The Story Must Be Told

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125. The Age of Wind Power - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski Apr 28, 2021

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Every whale sings a song, and it goes like this: “Ohhh Oh noooo Don’t take my oiiiil” But who pays attention to lyrics? If a whale sang me anything, I wouldn’t hear a word over the crackle of WHALE OIL. This week’s service is sponsored by Mark O. O! might grease be spread upon thee. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Invocation Mark O’s Psalm So True Story: “The Age of Wind Power: a Brief History of the Origins of the Empire’s Second Industrial Revolution” Sneak Preview from the Story Children’s Choir Come back in two weeks or it’ll happen to YOU. Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com MERCH YES: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt PATREON PLEASE: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

124. You're Gonna Touch My Hand Apr 13, 2021

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Pleasure is hiding! PEEKABOO. Ohhh you have to SEEK pleasure. Search, and be warned: you will not find IT. IT will find YOU. When the Stranger appears from the alley and removes their glove, what will be waiting to tick-tick-tickle ya? A hand can be many things, even: fear itself. Invocation Psalm: More We Tolerate Story: “You’re Gonna Touch My Hand” Concluding Prayer After you’re absorbed into your new life, come back in two weeks for a new Story, ya goof! Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com MERCH for gloves: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt PATREON for hands: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

123. More More More More MORE Stories Mar 30, 2021

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Remember: Purkley Katzman was ground up by a bunch of gears. It was his own dang fault for not being gear-proof. Today, we share some of Purkley’s stupid, STUPID Stories, so we might remember: he got ground up by a bunch of gears. Invocation Psalm: Fuck You, Purkley Story: “More More More More MORE Stories” Concluding Prayer Come back in two weeks and we’ll all forget Purkley Katzman was ever alive, let alone ground up by a bunch of gears. Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com More MERCH: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt More MORE PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

122. Goodbye Pork Pie Hat Mar 16, 2021

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Everybody’s working for the Story. Everybody’s working despite the Story. Everybody’s working because of the Story. The Story will strip you of meaning like a business sheds insurance coverage. Invocation Psalm: Pigs Aren’t Real Story: “Goodbye Pork Pie Hat” Concluding Prayer The Story is back in two weeks with something fresh for you to enjoy sip sip. Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com MERCH honest: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt PATREON juicy: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Trailer: Welcome to the Story! Mar 15, 2021

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Welcome to our Church, our soon-to-be congregant. Are you familiar with our institution? Do you know the works of the Story? Are you looking to convert someone who the Story has so far denied? Listen to this "trailer," and perhaps enjoy the featured episodes: 77. After the Attack 45. It's My Right 60. They Made a Strange Love - Guest Preacher Joe Pera The Story's gonna getcha, haha.

BONUS: The 522 Club Clip Show! Mar 09, 2021

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The Story Must Be delayed a week, dear congregant. Shh, shhh, dry your eyes, child, for we put together a special treat to help you pass the time! Our faithful patrons selected their favorite chunks of our patreon exclusive podcast: the 522 Club. We have compiled them here for YOU. Listen down and CHUNK UP. Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com MERCH true: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt PATREON fresh: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

121. It Was A Saturday ... Feb 23, 2021

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Here is the Story! Don’t get distracted! Not like I did at Taddy’s wedding, when the horse got loose. You see, a horse must learn every lesson with one eye then the other. Myself, I’ve always been left-eyed. Now, my uncle was right-eyed, but this was because of an incident at a barbecue with a long fork. Forks of over 5 inches in length should be classified as weapons, unless a person’s arm is so short that long utensils are not objects of violence, but convenience. I haven’t measured my arms for over a month now. Invocation Petitions for Honorable Congregants Liturgical Reading: “It Was A Saturday Morning When Arthur Kurtz Came To The Terrible Realization The Day's Obligations Were Far More Complicated Than Anticipated” Concluding Prayer Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com A lil bit of MERCH: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt A healthy glop of PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

120. Immortal Forgotten Words Feb 09, 2021

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VRRRRRRROOOOOWWW here comes the plane beep beep open wide. Let the Story be your words, your every thought. Open your mouth wide, the Story’s gonna land inside VRRRREOOOOOWWWW Invocation Psalm: “Plane Peepin’” Liturgical Reading: “Immortal, Forgotten Words” Concluding Prayer Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com Merch VRRRROOOOOOOAA: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon VRRRRROOOOOOOOWWW: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

119. Goodnight My Love 3 - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski, Featuring Marcus Parks Jan 27, 2021

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Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx Come to my chest, sweet TOT, and suckle at my plastic feeding port. You can tell how much I love you by how calmly I wince. Shh shh shh, if that mockingbird don't sing, papa's gonna buy you some gasoline. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Featuring: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) Invocation Psalm: “Meat-a-ball” Liturgical Reading: “Goodnight My Love part 3” Concluding Prayer Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com Merch healthy: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon juicy: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

118. Goodnight My Love 2 - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks, Featuring Jackie Zebrowski Jan 12, 2021

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Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx We’ve been smelling fennel for weeks, and sure enough it’s because there’s MORE. Marcus caught the sniff, and Jackie too, you bet. Sniff along, and just see what ends up inside you, ya goof. Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) Featuring: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Invocation The Feast of Saint Brandon Liturgical Reading: “Goodnight My Love 2” Concluding Prayer The conclusion to Good Night My Love is coming in two weeks oh fresh fresh. Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com Merch for YOU: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon for ALSO YOU: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

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