The Single Mom Podcast - Single Parent Advice, Support & a Little Bit of Humor

The Power of Taking a Pause & Making Yourself a Priority Jun 01, 2024

This episode is going to be all about why I took that hiatus the reason behind it. There will also be information, suggestions, and advice on how you can not go through what I went through or how you can choose to do what I did. And that it's okay. The power of taking a pause on things that aren't serving you, are taking too much energy or time when you don't have any to give and why you need to start making yourself a priority here and there.

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ADHD as a Super Power & The Boy with the Faster Brain Nov 21, 2023

Many parents have children diagnosed with ADHD and navigating that aspect of parenting can be confusing. In this episode we chat with Peter Shankman – a renowned author, entrepreneur, and ADHD advocate who has not only thrived with ADHD himself but has also become a leading voice in helping parents, educators, and caregivers navigate the challenges and opportunities of raising kids with ADHD. He has just released his latest book for kids with ADHD, The Boy with the Faster Brain, which helps kids understand their ADHD is a gift and that they are brilliant, not broken.

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Body Positivity, Building a Business & More w/ Susie Taaffe Oct 23, 2023

It's like lately every other ad I come across is for some brand of shape wear intended to help women appear skinnier and more sucked in (for lack of a better term) and I honestly hate it. As women I think that we have been told too often that we are only beautiful if we are thin. We shouldn't look like we have bumps, lumps or curves. I don't know about you, but I am tired of that narrative and so was Susie Taaffe to CEO and Founder of Skanties. On this episode I interview Susie and we talk all about why she created Skanties, how she started a business AFTER her divorce and tips on how to thrive as a single mom.

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Why I Talk Politics With My Kids Sep 23, 2023

Politics can be a touchy subject for many but as a mom I believe that it is important to talk about with my kids. I believe that it is important for my children, when age appropriate, to learn about things that will potentially effect them in their lives as they get older and why it is important as citizens to participate in our democracy.

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Gaslighting - How to Identify and Manage It Sep 16, 2023

For those who have ever experienced unhealthy or toxic relationships - whether with our exes, co-parents, our own parents or even friends - you have likely experienced gas lighting in one form or another at some point. Gas lighting is a form of emotional abuse and can be hard to deal with. In this episode we talk all about what gas lighting is, how it can present and ways to help you manage it if it happens to you.

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Building Strong Communication With Your Kids Sep 09, 2023

This week's episode is all about communication and why it is so important to develop strong communication skills with your kids. If you start early and continue to work on and build those skills then as they get older they will be more likely to come to you with questions, problems and advice.

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Changing Your Career Path Can Change Your Life Aug 26, 2023

In this weeks podcast episode I talk with Heather Black, founder and CEO of SuperMums about her story and how she was able to completely change her life by changing her career path. After the arrival of her second daughter Heather realized that her knowledge of Salesforce gave her a specialized skill set that could offer her the flexibility she wanted to work from home and support her family. Now she trains others how to do the same.

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I Don't Measure Success with Money Aug 19, 2023

Recently I had an interaction with someone who made me realize that not everyone measures success in the same way. As a single mom, I don't measure my success by how much money I have or what I own, but in how happy my kiddos are how good our relationships are.

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Coming Back to the Podcast Jul 15, 2023

The last podcast episode I aired before coming back was in August of 2022 - almost a year ago. I really hate that I stopped creating episodes for The Single Mom Podcast, but there were a lot of things going on and I just couldn't devote the energy to it. This episode explains some of the reasons I stayed away so long.

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Alternatives to Screen Time & Why They Are Important Jul 09, 2023

As parents we know that too much screen time for our kids isn't great, but let's face it we have all been guilty of it at one time or another. In this interview with Drew from Tonies we will be discussing some of the downsides of too much screen time and the amazing alternative that Tonies offers for kids that helps inspire and build the creative process in kids.

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Scatterbrained Mom or ADHD? Aug 08, 2022

As moms we will often just excuse our lack of focus or being a bit scatterbrained on our kids or the fact that we always have so much going on. But what if it is actually something more? What if, like me, you are struggling with adult ADHD? I discovered that even though my kids are older and don't require so much of my focus that I STILL was struggling to get things done and it was becoming a huge problem. So I decided to ask my doctor if there might be something else going on.

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Why Do We Feel Guilty? Jul 31, 2022

As moms we often will stop doing the things we want to do for ourselves or NEED to do for ourselves. Why? Sometimes it is because we think we will be judged or made to feel like we are bad moms. Too often we allow those feelings to keep us from doing the things that we want to do or that would make us happy.

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It's My Birthday!!! Why Did I Wait Until My 40s To Decide to Be Happy? Jul 26, 2022

Today is my birthday!!! Christmas in July is how my kids remember it. I turned 45 today. And after 45 years I have gotten to a point where I am so happy with the person I am and am doing all the things that I want to do. I am doing things to make myself happy. I wasted a lot of years saying no to things that I wanted to do and I realize how much I missed out on by letting fear and worry keep me from. So I won't do that anymore. I do the things.

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Giving Your Kids a Safe Space Jul 17, 2022

Recently a friend of mine had a young man come to her after running away because he felt safe at her home. Coming from a home life that had been in turmoil for so long this young man told my friend that he would rather die than keep feeling the way he was feeling.

Too often we don't realize that our children are dealing with a lot of problems and they don't always feel like they can come to us. Which is why it is so important to make sure that they feel like they have a safe space to express when they aren't doing ok. If it can't be with you then helping them find someone who they can go to. We can't ignore the fact that they struggle just like we do sometimes.

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Going Through a Rollercoaster of Emotions Jun 27, 2022

I took off last week from posting an episode because I was vacationing in Hawaii! For the first time in 21 years I was able to take a kid free vacation only to come home and be faced with having to make the hard decision to put our 14 year old dog Shiloh to sleep. After so many amazing years with our family, she was in pain and we couldn't be selfish and keep her with us.

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A Family Stay-cation? Jun 11, 2022

I am always on the look out for low cost or no cost things for single moms to do with their kids. As a single mothers we don't always have a lot of money to spend on taking trips or vacations. So during the summer we have to get creative at times to give our kids a fun vacation. I came across an article that SEEMED like a great idea until I dove into it and let's just say their ideas were not that great!

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Trauma & Our Kids Jun 06, 2022

Whether we like it or not, our children are experiencing traumas that we never had to growing up. School shootings, lock down drills, living through a pandemic and being isolated from 'normal' life for a year... it all can take its toll. Not to mention if they have experienced any other kinds of trauma. As their moms, we may not always recognize the signs of trauma in our kids and what we think is bad behavior may in fact be a trauma response. This weeks episode is all about trauma and our kids - and how we can help them through it.

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Overturning Roe v. Wade Is A Bad Idea May 29, 2022

I know this topic is one that is VERY charged and one that many people have very strong opinions about. Myself included. Please know that I respect whatever your personal opinion is on the topic just as I would hope you would respect mine. Personally, I am very pro-choice but not only that I am very pro 'your right to choose what is best for you, your life and your family' no matter what that choice is as long as it doesn't infringe on my life.

I will fight for your right to practice whatever religion you choose to follow, even though I am not a religious person. I will fight for your right to marry whomever makes you happy, even though I don't believe in marriage. I will fight for your right to choose to NOT have a baby for whatever reason you are choosing, even though I personally don't know if I could make that choice. The point is that we be allowed to HAVE that choice.

Todays episode is all about why overturning Roe v. Wade would be a very bad thing and lead to problems that I don't think many have fully thought out.

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Removing Your Limiting Beliefs with Suzie Wheeler May 21, 2022

Our life consists of a bunch of beliefs and habits. Most of them come from childhood conditioning and experiences.

What habits do you have that are getting you closer to the love you desire, the life you desire?

Most people break their trust with themselves. Once we promise to do something a bazillion times and don't, subconsciously we have zero faith in our abilities to become more, to have more.

We rarely question our thoughts and desires, instead we are simply attached to them.

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Finding Strength In Unexpected Pregnancy May 14, 2022

Kaycia Ellingsen is a mom of three, adventurer, course creator and a Best-Selling Author. She currently lives in WI, Kaycia helpswomen gain confidence and embrace the adventure that life has to offer.

When she was 19, Kaycia found out that she was unexpectedly pregnant. Kaycia and her boyfriend went from happy college kids to being unexpected parents wading through a sea of unknowns, judgement and advice from peers who did not have kids. She walked through one of the hardest seasons of her life bearing judgement, change, and the insecurities that she held in her heart, searching for who she was.

Through the trials and triumphs, Kaycia realized she was stronger than she thought she was. The memoires of being unexpectedly pregnant sparked a fire within her soul and a need to share her story so other women would know, they are not alone!

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When Will Smith Asked 'Who Are You?' Apr 30, 2022

Everyone wants to talk about the Slap Heard 'Round the World, but instead of addressing that I want to talk about a recent article about Viola Davis and what happened when Will Smith asked her this question. Will Smith told her "I will always be that boy who's girlfriend broke up with him"... and she thought no matter her accomplishments, deep down she was a little black third grade girl who got chased home by a group of white boys. This made me stop and think... 'who am I' ... what in my past was that defining moment that influence me so profoundly that it would stick with me years and years later?

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Creating a Plan In Case Something Happens to You Apr 23, 2022

None of us like to think about anything bad happening to us BUT we all know that at some point it will. Too often we aren't ready for that. We don't have things in place to help our loved ones manage all the details of our lives after we pass away OR if we are medically not capable of making decisions.

I know it isn't a sexy topic and I know that it seems a bit morbid to think about now but it is so very important. What happens to your kids? How will they be cared for? How will people access funds to take care of your children and their needs? Where are all your important documents? All of these things and more are so very important and we need to have a plan in place, especially as single moms.

Today we talk with David Edey who wrote the book on helping executors know all the things they will need to know as well as what YOU need to know to help them.

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Single Moms Should Run The World Apr 16, 2022

Let's face it, the men have been running things all this time and still haven't seemed to make things much better. In fact there are a lot of things that are getting worse. So I think it is WAY past time for women to hold more seats in power. In fact, I think single moms should run the world. There are so many reasons why I think single moms could run things a whole lot better than the stodgy old men have been. This weeks episode is all about why single moms should run the world.

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Absolute Exhaustion Apr 09, 2022

This weeks episode is all about that feeling of complete exhaustion. I am not talking about your regular tired from working and taking care of the kids ... but that down to your bones, feel it in your soul mental, physical and emotional exhaustion. I used to feel that every day until I realize some of the things that were causing it and how I could eliminate them from my life. Now, I rarely feel that way anymore.

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Are You Struggling With CoDependency? Apr 02, 2022

Many people will struggle with codependency in their relationships. Some deal with it in romantic relationships, some with their relationships with their parents and sometimes even with their kids. Codependency can be very toxic and too often women struggle with it more than men do. Let's face it, we've all likely been in a relationship where we experienced it. This episode is all about identifying the signs of codependency, because once you recognize it you can hopefully break the pattern.

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Should Our Kids Set Boundaries? Mar 26, 2022

We've talked about how important boundaries are for ourselves as parents but what about for our kids? Not the rules and boundaries that we as parents set for our kids but the boundaries that they set for themselves. Are their boundaries any LESS important than ours? What message are we sending them if we don't respect their boundaries?

Do you read your daughter's journal? Have you forced your 5 year old to give grandma a kiss, even though they didn't want to?

As important as it is for us as parents to model what healthy boundaries can look like, it is JUST as important for them to feel that we respect the boundaries that they set.

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Texas Passed the Heartbeat Bill & I Am Furious (Trigger Warning) Sep 06, 2021

TRIGGER WARNING - This episode talks about very sensitive topics

I typically try to stay away from REALLY controversial topics but after Texas passed the Heartbeat Bill last week I found I couldn't do that this time. This weeks episode is about why I am so angry about this bill, bodily autonomy and why I believe it is so important that every person be allowed to make a choice. We are not incubators...we are people and we should be allowed to make our own choices.

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Rediscovering Yourself with Jen McGuire Aug 08, 2021

We all know that too often we as moms lose ourselves in our kids and being "mom". Sometimes so much so that once the kids have grown up and moved away we don't know what to do with ourselves. We don't even really know who we are. This weeks podcast is an interview with Jen McGuire, a single mom of 4 adult sons who decided to take a trip to Europe to finally figure out who she was outside of mom.

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Who Were You Before You Were 'Mom'? Jul 25, 2021

Quite often when my birthday rolls around I start to think about where I am and who I am. It has started to get worse the last few years though because the kids are getting older too and soon they will all be adults and out of the house. So now I am thinking about who I am outside of being their mom... and I realize that somewhere along the way I lost a lot of myself in being a mom. So when they are gone who will I be then?

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Don't Take It Personally Jul 18, 2021

We just returned from a 2 week vacation back easy (which is why there weren't any episodes the past 2 weeks) - and during our trip my teenage daughter had some ups and downs. The downs put me in a position where I had to remember not to take things that I couldn't control or do anything about personally. As moms we tend to feel guilty or internalize when our kids are unhappy or angry or sad. Sometimes we feel like its our fault - sometimes it is. However, more often than not it likely doesn't even have anything to do with us and we need to remember not to take those moments personally.

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What Can Truly Change Your Life? Jun 26, 2021

Life changing? Really? YES! There is something that I realized years ago that changed my life for the better. Something that every woman, especially single moms, should discover for themselves if they haven't already.

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Setting Boundaries Jun 20, 2021

In this episode I chat with Melissa Salmeron, Certified Master Life coach and mother of three. We dive into setting boundaries and why they are so important for not only you but for your children as well. You will learn the power of an "I" statement and how to effectively set boundaries for yourself.

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Choosing to Be Happy Jun 12, 2021

Recently I saw a video from America's Got Talent where a beautiful girl who is fighting cancer sang a song she wrote herself. The song was beautiful, her performance was beautiful and she got a golden buzzer from Simon. During her interview she revealed that she had only a 2% chance of survival but she was an absolute vision of light and positivity. When asked about it she said something that inspired me and this podcast episode... she said " You can't with until your life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy." Happiness can be a choice but often we choose to dwell in the negative. I learned years ago that my life was so much better when I chose to be happy.

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What Threatens Your Inner Peace? Jun 06, 2021

I remember spending years feeling just blah! Always being irate or on the verge of tears. I let everything get to me - especially my ex. There were days that the stress and unhappiness was so overwhelming that I literally felt it like a weight on me. It took me a while to figure out what was keeping me from my personal zen, my inner peace. But once I figured it out and ways to work through it...things were so much better. I FELT so much better.

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What I Learned From a COVID School Year May 30, 2021

The school year has ended for us here in Colorado and it was a doozy! We all had to struggle through how to help our kids through a year of school during a pandemic. As far as I'm concerned if you made it out alive and mostly unscathed you are a winner lady! There are some things that this school year taught me though, and this episode is about a few of those things!

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It's Ok to Not Be Ok May 22, 2021

Have you ever gotten to the point where you are down to the bone, feel it in your core, to you soul tired? Because you are the one who is doing it all. The one who can't drop the ball. Maybe you feel like you don't have any help or you can't ask for help. I feel like we have all been there at some point. But what happens when that is how you feel ALL THE TIME? When you have reached a breaking point.

You have to recognize that isn't how it is supposed to be. Your default setting shouldn't be stressed and unhappy. This weeks episode is all about that feeling and how you can help yourself release some of that burden.

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The Advice I Wish I Had Gotten May 15, 2021

One of my listeners recently reached out to me and asked for some advice. Listening to her story I was struck by how similar it was to mine. How I felt at the very beginning of my journey as a single mom and it made me realize how far I had come over these past years. I remember the worry and the emotions that I went through in the beginning. Some of the expectations I had and a LOT of the animosity that I felt. I thought about how many years I spent, wasted really, feeling so angry and upset. I wish I had known then all of the things that I know now. So I thought that maybe some of you other moms out there might be able to benefit from the advice I gave as well.

I know that I don't know your story and my advice may not fit your individual scenario BUT some of it might help. I wish I had not wasted so much time being so upset and if I can help even one of you get to a better place faster than I did then it is worth it.

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Are You Passing Your Emotional Trauma On To Your Kids? May 01, 2021

Let's face it, we all have baggage. The crap that we carry around with us from one experience to the next. Old wounds, hurts, emotional trauma, pain, loss, resentment, fears... it all follows us. Most of us. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not we are probably putting some of that on our children.

I recently interviewed Kerri Hummingbird best selling author, Soul Guide and host of the Soul Nectar Show. Her recent book "Love Is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound" talks about how for thousands of years, mothers have been disempowered, shamed, belittled, and abused. As a result, many mothers have developed victim mentalities which result in their being unable to love fully, neglecting their loved ones, and even competing with their children for control and attention. A woman with the Mother Wound will experience an intense struggle not to pass it on to her children.

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Co-Parenting Struggles Apr 24, 2021

I have a confession to make. I kinda suck at co-parenting. At least I did for a really long time. There are many reasons for that:

spending 7 years before my daughter was born being the only person making decisions for my boys
having serious trust and control issues after my son was almost killed by his own father
being a bit stubborn (nah!!)

There were many reasons that I struggled with co-parenting with my daughters father and it took a lot of time and work to get better at it. This episode is all about my initial (and some continuing) struggles with co-parenting, how I worked through some of them AND tips to help if you too are struggling with co-parenting.

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Developing a Healthy Body Image Apr 17, 2021

Recently there was a buzz around a certain celebrity's untouched photo being shared on the internet. She had a very big problem with that image because it was untouched, un-filtered and (in my opinion) real! Now she had her reasons for not liking it and I get that BUT what is that telling the girls out there? That if you don't look perfect you don't look good? And WHO gets to decide what perfect looks like?

Why do we as women beat ourselves up because we don't look like models? Or because we don't look like we used to in our 20s? Or BEFORE we had kids?

And when we beat ourselves up and say mean things about ourselves what does that teach our daughters (and sons) to do?

Developing a healthy body image is so very important especially if you have daughters!

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There is Power in Being Single Apr 10, 2021

I was talking with a good friend the other night about the power of being single. This friend had spent the majority of her adult life going from one relationship to the other without ever really spending any time being single. She honestly didn't know HOW to be alone. She always had felt like she 'needed' a man in her life. No matter how many times I had begged her to PLEASE stay single for awhile at the end of every one of her relationships she always jumped right back into another one. Until recently. After her last relationship ended very badly she decided to stay single for a while.

She told me that she was so much happier now and felt so much better about herself than she ever had. She no longer felt that she needed to have someone in her life in order to be happy. She was feeling stronger and more self confident because she wasn't basing how she felt about herself on how a guy was treating her. She was no longer ignoring red flags from guys that she was talking to and she is being more selective about who she is letting into her life.

Now I am not preaching that everyone should always be single. I think everyone should find their person who makes them happy. But your happiness shouldn't be based on that person. They should ADD to your happiness, not be the only source of your happiness. You should be able to be OK being single. But so many of us aren't - why is that?

In this podcast episode I talk about the myth and story that we were all sold and how it often contributes to our unhappiness and why I feel there is so much power in being single.

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Small Changes Can Create Lasting Results Apr 03, 2021

Quite often we set goals for ourselves that we don't meet because we see them as too big. Or we slip up or fall off the wagon and decide that we failed so why even keep trying. I have many different goals that I have set for myself but have struggled at times to feel like I am making any progress toward them. Because I felt I wasn't getting far enough fast enough.

Recently I started reading Atomic Habits by James Clear and have realized the power of continuous improvement and how little changes can help me meet my bigger goals. Realizing that small improvements can lead to big changes and lasting results.

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The Battle Between Perfection and Happiness Mar 27, 2021

Perfectionism and happiness do not go hand in hand. As women we often compare ourselves to others, thinking that another woman has it more together than we do. That mom on Instagram looks so perfect. Her kids and family look so perfect. We beat ourselves up for not reaching some level of perfect that really doesn't exist. People who strive for perfection are rarely happy and this episode discusses why.

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Focusing on Wellness Instead of Just Weight Loss Mar 20, 2021

I decided that this year, after such an abysmal 2020, that I needed to focus on more than just weight loss. Yes, I still need to lose some weight BUT that wasn't going to be enough to REALLY make me feel good. I realized that there were many layers of things that I needed to focus on instead of just weight loss. My mental health, my physical health, my spiritual wellness (no I did not find religion)... but there are so many different pieces to the puzzle of me and I wasn't working on all of them. So I decided that 2021 was the year I was going to start doing that.

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Raising a Teenage Girl in the Age of Social Media Mar 13, 2021

It isn't easy raising children but raising a teenage girl has been especially hard for me. I knew that I would struggle, growing up as a tom boy I never really got the whole "girlie girl" thing...but raising a teenage girl with the added pressure of social media! That has been an even bigger challenge than I had anticipated. These poor girls are presented with more social pressure than I ever was growing up and it is effecting their mental health, self esteem, and so much more.

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Potato Head and Inability to Accept Progress Mar 06, 2021

Recently Hasbro announced that they were removing the Mr. from Mr. Potato Head's name and for some reason this upset a bunch of people. This weeks episode is all about why I find this extremely silly but also indicative of a bigger problem - inability to accept progress and change. Also, why I consider Potato Head the first transgender toy I ever had when I really thought about it. Listen to this episode to find out why...

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Making Bad Decisions Out of Desperation Feb 22, 2021

Recently there was a young woman in the news who was arrested and charged with child endangerment. She was a single mom who left her two kids alone in their motel room so she could go to work. As a single mom I know the struggle of trying to find and afford child care. Sometimes we end up having to make decisions that many other people simply can't understand or judge us for. And even though I know that it isn't a good thing that she left her kids alone - I can understand why she may have done it.

This weeks episode is all about having to make not so great decisions because we feel like we have no other choice. The struggles that many of us single moms go through trying to do what is right for our families and having to make choices that we don't want to make.

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Be The Hero of Your Own Story Feb 15, 2021

In this weeks episode we talk about Valentines Day, stereotypes that single moms often face and why it is so important for you to be the hero of your own story. Too often we are judged by others - made to feel like we are just waiting for someone to come save us. Maybe we sometimes buy into that stereotype. Sometimes we feel like if we don't have someone in our lives we are missing a piece of ourselves. Sometimes we may feel like we have to find someone and we can't be happy if we don't. This couldn't be further from the truth! This episode is all about being whole all on your own - being your own hero.

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True Colors & Red Flags Feb 06, 2021

"When people show you their true colors, don't try to repaint them"...

This weeks podcast episode is all about why it is so important to pay attention to red flags instead of ignoring them. So many of us are "fixers", we see someone with problems and we want to help make it better. Instead of seeing the red flags that should make us take a step back we dive in and usually end up losing ourselves along the way. In this episode we cover some of the bigger red flags to watch out for and why it is so important to pay attention to them. Not just in our romantic relationships but in our friendships and even sometimes in our own families.

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The Importance of Mental Health Awareness (Especially During COVID) Dec 08, 2020

As single moms we can struggle with our own mental health. Depression and anxiety can creep up on you and can REALLY effect your life. But it is also VERY important to realize that it can also effect our kids. We need to not only be aware of our mental health but the mental health of our kids. Right now our kids are going through an unprecedented time due to COVID restrictions. Having to quarantine, not being able to see friends like they used to, not going to school the way they are used to... it is all a huge shift and change. Many children are struggling to cope with it and it is important as moms to recognize this and be there for our kids. It is also important to know that it is ok to reach out for professional help if you need to. This episode talks about all of this and more.

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A COVID Thanksgiving - Setting Boundaries This Holiday Nov 23, 2020

This Thanksgiving will look a lot different for many families because of COVID. Many people are not getting together with their families in order to try and stay safe. Some family members may not be happy about that. This has brought up the topic of setting boundaries for yourself. During the holidays many people have family drama and quite often that can be due to a lack of boundaries.

Do you agree to host the entire family even though you don't really want to? Do you have to clean up for hours after they all leave? Would you rather not have all those people at your house this year? Or next? Would you rather take turns hosting? Would you be ok with having everyone over if you didn't have to do ALL the cooking?

Setting boundaries for yourself is a good thing. Especially around the holidays. This weeks podcast talks more about why it is OK to set boundaries.

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Are You Sabotaging Yourself? Nov 05, 2020

There’s a lot of truth to the quote, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” We get in our own way far more than life, other people, or bad luck sabotage our success. We are often our own worst enemy. There are likely many reasons we tend to get in our own way but once we realize that we are doing it - then we can work on stopping. This weeks episode covers several tips to help you stop your own self-sabotage so you can be more successful in life.

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Can Changing Your Thoughts Change Your Life? Oct 26, 2020

Have you ever heard the phrase "If you always do what you have always done, then you will get what you have always gotten"... Can doing something as simple as changing your thoughts help you change your life? As a single mother, for many years I felt like I was never going to move past the struggles I had. I felt like I was always going to be stuck. I allowed limiting beliefs to keep me from moving forward in life. In this weeks episode I talk about how making changes to your thought processes can help you change your life.

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What Does It Take To Be A Good Mom? Oct 20, 2020

What does it take to be a good mom? Have you ever questioned if you are being a good mother? Are you struggling right now? Do you feel like you are always doing it wrong? Welcome to the club - that is how EVERY mom feels. In this episode I talk about some big changes in our family and how it made me question if I was a good mother.

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My Breast Cancer Journey - Part 2: My Double Mastectomy Oct 05, 2020

I was diagnosed with DCIS which is basically cancer cells in the ducts of your breast. The area that had those cells was pretty substantial which is why my doc recommended the mastectomy. You see, I have never been what you would call 'well endowed'. So simply having a lumpectomy wasn't really going to work.

It would have been disfiguring. So the mastectomy was a better option aesthetically because I could get reconstruction.

So then why would I choose a DOUBLE mastectomy? If I only had cancer in one breast why have both removed?

In this episode I discuss why I made that choice and what the whole experience was like.

I also offer some suggestions and tips to anyone who is facing the reality of having to have a mastectomy.

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Overcoming Overwhelm - Part 2 (Brain Dump & Prioritize) Sep 28, 2020

In the last podcast episode we talked about how you can use your breathing to help calm yourself when you feel overwhelmed. Being able to take just a moment to breath can bring you back to a calmer state where you are able to function again.

Ok, that's great but how do we keep ourselves from ever getting to that overwhelmed state to begin with?

This is what we are covering in this episode. How can you prioritize your life in a way that helps you be less stressed and more productive?

How can you prioritize to reduce your stress?

I know that I almost always feel like I have too much to do. EVERYTHING to do. I am sure there are days you feel like that too right?

Wouldn't it be nice if there were 5 of me to be able to get all of this stuff done? Well, unfortunately that just isn't possible. So how do you handle life when a million things need to be done?

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Overcoming Overwhelm - Interview with Ish Modak Sep 21, 2020

Ready to set boundaries and overcome overwhelm? Rediscover your joy and calm as a working mom with medicine momma Ish Modak.

Ish helps working moms overcome overwhelm and craft a life where they stop surviving and start thriving as a parent, partner, and professional.

In this episode we discuss being in the state of overwhelm and a crazy simple trick to help your body and mind reset so that you are able to stop the fight or flight response and get back to having a productive day.

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Racism & White Privilege Jun 03, 2020

I have honestly been struggling to decide whether to release an episode about the current events going on in this country and the murder of George Floyd. Mainly because I am not certain if anything I say could possibly be sufficient. I also worry that I may say the wrong thing.

However, one of the quotes that has always stuck with me is one from Sir Edmund Burrows. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” So I must speak my truth and I know I must speak up because silence helps feed the hate.

After yet another unarmed black man was killed by a police officer – blatantly murdered for all the world to see – our country is in crisis. Though if we are being honest, it has been in crisis for a long time. The racism so deeply embedded into our culture has started to slither its way back out from under the rocks it hid under. Though, now I know for many it wasn’t hidden. It was never hidden.

This podcast is about the systemic and deep rooted racism in this country, within ourselves and how important it is that we address it.

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My Breast Cancer Journey - Part One May 28, 2020

In November of 2019 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I found out about it after my very FIRST mammogram. I wanted to share this journey with you because it is so important for us as moms, especially single moms, to remember to take care of ourselves too. We often put the things WE need to do for ourselves last on the list - and if I had put off my mammogram like I put off every other thing I should do for myself, who knows what could have happened.

This podcast is the first of two where I talk about what happened, how I was diagnosed and everything that happened up to my surgery. The next episode will be all about the surgery and recovery process.

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I'm Baaack! Re-introducing Myself After a Year Away May 04, 2020

After almost a year since my last podcast I am back and I wanted to re-introduce myself AND let you all know why I have been gone for so long. No, I wasn't in jail. I had to step away for some personal reasons and some health ones. So I hope you will join me and listen to why I had to step away and why I am finally getting back to my podcast.

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Moms Are STILL People May 27, 2019

After a recent interaction with someone who accused me of 'emotionally abusing' my daughter because I was expressing my hurt and frustration I started wondering something...

Why do moms get treated like we are no longer people? Why are we supposed to keep our feelings, emotions, anger, frustrations etc all bottled up? When we need to go out to let off steam, why are we judged? If we breakdown because we are so tired and emotionally drained, out parenting abilities are questioned. Or when we let our child know that they hurt us we are accused of emotionally abusing them...

When did it stop being ok for us to be human?

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Weight Loss Struggles - I Finally Found Something that Worked! May 18, 2019

I quit smoking 8 years ago, and after I did I gained a lot of weight. What started out as 10 additional pounds grew into 50. I have been trying for YEARS to find the motivation & commitment to lose all those extra pounds.

I have tried various diets, Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, and other fad diets I found online. I joined a couple different gyms – and barely went. I tried working out with Beach Body videos at home.

I gained it all right back!

I finally found something that worked for me - the Keto diet. This episode covers my journey on this diet.

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Mother's Day - It Shouldn't Be Just Another Day May 08, 2019

For single moms, Mother's Day can often end up being just like every other day. We don't always have someone to take over for us - allowing us to sleep in, taking over our daily responsibilities and obligations, etc. So for some of us Mother's Day really isn't any different that yesterday or the day before that or the day before that.

But it SHOULD be different. Even if there isn't another adult to help you feel that you are amazing for all you do, your kids likely do! And YOU should do something to make yourself feel wonderful on Mother's Day. Because as a single mom you are EXTRA awesome and should be treated as such.

So, this podcast episode is dedicated to finding ways to treat yourself this Mother's Day! A quick random list of easy, inexpensive or free ways to do something for yourself this Mother's Day. Don't let it just be another day!

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Parenting Agreements - Do You Need One? Apr 29, 2019

Today's podcast is all about parenting agreements and why you should ABSOLUTELY have one.

Making sure that all the details of your co-parenting arrangement with your ex are all laid out and legal is so very important. Having a parenting agreement helps keep all the rules and guidelines of how you will raise your child will actually help to keep things civil with your ex. Well, hopefully.

There are so many different things to consider when creating a parenting agreement and today I will cover several of those things. Some of them PROBABLY aren't what you think...

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Are You Undervaluing Yourself? Apr 19, 2019

Too often we as single moms will undervalue ourselves. We may not do it on purpose, or even realize we are doing it but it happens more often than not. I recently came to this conclusion after having someone try to use the fact that I am a single mom as some form of insult. This of course does not work on me - because I am happily single. But it does make me realize that there are people who think that all of us single moms are just miserable and looking for a man. Which is often times not true. However, I do know that there are many of us single moms out there who are lonely and who do want to find someone to love and love us in return. Unfortunately, sometimes we end up lowering our standards and undervaluing ourselves just to find someone to fill that void. And that is something we should NEVER do! This episode goes deeper into why you should NEVER undervalue yourself.

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Be More Than Mom - Finding Self-Contentment Jan 22, 2019

Self-contentment... remember what that feels like? Do you remember who you were before you had kids? Do you remember what you loved to do and the things that brought you joy?

As a single mom I know that for many years I felt like there was nothing more to me than just being Mom. It was a feeling that is hard to nail down sometimes. The best way I can describe it is a sort of hollow feeling inside. Like there is a part of you that just isn't there anymore.

All those things that I used to do, that brought me happiness, I simply stopped doing after my kids were born. Because I was a single mom with little to no help it just seemed impossible. There was no way I would have the time or energy to work on self-contentment.

I had kids to feed, boo-boo's to patch up, clothes to wash, events to drive to, homework to help with, doctor's appointments...

There was no TIME for anything more, and even if there was time - I was too damn tired to try and do it. 'I'll do that later. When the kids are older.'

But something happened, and it happened so slowly - in small increments, that I didn't even realize it ... I lost myself.

So many things that had to be done to care for my kids and give them full lives, that I forgot about my own life. I became simply mom. Nothing more to me than that. And I thought that was how it was supposed to be.

I felt guilty if I tried to go and do something for myself. How could I possibly justify spending even a dollar on something special for ME when I should dedicate everything to them? What a horrible mother I must be for wanting some time away from my kids!

How could I possibly follow my dreams and still be a good mom?

So everything was pushed aside and my dreams tossed aside so I could be the best mom I could be. Or so I thought...

You see, after a while that hollowness - it starts to become all consuming. You start to feel lost somehow. Yeah, you are still doing everything you need to do in order to be super-mom.

But it feels like a chore. Like you have to force yourself to continue with the day to day. You still love your kids more than anything but your life...you don't really love that.

Which is NOT a good thing, because whether you realize it or not, your kids can feel that. You may try to hide it - but they instinctively know.

Somewhere along the way we decided that we needed to put ourselves last in order to be good moms. We don't. We need to be right up there in the top two! First the kids, then right along side them - US!

We need to feel that we are just as important and our goals and dreams are also just as important. Now, I am not saying you should ditch your kids and run off to Paris to become and artist. BUT - if art is something that you love, then it should STILL be a part of your life.

Music, art, fashion, architecture, guitar, dance... if you love it, and it feeds your soul, it NEEDS to be a part of your life! You need to feel like a whole person if you want to be the best mom you can be.

Even if you can only take 30 minutes a day to feed your passion - at least that is something. Do the things that bring you joy (provided they are not bad habits). You will feel better. You will be better. You will feel part of your self return, I promise!

And you will be a better mother for it.

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Suddenly Single Mom - Learning to be the Primary Caregiver Jan 14, 2019

For many couples with children it has been typical that the woman would be the primary care giver. Often times staying at home to care for the kids while her husband worked.

However, over the years this dynamic has changed a bit. A 2013 Pew study revealed that 40% of women were the main breadwinners in their homes. It is likely that number has risen over the years.

So what happens when a mother, who has always been the primary breadwinner, becomes a single mom? When you haven't been the primary care giver for your child it can be quite a change.

In this weeks podcast interview I talk with Rachel who has recently become a single mom. After separating from her husband, she found herself struggling with being the primary caregiver.

Rachel had always been the breadwinner for her family while her husband took care of their baby. When they separated Rachel had to learn how to be both breadwinner AND caregiver.

Not many of us can understand what it's like to find ourselves in tears at the grocery store because we don't know what foods our baby likes. Rachel's husband had always taken care of the shopping.

Not only did she have to learn all about her baby's habits and routines, she had to find a way to move past the guilt she felt because she didn't know these things.

In the past several months Rachel has been able to get into the groove that many of us is simply the norm. It took her quite a bit of work but things are finally going great for her and her daughter. She is settling into the single mom life and I have no doubt she will be very successful.

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Stereotypes & Why Tucker Carlson Can Kiss My Behind Jan 07, 2019

If you know me, or have listened to some of my podcasts, you know that one of the things I dislike more than most anything is stereotypes.

I do not like it when people put other people into a certain box, or judge them based on preconceived notions. Assuming they know a person's situation before actually getting to know them.

This happens all to often to single mothers. I know that personally I have been stereotyped in the following ways:

- a slut

- a whore

- a welfare queen or scammer

- just lookin' for a daddy for her kids

- mooching off the system

- your kids must be in jail

- you were probably a drug addict

And there have likely been more over the years.

So it stands to reason that I would absolutely despise when people just put stereotypes of single moms out there in the world. Especially people with large platforms.

People like Tucker Carlson.

Recently on his show Tucker did a piece on 'Men in Decline'. In this piece he talked about how women were less likely to marry men who made less money than they did.

How they SHOULD want to marry them but they more than likely don't.

Now, setting aside how insulting it is to women as a whole to assume that we are all money hungry gold diggers only interested in what a man earns. I mean god forbid we marry for something as stupid as love.

There was another statement that he made right after that one that REALLY got my attention.

“Over big populations this causes a drop in marriage, a spike in out-of-wedlock births and all the familiar disasters that inevitably follow. More drug and alcohol abuse, higher incarceration rates, fewer families formed in the next generation."

A spike in out-of-wedlock births and the familiar disasters that inevitably follow.

That my friends is a dig as single mothers. That is the stereotype that is thrown around so often about children raised by single moms. And yes, I know that there have been studies about it, and yes I know that it can and does happen.

However, I also know that there are thousands upon thousands of children who are raised by single mothers who turn out just fine. No jail time, no drug habits, no alcoholism.

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Setting Yourself Up For Success in the New Year Dec 31, 2018

It is almost the end of 2018 and I don't know about you but I am ready to kick last year to the curb!

Last year seemed to be the most BLAH year I have experienced thus far. Now, it may be due to the political BS that has been going on ALL YEAR LONG. It could be my struggles with depression. It could be any number of things.

Whatever the cause, I know that I am ready to close it out and bring in a bright new shiny year.

I don't know about you, but I personally have routines and rituals that I go through every New Year's Eve. Not the party till I pass out kind of rituals but the kind that help me prepare myself for success in the coming year.

Now some of these may be a little too woo-woo for you, and that's ok. BUT I highly recommend that you also close out your year in a way that helps you make 2019 an amazing year!

This episode covers my list of rituals and routines for closing out the year...

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Don't Try to Live Up to a Perfect Christmas Ideal Dec 18, 2018

It's CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!! I don't know about you, but this is my favorite time of year! However, this is also the time of year where I tend to drive myself a little bit crazy and drive myself into the ground. I also used to deal with an overabundance of guilt because of my need to compare myself to other moms or families. In this episode I talk about why you shouldn't try to live up to the idea of a 'perfect' Christmas.

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Being Thankful Every Day Nov 15, 2018

The holidays are here again!

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I keep seeing people posting on social media all the things that they are thankful for. And while I think that expressing gratitude is always a good thing; I always wonder why people only seem to do it around a specific holiday?

Why only think about what you are thankful for around Thanksgiving? Why not do it all year round, every day?

Today's podcast talks about why remembering to be thankful every single day is so important.

Now I know that for many of us single moms it can be hard sometimes to be thankful or show gratitude. When things seem so hard or stressful. When you aren't sure how you are going to pay the bills this month or if you will have enough food.

When your ex decides to stop paying child support. Or maybe you are recently divorced and it seems hard to see how you could possibly be thankful for your world falling apart at the seams. These hard times can make it very hard to find things to be thankful for.

But it's these times when it is more important than ever to work on being thankful. Because that is how we bring ourselves back to the light and the good times. By finding the good in the bad.

Creating a daily gratitude practice for yourself can be so helpful and will often get you through those hard times with a better outlook.

This episode covers a few ways to help yourself in your gratitude practice

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Bonus Episode: This Twitter Dad Made My Heart Happy Oct 30, 2018

A few days ago I was scrolling through my Twitter feed trying, and failing, to ignore the political nonsense that has overtaken literally all social media platforms. I posted some pithy comments and re-tweeted some of the dumbest things that I came across. Realizing that by doing so I was totally contributing to the din, but apparently unable to stop myself.

When I came across a post by a father Twitter handle: @daddyfiles, that caught my attention and made me stop in my tracks. It was a post about his little boy being bullied at school for wearing nail polish.

His post railed against the toxic masculinity that caused this little boy to question himself and want to stop being who he was. And this dad was PISSED! I read through his entire thread and all I could say was BRAVO!

Seriously, I gave that man a standing ovation in my damn living room. It made my heart so happy to see this father do what ALL parents should do - accept their children for how they are. Could it be a phase? Of course it could. Could it mean more? Of course it could. But ultimately this little boy ended up knowing that his father supported and loved him no matter what!

Isn't that what we as parents are supposed to do? Raise our children to know that no matter how they dress, what they look like, who they love, how they wear their hair - that we will love them. That we support them.

We don't have to always LIKE what they do or wear BUT they aren't us and we aren't them. Giving your child the ability to express themselves (as long as no one is being physically harmed) is so very important. I don't want my child to grow up hating me because I couldn't bring myself to approve of who they were at their core.

I would never want to lose a relationship with my child simply because I couldn't accept their differences. It made my heart happy to see this dad just blast the toxic masculinity that caused his poor little boy to suffer at school. Thank you @daddyfiles for all you did to support and love your son!

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The Pros and Cons of Working From Home Oct 22, 2018

The Pros & Cons of Working From Home

As a single mom I struggled for years trying to support my family while working full time. I had to apply for government assistance to afford the child care I needed. I knew that the only way I was going to get out the struggle I was in was if I didn't have to pay for child care. The only way I would be able to do that was to work from home.

I had no idea what I was going to do or how I was going to do it but I dove right in. I made a lot of mistakes and stumbled along the way, but I was able to create a successful business for myself. I have been self employed for 10 years now. It has been the best thing I could have done for myself and my family.

Working from home has given me back control of my time and allowed me to be more present in my children's lives.

Working from home has plenty of perks but it can also have some downsides as well. It isn't always for everyone. In this weeks podcast I cover the pros and cons of working from home.

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Remember to Take Care Of Yourself! Oct 10, 2018

As single moms we are more often than not running in 5 different directions, going a million miles an hour with our hair on fire! We take on so much every day just to keep our small humans alive and kicking.

But when we do this it can take its toll on us. Hell, who am I kidding, it kicks our asses most days. We spend so much time taking on all the things that need to be done that we often neglect to take care of ourselves.

We put ourselves last.

And by the time we finally have time to MAYBE do something for ourselves, it is really just one more thing that takes up our time and energy and we just don't do it.

OR we feel guilty for doing it. For the simple act of taking a moment to care for ourselves, we feel bad because we could be doing any number of the other things that are on our to-do list.

And yes, I KNOW that you know how important self-care is. And yes, I KNOW that you have heard me talk about this before. But if you are anything like me, even knowing how important it is, it almost always ends up falling WAAAAAAAY to the bottom of your list of priorities.

We have to stop letting ourselves do that. Our well being is imperative to our children's well being. If we are too stressed and too tired and too overwhelmed - it reflects in our parenting. No matter how hard we try to hide it.

We aren't at the top of our games as moms when we allow ourselves to get to that point. We need to relax and recharge!

Now I know that many of you are saying 'I don't have time!' .... none of us have time! BUT we need to find a way to make time. Even something as simple as taking a bubble bath and reading for 30 min while your kids take a nap. OR giving yourself a pedicure after the kids go to sleep for the night.

Instead of doing that load of laundry, that will still be there when you are done (it's not like it's gonna self destruct if you wait an hour to put it in) - go for a walk to a park and just enjoy the out doors before you pick up your kids from school.

It doesn't have to cost a ton of money, it doesn't even have to take up much time - just find something that helps you recharge your batteries, feeds your soul/spirit and keeps you SANE!

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Pick Your Battles Sep 11, 2018

As parents we have so many different things that we have to worry about and deal with on a daily basis. Making sure that these little humans grow up safe and secure and turn into hopefully productive members of society!

But let's be honest - they can REALLY test our patience and our sanity! Who among us hasn't ended up in a battle royale with their kid over something completely ridiculous? I know I have! We all struggle with it, and we all know that in the end it leaves us feeling emotionally and physically drained.

So over the years I have learned to pick my battles when it comes to my kids, rather than spend time and energy on arguing. Now don't get me wrong - I still stand my ground on the important things but I am not willing to get into a 30 minute argument over whether my daughter should wear matching socks or not.

If my son decides he wants to make a peanut butter sandwich rather than eat spaghetti for dinner - fine by me. I am not going to argue and make myself insane over little things, because life is too short and I have only so much energy and patience to get me through my day.

Having a child with special needs definitely can complicate this but it is something that I also implement with my son. Picking my battles with him is very necessary because my son LOVES to battle. If he can get me to step in that arena with him, he is in his element. And I end up feeling like I just went 10 rounds with a boxing pro - even though I "won" the battle.

Today's podcast discusses why it is so important to your own well being and mental health to learn to pick your battles. Is it REALLY worth the argument? Or is it better for you if you can just learn to let it go?

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Don't Be So Quick To Judge Sep 03, 2018

There was a recent story about an actor who used to work on The Cosby Show who is now bagging groceries at a Trader Joes. Fox News posted this "story" with a picture of the man carrying grocery bags with a dirty shirt on. The backlash that they received from this story was epic. Because the story was positioned in a way that made it seem they were slamming the man in a sort of "look how far they have fallen" piece.

People from all walks of life came out in defense of this man. Railing against Fox for degrading a man for simply working a job. How dare they make it seem like this man was any less because he is not acting anymore and instead working a regular job like the rest of us. As of now, there has been no retraction or apology from Fox but it made me think about the subject of today's podcast.

How often do we look at someone and make a snap judgement about them? How often is it done to us? For all we know this actor DECIDED to leave acting behind and is happy as a clam bagging groceries, and to try and belittle him for it is simply wrong.

I know that I have been treated poorly by those who make snap judgments about me as a single mom. I've had people assume I was on welfare even when I wasn't. I have had people assume that because I am a single mother I must be a whore. Hell, my ex (my daughter's dad) even told me once that I was trying to trap him.

In his mind apparently, because I was a single mother, I was looking for a man to come and take care of me and my kids. That I specifically targeted him because he owned a home and a business and therefore was a good 'target'. Never mind the fact that I had been single for 7 years prior to meeting him, had my own place, paid my own bills and never once mentioned anything about marriage or moving in. Really nothing I actually did would imply that I was looking to 'trap' him. But he made his snap judgement.

Today's podcast is about these types of judgments. Do others do this to you? Do you do it to others? We shouldn't but we do. Let's try to be better so we don't end up like Fox News, trying to embarrass some guy who is just trying to live his life.

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Traumatic Brain Injury - My Son's Story Aug 28, 2018

Many of you have heard me talk about my son and his traumatic brain injury but I have never fully shared the story of how he was hurt. My son is a shaken baby survivor, both my boys are. I am returning to my podcast after taking a break to manage my life with the story of how Gage was hurt, what followed and a new issue that has come from his brain injury.

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Don't Eat Tide Pods!!! Jan 18, 2018

The newest 'challenge' that is on social media is out there for our kids to be subjected to. The Tide Pod challenge is trending right now because kids are ACTUALLY recording themselves EATING Tide Pods and posting it online. As parents we seem to have new things every day that we need to protect our kids from. Now we need to protect them from themselves and reinforce the need for basic common sense.

This weeks podcast covers social media challenges and the absolute ridiculousness of children harming themselves in an effort to get more clicks, shares, tweets and likes.

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Myiam Bialik and Raising a Confident Girl May 22, 2017

If you are not sure who Mayim Bialik is, you may not have been a young girl growing up in the 90’s watching Blossom dancing on your TV screen listening to her on screen brother Joey say “Whoa!”

You are more than likely familiar with her role as Sheldon’s love interest Amy on the Big Bang Theory. What you MAY not know however is that she is a scientist in real life. Like a really real scientist with a B.S. in neuroscience.

She also created a site called GrokNation which caters to women and includes wide-ranging topics such as religion, popular culture, parenting, and Hollywood. Man this lady has a lot going on – including launching a brand new book!

Girling Up: How to Be Strong, Smart and Spectacular looks to be an amazing book and one I will likely be purchasing for my daughter. It tackles a lot of issues for little girls from a scientific perspective breaking down many of the things that as a little girl I wondered about.

Hell, some of them I still wonder about.

The book has 6 chapters:

How Our Bodies WorkHow We GrowHow We LearnHow We LoveHow We CopeHow We MatterAnd that last chapter is one that I am so very excited to read to my daughter.

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Who You Allow Into Your Life Mar 27, 2017

Who you allow into your life, mind & heart are among the most important decisions you will ever make.

It took me some time to fully understand this and how important it was in my life. I am one of those people who will always try to see the good in people. I usually end up ignoring the bad when I do though.

Quite often I would ignore or disregard bad qualities or behavior because I thought that the person was a 'good person underneath it all'. With my boys' father I chose to look past all of the blatant signs that he was not good for me, or my boys. I tried to make something work with my daughter's father that would never work. The whole time telling myself that I could fix things that simply weren't fixable.

The realization of how important this decision was for my life finally hit home when I had to completely sever my relationship with my best friend. We had been friends for almost 10 years when I had to walk away. For some time I had suspicions that she had started using drugs. But I found myself making excuses and talking myself out of those suspicions.

My friend couldn't possibly be using, she wouldn't lie straight to my face when I asked her. She wouldn't use drugs while me and my children were in the house. I just couldn't make myself believe it no matter what my gut said. Finally, I couldn't ignore the signs and people telling me that she was using. I had to tell my best friend, a woman I considered a sister, that she could no longer be in my life.

It took me a while after that to finally realize that it took me far too long to cut my friend out of my life. I allowed her around my children when I shouldn't have because I wanted to believe my friend. That I stayed for too long in a 'relationship' with my daughter's father because I wanted believe that he would change. I ignored all the signs and it effected my life.

Have you ever heard the phrase 'You are who you hang with'?

When you allow toxic people into your life they will poison it. It may not happen right away, and you may not even realize it. Until it's too late. They can effect your outlook on life, the way you behave, activate bad habits. When I was with my daughter's father I drank a whole lot more than I normally do. I felt that in order to be with him I had to drink like him. I was the worst version of myself when I was with him.

Since that relationship and losing my best friend I have made sure to only allow positive people into my life. People who will bring out the best in me. Push me to be a better person and help me enforce a positive and healthy lifestyle. It took me many years to fully understand how important this was for a healthy life for myself and my family. Since making that decision life has been much more of a blessing than a burden.

I have had less drama to deal with. There is no longer a constant feeling of BLAH looming overhead. Making sure that only certain people are allowed into our family and into my life has been critical for our happiness and peace. It is the most important thing.

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Talking About the Transgender Bill with your Kids Feb 27, 2017

The most recent controversial decision by the Trump administration (because there have been quite a few to choose from) is taking aim as transgender youth in our schools.

In May of 2016 the Obama administration stated that Title IX protects the right of transgender students to use the restroom and locker rooms that coincide with the gender they identify with. However, recently the current administration has decided that they didn't really like that idea.

Stating that they believe that it should be something each state and local school district should develop policy on. Basically passing the buck to the states, which means that many transgender students in conservative states are screwed.

Now putting aside all of the politics that come along with what should be a basic human right issue it does bring up the topic of how are we addressing this with our children? I mean it does effect them doesn't it?

So I thought I would share how this issue has effected our family because:

we actually know a trans child,she goes to my daughter's school.she rides in our carpooland we simply adore her!

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The Difference Between Alone and Lonely Feb 13, 2017

Valentine's Day. A day that, for some, brings more misery than happiness. Those who are single and long to have someone to share their life with may find this day to be horribly depressing.

I however, am not one of those people.

Valentine's Day is just another day for me. Nothing special about it. I don't feel better or worse about myself on this day. Nor do I long for something that I am 'missing' in my life.

I realized that for many this day is not so simple. For many, they feel lonely or like they are missing a piece in the grand puzzle of their life. This led me to think about the difference between being alone and being lonely.

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Don't Make Resolutions - Set Your Intentions and Goals Jan 13, 2017

HAPPY 2017!!!!

I hope that the first few weeks of the new year have been good for you. I know that this has been a scary couple of weeks for me. As many of you listening know I am not a huge Trump fan. To be honest he scares the hell out of me and I find him kind of childish.

However, like it or not, he is the new President of the United States. That being said I decided that this would make for a good topic for this podcast. Not Trump per say BUT my ability to manage how I feel about Trump.

What does any of this have to do with New Year's Resolutions you may ask? Well, here's how.

I have always had an issue with making New Year's Resolutions mainly because of the mindset around them. The fact that we are supposed to tell ourselves that the very first day of a New Year holds some secret power over us to make us do things that we haven't done ALL YEAR LONG! Like some sort of ass backwards Cinderella - the stroke of midnight is going to somehow make us magically become better at doing shit!?

Um-no. That isn't how it works. We can tell ourselves that all we want but if we are truly being honest, the second we make that resolution we already have a part of our brain ticking down the time until we break them. The simple idea of a New Year's Resolution brings that idea of when we are going to break it into our minds.

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Hatchimals and the Value of a Dollar Dec 08, 2016

ARE HATCHIMALS EVEN WORTH IT?!

It seems like every few years or so there is a toy that comes out around Christmas time that sends parents into a consumer frenzy. A toy that their child simply HAS to have. Like I will totally DIE if you don’t get that for me Mom!

When I was a child it was Cabbage Patch Dolls. Those were the must have toys for that year back in 19- cough cough!

I realize I just totally dated myself because I remember when Cabbage Patch Dolls were new and special. That is the very first toy craze I remember though.

I was lucky though, because around the time that the Cabbage Patch dolls were in high demand my father worked as the manager of a toy store! So you can guess which little girl got the hook up on Cabbage Patch Dolls.

When people were running around like crazy trying to find a doll, ANY doll my wonderful father had already shipped me THREE! Well, actually it was two dolls and one Koosa. Now if you aren’t familiar with Koosas they were the ‘pets’ of the Cabbage Patch dolls. There was a dog, a cat and a lion – those are the only ones I remember. They were basically Cabbage Patch dolls with animal heads and tails.

Now let’s forget that the way this product was marketed they were basically trying to tell little children that if they had this Koosa doll they would be lucky. I wanted one just so my other dolls could have a pet. During the Cabbage Patch rush these guys were just as hard to find as the others. So I was REALLY lucky to have gotten one for Christmas that year.Moving forward the next real toy craze I remember was that damn Tickle Me Elmo doll. Remember that one? People were going CRAZY about that toy back in 1996. People were stampeding each other, parents were getting into fights in the stores… it was ridiculous! I remember as a teenager thinking they were all insane!

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Protests, Presidents and Positivity Nov 14, 2016

The fallout from the election last week has been an interesting one to say the least. There have been protests for the last few days by those who are genuinely fearful of a Donald Trump presidency and there are those who say the should just get over it.

The only thing that can be agreed upon at this point is that we are all just hoping that this won't screw up the country. We hope that after every election though don't we?

The biggest concern though for many is the hate and fear based campaign run by Trump and how that will now translate to his presidency. Will he follow thought with all his promises? Or will we see him walk back many of the things that he said - which we are already witnessing a bit of in the past few days.

Today's podcast I talk about:

why those protesters have every right to do what they are doingWhy there needs to be just a bit more understanding on both partsHow we are handling the election and resulting fall out in our homeEncouraging my children to be champions to those who feel threatenedWhy it is important to make positive LOUDI also will address the fact that I sometimes swear in my podcast and why that won't be changing any time soon.

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Reaction to the 2016 Election Nov 10, 2016

In this podcast I will be discussing my feelings on the 2016 Presidential election and how I am talking about it with my children.

There is no doubt that this election has been the most divisive and ugly election that I and most every one else have ever experienced. There wasn't just mud slinging and scandal - those happen in every election sadly. No in this election it was much worse. Because in this election we had Donald Trump.

Not only was this man completely unqualified to run for President, he ran the most horrifying campaign that I have ever witnessed. From calling Mexicans rapists, to insulting women and people with disabilities he ran the gambit of offenses. All the way up to having a tape surface of him bragging about assaulting women.

And somehow, this man won.

I spent the better part of the day after the election in utter disbelief of what had occurred. How? How did hate and divisiveness win the highest office in our country? How did a pompous reality tv star get elected to be our next president?

And how - how am I going to explain this to my children? My babies who I have tried to raise to be good people. I have brought my kids up to know that bullying is wrong, racism is wrong, bigotry in all forms is wrong, touching people without their permission and sexual assault is wrong. Yet here is a man who did all of those things, is a GLARING example of all of those things - and he was just elected president.

I am horrified that such a vast majority of our country believed that this man, this horrible man, was the answer to our countries problems.

Now I know that many people simply didn't want Hillary Clinton to be President. I get that. I understand. She has had her fair share of scandal and problems. I don't discount them. However, she was categorically more qualified to lead our country than him.

I also know that many people voted for him because he wasn't a politician and they felt that the establishment was responsible for all their ills in life. So they decided to burn it to the ground.

And I also know that many voted for him because they themselves are racists and bigots and horrible individuals and they felt that he was their champion. And that disturbs me on a very deep level.

But, like it or not, he was in fact elected. So now what? Now what do we do? As a nation we are more divided than ever, a lot of that due frankly to the campaign that Mr. Trump ran. So how do we who did not support him come to terms with this? How do we move on?

Well I for one told my children that no matter what, the most important thing was for them to still be good people. To love others. To include others. To support understanding and not hate. And to stick up for those who they may see being persecuted. To be the good guys and not the bad. To be positive and hopeful. And to hope as hard as they can that Trump doesn't screw it up.

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Perspective Oct 21, 2016

In this podcast I discuss the upcoming election, perspective and how our perspective of things can cause us to be blind to how other people view things. Going through life with blinders on and never trying to see things from another perspective can cause so much dysfunction and so many problems.

As parents, as people - it is so critical, especially now, to be able to at least TRY to view things from another perspective.

Currently in this election season - having been one of the worst that I personally have ever seen I am faced with new problems and new issues to look at. New things that I unfortunately now have to discuss with my children.

When they come to me and ask:

"Why are those people yelling mean things about Mexicans?"

"Mommy, my friend at school is crying and scared that if Donald Trump wins the election that she and her family will be sent home because they are Muslim"

"Mommy, why does he hate Muslims?"

"Why are all these people so mean to each other?"

And then, having to explain and discuss the vile things that were spoken on a bus by a grown man who should have known better. Having to have a discussion with my teenage boys about assault and why what he said was so offensive to me as a woman. And to ensure that they knew (which they already did but due to these circumstances I felt I REALLY needed to drive the point home) that is it NEVER ok to touch a woman without her permission.

Trying to explain why someone running for the highest office in the world is acting less mature than my 9 year old is not an easy thing to do. Much less trying to explain why he is that odd orange color.

And as much as this election has enraged me at times I do have to take a step back and realize that some people who follow and support Trump maybe just don't get it. Maybe they don't understand why some of the things that he says are so terrible to most of the rest of us in the country. Perspective.

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Colin Kaepernick - What Do I Tell My Kids? Sep 08, 2016

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT KAEPERKICK NOT STANDING?

Unless you have been living under a rock somewhere you know about the recent to-do involving San Francisco 49er’s Quarterback Colin Kaepernick not standing during the National Anthem.

Kaepernick stated in an interview later his reasons for not standing – https://youtu.be/laG1y6FpAhc&vq=1080

Since his decision to sit during the National Anthem there have been many who have spoken out both for and against his decision. Those who are against his choice have been, let’s just say – colorful in their comments against him. Many who say an athlete who makes millions of dollars shouldn’t or can’t say anything about being oppressed or injustices. Many who say that because of all of the success he has had and the fact that he was raised by adoptive parents who are white he has no right or reason to say anything. That because he clearly hadn’t suffered any indignities that he has no room to talk. Many who say that because of the opportunities he has had that he shouldn’t be disrespecting the flag and anthem of the country that gave him those opportunities.

However, there are many people who feel that Kaepernick is justified in his protest. Using his platform to bring attention to an ongoing problem in our country. Keeping the discussion and awareness current to try and bring about much needed change.

There are others still who may not agree with him not standing but they agree with his right to do so!Including many veterans who started the #veteransforkaepernick that started trending across the internet. Many of whom have stated that they fully support him in his actions.

President Obama even stated his support of what the pro-athlete has done, stating that he is exercising his constitutional right. Which of course made many conservatives in this country practically stroke with outrage.

Jim Wright an author and vet who posted an essay on his Facebook page with his response to the issue which has since gone viral also supports Kaepernick.

“IF Kaepernick doesn’t feel his country respects him enough for him to respect it in return, well, then you can’t MAKE him respect it.

You can not make him respect it.

If you try to force a man to respect you, you’ll only make him respect you less.

With threats, by violence, by shame, you can maybe compel Kaepernick to stand up and put his hand over his heart and force him to be quiet. You might.

But that’s not respect.

It’s only the illusion of respect.”

WHAT DO YOU TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT KAEPERNICK?

I have had several people ask me how I have approached this topic with my children.

“What do you say to them about his lack of respect?”

“Would you allow your children to sit during the anthem?”

“Are you telling them that what he is doing is wrong and unpatriotic?”

Sigh.

Many of my friends think like me and believe what I believe; however there are many friends and even family who are a little more – a lot more – conservative than me. Knowing that about me I am not sure why they would think I would agree with their line of thinking but…

My response to those who ask what I tell my children about what Kaepernick has done is this…

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Back to School and Checking In On Goals Aug 15, 2016

Ahhhh, it’s that time of year again. The time that children and teachers alike dread but parents celebrate. Back to school! The time of year when as a stay at home mom I finally take back my house! After spending two and a half months with two teenagers and a 9-year old who THINKS she is a teenager I finally get to have the house all to myself!

And not a moment too soon to be quite honest with you! You see, summer vacation is one of those grand ideas that is fabulous in theory but not always so wonderful in practice. It starts out great, don’t get me wrong – trips to the pool, to the zoo, vacations to destinations that are beautiful and maybe even educational. Getting to sleep in, no more alarm clock blaring in your ear at god awful hours of the morning. No wondering if you remembered to pack their lunches the night before and then throwing them together last minute while half asleep because you hadn’t.

It definitely has its perks…. For about the first month to month and a half.

Then the chaos starts. All those fun trips to the pool and the zoo they are now booooring because ‘we’ve been there a hundred times Mom!’ Now that the amazing vacation to exotic destinations is over everything else seems to pale in comparison. They’ve read all their books and NO they don’t want to go get more because ‘reading is booooring’. Your teenager is now sitting on the couch for hours on end mercilessly slashing and stabbing through a mob of zombies, or vampires or whatever strange creatures are in his latest video game.

The idea of going outside isn’t interesting because ‘there’s nothing to dooo out there Mom’. And any suggestion you could possibly make is either boring or is greeted with that ‘look’. You know the one that says ‘I can’t believe you even suggested something so childish and stupid’. Yeah, that one. You have either experienced it or given it in your lifetime. (And if you haven’t gotten it yet from your kid, juuuust wait, it’s coming).

Then just when you think it couldn’t get any worse – they turn on each other. Like mad rabid dogs over the last bone. Things that really shouldn’t even BE things all of the sudden are the topic of hour-long arguments and discussion. Things like – sitting too close to each other. Seriously. I am not kidding. An hour long argument because one of them sat too close to the other and then wouldn’t move. Arguments over who has been on the television too long. Arguments about who went into who’s room without permission. Arguments about whether or not the lizard is a girl or a boy – I swear to GOD!

AT SOME POINT I THINK THEY WERE JUST MAD AT EACH OTHER FOR EXISTING!

The remaining weeks of summer vacation are some of the longest that a parent can face. So when those back to school sections start going up at the local Target and Wal-Mart we all do a back handspring of joy in our minds.

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Getting The Help I Need Jul 06, 2016

After taking a month off from The Single Mom Success Podcast I guess I should explain why I went MIA for a bit. There were many things that I was struggling with - lack of motivation, lack of focus, lack of interest and just a general BLAH feeling.

I brushed it off for quite some time thinking that if I just powered through everything would be ok and I would get back to 'normal'. I mean, I'm a single mom and a strong independent woman I can totally make myself better right?

Well that didn't happen. Things just got worse. I was at the point where I didn't care if I showered for the day, or 2 days or 4 days... I was losing clients because I wasn't focusing on my business. I was losing my temper with my children on a regular basis, for little to no reason.

I was a hot mess.

For the longest time I thought depression was something that other people dealt with. I mean, I'm not depressed. I'm not sad, I'm not lonely, I'm not unhappy - well not REALLY unhappy. I'm not suicidal and I don't cry all the time. That's what it means to be depressed right?

WRONG!

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If Your Child Is A Bully, It May Cost You May 13, 2016

This episode covers bullying and how it can not only hurt other kids, but how parents can now be held responsible for their child's bullying.

Recently a town in Wisconsin passed an ordinance that has started to cause a little bit of controversy. Focusing on the bullying that has been on the rise in the past few years this new bill will now fine the parents of the offender. That’s right, the bully’s parents will have to pay if their child’s bad behavior.

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Self Care - Do You Forget To Take Care Of You? Apr 30, 2016

As single mothers we often will take on the weight of the world. We take care of everything, do everything and worry about everything. It is so easy for us to become so busy caring for the kids and everything else that we forget to take care of ourselves. We don’t do the things that we need to do for ourselves.

Sometimes it’s because we feel like we can’t or shouldn’t. That it would be selfish of us to take time that could be spent doing other things. I know that too often I feel guilty if I do something for myself or take time for myself. If ever I get a day to just sit and do nothing I feel bad because I SHOULD be doing something.

But taking time for yourself and caring for yourself is so important!

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Why You Need to Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Apr 13, 2016

This episode is all about STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

One of the people that I really pay attention to and follow pretty religiously is Gary Vaynerchuck or Gary Vee. He is this amazing entrepreneur who has really perfected his hustle. This man is a machine when it comes to his business and his life. He built an extremely successful business (actually multiple businesses) by learning as much as he could and simply out working his competitors. If you ask him he will tell you that he “day trades in attention and builds businesses”.

Recently Gary posted something on his Instagram account – ‘One life. One time. Way too many people aren’t acting this way.’

And I have to say this simple little meme really spoke to me. After going to Infusioncon this year and listening to the speakers talk (and Gary Vee was one of those speakers) I came home and started thinking about all of the things that I simply put off in my life. I started asking myself –

‘WHAT DO I WANT OUT OF MY LIFE?’

‘WHAT AM I DOING TO MOVE MY DREAMS AND GOALS FORWARD?’

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Being Accountable - Yes, You Need to Own Your S**t Apr 06, 2016

This episode is all about accountability. Seems a simple word really; but in practice it can be difficult at times and sometimes even harder to teach. In my life and in my family it is something that is so very important though. Being accountable for the things we do, the things we say, and how we feel are things that I try to teach my children because they are so very important.

In today’s society I feel that many people have stopped teaching this concept to their children. That they need to be accountable for themselves, in their actions, in their words and all throughout their lives. The world will definitely hold them accountable so why wouldn’t we teach them to hold themselves accountable?

It’s not always easy and quite honestly sometimes it just plain sucks but being accountable for yourself is so key to your success. Going through life with the ability to say “I did that” or “Yes I messed up” or “I will complete this by a certain day or time” and then DOING IT – all very important. Too often it is easier to just let things slide, to just shrug off your accountability and that is where we end up getting into trouble. That is when we start allowing ourselves to shirk our responsibilities.

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Wednesday Q&A With My 8 Year Old Daughter Mar 24, 2016

So I recently decided that I wanted to do a Q&A segment where I would answer some of the questions that my readers and podcast listeners have asked. To get started though I asked my 8 year old daughter if SHE would like to be the first guest.

I decided today would be a great day to do it since we were stuck at home due to a local blizzard here in Colorado. (Yep that’s how we roll here in Colorado in the spring.)

She was very excited to do this and I gotta say I was too. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before! It was so much fun. She asked me some great questions and some that I didn’t expect.

My daughter’s questions were:

When you were my age did you want to be a single mom?What was your reaction when you found out you were having twins?What was your reaction when you found out you were having another kid?What did you guys do for fun before I was born?When you were a kid, did you want three kids?What did you do for fun when you were a kid?How old were you when you got your first phone?

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Welfare Hostage - The Trap of Government Assistance Programs Mar 15, 2016

This podcast covers the trap of government assistance programs and how it holds people hostage. Anyone who has ever been on government assistance programs (or welfare) can attest that is isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. For most people it is never intended to be a permanent solution but only a short term boost until they can get back on their feet again.

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Are You Living Your Life Deliberately On Purpose? Mar 09, 2016

Are you living your life deliberately on purpose? Or are you simply reacting to what life throws at you? I recently had to ask myself this same question…

Every year I attend a conference in Phoenix hosted by Infusionsoft. If you haven’t heard of Infusionsoft don’t worry, you’re probably not a marketer or small business owner, BUT I guarantee you that if you have ever filled out a form on someone’s website and then started getting emails from them – you’ve at least experienced a small part of Infusionsoft.

Every year the good folks at Infusionsoft throw a big conference for us geeks and marketing people to go to; and every year I go I learn a whole truckload of new things. This year though was a little different. I still learned all the great marketing tips and tricks that I use in my business and I still met a TON of really amazing people. But this year they had a new MC for the event – Scott Harris.

I came home from that conference with a renewed sense of purpose AND the drive and desire to break free from the things I have allowed to hold me back. I have created my goals and am now working on building out my process for accomplishing those goals.

The reason that I decided to post and podcast about this is that I know that there are many of you out there who also have goals and dreams and visions that your are not accomplishing. Are you allowing something to keep you from those goals? What excuses are you making for not starting today? How much MORE time to you think you will get?

Because like Scott said at my conference – you aren’t getting more time in your life, you are losing time every second of ever day. One day you will look up and another year has gone by and you are no closer to your goals than you were before. What is keeping you from doing those things that you want to do? And don’t say your children or your ex or your job… because those are not it.

Your major block is YOU and your mindset and your ability to take action. So how will you live your life? Just sitting there waiting for it to happen to you? Or will you go out and live with purpose?

Will you live your life deliberately on purpose?

I know I am going to!

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Confessions of a Terrible, Horrible, Awful Mom Feb 29, 2016

Yep, this podcast is all about how I am a terrible, horrible, awful mom. At least I would likely be labeled as one by the paparazzi and social media if I were a famous person. If I was a mother who’s parenting style was constantly under scrutiny like many of the celebrity parents out there I would definitely be tagged with that headline.

Recently one of my favorite blogs – Scary Mommy – addressed an “article” from another site calling actress Charlize Theron a ‘monster mom’ because she was “dragging” her son into her car.

I love the Scary Mom blog because they have a sarcastic and smart ass type of style that mirrors my own. Their article reflected exactly what I was thinking when I saw that nonsense – that isn’t dragging that is “getting an immobile child into the car”.

Teaching my children this does not make me an awful mom. Just like Charlize Theron trying to get her child into the car when he is doing the whole ‘limp noodle’ thing does not make her a ‘mad mother‘. It makes her a parent, just like you or I doing the best that she can.

But like I said before, if teaching your child that they can not get away with behaving poorly without consequence makes me an awful mom, then I guess I’m an awful mom. And I will wear that badge proudly if it means my children will grow up as decent kids with the knowledge that they can’t just be jerks.

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The Challenge of Growing Up and Letting Go Feb 23, 2016

Growing up and letting go… sounds a bit like an after school special title doesn’t it?

Regardless of what it sounds like it is in fact what I am currently struggling with. It seems like it wasn’t that long ago when my boys were just little kids and now I am coming face to face with the reality that my little boys aren’t little anymore. They will be 16 this year, and to be quite honest I’m scared shitless about it.

I have openly admitted in the past that I am very protective of my children, probably more so than most mothers because of what happened to my son Gage. Having a child almost die is one of the worst experiences I have ever gone through. After that I have just dreaded even the possibility of something else happening to any of my children.

This episode covers my struggles with letting go as my kids get older.

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How Do You Forgive Someone Who Ruined a Life? Feb 18, 2016

If you have been following my podcast for a while you know that I am the proud mama of two amazing special needs boys: Gage and Connor. Both areShaken Baby Syndrome survivors and are two of the most important people in my life.

As you may have heard in previous podcasts I mention briefly about my son being hospitalized when he was only 5 months old and that he spent over a month at Children’s Hospital here in Colorado. But I never dove too deeply into what happened to him or how it impacted us as a family.

In this episode I talk about Gage's injury, how it happened and the journey we have been on.

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New Year - Not So New You Jan 18, 2016

Every year when New Year’s Eve and the New Year roll around everyone starts talking about resolutions and how the New Year will bring a ‘New Them’. Which is great in theory – but when you start the New Year with these big plans or ‘resolutions’ but you are still the same you inside then you will likely fail.

For example, if your resolution is to lose weight but you don’t really change any of the bad habits that helped you gain the weight in the first place then you won’t be successful. If your mindset isn’t right then you will ultimately fail.

How often have you found yourself saying “I’ll start my diet tomorrow.” or “I’ll exercise tomorrow.” and then you make another excuse and another. I know that I myself have been very guilty of it. I often times feel like the amount of weight I have to lose makes me feel like it’s impossible so I give up before I even start. And unless I change that mindset for myself I will never lose the weight. Changing your habits, replacing things instead of cutting things out and other various ‘tricks’ can help you on your journey.

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Are You Spreading Shame & Judgement Instead of Joy? Dec 14, 2015

The holiday season is by far my favorite time of year. I absolutely love seeing all the lights and decorations and putting up the Christmas tree with the kids. This time of year just always gives me that warm fuzzy feeling, but for some it brings a lot of judgement.

Recently a mother came under fire over social media for providing TOO MUCH for her children.

Emma Tapping, mother of three and savings blogger, posted an image on her Instagram account showing her Christmas tree almost engulfed in presents. Soon after the image was taken and used to create a meme stating

“It’s nearly time for all the materialistic parents to compete and broadcast how many presents their kids have. Just remember, there are a lot of children who won’t get much.”

This set off a social media frenzy of people criticizing and casting judgment upon this mother for her post.

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The True Meaning of Christmas in a Starbucks Cup? Nov 12, 2015

Unless you have been living under a rock you've probably heard about the recent strike in the 'War on Christmas'. That's right! Yet another company is guilty of taking the 'Christ' out of Christmas. Starbucks recently unveiled their holiday cup and apparently there is a bit of an issue with it.

It's RED.

That's it, nothing more - just red.

Now for most of us rational and non-nutbag people this is not an issue. Red cup with a green logo, that's pretty festive to me. (Maybe next year they can make it plaid - I like plaid.) In the past Starbucks has had cups with reindeer, snow flakes, ornaments and such as decor on their mugs. This year they went with something basic and yet still Christmas-like. Just plain red.

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Are You Using Social Media to Shame Your Children? Nov 03, 2015

Today’s Single Mom Podcast discusses a topic that has really started to bother me lately.

As a parent I completely understand that there are times when our children will push us to our absolute limits. Times when we will be so angry that we have to walk away from them and count to eleventy-billion before we can even think of speaking to them again. Often times this will result in the child being grounded or punished in some form or another.

However, there has been a steady increase over the past few years of parents utilizing social media to dish out what some are calling tough love and others call emotional abuse. Parents who take to Facebook or YouTube and post videos of them basically humiliating their children for all the world to see.

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Consignment Sales Are a HUGE Money Saver! Oct 19, 2015

As a single mother I am always looking for various ways to save money and one of my biggest expenses is clothing for my kids. Especially with how quickly my daughter is growing. As a baby she was growing out of her clothes every few months it seemed.

So when I found out about a local consignment sale I was very excited to see what that was all about. I had looked into consignment stores in the past, where you take your items in and they stay at the store until someone comes in and buys them – but I was never really a fan. There is no guarantee of if there will be customers coming in and where will your items be stored or displayed? And on top of that, how long will it take for my items to sell (if they ever sell at all)?

So when one day I found the ad for the Denver Just Between Friends sale I became very interested. JBF is a franchise that runs consignment sales across the country where people can buy and sell gently used items twice per year. (Other locations may have sales more often – I can only speak to the Denver sale on frequency.)

The very first time I logged into their site I was very impressed with the way they ran the sale and decided that I would try it out and have participated in every sale since!

Here are the top 5 reasons I love consignment sales.

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Stop Sending Your Sick Child To School! (It's Not That Simple) Oct 13, 2015

Recently one of my lovely children brought home a nasty little bug that they happily spread around to our entire family, not once but twice! Yep that little germ decided that it was having such a good time making us feel yucky that it stuck around for a second round of phlegmy shenanigans.

Now I am fairly certain that this pesky germ was introduced to our family from one of their friends from school. There have been a multitude of sick kids in my daughter’s class as well as at my sons’ high school; children are just little walking petri dishes. This is normally where you see people posting about how people should keep their sick kids home so they don’t make everyone else sick. If you were expecting that kind of a rant then you should stop reading at this point.

I am not one of those people who will complain about people sending their kids to school sick, because I have in fact in the past sent my children to school sick. Yep, I have dosed my child with cough medicine and Tylenol and sent them on their not-so-merry ways all the while hoping that they remember to cover their mouths when they cough and to wash their hands.

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How To Deal With Parent Shaming Sep 14, 2015

You hear all the time about things like fat shaming and body shaming and all those horrible instances of one person making another person feel bad about themselves. Recently a woman named Nicole Arbour gained a great deal of infamy due to her "Fat Shaming" video where she basically insulted overweight people everywhere. Now I understand that she felt that it was a bit of satire, which I almost always enjoy, however it was done in very poor taste and while MAYBE her intentions were to give some 'tough love' to people who struggle with their weight it ended up simply pissing a lot of people off. (I will not be posting a link to the video because it is really quite offensive - but I'm sure you can find it if you really want to search for it.)

But this brought up a topic that I have found to be a huge problem in the parenting community.

Parent Shaming

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Yes, Giving Up Can Actually Increase Your Happiness Sep 07, 2015

Don't give up!

Never give up!

Don't quit!

We constantly hear this in our lives. That you should never give up on anything, that you should keep fighting, keep working hard, keep pushing if you want to get ahead in life, if you want to be happy, if you want the outcome that you desire you CAN'T QUIT!

Sometimes when you let go or give up on something that has been causing you so much stress and unhappiness it allows you to be open to new experiences, more positive and happy experiences. Staying in a situation that continues to cause you misery simply because you don't want to give up, or feel like you failed is not good for you.

In this weeks podcast I go into this a little more in depth.

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My Weight Loss Struggle - Are There Ways to Lose Weight Quickly? Jul 21, 2015

I posted a few weeks back that I was going to start on a new challenge: Lose 40 pounds.

Yep – 40!

That’s a lot of weight to lose for me, especially since the last few years I have been packing it on instead of losing weight. I mentioned how I had gained the weight and why it was so hard for me to lose. The biggest reason being that I REALLY like food. That and I had lived a fairly sedentary lifestyle for quite a few years now.

In this podcast I talk about my weight loss struggle and different ways that may help you lose weight....

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You Need To Learn to Not Take It Personally Jul 10, 2015

One of the best books I have ever read is the 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It has brought me a great sense of clarity through my life and helped me get to a better place internally.

Reading this book and learning this concept of not taking things personally really helped me develop a better relationship with myself AND with my ex if you can believe that!

Today's podcast is about remembering not to take things personally and how I had to remember this lesson very recently.

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Surviving Summer Vacation: Using Pinterest to Cure Boredom Jun 05, 2015

I have to say that I absolutely love summer, it is by far my favorite season. After a Colorado winter (that lasted until late May this year) and a fairly dreary spring - all 2 weeks of it (it's been a weird year weather-wise for us in Colorado)... I am soooo excited to see the sun and be warm finally. I love spending time outside, going to the pool, grilling burgers and brats while drinking the occasional margarita and doing all kinds of fun things with my kiddos.

There are many pros AND cons though to being a work from home mom during the summer.

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Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing EVER! May 28, 2015

Getting fired was the best thing EVER!

Wait, WHAT?

Yep you heard me; getting fired was the best thing ever.

This podcast is all about how I decided to work from home, my decision to become a VA and how I got started down the path of self-employment. If you have been thinking of working from home and aren't sure if it would be a good fit for you I encourage you to download the free report I created "Is Working At Home For Me? 7 Things to Consider Before Starting A Home Based Business".

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Why De-Stressing is So Important and How To Do It May 27, 2015

Today's podcast is all about STRESS and how important it is to find ways, even little ways, to manage it and de-stress - it's better for you and better for your kiddos!

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The #1 Thing Single Moms Need to Change To Be Happy May 12, 2015

I know that everyone has bad days, and times when they feel just terrible or are unhappy or sad, and that is normal - again we are human. What is important is that those feelings do not start to take over and become the norm. So in today's podcast I discuss some of the things that you can do to help you get back to your happy place when you find yourself becoming lost...

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Why I Won't Let My Kids Have Social Media Accounts May 04, 2015

My daughter just turned 8 and my boys will be 15 this year and none of them have a social media account of any kind. They also do not have cell phones.

I have had several people ask my if I worry about stunting them socially, to which I very quickly reply – no.

See what I worry about is my children being influenced by the idiocy that seems more and more previlant in today’s society. I recently saw images on my own Facebook page of young ladies who did physical damage to their faces by trying to plump up their lips. Have you seen this?!?! The Kylie Jenner challenge? Girls (and some guys too) sucking on a jar or glass until their lips are swollen, basically trying to get the plump lip look that this woman has. It’s asinine! And it is causing damage to people’s faces. Seriously?!?! Who decided this was a good idea? You can see an article done about this here.

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Making Sure They Know They Are Loved! Apr 29, 2015

WARNING! THIS PODCAST IS ABOUT A SERIOUS TOPIC AND MAY BE HARD TO LISTEN TO.

Last week I received some horrible news. News that I hoped that I would never hear. A young girl, someone I had seen grow up and had been very close to, passed away. She died at the age of 21, not quite making it to her 22nd birthday.

Today's podcast is not a happy one. It is not funny or sweet, but it is something that I feel is so very important. Making sure that our children know, TRULY know, how much they are loved is important. Whether they are getting straight A's in school or are grounded for breaking curfew... they need to always know. Because I have seen what can happen when they don't...

And if you or someone you know is struggling with addiction please please find the help that you or they need. It is an awful disease that kills people, breaks up families, destroys lives... and most importantly causes major trauma for the children in our lives.

Visit Recovery.org for help.

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Are You Creating a State of Overwhelm? Apr 14, 2015

As a single mother I believe that there are many different things that contribute to feeling overwhelmed. It's not just the fact that we are single parents, there are often more contributing factors than that. The first one being that we feel like we have to be all and do all... that there is no one else to do it so we have to be the one to make it all happen. It's up to us to keep 8 million balls up in the air at all times. And we can't ever drop any. Ever. That's a lot of pressure to put ourselves under.

The next thing that adds to the state of overwhelm is expectations. Having expectations that are not realistic can lead to a feeling of overwhelm because you aren't meeting them. Trying to live up to some idealistic idea of what a mother should be doing or how your house should look or the things you should have accomplished is going to always make you feel like you aren't doing enough. That you aren't enough. And it will often cause you to try and do more and more than you are able to at this moment. Some days I can do a million different things and be completely successful at them all. Some days the only success I have had is getting the laundry out of the wash and into the dryer before it starts to smell. I realized long ago that I would never be June Cleaver - and I'm totally ok with that.

There are many other factors that contribute to that feeling of overwhelm and in today's podcast I discuss how we can create those feelings by setting unhealthy or unrealistic expectations on ourselves. By not accepting help when available or offered... and more.

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Why CAN'T I Love Being a Single Mom? Apr 10, 2015

There is a lovely woman who's blog posts I follow because she is on the same mission as I am to help and empower other single moms in the world. I have chatted with her online a few times and really think she is fantastic. I enjoy reading her articles and the things that she puts out because they align so much with my thoughts and mission for single moms. However, recently she posted an article on her blog that I fully disagreed with and to be honest got my back up a little bit.

Originally when I saw her post "I Love Being a Single Mom" - I thought to myself oh great I can't wait to hear why she loves being a single mom, because I know I do... the article was not what I thought it would be at all! She starts off the article saying she hates it when people say that they love being a single mom because they are in denial.

DENIAL!?!

I am in denial stating that I am happy being a single mom and that I love it? Um... I don't think so.

Basically she states in her article that if we were truly honest with ourselves we would admit that we want to have a relationship with someone, that we aren't really happy with our lives or we can't possibly love our lives as a single mom because we don't have a man.

Excuse me your honor but I object!

Today's bonus podcast discusses why I actually DO LOVE LOVE LOVE

being a single mom and my differing opinion on this article. You can find the article written by Jessica Rector on The Single Mom Movement by clicking here. Once again, I do love most of what she puts out and think she is a fantastic woman but on this particular topic, we definitely do not see eye to eye. (Doesn't mean she's not awesome though.)

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Baby Mama Drama - Are You Guilty of It? Apr 07, 2015

Ok let's be honest ladies, baby mama drama - are you guilty of it? Have there been times when you made more of an issue than needed? I know that I have been guilty of it many times! After many years of working on myself and how I deal with my ex I found a few things that I believe were at the root of my personal baby mama drama....

1. I was still hurt/angry - causing me to want to lash out

2. Ego - the belief that I knew more than him, was a better parent than him

3. Other people's input - allowing others to cause drama in our relationship as parents

In today's podcast I dive into how these things increased the drama that I was bringing into our co-parenting relationship....

Have you ever caused drama? Have you been guilty of it? Have you been able to realize when you were causing more drama than needed and were able to adjust?

Like it or not, if your ex is involved with your child's life then you will always need to have a relationship of some kind with them - wouldn't it be nice if it was at the very least civil? And let's face it, we already have enough drama in our lives to bring any more into it.

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12 Ways to Deal with Toxic People Mar 23, 2015

Learning how to deal with toxic people, or simply cutting them out of my life completely, has been one of the best ways that I have improved my life as a single mom.

We all have those people in our lives that just suck the life right out of us! Whether it is our ex, our mother, or friends and co-workers... there is always those few people who are just draining to be around. Or worse the ones that push our buttons on a regular basis in order to bring us into their misery.

Today's podcast discusses several ways that were identified in this article on Entrepreneur.com - '12 Ways Successful People Handle Toxic People' written by Travis Bradberry. I happened to stumble across this article today on my Facebook feed and I simply LOVE it.

I decided to go into a bit more depth on how I believe his points relate to me as a single mom and the people in my life. I had to learn in order to be successful I needed to distance myself from those who were toxic AND how to not turn into one of those people myself!

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Treat Your Ex As an Equal (Even If It Kills You) Mar 16, 2015

Do you always feel like you are gearing up for battle any time you face the possibility of dealing with your ex? Do you always argue? Is it a constant power struggle with him? If so you may need to take a look at the way that YOU treat your ex. Sometimes we need to analyze the way that we treat others and how that in turn causes them to treat us.

How can we build a good co-parenting relationship with our ex when we are always arguing? Well sometimes we have to take the high road and change the way we react, talk to and relate to our ex's in order to develop those relationships. Today's podcast dives into why this is so important and how to figure out what we can do to start treating our ex's as equals...yes I said equals, even if it kills us!

It took me quite a while to realize when I was overstepping as a parent and treating him like he was less of a person/parent because he wasn't living up to my standards and how that was causing more problems than there needed to be. It also wasn't fair to our daughter....

Today's Single Mom Success podcast talks about how changing the way that I treated my ex helped us form a better, more civil, co-parenting relationship.

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Hitting The Reset Button Mar 09, 2015

Ever have a day that starts out bad and just gets worse from there? Ever wish that there was a reset button?

Well THERE IS!

It may not be a real button but being able to hit the reset button in my house is something that has helped my family stop being so angry and frustrated all the time. Now we are able to work through the things that have upset up and then reset out day from there.

Being able to reset your day is crucial to your success! Let's face it, no one wants to be angry all day, or frustrated all day... we all want to be happy. We strive for calm and peace in our lives and that has to start from within. You can't run around screaming "WE'RE GONNA BE HAPPY DAMMIT!!!" and expect people to actually be happy.

Today's Single Mom Success podcast talks about why we use the 'reset' button and how it has helped our family.

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Change Is In The Air! Feb 24, 2015

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves." - Viktor E. Frankl

This weeks podcasts focuses on one of the keys to creating your own success. Change.

It's often a very hard thing to do but one of the things that I have found in the last few years is that being able to change the way I deal with things, the way I view things and the way I handle things has brought about a large amount of my success.

Being able to realize that we may not be able to control the things that happen to us or around us but we can control how we deal with them. And if we allow the world to dictate how we feel and react then we will never be able to change our lives for the better. Changing is important in order to move forward in life.

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Why I DON'T Hate Valentine's Day Feb 12, 2015

Valentine's Day seems to be quite an ordeal for many single moms. I see many posts in my Facebook and Twitter feeds and even hear it from my friends. They hate Valentine's Day because they are alone. I have never had that problem. I love being single and so when Valentine's Day rolls around I'm ok with being alone. I think that so many of us tend to hang our happines on whether or not we have a significant other. Why? Why should one day make you feel bad? Maybe I am crazy but I don't feel that way. In this episode I talk about how I feel about Valentine's Day and how society has turned what would normally be just a regular old day into a day where many women feel like crap. Simply because they are single.

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Single Mom Success 002 - Forgive yourself? Jan 26, 2015

Recently there was a post on a single mom Facebook group where the mom said "I just realized that I never forgave myself for being a single mom." and that comment really struck me as odd. This comment made me really want to dive into why anyone would feel the need to forgive themselves for being a single parent. Is it forgiveness that is needed, or acceptance? I don't feel the need to be forgiven by anyone for being a single mother so this idea really had me confused. Do they feel guilty for being a single mother? Why would they need to be forgiven?

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Single Mom Success 001 - Intro and Nice to Meet You Jan 12, 2015

Heather Wells the founder of Single Mom Success School starts out her podcasting with a quick intro of who she is and how she became a single mom of three amazing children. Parenting twin boys with special needs and a little girl with advanced abilities and the challenges that can bring. What her vision is and how she hopes to help other single moms out there stop struggling and start building their own success! The podcasts will help educate, inform, inspire and help single moms.

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