The Story Must Be Told

Latest Episodes:

152. The Anxiolytic Jul 22, 2022

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Are you n-n-n-nervous? Does it prevent you from serving our glorious economy? For SHAME! Remember this one truth: all mental health is secondary to the will of the oligarchs, ok???? Invocation Liturgical Reading: The Anxiolytic Further Fractures The Story has a HOT sniff of you, and it can now find you wherever you live. Expect its knock in two weeks! MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

151. Two Testicles in the Indiana Clay Jul 08, 2022

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Meiosis is the process by which cells cut themselves in half to make halfling children wriggling alone in the dark incomplete forever. A farming accident is the process by which Sal lost his danglin’ nuts. Learn how the two are CONNECTED. Invocation Petitions for the Newly Greastised Liturgical Reading: Two Testicles in the Indiana Clay Conclusions You will always seek the Story, and in two weeks, your efforts will yield F-F-F-FRUIT. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

150. The Inevitability of Death Jun 24, 2022

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Lay down in the dirt and take a lil nap called DEATH. Yep! The Story is here to tell you: ain’t no one gonna stay alive forever except a few jellyfish. Accept your demise and send your memories to hell, uh huh. Invocation Petitions for Patreon Congregants Liturgical Reading: The Inevitability of Death Closing Apologies The Story will find you again in two weeks and you can’t even STOP it. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

149. Warmth and Dissolution - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski May 26, 2022

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In their masses, human beings amplify emotion until the smallest sensations become shared, tangible links. But we are floating alone in the void and cannot remember touch. Recall human contact and become confused! Guest: Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Invocation Robot Liturgical Reading: Warmth and Dissolution Closing Statements In two weeks more Story is gonna pull up to your orb and demand entry. GRANT. IT. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com LIVE SHOW: https://www.axs.com/events/430541/last-podcast-on-the-left-tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

148. The 6th Annual Intergalactic God Congress May 10, 2022

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This TUESDAY TUESDAY TUESDAY, Gods will come from near and far to DUKE IT OUT. Which God has what it takes? Ohhhh take a listen, and hear how your personal God fares in the 6th Annual Intergalactic God Congress! Invocation Announcement about Stickers, Live Show Liturgical Reading: The 6th Annual Intergalactic God Congress Closing Statements Check back in two weeks and a new Story loaf will rise from our yeasty declarations. STICKERS: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com LIVE SHOW: https://www.axs.com/events/430541/last-podcast-on-the-left-tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

147. Undoing Nocturnal Apr 26, 2022

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Hoo hoo, says the owl. Then the owl says, boo hoo hoo. Avian tears are a delicacy, and even geniuses will spend their grant money to ensure ornithological agony. Sorry birds! Mice gotta chew, cats gotta scratch, and humans gotta CRUEL. Invocation Psalm Reading Liturgical Reading: Undoing Nocturnal Closing Statements Story comes ‘round these parts every fortnight. Chunk down with us AGAIN. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

146. The Great Flood Apr 12, 2022

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Drip drip, get slippery. Splat splat, get WET. Water’s comin’, and it’s gonna SOAK ya, bub. Down to the BONE. Unless you don’t believe in the shivers, then in that case: there’s no water at ALL. Invocation Petitions for Real Good Congregants Liturgical Reading: The Great Flood Closing Statements More STORY in two weeks. Until then: stay DRY, chut. New shirt: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

BONUS: Best of the 522 Club Mar 29, 2022

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Beep beep! Honk honk! I’m a SAMPLER PLATTER—of the 522 Club! That’s right, Chet, we’re giving you a LIL sip of a LOT of patreon exclusive content, cha cha cha. Including: WHO WANTS IT with SISTER CALLISTA PA and DEVON chat JAR JAR YEAH JAR JAR Aaaaand you even get to hear DEACON ADAM discuss books with BR and PA! We got a spicy one coming in two weeks and thank ye for your patience. New shirt: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

145. Are You Afraid of the Story: BUGS Mar 17, 2022

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Beep beep! Honk honk! I’m a BUG. RNNNNNNGG RNG RNG RNGG, look out! A Big Bug Is Coming. Oh, even the clergy has a STORY or TWO about BUG. Don’t believe me? Oh, just TRY listening to a tale or three from: DEVON BROTHER REID And even: PASTOR ANDREW I’ll be back in two weeks with more Story, but not if you show me ‘ttude like this. Nuh UH. New shirt, ya goob: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

144. The Perfect Route Mar 03, 2022

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Sorry I’m late, turns out TRAFFIC. Ughhh traffic always gets in the way, especially of car, and most especially: truck. What can we do about traffic? Lots! But I’ll tell you what: it won’t stop the suffering. TRUCKS RADIOS Liturgical Reading: “The Perfect Route” RAGE We’ll be back in two weeks with more Story, don’t even doubt me. New shirt alert, WEAR it: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

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