better choices, but we might change our outcome from a matter of possible death to a matter of imminent survival.

I was reading a book called The Survivor's Club. And every chapter talked about how to survive a different disaster. It talked about how to think before the accident and what to do during the event. Such as one chapter talked about surviving a plane crash. In the book it said most people who die in a plane crash that survived the impact of the crash…actually perish from smoke inhalation. Those first 90 seconds are the most critical in getting off the plane.

The book said you should know where the closest emergency exit is to you. You should count the number of seat rows to the nearest emergency exit to you in case you can't see anything if the smoke is limiting your vision. You can then feel your way to an exit if need be. And it also talked about remaining calm during the situation as people panic and make mistakes…but by being prepared and knowing and doing certain things when you board a plane…you're helping yourself not to panic because you have prepared yourself.

Now while I took a darker route of surviving disastrous events for this podcast, it was to illustrate my point better. In every instance of your life, the more aware you can be of your surroundings, of where you're going or wanting to go (whether that be physically or even mentally), then the more prepared you can be. Preparation doesn't always ensure success, but it raises your level of prevention. And maybe that's why I'm always teaching my life coaching students about pivoting their negative thoughts from the bad into finding the good in the situation. It's not that I'm teaching them to ignore what's going on…but I am preparing them…I'm getting their mind primed to find a better solution in every instance.

You won't know every problem that can occur, but if you prime your mind to think differently, to become aware of your surroundings, to see things and take action on the better choice than just doing what's easier at the moment…then you'll find your life will be smoother. You'll find that you've made it a habit to continually prepare…not for disaster but for success.

I think of the Boy Scouts motto, and in Robert Baden-Powell's book Scouting For Boys he defines what being prepared means:

"The Scout Motto is: BE PREPARED which means you are always in a state of readiness in mind and body to do your DUTY.

-Be Prepared in Mindby having disciplined yourself to be obedient to every order, and also by having thought out beforehand any accident or situation that might occur, so that you know the right thing to do at the right moment, and are willing to do it.
-Be Prepared in Bodyby making yourself strong and active and able to do the right thing at the right moment, and do it."

So, are you aligning yourself up properly? Are you preparing your mind and body to not only survive this life…but to become more aware by aligning yourself up with success instead of tragedy. Sometimes the easiest thing is not to take the easier road, but to do what common sense would require. So it's my hope that it's not true as people say nowadays, that common sense isn't as common anymore.

Today's Personal Commitment:Do you have a life motto?

What is it?

And if you don't, what would be a good motto for your life?

My motto has to do with the life values I've set for myself. When I publish my book I'll teach you how to find your values as well…but for now let's keep it simple as I'll share my motto with you: I Live Within My Values In Every Moment. This motto helps to remind me of what my values are and ask myself if I'm residing in them constantly. I work to be aware and present, but I do get very forgetful at times…so I have my values pinned in a place where I'll see them constantly.

So figure out your motto, write it down, and then place it in a spot that you'll see it consistently to remind you—to always be prepared in mind and body for your life. I'm Prepared For What's Ahead

Website for the billions of pennies: https://holykaw.alltop.com/what-does-a-billion-pennies-look-like

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: chris@strongwithin.com phone:865-219-3247

371 I Am Encouraged Every Day | January 2018 Saturday Week 1 Jan 06, 2018

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Synergistic Saturdays-#362 January 6th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Am Encouraged Every Day

"I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day, and as nearly as possible reaching the high water mark of pure and useful living." ~Booker T. Washington

Words are powerful, and the particular word or words you use might change the whole equation in how you make a goal or dream yours, or if it's always just out of your reach.

In a previous podcast, I said the affirmation, "I find magic wherever I go." And the reasons I said the word "find," is because I believe in every moment there's beauty and all we need to do is open our eyes and see what's already there.

I usually don't like to use the word find because it means that you aren't in control of the thing you are seeking. You are looking to claim something in hopes that you might locate it someday. But for that particular affirmation, I wanted people to know that everything is magic…even the so-called normal, ordinary instances that happen all the time in your life. I prefer to say the word "create" instead of find, but in the previous podcast it wasn't about us creating a great moment…it was about knowing the great moment was already created for us.

The reason I bring up word choice, is to help prove the power in the words that we decide to utilize in our lives. So, if I were to say I find encouragement or I create encouragement, which one sounds more powerful to you.

Maybe the issue of power comes from where the observer stands. If we think we need someone to cheer us on, to tell us why we're good at something, or to help motivate us…then we are looking for encouragement outside of ourselves to get the energy to move.

However, if the observer is looking from within saying that I am in control of how I move, that I don't need people or things to motivate me, I do that—then the observer doesn't need to find anything. They are creating their energy themselves.

I was working with a life coaching student, and we were looking at the things that brought up her depression and kept her stuck in emotions she didn't want to be in. I was hoping to help her become so aware of those places that weren't in alignment with how she wanted to feel so that she could do something before the depression happened. The associations she made to certain things in her mind were deciding her emotions. Take for example; she told me that when she was home alone in her den, she felt depressed because all the kids were moved out of the house as they had grown older. And being divorced without a love interest in her life, the den was such a big area that she said it made her feel alone with all that space around her.

In our activity, we decided to call all the places, actions, or thoughts that brought upon depressive episodes or sadness…her red flags. And by her becoming aware of her red flags, meant that she could do something before the emotion became too overwhelming for her. It meant that the red flag wasn't the cause of the sadness or depression…it was the warning system to let her know that her thoughts were processing things a certain way that wasn't helping her.

I dealt with depression for a good portion of my younger life, and while things made me sad, or I felt hopeless, or even when I thought about suicide…it was I, who ultimately made myself sad..not the thing, person, or event. I decided how to process an event. I was the one who decided a situation was hopeless; I was the one who decided I couldn't do anything to change it; and it was I, who kept coming back to thoughts that weren't productive for myself. I had to change the way I processed those events to change the emotions that I associated with those events.

And so with my life coaching student, after she labeled and wrote down all of her red flags, I asked her another question: "What can you do to help yourself NOT get into those red flag areas?"

She thought for a moment and then began giving some solutions. She talked about going for a walk, not sitting in the den in the afternoon, not taking midday naps when she didn't need them, having lunch with friends, working out, and I am sure she said a few more.

And I said, "those are all great things, but what will you do if you can't do the thing you've decided upon? What if you can't get to the gym at the moment, what if you can't go on that walk right then, what if none of your friends are around to have lunch with you?" Now, this was more of a rhetorical question to get her thinking about seeing a deeper answer. It was to help her see that the solution was not in something external, but SHE was the solution.

Sure, working out, getting out of the house, hanging with positive friends, or going for walks are all awesome things to do…but still, they are physical things that we are seeking outside of ourselves to control how we feel. I wanted her to see she was the answer. I wanted her to see that the physical action was an after effect, it wasn't the ultimate solution…it was part of the equation.

And maybe I'm getting off point since this podcast is about encouragement, but I think I'm hitting the head of the nail dead on by saying that the greatest encourager we will ever have in our lives will be ourselves. The greatest encouragement will be what we tell ourselves and where we focus our thoughts continuously. So if you're seeking someone or something to encourage you, then you will always be in an endless pursuit to find a reason why you are doing something. You will always be in a place that is out of your control.

So how do we find that encouragement within then? Well, everyone's different, so I can't give you the cookie cutter equation, but maybe I can begin pointing you in the right direction. One of the biggest ways to be encouraged is to know yourself. When you know yourself, you can begin to know your purposes and your likes in life. When you know these things, it's much easier to be encouraged as you find more ways to work towards them. When we don't know ourselves, it brings on a lot of uncertainty; and uncertainty brings with it anxiety, fear, hopelessness, and even caution. And not that caution is a bad thing, but when you are uncertain…you walk on eggshells not wanting to do the wrong thing. But when you know yourself, when you have a directed purpose, it's not that you shouldn't be cautious…but it's that you know what you want, and you're more willing to jump into the things that align with that purpose. You're more willing to move towards things that help enhance your already amazing feelings and emotions into something even bigger and better.

Encouragement can come from external sources, but when you find ways to be encouraged from within—you 'll find not only greater joy in life, but you'll also find more ease upon the path you travel. Not because your path changed, but because you changed…which then changed your path. The turbulent turns and bumps in your path become straightaways just by the way you decided to think about them and see them. And as Booker said in his quote, encouragement can be created by people doing their level best every day while reaching to be pure and useful in their lives. So how useful are you in this life, and are you aware and living in alignment with your purposes?

Today's Personal Commitment:

What are your red flags? What are the things that are keeping you from being happy, that are keeping you from your purposes, and that are keeping you stuck? And once you write them down, write down what you'll do to deal with those red flags?

Figure out what you need to do physically…whether it is to create a fitness habit, to have a list of friends to call or hang out with, or even places to go that bring you peace. And then look inside yourself, go deeper and ask how you can change the way you see those red flags. How can you be the change instead of needing something else to change you? How can you be encouraged within every day to be a better person, a happier person, and a person in line with their purpose? How can you be a person who doesn't need external encouragement? Sure, external encouragement is always nice, but it's my hope that you'll have come so far in your growth that you'll see you won't need it to reach where you're going.

I Am Encouraged Every Day

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: chris@strongwithin.com phone:865-219-3247

370 I Find Magic Wherever I Go | January 2018 Friday Week 1 Jan 05, 2018

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Fantastic Fridays-#361 January 5th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Find Magic Wherever I Go

"I am a great admirer of mystery and magic. Look at this life - all mystery and magic."

~Harry Houdini

I loved magic when I was a kid. I thought it was amazing how someone would have secret knowledge of the exact card that was picked from a deck without you having to tell them what you picked. It fascinated me so much that I kept a deck of cards with me wherever I went for a brief time in my younger life.

I remember being at the airport during a layover and a gentleman sat next to me, and I was like oh man this guy is in for a treat I'm going to wow him. And so without even saying hello, like an eager young innocent child…which I was, I flayed out a deck of cards with my hands and said "pick a card, any card…I bet I can guess your card."

Now either he was amused by my candor or he didn't know what to do so just complied so I would stop bugging him as soon as possible. I was so sure I would get it right and that I would amaze him and make his day by proving I was a magician of great worth. And so, he picked a card and I asked him to put it back in the deck. I pulled out the card he picked waiting to see his amazement, as I said is this your card? His face turned red and I was amazed because this was a new expression I had never seen before. Usually people are wowed with their eyebrows raised high and mouths opened as they can't believe the feat of magic I just displayed in front of their eyes.

He was quiet for a few more seconds, which felt like an eternity for me, and I knew I had made this man a believer in magic. He had seen true magic!

Finally my newest magic participant spoke, and he said, I'm sorry, no, that wasn't my card." I thought there must be a mistake…and so I searched the deck frantically for his card again to save face. But with each card I pulled out, it got more embarrassing for me. But the funny thing about kids is, that I was so happy in doing magic and connecting with people, that I didn't feel bad for too long.

I said, "ok let me try again." And so I tried that trick a few more times on him and I think I eventually got it right…but for me even though I was slightly embarrassed at first…it wasn't about getting it perfect…it was about getting it right no matter how many times I had to do it. I was going to figure out his card one way or another…even if he had to pick a card 10 times for me. Now I may have been bugging the gentleman while he was waiting to board his flight, but I think he saw the beauty in a child wanting to do something right, and him being a part in helping that child succeed. And also, I'm sure he got a good laugh out of it as he probably told his friends about this crazy kid he met at the airport who wouldn't leave him alone.

The reasons my tricks didn't always go perfectly, besides the fact that I needed more practice, was because I didn't understand the theories behind the trick. And so I tried to just use my attention to detail, noticing the slight differences in the deck to guess or feel with my hand and hopefully pull out their card. So sometimes it was me guessing a little bit knowing it was somewhere in that section of a certain portion of the deck.

I wanted to learn how to become a better magician, so I checked out books at the library on magic, and my parents bought me a few books on the subject too. I learned some tricks through math and card placement, and I learned other methods on making your efforts in magic be more successful. But I think the more that I got to know the secrets behind the tricks, then the more disinterested I became in the practice of it.

Magic is a craft, and I might have seen how hard it would be to get really good at it. I saw that magicians put in hours of practice a day for sometimes years to master just one trick. So maybe I got bored in the tedious practice of it, hoping I could master it in a month. I had grand illusions of being the greatest neighborhood magician Kenton Court had ever seen. And like David Copperfield, I would wow them by putting a sheet over their dog, and make it disappear right before their eyes just like David made the Statue of Liberty disappear on television.

It sounds cliché, but when I knew what was behind the magic trick it no longer held its bewilderment to me. The fun in magic isn't in trying to find out how the trick is done. The magic is found in being amazed by something not fully understanding how it's done. As we've become adults, we want to pull the curtain back from the wizard to not be fooled anymore. We want to know the ins and out of religion, science, or why the world works the way it does…and those are all great things…but in our efforts in trying to explain a reason for everything, to see the process and order for everything…to know the whys that sometimes cannot be known why…then we begin to stop seeing magic in our ordinary lives.

We aren't impressed with evaporation as a puddle of water is pulled back into the atmosphere to be redistributed as rain. We aren't fascinated by how we can throw a ball into the air and it always return back to us. And we don't even bat an eyelash at how every year plants die in the winter and come back every spring.

We've seen the day in day outs processes of the world and they've become ordinary to us. And it's not just because we know how it happens, we've gotten used to amazing things being in our field of view in every moment…that we now see them only as ordinary. Because for things that happen all the time, they no longer become miracles, we begin to label them as regular moments.

I get into this argument all the time with people, as I'll say "every single person is amazing and so talented." And they'll rebuke back, "well if everyone is amazing then no one is amazing. Not everyone can be amazing, sometimes people are just ordinary." But I disagree with that statement; everyone has something beautiful about them, everyone has something unique about them, and just because their uniqueness isn't always meant for a worldly or grand scale…doesn't mean that they aren't amazing people.

And I think those naysayers are stuck focusing more on what people are doing with their lives, instead of seeing the magic of possibility we all have at our disposal. The possibility and chance in every moment to share our best selves with the world…whether on smaller scale or a bigger scale.

And maybe you are, or have been, one of those naysayers. I know I've been. But I would like to awaken you to a better perspective, I want you to put yourself in different shoes to be that person who finds the magic in the ordinary. To be the person who would see a puddle one moment, and an hour later see that the puddle is gone, and be wowed again by the magic of evaporation in the world. I want you to be that person who is wowed by the effects of gravity as you see a sunrise or sunset every day and know it's from gravity keeping us circling the sun. I want you to be that person wowed at the changes of seasons…instead of complaining it's too hot or too cold. I want you to be a person who see magic in the moments of your life again and finds the beauty in all of it.

There's magic all around us, and all we have to do is open our eyes. All we have to do is understand that the ordinary really isn't ordinary…we've just seen it so many times it feels normal. But normal, doesn't mean that it's not magic. So when we choose to see the magic in the moment, in the ordinary, in the normal, in what is in front of us at any moment…we make our lives magical too. We become part of the magic.

Today's Personal Commitment:What magic have you forgotten, and no longer notice in your life?

Go about your day taking notice of things you might have just passed by previously and see the magic in them again. And at the end of your day, write down a list of all the magic you experienced that day. I can guarantee it will change not only the trajectory of your day…but also the direction of your life. See if you can do this exercise for a day, a week, or even a month and then write your thoughts on how it changed you.

I Find Magic Wherever I Go

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: chris@strongwithin.com phone:865-219-3247

369 The Only Reason I Look Back Is To See How Far I've Come | January 2018 Thursday Week 1 Jan 04, 2018

Show notes

Thoughtful Thursdays-#360 January 4th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

The Only Reason I Look Back Is To See How Far I've Come

Have you ever thought about where the idea for the rearview mirror came from? Most likely you know it's there to see that s.o.b who's tailgating you…as you silently cuss them out in your mind. I used to listen to Paul Harvey's the Rest of The Story on the radio and I remember him talking about the rearview mirror.

If you don't know who Paul Harvey is, he had this iconic voice that would tell …as the show is titled "The Rest Of The Story"… on things or people that are common knowledge…but we didn't know the interesting facts and stories behind those things. But I'm digressing…back to the rearview mirror history.

In 1911 an Indy Car racer by the name of Ray Harroun put a rearview mirror in his race car. He wasn't the first one to put a rearview mirror in a car, as Ray said he got the idea from seeing a horse carriage having one, but he gets credited for having the first one in a race car. In the earlier days of Indy racing there would be two people in the racecar instead of only one like they do nowadays. The second rider was called the riding mechanic or the ancillary rider. Their job was to monitor gauges, make repairs, and let the driver know of cars approaching from the rear of the vehicle.

Rearview mirrors have come a long way from those early days, as Ray said that with all the vibration going on from the race and the vehicle it was almost useless in being able to see anything clearly. And most typical rearview mirrors are actually wedges of glass and mirror, not just a flat mirror…but I'll talk about how they work later.

The idea of a rearview mirror intrigues me as an analogy for our lives because we can have the tendency to be stuck looking in the past. And I think if we can create an internal rearview mirror for our lives, we can find better ways to glance at what's behind us without having to get stuck living in what's behind us.

Looking back at the past can be helpful or it can be harmful on how you process the past. If you look back to see all the things that went wrong, or how it was so much better in the past than it is now, and if you are constantly comparing the good or bad with the now—then you are always in a place of trying to prove to yourself why the now is a good place to be. And if you are in constant conflict by having to prove to yourself why the present moment is a good time in your life…then what you are saying to your subconscious is, "I don't believe my now, my present moment, is good enough because I'm always trying to find ways to prove to myself how good this moment is in my life."

And how can you really live a great life if you don't believe the present moment is the best time in your life—the only time that you actually have control over?

However, if you look back not to prove to yourself why the present is good or bad and use your so called personal rearview mirror to measure how far you've come, or what you haven't learned just yet…then you will find more comfort and ease in the moment. You will know that you are going in the right direction no matter what's happened because the past isn't a place you can live…it's only a place you can learn from. But to learn, we must be diligent in glancing, not getting stuck there.

So I want you to think about the rearview mirror in your car right now…and I'm not talking about those fancy schmancy mirrors that use advanced electrochromic technology and have all those fancy buttons on them. Think about the mirror that only has a flip switch on the bottom of it. That flip switch is there to help you see better in nighttime or daytime viewing. And most of us never think about how a rearview mirror really works, besides magic of course, but what it does when you flip that bottom switch is it changes the angle of the mirror to deflect the light differently from your eyes. For daytime it's angled to deflect the light towards your eyes, for the nighttime viewing it deflects the light away from your eyes.

Here's a little tidbit: if you ever want to do your own experiment to see how this works on the mirror, at night make sure you have the mirror in nighttime viewing mode, turn on the flashlight on your cellphone and shine the light on the ceiling to see how it looks in the mirror. You'll see how clearly you can see the light on the roof of your car. But make sure you are parked doing this… I don't want you being daredevils hurting yourself in a moving car. And that's what's so interesting about rearview mirrors, to see better at certain times, it's not really doing anything crazy…it's just pivoting or angling to deflect the light differently.

So in knowing all of that, what if you visualized yourself as a rearview mirror? What if instead of focusing so hard on all the negative things that have brought you to this horrible place in your life, you were to flip your internal switch to deflect those negative thoughts and sayings away from yourself. What if you were to bounce more positive and productive energies to yourself…more often?

Now some people might say that I'm telling you to trick yourself into feeling good, and how they're realists and would rather look at how things are…instead of being a dreamer. But I'd say it's not about looking at how things are, it's more of looking at how you want things to be. Because the only way things have changed was not in looking at something and saying there's nothing that can be done, this is how it is, but it was in seeing something more and asking how can I change this? How can I view this differently? And how can I see more from this…to be able to create more from this?

Where we put our focus, and how we process things will determine where we direct our lives. So instead of looking so intensely at what's wrong and why it's wrong, what if you were to glance in your rearview mirror and figure out the lessons you've learned, to see how far you have come, to see how much further along you are than you previously thought you were. What if instead of getting stuck in the negatives of the past, you were to pivot and angle yourself differently? What if you were to only glance back to see how far you've come…to then look forward at where you want to be going?

Today's Personal Commitment:The past is a measuring stick. Not to make you feel bad that you haven't come far enough, but to measure where you are and where you'd like to be. They say self-esteem is determined by two points on a scale. The first point being where you think you are at the moment, and the second point being where you think you should be. And the further those two points are from each other, then the lower your self-esteem.

But I think if we are eternal learners and seekers, those points will always be far away. Not because we aren't good enough to bring them closer together, but because we are always reaching for more and wanting to be more. So instead of comparing how far you points should be from each other, what if you were just to glance back and look at how far you've come? What if you were to see your past not as a series of mistakes but a series of lessons guiding you? What if you were to visualize yourself as a rearview mirror in your bad times, and when you feel all that negativity pile upon you…you just flip that internal switch…not to block the negative, but to pivot from it, to deflect it away from you…and to direct more positive towards you.

Your problems are big deals to you. I get it. We are emotionally connected to our problems and sometimes it seems like it's the end of the world. I'm not asking you to ignore your problems, but what I am asking you to do is to step back a little bit. To get more clarity on the magnitude of them…to see that you are bigger than any problem you face, you are more resilient than any problem that comes your way, and to see that all it takes is a little shift to direct them elsewhere…instead of living within them, and being consumed by them. If you're going to be consumed by something, be consumed with love, with happiness, with calm, with appreciation. In life, how we feel is always a choice that is determined by how we decide to focus on what has happened. It's all a matter of perspective. One person can see the end of the world, where another can see a beautiful new beginning or great lesson to build off of. Which person will you be?

So this week when you are feeling stressed, visualize yourself as a rearview mirror flipping your internal switch to direct better feeling emotions and thoughts during your more stressful times. And at the end of the day write down how that helped you and what you learned by doing that.

The Only Reason I Look Back Is To See How Far I've Come

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: chris@strongwithin.com phone:865-219-3247

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