When talking about homeschooling, the elephant in the room is socialization. Naysayers insist that homeschooling isolates children, but the reality, as experienced homeschoolers and those who know them praise, is that their kids are the most socialized, as well as the most thoughtful and considerate kids around.
But how do you get there initially, or how can you improve things? Ginny and Mary Ellen have a fresh bouquet of ideas and tips for finding new friends for the kids and yourself. You'll surely enjoy these practical solutions garnished with a generous helping of good cheer.
Roadblocks to Homeschooling: The S word - Socialization
Used to be, you made friends on the sidewalk or on the street where you lived. Too often now, these places are empty – kids are at activities or afterschool care.
Solution - Be Aggressive in Seeking Buddies.
● If your little guy finds a buddy at the playground, talk with his mom.
● Find out where they live and see if you can offer to get together.
● Not every friend has to be another homeschooler or even Catholic!
● Diversity is an overused word, but there is a benefit to true, not forced, diversity.
How to Find Other Homeschooled Children.
Step One:
● Check with local public libraries and museums for homeschooler programs.
● Check out orthodox parishes. Homeschoolers tend to flock to those parishes.
● Go to daily Mass. If you see other moms and kids, chances are they are homeschoolers.
Step Two:
● See if you can set up times for get-togethers. Coffee and donuts after church?
● Meet at a park, church, or someone's house on Fridays.
● Set up a FB page to keep in touch.
Possible Problems
● Poorly disciplined kids
You invite this lovely family you met at church to your home. Their kids trash the place and are generally rude. Should you give up on that family? Maybe, but not right away.
The key to dealing with kids like this is often to separate them from their parents.
Offer to pick up the children and bring them to a park or your home.
I found kids responded to our house rules.
They say "please" if that is the only way to get the cookie.
"We don't do that in this house" often does the trick.
Could you be their "Angel?"
Sometimes, a mom with no idea how to control her kids learns a trick or two from calm, confident parenting.
Lonely moms
Hey, you need buddies, too! There is no question that moms often make friends waiting at the school bus stop or volunteering for school activities. But don't give up.
● Tell your church acquaintances you would love a weekly rosary morning at your home. As time passes, maybe other moms will pick up the slack, but it is an excellent excuse to clean up the house anyway.
● As you get to know people, ask them if they ever get out without their kids. Suggest an adult outing.
● Do you bake bread? Pop over with a loaf. People will love you!
● Do you sew? Offer to fix that sagging hem.
● When my kids were teens, we had the "white tornado." If someone had a miscarriage or were sick, we would go over and clean.
● Join local groups: Ladies Auxiliary for the Knights of Columbus, Italian American Club, Hibernians.
If none of this is working, remember:
Laura Ingalls Wilder - Almost no neighbors. But the family was happy, and the children thrived.
Abe Lincoln was raised in a cabin in the woods and became president.
Andrew Jackson grew up during wartime, lost his entire family in his early teens, and he raised himself. He grew up to be a successful military officer, landowner, and president.
Summary: People may say that you are cheating your children by not sitting them in a classroom with two dozen of their agemates. Don't listen to that. Too many modern kids are clinically depressed, on meds, and confused.
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